Wrestling Society X - January 30th, 2007
- What an awful name for a wrestling show. Really, WRESTLING SOCIETY X? That name has no chance of getting over. Already today, I confused the name of the show, despite being informed what it's titled several times. It's just so fucking STUPID. What does Wrestling Society X mean, anyway? Is that like the Dead Poets Society, or some secret initiation to a fraternity? Way to go whoever the fuck runs the "company", you already managed to make a mockery of yourself before airing Episode 1:The Phantom Spots.
This crap was taped quite a while ago, possibly 8-months at least, and judging from the reports, this 30-minutes is going to be torture to sit through. It also breaks my near-3 year stretch of refusing to watch MTV programming. Because it sucks. This is also a HEAD TO HEAD recap to go against someone elses' crap review of ECW. Of course, this show sucks even more, and would like to express my hatred for whoever came up with the idea, the producers of the show, the producers of MTV, and everyone with the low-level mentality of watching this.
If you're still around after that, it's time for the show and for me to jam a screwdriver into my jugular. It's either that, or hang myself with my shoe-laces, but I only waer sandles.
- The opening doesn't give me much hope, as we see some fucking morons performing on stage... okay, so a WRESTLING SHOW, in it's debut episode, is lead in by crappy music performances. Yeah. This is going to last longer than 5 minutes. It's not Wrestle fucking Mania, it's some crappy 5th rate shit show on MTV that won't last longer than 4 episodes.
- The "broadcasters" are Criss Cross... I'm sorry, Criss CLOSS, and some other douche clown with no personality other than "MTV Host with No Talent". These two morons look like they just came off the TRL streets and have zero knowledge of wrestling, and judging from the way they react, they've never seen wrestling before in their lives.
1. Matt Sydal (w/ Some Random Chick Dressed To Conservatively for MTV and Wrestling) vs. Jack Evans:
Some loud mouth moron introduces people... this guy needs to fucking shut up or die, because he's fucking annoying. Canned heat is SO obvious. Kill me God, kill me. I SWEAR, I'D RATHER TAKE DEATH OVER THIS SHOW! Sydal with a dropkick, then Evans is thrown out of the ring trying a head scissors. Sydal with a twisting pescado, called "up and over!" by the moron PBP guy. In the ring, and Sydal is sent into the corner. Evans with a springboard elbow, but he jumps into a spinning heel kick for a two count for Sydal. Sydal with a modified version of the Gory Special. Evans escapes and unloads a series of kicks, sending Sydal out of the ring. Hand-spring pescado by Evans. In the ring again, and I'm REALLY annoyed by the terrible camera work. Sydal with a pump-handle Michinoku Driver for a two count. Standing moonsault for a two count. BLATANT interference from Sydal's chick, and this is just a fiucking mess. Evans jumps off her back for a Tornado DDT, called properly, amazingly. Evans with an 630 splash for the three count at 3:23. Fucking pathetic. Spot fests like this are a disgrace to wrestling, and on top of that, overly produced camera work ruins the fact wrestling isn't supposed to be presented like a B-rate hollywood production. No stars, because this shit doesn't even deserve them.
- I should note, when these guys say "WSX", it sounds like "W Sucks Dicks", which isn't too far from the truth.
- "Previews" of Tag Teams that will be coming to WSX... as if the show is going to last longer than a week. No names are mentioned verbally, so unless you were actually looking at the mess of clips that are randomly thrown together, you wouldn't know who they'll be using. Then we get a commercial break that literally lasts five minutes... on a show with only a 30-minute time slot.
- Justin Credible cuts a promo. This guy sucks.
- New Jack and "Hamrick" are backstage. They suck.
- Teddy Hart cuts a 5 second promo.
- Kaos and the guy that was Carlito's Bodyguard for a week cut a 2 second promo. They suck too.
WSX Rumble Rules: 2 men start (no duh), a new wrestler comes in every 45 seconds (thus killing the purpose of the Rumble, by telling a long-term story), and stuff happens and you're eliminated. For whatever reason, a ROYAL RUMBLE MATCH has tables ladders, and explosive stunt sets made up. This crap is a real insult to wrestling and it's fans.
- Crappy Rumble Match:
Justin Credible is #1, the only time he'll ever be listed as that, except maybe ranking the worst ECW Champions, and it lists him as a former WWF Champion. False advertisement, says I. Teddy Hart is #2. Hart throws a bottle of waer at him, and the terrible camera work is trying my nerves. Irish whip is reversed, and Hart with a springboard moonsault (or an inside the ring Asai). #3 is Kaos, former XPW TV Champion. He gets double teamed... in bed. (hits mute button) I can't stand this fucking shit ANYMORE! Hart with a sick looking DDT on Kaos. Hart heads to the top for a shooting star press while Credible holds Kaos across his knee. Vampiro is #4, also listing him as "WCW Champion." At least list WHICH title, instead of pretending he held the World Title. Vampiro with a heel kick to Kaos and a Rock Bottom to Teddy.
COMMERCIAL BREAK! (My God, is this shit awful)
We come back, and we see highlights of Puma enterint and going out via a chokerslam through a table. Two no names came to the ring, too. Syxx-Pac is next... and it lists him as 6-Time WWF and WCW Champion. Um... IT'S WWE YOU FUCKING RETARDS! They changed their name like, 5 YEARS ago, you cock sucking idiots! Bronco Buster for the closet homos. Chirs Hamrick comes out, the New Jack, but not before the screen freezes to show their bios! Way to go with killing the suspention of disbelief and this being "live." Jack tosses white man over and knocks him off through timely placed tables. New JAck follows out then tosses a referee into the ring. PLANT! KABONG! I never tire of that spot, at least. Kaos is knocked off the apron and into "electrical circuits" that are obviously staged... and New Jack comes off a stage onto Hamrick throug a table with an elbow. What a fucking mess. "Youth Suicide" is making his "professional debut", and looks like my gay uncle. Teddy Hart is gone, through a table as expected. Loser Man brings thumbtacks into the ring, and a pair of tables. What a stupid match this is. No, this doesn't look choreographed at all. No siree, Bob. Oh wait, the "ladders" are needed to get CONTRACTS, despite everyone being employed by the fucking company. You know how I know it's contracts? They are conveniently marked "Contracts" in big black print.
Oh wait, we finally find out NOW that the 2 "winners" fight for a title shot, despite there being no champions yet. Fuck it, no one explains dick to me, and I don't care enough to figure it out myself. The Rookie is killed, thank God. Won't be stinking up another ring, at least. Justin Tolerable does his best Shawn Michaels imitation... climbing a ladder. He's not blowing X-Pac/Syxx-Pac/Whatver in the corner. Vampiro gets a contract, as does Syxx-Pac (labeled 6-Pac on graphics), and they both will fight for the title NEXT WEEK, a show I will not be watching.
Final Thoughts:
... Do I need to fucking say anything here?! This was the biggest pile of horse shit in the history of wrestling. I would take the worst episodes of Raw, Smackdown, ECW, TNA, MLW, AWA in a Pink Room, Heroes of Wrestling, Puerto Rican IWA, UWF, WCW Thunder, Pro, Nitro, watch them all consecutively without a break, and then stab myself in the balls with a eye-brow plucker, than watch this fucking mess again. This fucking turd of a "Wrestling" show makes me feel sorry for being a wrestling fan. If I had to choose between watching this and death, I'd choose the latter without consideration. I'D CHOOSE DEATH OVER THIS! DEATH!
Awful. Just fucking awful. I'm sorry for anything bad I ever said about TNA's booking. This makes TNA look like the greatest fucking company on earth. This makes the Great Khali look competant. This makes ECW look like the real ECW. Awful. Awful, awful, awful.
In the words of Gorilla Monsoon: "ho! I love it!"
:lol: Oh, Scrooge, this review did not disappoint in the slightest. Sorry you got shafted tonight, maybe next week will be my turn with the torture.
You go to hell, Rowe! You were the one that talked me into reviewing this nonsense!
:lol: Only because I knew the review would provide me with enough amusement to last the week.
I am forever mentally scarred from this. Thanks Rowe, now I know who to haunt in the after-life.
It wasn't that bad. Evans/Sydal was a pretty entertaining 5 minute spotfest and the main event was "car crash" fun to watch. Everyone knew going in that this wasn't going to be "good" per say wrestling wise, and if you were expecting some *** matches from this promotion going in you are obviously a moron. I will agree the announcers were terrible though.
The announcers made me miss Tenay & West. And that's saying A LOT.
The announcers made me want Randy Rosenbloom and Dutch Mantell.
Bad news, Scrooge, I have to work on Tuesday, so no Wrestling Society X for me :D
It comes on Friday nights as well. It's a "preview"