I really have no experience with reviewing matches at all. But I'm gonna give it a shot because people are high on this part of the forums. Feedback is greatly appreciated. Depending on how busy or bored I am, these could come at a great pace or be few and far between. I tend to capitalize things that excite me greatly, so if that annoys anybody I'm sorry.

ECW Tag Team Title Match: Cactus Jack and Mikey Whipwreck vs The Public Enemy ("Flyboy" Rocco Rock and Johnny Grunge)
First, a little backstory. The Public Enemy had been fueding with Terry Funk for months over the tag team titles. Funk finally resorted to bringing in Cactus Jack to help him try and win the tag titles. But on this night, Funk couldn't make it to the arena. Todd Gordon decreed that Cactus would get his title shot anyway, with any partner of his choosing. The Public Enemy spent the night beating the crap out of potential partners for Cactus, like the Sandman and Tommy Dreamer. When the time came for the match, Cactus came out and said he had a partner, and went to the back to retrieve him. He had to literally drag out Mikey Whipwreck, who at this point in his ECW career had no wins and maybe two established offensive moves. Cactus is assuring Mikey as the bell rings to start the match. Rocco and Mikey start, and Rocco is motioning to the crowd that the match is over before it even starts. He asks for a mic and tells the crowd to shut up because Grunge can't concentrate. They call him Jailbird, apparently because he spent the night in jail. They go to lock up, but Mikey tries to run away from the ring. Cactus catches him, and talks some sense into him. Mikey is scared, and on another face off, he runs to Cactus and begs him not to make him face Rock. So Cactus tags in. They circle each other, but Mikey takes off. Cactus goes to follow after him, but Public Enemy jumps him from behind and take him to the ring. Rock goes up top, Cactus crotches him, but Grunge cuts him off. They beat down on Cactus for awhile until MIKEY RUNS BACK IN WITH A PIECE OF TABLE AND GOES TO TOWN! The crowd goes nuts! Mikey says BANG BANG! Ha. Huge Mikey chants. Things settle down again, and Rock controls Cactus with some slaps, and then does the Cabbage Patch. Heh. They lock back up, and Rock controls with shoulderblocks in the corner, but when he whips him across and follows, Cactus scores with an elbow. Mikey tags in, and Cactus whips him into Rock, who goes down. Mikey catches Grunge sleeping on the apron, and then drops Rock again. He runs to Cactus cause he doesn't know what to do next, so Cactus lifts him up and uses him as a battering ram on Rock. Somehow, Mikey ends up going over the top instead of Rock, so Cactus of course scores with the CACTUS CLOTHESLINE! In the ring, Mikey scores with two dropkicks and a back drop on Grunge. Cactus puts Rock through a table, and then hits Grunge with a nice neckbreaker on the floor. Cactus goes to town on both guys with a chair, and Mikey actually controls Grunge on the outside. They head inside, and Grunge scores with a low blow and a DDT ON THE CHAIR, and celebrates with the Cabbage Patch. Heh. He doesn't go for the pin, but hits a brutal SHORT ARM CLOTHESLINE, and follows that up with a vertical suplex but Cactus breaks up the pin. Rock tags in and hits a legdrop to the back of the head for 2. Powerslam and a knee drop lead to a pin attempts, but Cactus breaks it up. Grunge back in, and he hits a back body drop and a FACE FIRST PILEDRIVER, but Mikey kicks out! Rock comes in, and the PE gets a double clothesline. They hit a nice side suplex/top rope elbow combo for 2. They get mad, and stomp him out, prompting Cactus to come in and toss both guys to the floor. Rock comes back with a double axehandle from the apron and tosses Cactus into the crowd. They brawl in typical style, using whatever they can find. Mikey and Grunge are fighting in the ring, but I can't see them. Grunge eventually runs into the crowd to help out Rock, and they control Cactus. Rock ends up hitting a cross body OFF A SPEAKER IN THE CROWD! Cool. Mikey is apparently unconscious on the floor during all of this. There he is, laying lifeless in the ring. PE tosses a table into the ring, and they put Cactus on it. Rock scores with a MOONSAULT THROUGH THE TABLE! For some retarded reason, Grunge tosses Cactus out of the ring. They shoulda pinned him. Instead they grab Mikey and go for the Drive By. Grunge hits the Reverse DDT part, but Rock spends too much time doing the Cabbage Patch up top, allowing Cactus enough time to recover and crotch him. Before Grunge can realize what happened, Mikey ROLLS HIM UP FOR THE WIN AND THE TITLES @ 14:02! PE are SHOCKED in the ring as Mikey and Cactus celebrate in the crowd. This wasn't a classic in ring encounter or brawl, but the story this sucker told was great. And funny. Mikey can't do shit, but he beat the most hardcore guys around. PE had beaten Terry and Dory Funk. Think about that.
WINNERS AND NEW CHAMPIONS: Cactus Jack and Mikey Whipwreck

I almost always ask for people to use snowflakes in their reviews, just because it really gives an idea of the general quality of the match, but I really liked this review. You picked a good match to kick things off with too. The team of Foley and Whipwreck was a fun pairing.

Foley and Steamboat?

Sorry, I still had the Joe vs. Punk II show in my head. This may be the first time anyone has ever been thinking of Mikey Whipwreck, but "Steamboat" came out. That might just be the best compliment Whipwreck has even gotten.

HIGH-larious!

I don't use snowflakes for two reasons.

1) Everybody has a different opinion on matches and how they should be rated. For example, everyone and their mother rates the Flair/Steamboat matches from 89 right around five stars. I do too, but I also put Rock vs Hogan at WM8 at that level. I give my opinion on the matches, just not in snowflake form.

2) I have no clue how I would arrange the order of great matches in my head. I also tend to be easily pleased (because I really, really like wrestling in almost all it's forms) and would probably tend to give out a whole shitload of high ratings. This seems to be a no-no in the rating game, so I'll just stay away from it for now. Perhaps as I get used to it I'll flesh out my rating system.

I'm right with ya' on the rating system, Doc. Usually when you rate stuff, you end up with 4 or 5 extraveneous posts babbling about "I can't believe you gave Conquistador #2 vs. Bam Bam Bigelow 2.5 stars. It should be 1.5."

Rating ANYTHING for that matter is just a cheap way to get feedback (see: ANY stupid "top 10 best ever" thread on any sports topic).

I just mention whether I enjoyed a match or not.

From Extreme Warfare
March 18, 1995
ECW Arena in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
The Sandman (w/ Woman) and "Middle Aged and Crazy" Terry Funk vs Cactus Jack and "The Franchise" Shane Douglas
The Sandman and Terry Funk had been palling around a lot during this era, and for some reason they decided to pick on Cactus Jack quite a bit. Cactus wasn't exactly sure as to why, but that didn't matter. He knew he needed help, so he called out to Shane Douglas, for whatever reason. So we get this. They pair off to start, Sandman with Douglas and Foley with Funk. Sandman gets dumped, but charges back in only to get nailed with his own Singapore cane. After a few shots, Funk realizes what's happening and comes to help, but eats a few shots himself. Funk bails and Cactus comes in in the same spot, so Douglas turns around and nails Cactus with the cane. Cactus gets mad and shoves Douglas, who seemingly apologizes and backs out of the ring. Cactus doesn't seem to want to let it go, but Funk throws a chair at him, getting his attention. Cactus goes after Funk, but Sandman grabs the chair and wallops Cactus from behind with it. Cactus comes back and steals the chair and goes to town on both guys with it, but Funk eventually no sells a chairshot and Cactus gets doubleteamed. Sandman whips Cactus into a HARD Funk chairshot, but Douglas makes the save and clears the ring with the Singapore cane. Cactus scores with the CACTUS CLOTHESLINE to get Funk to the outside, and then jumps back in and gives one to the Sandman. Douglas tosses Funk back in, and he gets another CACTUS CLOTHESLINE! Douglas throws Sandman back in, and HE GETS ANOTHER ONE! Cute spot. Douglas puts Funk in a chair on the outside and gets clotheslined out of it, allowing Cactus to hit a TOP ROPE ELBOW TO THE FLOOR! Funk should be dead. Douglas tosses Sandman into the crowd, and then whips Cactus into a TOPE CON HILO OVER THE BARRICADE INTO THE CROWD! WOW! Douglas and Cactus go after Funk in the ring, even scoring with a back suplex/leg drop combo on Funk. Sandman breaks up the pin and Funk scores with a quick DDT on Douglas. They toss Cactus to the floor and doubleteam him with a chair. Cactus tries to come back, but he's put down. Sandman reenters the ring and puts Douglas down with another DDT, and then goes out to help Funk remove a piece of the guardrail. This can't be good. They toss it in the ring and DROP IT ON DOUGLAS! Ow. One more time! Cactus tries to come help, but Funk kicks him in the head, so Cactus just starts heaving chairs into the ring. They all miss, but Funk fires one bck and Cactus goes down hard. Sandman, meanwhile, whips Douglas into the railing in the ring, and he bumps like a pinball for it. They keep Cactus on the outside still, and Funk crotches Douglas on the railing. Sandman clotheslines him off it, and goes back after Cactus. Funk goes all nuts and takes a chair to the knee of Douglas for about a minute and a half. Cactus is on the apron and Sandman goes for a shoulderblock, but Cactus moves and Sandman SPLATTERS ON THE GROUND! Cactus finally gets in the ring to save Douglas as Funk is going for the Spinning Toehold. Nice timing. Funk and Foley brawl into the crowd, and Sandman goes after Douglas again. Everyone just brawls everywhere for awhile. Somewhere in there, Funk nails Foley with a DDT on the floor, and goes under the ring to find a toolbox. In a hilarious spot, he tries to use the toolbox, not realizing he had already opened it, and the tools fall all over his head. Ha! I can't see Douglas now, but Funk is out and somehow Cactus has control of Sandman until he gets hit with a BACKDROP SUPLEX ON THE CONCRETE! Ouch. Cactus regains control in the ring though, and scores with a legdrop ON A CHAIR ON SANDMANS FACE! Cactus celebrates, giving Sandman the chance to fight back and hit a DDT ON THE CHAIR! He then one ups Cactus and drops a leg on the chair on the face FROM THE TOP ROPE! Sandman goes for the cover, but Douglas sprints to the ring and makes the save at 2. Sandman bails, so Douglas follows it up with a pescado! Don't see that from him a lot. Around now is when Funk, that fucking idiot, saunters to the ring with a FLAMING BRANDING IRON, and Cactus, the EVEN BIGGER IDIOT, gets MAULED with it. Jesus. That's a piece of metal lit on fire. Douglas comes in and destoys Sandman with the Singapore cane for the 3rd time this match, but doesn't seem concerned enough to stop Funk from maiming his partner. This allows Funk to score with a PILEDRIVER ONTO THE FLAMING BRANDING IRON, effectively killing Cactus Jack. This one is over @ 12:54. Douglas seems to not care that Cactus is dead or that the match is over, and he just continues to beat his opponents with the cane. Douglas actually finally checks on Cactus and calls for help. Of course we would find out later that it was all a show and that he really didn't give a damn about Cactus. Because in ECW, Shane Douglas has absolutely no soul. Whatsoever. This was your usual insane ECW main event. Like the Mikey/Cactus vs PE match, not an all time classic or anything, but a good story told and Mick Foley maiming himself for the art is crazy to watch.
WINNERS: The Sandman and "Middle Aged and Crazy" Terry Funk

Any chance that you'll keep doing these? Your reviews are great.