Okay, everyone has seen shitty movies. Usually at home, via the multiple levels of hell known as "cable", "satellite", or "TBS". Lately, I've been thinking about shitty movies that I actually paid money for, to see in the theatres.

To clarify, these would have to be first-run movies. No midnight dollar camp fests or Rocky Horror screenings. Discount theatres don't count, either. We're talking about the type of movies you paid full price (or student or matinee prices if you're cheap) to see...and the resulting stink that occurred.

I'll probably add to this list, but right now, my Shitty-At-The-Theatre list would be:

Shallow Hal (2001)
Just...wasn't funny. Very uncreative and the overall premise was Really Fucking Stupid.

Cannonball Run II (1984)
Didn't need a sequel and all the characters "teamed up", like the SuperFriends.

Lunchwagon (1981)
A low-rent pseudo porn that my dad took us to see. Big Bro and I had a half-day from school and Dad had a rare off-day. So he took us to see this. I was probably 7, Big Bro was 13. It wasn't at a porn house...it was released in regular theatres.

Virus (1998)
We knew going in that it was bad.. casting Billy Baldwin usually guarantes that... but this was leftover patsafazu bad.

Burglar (1986)
Incredibly UN-funny Whoopi Goldberg vehicle. Entire movie is a lame mystery plot, and it's not until the final 30 seconds that you laugh (at Bobcat Goldthwait braining some guy with a trash can lid). Best bud J and I bought tickets to the PG "Hoosiers", but snuck into this R-rated movie, instead. When it was over, we wished we had stuck with "Hoosiers".

Lawnmower Man (1992)
One of those "dude, let's go see a movie" high school weekend events. Terrible movie that revolves around some "genius" using SegaScope 3-D to mess with some retard. Pure crap. Suposedly sexy, but actually retarded flirtatious line of the movie: "I look forward to getting my lawn mowed".

Pearl Harbor

I don't know if it is my sixth sense, but I've never hated a movie I've seen in theaters. I guess I'm picky and selective enough that I've never felt ripped off.

Shallow Hal, worst movie you paid to see?! Come on... it was highly entertaining and had deep undertones to normal society.

OK, that's bullshit, but it did have an actual plot. And Jason Alexander was in it.

I've never been as pissed as when I went to see "Dude, Wheres My Car".

But strangely, over time, I've grown to like it when I catch it on TV or HBO or some shit.

I think it had alot to do with having high hopes when I went to it. Cause it was just fucking horrible and not funny.

It was funny... for about 5-seconds. It's just mind boggling stupid. The person who wrote the script had to be on some mind altering drugs.

Forgot that I paid to see Dungeons & Dragon (2000) in a theatre. Again, J and I went in, knowing it would suck. I couldn't get over the EVIL guy who had his hair perfectly parted, a la Gil Gerard as Buck Rogers in 1979.

I'm beginning to think that Shallow Hal takes home the trophy. It seemed like it would be funny...but it was the same fucking gag that we saw in the previews. The moral, which was swiped from a He-Man end-of-show PSA, was beaten down everyone's throats. Then pulled out of everyone's ass, wadded up and stuffed down everyone's throats AGAIN.

Plus, we knew Jack Black as "Jeepers Creepers: Semi-star". This was his first starring role and it could have been anybody in it. A total waste.

The Mask 2



That's pretty much the end of the thread, right?

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Ew. I guess it could be worse... how about Dumb & Dumberer?

Not neccessarily trying to top each other.. just a listing of shitty movies that each person has seen.

Shallow Hal takes my trophy (and I saw Jaws 4 in the theatres at full price). But Mask 2 may do it for you. It's like the Special Olympics..everyone gets a trophy!

(hands ES two awards for paying to see Jaws the Revenge as well)

What can I say, I'm a man. I make everything into a contest.


ANybody else seen The Mask 2? I've heard Dumber and Dumber-er had funny moments. IF that is true it is way better than The Mask 2.