Since it's pretty much what Da' Board's been for the past two weeks, I'm making a thread to do just that! It'll at least be as exciting as some douche typing on Twitter! Or like "Creed Thoughts"

-Snagged some cinnamon rolls in the conference room, this morning. Left over from some product meeting I didn't attend. But there was a big pile up on Santa Fe Dr. and despite leaving 12 minutes earlier than usual, arrived 15 minutes later than usual.

-I wonder if it this new electrode vessel is fireproof, since it looks like a waterpipe.

-Selling my San Diego Comic Con exclusive GI Joe crap to a Craigslist guy in about 20 minutes. Third time I've sold to this guy. Reliable, doesn't mess around and is enthusiastic about the stuff I sell.

-Made spaghetti last night and have dangerous gas in my sphincter. Maybe it's the starch in the pasta.

-Mail issues...as my mailman has suddenly decided that I don't live in my house anymore and he's been returning all of my mail to the sender. What'd I do to piss this guy off? He'll probably pull out an uzi and gun me down this weekend.

Yeah, I've been too busy lately, hopefully things will settle down and I'll have time to write some more reviews and comment on Mad Dog's Smackdown experience.

And this thread sounds like fun.

I'm sorry, was I talking to you? :)

-Craigslit went off without a hitch and I'm now 50 bucks richer. Money which I'll blow on Panda Express, comic books, M&M's and other crap.

-Met the GF for lunch and she loaded me up with all the leftovers from her catered lunch meeting. Spinach and lettuce, loaded with about two pounds of chicken and bacon. Plus brownies. And fruit. And tarts. And Sierra Mist

-She also gave me some of her company's tradeshow schwag. A Slinky, a yo-yo, shot glass...all in a blue canvas bag. So I walked 9 blocks back to my office carrying a blue canvas bag that resembled a purse.

-Set up an eVite for our Halloween party. I started with a buncha' Cryptkeeper lines ("Hello kiddiessss... hope you'll STICK around for our party. It'll really be a KILLER time. Yeeeheeheehee"), but they didn't come off well in print.

-Best costume idea I've come up with for us is Burt Reynolds and Dolly Parton in "Best Little Whorehouse in Texas". I'd be growing a real mustache. Then when someone asks me:"'why haven't you shaved lately?", I could simply say: "because I'm going to be Burt Reynolds".

Yes. I was most disappointed that my Smackdown thread got no action.

-I've been liking "Sons of Anarchy" so far. It's trying to be like "Sopranos", but with bikers. I'm not a big fan of Katey Sagal, though. She annoys me, playing her character of "Cher in Mask from 1985"

-Not a good idea to do jumping jacks nekkid.

-It's apparently mushroom season in my yard. Heard that it's best to dig them up. If you mow them over or break 'em apart, their spores will spread and plant additional mushrooms.

-GF just TXT'd me saying she's in a business class with "Andy from The Office" and has to keep herself from laughing. I TXT'd back: "uh oh...here comes Treble".

-It's that time of year again. The spanking douchebag Donkey fans are stirring up that age old debate: "who is hottust cherleeder in NFL" (sic) by referencing images from my website. So here's the latest turds I've been messing with:
http://forums.denverbroncos.com/showthread.php?t=122022

Note the "yeah baby, wooo" image on the first post.

-Along those lines, I often marvel at NFL forumsters who include a crappy signature to honor their dead relatives. Like a crappy Photoshop Violation that reads: "in memory: Galatina Gomez, 1989-2008". I just don't think ol' poor dead Galatina would want her memory pasted all over an online debate about how much the Raiders supposedly suck, complete with profanity and sodomy jokes.

-My Burt Reynolds costume is a go. The Stache Race starts soon.
Bookmarks for self:
Sheriff shirt

and

Fake Stache

I also think it'd be a good idea to find one of those novelty Sheriff badges that sez: "Burt".

-Walgreens is currently running 2 packs of M&M's for a buck. Including the awesome Peanut Butter flavor!

-Blew out my sprinklers, yesterday. That's always cool to see little mini-geysers all over your yard. Just in time, too, as it dropped down to 38 degrees last night.

-Went to the Jay Cutler show, last night. Brandon Marshall filled in as host. Didn't get his autograph, but got one from "special guest", Kenny Peterson. Good meal, though, and I got a beer flight.

You know...you may be onto something with this...if we all start our own threads...then we'd only need like 12 active threads on the entire board.

Eh, somehow this is more readable than a crappy blog about someone's life, even though that's essentially what this is...it's just...interesting...because it's you.

I hate cold-calls from Copier Salesmen. I cover phones over the lunchhour and got this today:

No "hi" or anything, just:

"This is Phillip the rep for the photocopier! I need the serial number of the unit to get you supplies, ASAP!"

I told Phillip that he's not our rep. Furthermore, we don't have a "photocopier", it's a digital color copier...and our "rep" would know that. Just an outright, bold-faced lie. Fucking loser. I hate these clowns. They'll even go door-to-door in our building and try to drum up sales. I'm surprised that they're still so damn adundant in October 2008.

-Tried to watch some videos via On Demand, tonight. It's kind of a bitch, because they have a master list of about 300 videos, A to Z that display maybe 8 at a time on the screen. So when you get done watching your "M" video from page 51, it resets and you're back at A on page 1.

Anyways, for the first time in almost a year, Avril Lavigne's "Hot" isn't on there. She's icky, but actually looked kinda' bangable in her pseudo stripper fishnet outfit and the "MUTE" function enabled. There's always YouTube.

-Issue confronting me today:

client in Arizona says: "we need an eNewsletter!"

Me: "great... give me the content, tell me what it should say, which products you want to feature and who it should go to.".

Client: ".....we need an eNewsletter!"

They say the average person swallows a few spiders a year while sleeping. I've probably swallowed 18 in the past years. Some while conscious, even. I leave my windows open all night in the summers, which is probably why my home seems to have a lot of spiders.

So I've been thinking about getting this thingie:
Riddex Plus

Out at a karaoke bar on Friday night (don't worry... wasn't drunk enough to do "Winona's Big Brown Beaver") and they played Survivor's "Eye of the Tiger".

As I usually do when I hear that song, I say to whoever's around:"Hey! It's Hulk Hogan's old theme song!" But my Awesome GF instantly shot back: "No! Von Erich theme song!" Yes, she was absolutely right...as Kerry Von Erich used that as his intro music for a spell in the early 80's.

I got all emotional. "snif... you know old 80's wrestling themes...snif..."

She also got me a Godzilla/origami t-shirt, last week. I saw it while we were in San Diego in July, but they didn't have my size. She remembered, got their business card, and ordered it online for me.

Hey, sounds like you found "the one". Now just don't fuck it up.

Still watching "Sons of Anarchy"...but via On Demand. I probably wouldn't have followed the show if it wasn't archived there. So good move on FX and Comcast's part.

Last episode I watched (think it was number 6) had a guest appearance by Ally Walker-- the cute MILF from the old show "Profiler" (or even "Universal Soldier"). She played a horny Federal Agent and it was kinda' hot.

Promos for the show quoted some braindead critic saying "It's a Sopranos for the new century". Really...new century? Strange, considering Sopranos debuted in February 1999 and the remaining five seasons were all produced and shown well in THIS century (2000 to 2007). Unless the critic actually thinks we shouldn't view "Sons of Anarchy" until the year 2100.

Stupid that the critic said that...and even dumber that FX has been using that on their commercials and promos.

If anyone else is watching it, I'd be allright with starting a "OAO Sons of Anarchy" or "OAO SAMCRO" thread.

After "SoA", I found Animal Planet's "Whale Wars" on OnDemand. A semi-documentary that follows the "Sea Shepherds" organization-- run by an extremist who was kicked out of Greenpeace.

Basically, a buncha' hippies signed up to ride a freighter to Antarctica to stop Japanese whaling operations. It's bizarre and controversial, as the Japanese operate under the 'research' flag and carry around giant placards in ENGLISH to denote this. The giant placards say stuff like "we are testing stomach contents" and are carried as the Japanese slice open whales on-deck. I'm not sure what to make of this, but it's apparently enough to get 60 hippies in a ship to go down there.

So far, in less than two episodes, the hippies have been shown as complete fuck-ups. They babbled about how the ship can't stop if anyone goes overboard, and that they'll freeze to death. So of course, they test out a small dingie and it instantly gets capsized, with four hippies tossed into the water. The boat stops and rescues them

But during the rescue effort, the cook got all excited, was flailing a pole around and screwed up the crew's lone helicopter. Crew members begin pointing fingers at how the other is incompetent.

Next, the captain wanted crew members to board the Japanese freighter and become hostages.

Crazy stuff, but with great cinematography and it's definitely a unique plot.

-Sold more crap via Craigslist, last night. Believe it or not, but I sold some frickin' GO-BOTS for 15 bucks. Money-wise, I'd say that over 25 years I broke even.

Those were cheap and you could put 'em in your pocket and take 'em to school to show to your buddies. Something you couldn't do with Transformers. Yet I do remember one kid bringing Megatron (the gun) to school in his backpack. Something that would probably draw disciplinary action, today.

-Got caught up on "Battlestar Galactica", last night. Watched the episodes where Gaeta and Zarek stage a coup. One goofy scene: when Adama's leading all the "good guys" through the corridors to the bridge; it seemed like they should be singing "We Shall Overcome".

-Also cracks me up how, every time he gets on a Cylon ship, Baltar gets to bang hot chicks, regardless of the situation.

-I'm not sure if it's creepy or hot...but former teen idol Hilary Duff is slutting it up in a new video called "Reach Out".

Hmmm... thank you for bringing that to my attention.

I'm wondering why we have the Fucking Internets anymore. Prime example: I wanted to read a story on Yahoo about gas prices. I click on it and I get.... a video. No text at all and I can't view videos at the office.

Pathetic Bastard Email of the Day

Dear Pathetic Bastard Who Can't Even Afford to Spend ONE Dollar:

I currently live in an old abandonded Winnebago next to the waste facility on the Platte River. I live off of hot dogs and pork 'n' beans plus whatever large rats or small rabbits I can kill. I am counting on selling my comics so I can have a few dollars to buy more pork n' beans, hotdogs and maybe even some frozen Kroger processed hamburgers or a Little Juan frozen burrito. Please help my cause by spending ONE or even TWO dollars by purchasing a comic book from me.

If that doesn't work, I strongly suggest you turn off the computer, since it is sucking energy and may be costing you in excess of 12 cents to email me. Thus, if you don't send me 8 emails, you may have enough money to buy ONE comic, sometime in the future.

You still talkin' to yourself, Willis?



I'd give him some of mine, but I really don't give a shit, so, no, count me out, too.

Settled an argument amongst some guys, last night at Coors Field. Two guys were arguing over WHO "Sid Vicious" was. One guy swore he was a musician, while the other swore he wasn't one at all... rather that he was a "wrestler from back in the Macho Man days!"

The guy said he'd bet his friend 20 bucks that Sid Vicious was a wrestler, not a musician and fired up his iPhone. So to save the poor bastard 20 bucks, I stepped in and settled things. I informed 'em that "Sid Vicious" was actually the name of both a wrestler and a musician. Yet the wrestler actually borrowed the name from the musician.

Up until that point, both guys were misinformed and had BOGUS information.

Finished off my Summer Concert Season, last night.

We saw Modest Mouse at the "one size just below an arena" concert hall, last night. They were better than I expected and I give 'em credit for not using their most popular tune ("Float on") as their encore or ending song (the "Rock and Roll All Nite" gimmick). It was just mixed in the middle of their set.

Two weeks ago, we saw the Pretenders with Cat Power and Juliette Lewis at the Denver Botanical Gardens. It was basically like seeing a concert in the middle of a golf course. The bands were covered, but we were huddled under an umbrella in the 99 degree heat. And yeah, I saw an "All-Chick Rock Show". What the hell is happening to me?!! The Pretenders (who should just be called: "Chrissie Hynde") were allright, but Cat Power was less than mediocre. Her stuff bored me. Juliette Lewis seemed to be trying for a Janis Joplin/Beth Hart vibe, yet I think I'd rather hear her music than see her movies again.

Way back in May, we saw Ghostland Observatory at a small venue. I got the tickets free, through Yelp, simply because I had written a nice review about the venue. Ghostland was kinda' like a Daft Punk type of band, with a little bit of Queen mixed in, along with a laser light show worthy of BOC.

I was supposed to see Motorhead with the Reverend Horton Heat and Nashville Pussy at the end of this month. But for some unknown reason, it was cancelled and my tickets were automatically refunded. That blows. So now I'm looking for one balls-out rockin' show before the year is over.

Lunchtime Strip Mall Fun:

Went into one of those "Party America" Halloween costume joints. Damn if looking at the models on the cover of the female costumes didn't excite.

Also walked by an auto parts store. Thought it was silly that they're advertising "Upgrade your headlights with BRIGHTER lamps". That's what we need, more morons driving around and blinding opposing traffic with brighter headlights.

Finally, now that I'm working way the hell on the other side of town-- by a buncha' farms and shit-- I don't think I've ever seen so many old men walking around in camoflauged baseball caps in my life.

So, Main Chickie's abroad for another week or so. In the meantime, I've begun cleaning out the closets in my two extra bedrooms. The plan is to clean out my office room and condense it into the comic book room. Then I'll have all my art supplies, 33 boxes of comics and other creative crap in one room with my computer. Only issue is that I'll need to drill some holes and extend my cable modem's cord.

I have a whole bookcase of old PWI and assorted rasslin' mags. I'll sell 'em for a buck a piece, if you're interested. They're all from roughly 1988 to 1992.

Also have a bunch of Sports Illustrated and Beckett (baseball and football card price guide) magazines. Same deal. The SI's run from about 1997 to 2004, while the Becketts are mostly 1989 to 1992.

Just drop me a PM and I'll give you the details and selection. Give me an idea of what you're looking for (time period, favorite sports, team or player) and I'll whip you up a list.

Don't get me wrong-- this isn't one of those "farewell, comrades" post. But more and more, I'm finding out that it's hard work being a goofball, anymore. I'm not so sure I miss those days, either.

Days when I could waddle in to work and kill time by pursuing even the most random thought in my head, via the Internets. Or stay up 'til 2am watching movies and old cartoons. Like around 2003, when the whole highlight of my week was getting a pizza, staying home on Saturday night and veg'ing out with the TV, PS2 or computer until the wee hours.

With less time to pursue this stuff, nowadays, it makes it all the better when I finally DO get to do it. It's less frequency, but more quality.

I'd be doing that if I could, but my work and fiance require me to be, ugh, productive.

I still veg out with pizza on Saturdays. That's not changing.

I'm putting a moratorium on all things related to the "The Karate Kid". Mr. Miyagi, wax-on/wax-off, Cobra Kai Dojo, Daniel-San.... guess what: all are not fresh nor funny and you're a frickin' tool for referencing this tired, stale, shitpot movie.

If you violate my personal space with a line or reference to this flick, I will not "sweep the leg" or go into a crane pose. I will simply Punch You In the Fucking Face and I guarantee it'll be 569% funnier than your "witty" Karate Kid reference.

You're going to have trouble with that now that the "new" Karate Kid is coming out

Aw hell no. *PUNCH*

I'm hoping that a "new" Karate Kid will do to "Miami Vice" what the shitty 2007 movie of the same name did. That is: nothing, except for the fact it killed any request for a Miami Vice movie.

Good thing you warned me, I had the "wax on, wax off" thing in my head and ready to use in a terrible joke.

So, Saturday night we went to the Rodeo at the National Western Stock Show. They had a special act:

Team GhostRiders

Greatest. Rodeo. Act. Ever.

Why? It's MONKEYS riding dogs, herding goats. All orchestrated by some guy in an Evel Kneivel-like jumpsuit.

Overall, it was a pretty violent rodeo. About 4 or 5 guys got Seriously Fucked Up. They had a "Miss Rodeo" or some shit riding a special horse. The spotlight hit the horse's eyes and he flipped Miss Rodeo into the air. We even got to see a bull gore the barrel the rodeo clown was hiding in.

Went to a Nuggets game, last night. Halftime entertainment was a little league game...that featured NO baskets. I thought they would've provided lower hoops for the little shits, but nope. So about halfway through, I started heckling the kids and saying crap like "Throw an elbow" or "you can't shoot, ya' smurf". That did NOT go over well.

Wow, the opening you just left there was tremendous. I can't type a joke because I'm being flooded with Scrooge oriented "Wax On" jokes.

Learned that there's an entire subculture devoted to stalking baseball players and getting their autograph. Sure, I do it at games... but I like getting one autograph from an actual MLB player. Not getting a stack of 18 autographed cards from a 29 year old Double-A non-prospect backup catcher.

But there's apparently a large group that loves this. From 7 am to 11 pm: You shall not eat. You shall not drink. You shall not poop. To do so would means you might miss a chance to get Kiko Calero's autograph!

And that just cannot be....