As I mentioned before, I had a bunch of these damn things typed up before, but was never able to post them. So instead of clogging up the folder with a shitload of crappy recaps, I'll just post the ones I already did here, then start fresh from whenever I can.


Since you can tell by my tone of typing for most of these shows, I will not be adding on my Final Thoughts, as I usually do. Besides, it's the same anyway, for PTW.




WWF PrimeTime Wrestling - 10/14/86


- Your hosts are, as usual, Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan. Gorilla informs us that all of the matches on this program will be coming from a card held at the Maple Leaf Gardens in Toronto, Ontario, Canada on September 28th, 1986. I guess we can expect a couple of Moondog matches and maybe one match worth a damn, since they butcher all of the good matches out of those shows for PrimeTime and air all the undercard junk.


1. Barry O vs. Frankie Lane:
Damn, now I'm wishing there was a Moondog involved. I don't even know who's supposed to be the heel or the face. I've never heard of Frankie Lane, and Barry O was about as low on the Jobber food chain as you could get... and I think he's the cousin of Bob Orton Jr., or at least somehow related. Barry O has some tights that would no doubt inspire some of Marty Jannetty's goofy tights from 1992-93, and Lane has the discount jobber stuff on. Yes, I'm more interested in the fashion of the wrestlers instead of the garbage they're doing in the ring. Lots of basic wrestling holds traded, with no one getting any kind of clear advantage. The finish comes with Barry O catching Lane off the ropes with a side suplex for the three count at 5:58. This might be the only time I've ever seen Barry O win a match, no matter who his opponent was. I guess I should be glad that they kept this one short, but this also means some other matches are going to be mind-numbingly long and boring... please God, don't let any of them include Jose Luis Rivera, a Moondog, or Mr. X. PLEASE!


- Gorilla Monsoon kind of insults Barry O, saying this might be Barry's first win on PrimeTime Wrestling, and if his claim to fame is going to be a victory over Frankie Lane, I'm sure everyone else can fill in the pieces... as long as it's nothing dirty. This is 1986, remember.


2. Sivi Afi vs. Iron Mike Sharpe:
Before we get to the ring, Bobby Heenan calls Sivi Afi "Alfalfa." Iron Mike Sharpe is sure to remind us he is Canada's Greatest Athlete... or more likely, Canada's Slowest Healing Citizen. Even Bob Orton' arm healed up within a 15 year period. Sivi Afi is nothing more than a (very) poor Jimmy Snuka clone, and the fans weren't dumb enough to fall for it. I guess no one learned this when they tried to create new Diesel and Razor Ramon nearly a decade later, and expect fans to get into it. Correction on Sharpe: he's Canada's Loudest Athlete. The fucking guy screams after everything, and must've been the inspiration of Lex Luger when it comes to selling. Correction on Sharpe again: He's Canada's Worst Athlete. I can't think of one match of his that was any good, and he was around the WWF for well over a decade, working live event cards and getting squashed on the weekends over and over. The ol' fast forward button gets reaquainted with my indez fingers until I get to the finish... the match just never fucking ends, and at the 8-minute mark, we go to a commercial break! FINALLY, the bell rings at 15:53, which makes it a Time Limit Draw... yes, Sivi Afi vs. Iron Mike Sharpe got 16-minutes, and neither guy was allowed to go over. That's low on so many levels. At least give one of them the "winner's purse" for once.


- Bobby Heenan recieves a special package at the studio desk. The shipping charge is $2.90, and he gives the man $3, and tells him to keep the change. At least this was more realistic than WrestleMania IV, where Heenan gave the delivery guy an actual tip.


- Ken Resnick with a special Interview from... The Honkytonk Man, back when he was a babyface! This is certainly a rarity. It's just so unusual to see the Honkytonk Man talk like a babyface. No wonder he didn't get over until he turned heel and started to be a major delusional dickhead. He insults Bobby Heenan, which is a sure sign that he's working as a babyface. Worst, Honky Interview, Ever.


3. Jose-Luis Rivera vs. Mr. X:
Oh God, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I guess I should be thankful they're wasting these two guys with one match, and it's Joined in Progress to boot. The last time I said that, a JIP match with Mr. X lasted nearly 10-minutes, so I don't know how the editing of this match is, but with Mr. X in control, I can assume it's more than 30% over. I'm assuming that since the usual match has a babyface dominate for a couple of minutes, the heel cheat for 5-6, then the face makes the big comeback en route to the finish. Another match deserving of this special button on my remote... and I skip right over the finish, which sees Rivera coming off the top rope with a missile dropkick for the three count at 3:03. Rivera wins a match! Rivera wins a match! Rivera wins a match!


4. Jerry Allen vs. Tiger Chung Lee:
What the fuck is with all these Battles of the JTTS Crew? Chung Lee got a push for about a week in 1984 before he made everyone realize how much he sucked, and Jerry Allen was the Jim Powers of these days. He'd get matches on most live event cards, but was still squashed like a bug on most weekend syndicated broadcasts. Another match that's Joined in Progress. And the crowd is boo'ing already. Tiger dominates for most of the match, but as he attempts to slam Allen back into the ring, Allen cradles him, and that's good enough for the surprise three count at 4:46. It's times like these that I'm thankful for some of the stuff done in 1995. At least you didn't see scum like this on house shows anymore.


5. Paul Roma vs. Terry Gibbs:
Heenan compares Paul Roma to a half-a-bar of soap (with a detailed explanation), and I notice that the package Bobby Heenan recieved earlier in the broadcast is shaking, as if there's something inside of it (please don't let it be a Weasel pun at the end). Yes, Paul Roma was actually around back then too, but this was before the formation of the Young Stallions, and before he got any kind of push on television. He was basically just another scrub, you could say. Roma controls with what appears to be a 4-minute long headlock. Have I ever mentioned it's not a surprise most current fans can't get into this stuff, because of how badly it aged? Oh, while I was making that comment, and after a series of two counts, Paul Roma rolled up Terry Gibbs for the three count at 9:08, after Gibbs attempted to cheat by pulling on the tights. That's three in a row that a babyface scrub has won a match... against a fellow scrub, except one that's a heel.


- Ken Resnick with another Special Interview... The Wizard (a.k.a King Iaukea or whatever his name was), a.k.a the most annoying, loudest moron in the history of promo cutting. He's the controller of Kamala and Sika, one of the most unusual tag teams of the time, other than Greg Valentine and Brutus Beefcake. There's more to come later in the show!


6. Mike Rotundo vs. The Iron Sheik (w/ Nikolai Volkoff & Slick):
I hate the Iron Sheik, but at least this match features two guys that are "names", even if Rotundo was a bit lower on the card ever since Barry Windham ditched in the latter part of 1985 and was forced to tag up with Danny Spivey. Poor bastard. No wonder he went on to become an evil tax man. Sheik still does his "hawk-ptooh", except he replaces "USA" with "Canada." Rotundo brings an american flag to ringside... in Canada, and still gets a face reaction. Sheik nails him with his flag pole before the bell, and it takes Volkoff a few years to get down to the ringside area. Rotundo does his best to have an exciting match before going into a front facelock, and from there, it's all Sheik. He applies the Camel Clutch, but Rotundo manages to make it to the ropes. Rotundo mounts the big comeback, but Volkoff comes in behind the refere's back to nail Rotundo... but it only gets a two count?! This time the heel cheating tactics doesn't work when it comes into play, as Rotundo covers Shiek for the three count at 7:16 following a cane shot by Slick. Rotundo wins! Rotundo wins! Rotundo wins! Shiek and Volkoff argue before laying a beat down on Rotundo.


- Bobby Heenan is still trying to open his box, but seems to be having a little problem with the cardboard aspect of it.


7. Pedro Morales vs. Hercules Hernandez (w/ Slick):
Blech... this match is going to suck. Thank God it's Joined in Progress, because in its entirety, it would be even worse (if that's humanly possible). Hercules still goes by his full name, still has an afro, and is still managed by Slick (the first time). I never understood why Pedro Morales kept hanging around, despite being on the losing end of matches against someone higher on the card than "Jobber" status. You'd think a former Champion of All Titles™ would be used a bit more prominantly than that. Hercules ends up winning with a suplex at 3:40... despite the three count not being made, and Morales having his foot on the bottom rope. Man, this referee fucking sucked. Oh wait, the three WAS made, but his hand didn't even make a noise against the canvas. Still, this referee fucking sucked.


- Heenan has the package ripped to shreds, and complains about having a paper cut. Gorilla Monsoon produces a pair of scissors from his jacket, and offers them to Heenan as long as he opens the box. Funny guy.


8. WWF Intercontinental Title: "Macho Man" Randy Savage © (w/ Elizabeth) vs. George "The Animal" Steele:
The run of torturously bad matches... continues, because Steele, like most of the people featured on this show, has never had a good match that I can remember seeing. At this point, Savage and Steele must've wrestled 100 times in 1986, and yup, all of those matches sucked too, despite Savage being in the peak of his career around this point. Wrap your head around that one for a while. As usual, Elizabeth is looking really hot here. It must be the sparkling dresses or poofy 80's hair... or her legs. Savage nails Steele from behind to start while Steele is distracted by Elizabeth (and rightfully so), but that offense outburst doesn't last too long. If you've seen one match between these two, you've seen 'em all... and just as fast as it started, it ends, with Steele being Disqualified at 4:33 for nailing the referee, no doubt frustrated by his one-sided officiating. I guess Savage is smarter than everyone thought... he out-smarted George Steele! After the match, Steele continues beating on Savage, and throws him back into the ring, only for Savage to run back out.


- Bobby Heenan FINALLY produces what was in the box sent to him by LJN Figures... well, his assitant sent him a box of LJN Figures, that is, but not before he's taken the time to remove his coat and get himself something to drink. He's exhausted, you see... and the LJN dolls are finally revealed: Hillbilly Jim, Hulk Hogan, Andre The Giant, Greg Valentine, Brutus Beefcake, Paul Orndorff, a GIANT Hulk Hogan doll, and FINALLY, a special note... all the Bobby Heenan dolls are sold out. NOOOOOOOOOOO! Monsoon is having a ball the whole time, as the pile of crumpled newspapers grows higher and higher on the studio desk until you can barely see him.

WWF PrimeTime Wrestling - 2/16/87


- The hosts of PrimeTime are, as usual, Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan. The set is "decorated" with LJN figures of Hulk Hogan, Andre The Giant, and Heenan. Speaking of Heenan, he's wearing a very sparkly coat. The big news of the week in the WWF: Andre The Giant challenging Hulk Hogan to a World Title Match at WrestleMania III. We're informed this weeks feature will be Billy Jack "Jerk" Haynes vs. Hercules. All matches featured on this episode are from the Boston Garden, originally held on February 7th, 1987, unless otherwise noted.


1. Pete Doherty vs. King Kong Bundy:
Gorilla Monsoon and Ken Resnick (who?) are on commentary for all matches held at the Boston Garden. I'm guessing that Doherty is playing the face, since he's from Dorchester, Mass., and is nicknamed "The Duke of Dorchester." I don't think I see Bobby Heenan at ringside, despite the fact he's in the building for another match later in the card. Bundy pretty much squashes Doherty, but pulls him up at the count of two several times. Doherty, sensing an opprotunity, nails him with a padded steel chair, drawing a Disqualification at 3:00. Yup, they actually protected Pete Doherty in a match against King Kong Bundy. Now I've seen everything, other than a Panda Bear riding a tricycle, and an authentic Native American.


2. "Special Delivery" Jones vs. Dino Bravo (w/ Johnny Valiant):
This is pretty early in Dino Bravo's run in the WWF. You can tell because he not only is wearing tights with the Canadian flag, but he hasn't bleached his hair yet. Add to the fact he's wearing dull green color boots, and you're starting to think how wasted he was when he got dressed to wrestle. Before the match, Johnny V. talks smack to Jones, triggering a couple of soup-bone rights, and a Bravo sneak attack in the corner. Pretty much an extended squash match for Bravo, but Jones does get in his "Token" offense. The finish sees Jones missisng a charge into the corner, posting himself, and Bravo capitalizing with the side suplex for a three count at 7:30.


- Gorilla Monsoon and Ken Resnick interview Slick, courtesy of NESN (New England Sports Network, home of the Boston sports teams, and this broadcast of Boston Garden). Every time he tries to say something, Monsoon interrupts him with contradictions or corrections. What an annoying jackass.


- Courtesy of SuperStars of Wrestling, it's Piper's Pit with SPECIAL GUEST Hulk Hogan. We're reminded of all the events to transpire over the last few weeks, including Hogan being presented a trophy for his 3-years as WWF Champion, Andre the Giant being undefeated for 15 years, and the inevitable challenge by Andre last week, where we're informed that Andre is now being managed by Bobby Heenan. After a little tap-dancing, Piper demands an answer... Hulk Hogan: YES!!! And there you have it, the WrestleMania III Main Event.


3. Tito Santana vs. Terry Gibbs:
From SuperStars of Wrestling, with Vince McMahon, Jesse Ventura, and Bruno Sammartino. Before we get to ringside, Jack Tunney is ready to make a special announcement, until Danny Davis runs by, and down to ringside. He and the referee scheduled argue, resulting in Davis nailing him. Jack Tunney follows him out and suspends Danny Davis for LIFE, over the public address system. Now that's cold! Anyway, onto the match. Santana nails the flying Jalupeño for the three count at the 19-second mark. After the match, Jimmy Hart and Danny Davis cut a promo, with Hart announcing Davis is the newest member of the Hart Foundation.


4. Koko B. Ware vs. The Red Demon:
Back to Boston Garden. The Demon is your average "masked Jobber with an ugly mask." I have no idea who it is, but it could be anyone Jose-Luis Rivera for all I know (a.k.a one of the Conquistadors, and possibly a Shadow). Much too long, but since Koko was near the bottom of the babyface food-chain, he's not allowed to wipe the floor with anyone. After a lot of nothing, Ware mounts his comeback and finishes Demon off with a missile dropkick at 9:54. Almost 10-minutes of wasted air time. No wonder no one talks about how good PrimeTime Wrestling was back in the day, when it comes to match quality.


5. Islander Tama vs. Frenchy Martin (w/ Slick):
Now this is certainly an unusual match. Yes, Frenchy Martin was around before becoming the manager of Dino Bravo, and yes, he was actually a wrestler. What I didn't know is that he was managed by Slick. I guess it was a very short instance, since I don't remember ever seeing Frenchy Martin on the weekend shows as a wrestler. This match is Joined in Progress, with Tama on the ground in pain, outside of the ring. Not much better than the previous match, but at least it's cut in half. After a few minutes of Frenchy in control, Tama resorts to crawling under the ring, emerging from the other side, and comes off the top rope with a cross body press for the three count at 3:52. I don't get why anyone would need to pull that trick, as a babyface, against a scrub heel.


- Back at the "PrimeTime Studio", Heenan has rearranged the figures in a position that has Andre pinning Hogan. When we come back from the commercial break, Monsoon reassembles them with Hogan on top of Andre, who's lying on top of Heenan. Monsoon then reminds Heenan of what happend at WrestleMania 2.


6. Islander Haku vs. Terry Gibbs:
What the... what's with there being another Terry Gibbs match? I guess the one with Santana was only shown because of the importance of the on-going Danny Davis situation. Another paint-by-numbers undercard match, and Haku as a babyface is somehow even worse than heel Haku, since he doesn't do ANYTHING to stand out. At least as a heel, he would cheat, then grunt a lot after doing every move. Haku ends up winning following a second-rope headbutt at 4:28.


- In another interview swiped from the NESN broadcast, Gorilla Monsoon is with Ricky Steamboat, who's a little bit pissed off at Randy Savage for trying to end his career. But tonight, he has bigger and fatter fish to fry.


7. Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat vs. Sika:
I think we finally found an opponent that even Ricky Steamboat couldn't carry to a good match other than Kamala, who happend to be Sika's on-again-off-again partner around this time, so it all seems like a sick, twisted, coincidence. The match is literally nothing more than a bunch of chops being exchanged from both men. Sika takes control, but it doesn't last, as he misses a charge into the corner, and Steamboat rolls him up for the quick victory at 4:05. Wait... didn't we just see that finish earlier in the show, except with Dino Bravo and an undercard Jobber? Talk about recycled finishes. I guess I should be thankful they let Steamboat win, though. I could think of much worse finishes to go with, all including him jobbing to Sika.


8. The Can-Am Connection (Rick Martel & Tom Zenk) vs. Tiger Chung Lee & The Gladiator:
Stolen from the recent episode of SuperStars of Wrestling. For information on the Gladiator, see my explanation on the Red Demon. The Can-Am's were pretty new to the WWF, but for whatever reasons, Tom Zenk didn't hang around for too long, and was eventually replaced by Tito Santana to team with Martel, forming Strike Force, and going on to win the Tag Titles later in 1987. Half-way through the match, we get an inset promo from the Magnificent Muraco and Bob Orton Jr., setting up their match at WrestleMania III. The Can-Am's win with a Zenk powerslam, followed by a Martel sling-shot splash at 3:17. I could think of worse moves to use as a double-team finisher.


9. Billy Jack Haynes vs. Hercules (w/ Bobby Heenan):
Pretty weird to give away a match on regular television that ended up being one of the more hyped midcard matches at WrestleMania III. For no apparent reason, other to interfere later in the show, Bobby Heenan introduces Paul Orndorff, who snubs Billy Jack Haynes, just because he can. Speaking of Orndorff, I've always wondered why he had no angle set up for WrestleMania III, other than the often reported rumors of being a replacement for Andre the Giant, just in case Andre couldn't go (or wouldn't do the job, but that seems insane, since he was the most professional guy in the company). The usual match you would expect out of these two... not very good, and extra boring. At least the focus of the match isn't about who the master of the Full Nelson is. As predicted, Haynes has the match won with a Full Nelson, but Orndorff runs in behind the referees back, clobbers Haynes from behind, and Hercules makes the cover for a three count ay 9:53. That was a bit of a surprise to me, since Haynes was one of the more high profile faces not named Hulk Hogan or Ricky Steamboat, and it was rare to see him take a pinfall loss.

No star ratings again? What's going on!

All kidding aside, interesting review, with a lot of matches that I praise you for sitting through.

I've given up the snowflake system, unless a match is real mind blowing good... and in PTW's case, that RARELY will happen.

WWF PrimeTime Wrestling - 2/23/87


- The hosts of PrimeTime Wrestling are the familiar faces of Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan. The hot topic of the day is Hulk Hogan accepting the challenge of Andre the Giant on last weeks episode of SuperStars. Heenan isn't happy until there's a written contract, because he doesn't trust Hulk Hogan. This weeks PrimeTime is one of those "throw together a bunch of matches no matter when they happend" Version.


1. George "The Animal" Steele vs. Kamala (w/ The Wizard & KimChee):
From the November 16th, 1986 event held at the Maple Leaf Gardens in Toronto, Ontario, Canada, with Gorilla Monsoon and Lucious Johnny Valiant on commentary. I think we might have a contender here for Worst Match in the History of Wrestling. I just pray this one is kept short enough that the lingering effects of a suicide attempt don't last too long. Both men stand around, doing nothing for a few minutes, which makes the match about 500 times better than I originally thought. For no reason, Steele goes after KimChee, allowing Kamala to nail him in the throat with a foreign object, then comes off the top rope for his big splash, and that's good enough for the three count at 4:29. For the record, that was the entire match, outside of a few teased lockups. I guess the match wasn't the worst in history. After the match, Kamala splashes Steele again, just for the hell of it.


2. Jose-Luis Rivera vs. Terry Gibbs:
Another match from the Maple Leaf Gardens with Gorilla and Valiant on commentary, but this one came from the card held on January 11th, 1987. Another match that's shown in full, so I'm a bit laid back in bothering paying attention to this match. With nothing interesting to mention about either guy (no feuds, no push, and both being scrubs), it's just a boring 5-10 minutes whenever they have to wrestle each other. Formulatic match: Rivera controls the opening minutes, Gibbs takes over for the middle 3-4 minutes, then it's time for Rivera's "big" comeback. The crowd is, as expected, dead for this match. Both men exchange near falls until Rivera sunset flips Gibbs after missing a charge into the corner for the three count at 7:58. That brings Rivera's record to 2-596, and Gibbs to 0-963, if my math is correct, and we all know it isn't.


- Courtesy of Wrestling Challenge, it's The Snake Pit, with your host Jake "the Snake" Roberts. This weeks special guests are Jimmy Hart and the Honkytonk Man. Roberts mocks Honky's singing abilities, and scares him off the set with Damien, which prompts HTM to sneak up from behind the set and BLAST Roberts with his guitar (non-gimmicked). Then for added measure (or unsure why it didn't explode), Honky nails him a few more times, and it still doesn't break. Welcome to your addiction to pain killers Roberts, thanks to this incident, and welcome, officially, to your babyface run in the WWF.


- WrestleMania III Report with Gene Okerlund! WrestleMania will be at the Pontiac Silverdome on March 29th, 1987. Special celebrity guests will be Aretha Franklin, Bob Uecker, and Mary Hart. Matches already announced (pretty much all of them)...

- The Can-Am Connection vs. The Magnificent Muraco & Bob Orton Jr. (Gene mentions a possible surprise guest in Can-Am's corner, which never went anywhere)
- Koko B. Ware vs. "The Natural" Butch Reed
- The Killer Bees vs. Nikolai Volkoff & The Iron Sheik
- Billy Jack Haynes vs. Hercules
- Hillbilly Jim, Haiti Kid, Little Beaver vs. King Kong Bundy, Little Tokyo, Lord LittleBrook
- The Junkyard Dog vs. "The King" Harley Race
- The Rougeau Brothers vs. Greg Valentine & Brutus Beefcake
- IC Champ Randy Savage vs. Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat
- The British Bulldogs & Tito Santana vs. The Hart Foundation & Danny Davis
- "Rowdy" Roddy Piper vs. Adrian Adonis
- WWF Champ Hulk Hogan vs. Andre The Giant (Gene mentions a possible surprise guest in Hogan's corner, which never went anywhere)

Wrestlers picks for the World Championship Match: Steamboat for Hogan, Adonis for Andre, Hart Foundation for Andre, Hillbilly Jim for Hogan, Hercules for Andre, Koko B. Ware for Hogan, Martel for Hogan, and Zenk for Andre (BOO! You broke up the chain of obviousness).


3. Billy Jack Haynes vs. King Harley Race (w/ Bobby Heenan):
A PrimeTime Wrestling Exclusive, with Bruno Sammartino and Jesse Ventura calling the action. Call it a hunch, but I'm sure we're going to be seeing Hercules somewhere in this match to interfere and further his feud with Haynes. Good enough match for a weekend show "feature match", and kept reasonably short so that there's not 10-minutes of chinlocks and a dead crowd. After some action outside of the ring, Haynes mounts his comeback inside the ring, press slamming Race and applying the Full Nelson, but Heenan runs in to kick Haynes in the ass, and drawing the Disqualification at 10:32. Haynes responds by locking Heenan in the Full Nelson, drawing the biggest pop of the match, but Race quickly breaks it up, and sends Haynes out of the ring... but Haynes isn't through, chasing the bad guys out of the ring, but without getting to nail either of them thanks to the stupid referee. I'm a bit surprised there was no Hercules, though.


4. Cowboy Lang vs. Lord LittleBrook:
Oh no, MIDGETS! From the Madison Square Garden card held on June 14th, 1986 (one of the worst MSG cards I can remember). Gorilla Monsoon and Lord Alfred Hayes are on commentary, to make things worse. I'm assuming they're showing this turd of a match to build up the Midgets for WrestleMania III. The usual goofy midget match, with them trying to have a serious match at times, but no one cares. Dreadfully long and boring, and who in their right mind gave this thing 10-minutes? Midgets are supposed to warm up the crowd, not kill it. After a whole lot of nothing, Cowboy Lang pinned LittleBrook after some unusual rolling carthweeling roll-up thing at 10:53. There's a move I haven't seen in years... other than Eugene in 2004. Now let's never talk about this match again.


5. Blackjack Mulligan vs. Jimmy Jack Funk:
You know it's a Super-Recycled Episode of PrimeTime Wrestling, with this match being stolen from the January 3rd, 1987 episode of Saturday Night's Main Event, with Vince and Ventura on commentary. This match was "unofficially" dubbed the Battle of Texas by Vince McMahon. Funk complains about Mulligan wearing his spurs in the ring. Because this was the death-slot match, we get a Blackjack Mulligan interview DURING the match, which goes to show how important this one is. After Funk gets in some token offense, Mulligan wipes the floor with him, and pins him following a "diving" back elbow at 2:33. Damn that was a quick match. Thank God. After the match, Mulligan steals Jimmy Jack's lasso, and hangs him outside of the ring. Way to go Mulligan! Teach that jack-off something!


- Mean Gene Okerlund hosts a VERY Special Interview with "Rowdy" Roddy Piper, who was teasing retirement at the time, inside of an empty arena for what was probably a taping for SuperStars (judging by the banner in the rafters). Piper confirms he will retire after WrestleMania III, where he faces the Adorable one, Adrian Adonis. Say it ain't so, Roddy Piper! Say it ain't so! (Of course, he's STILL wrestling, and just won the WWE Tag Team Titles in November of 2006, nearly 20 years after the fact).


6. The Islanders (Tama & Haku) vs. Joe Mirto & Al Navarro:
Stolen from the previous days episode of Wrestling Challenge, with Bobby Heenan and Gorilla Monsoon calling the action. I'm surprised that the Islanders weren't booked for a match at WrestleMania III. You'd think they were higher on the card than the Killer Bees, or at least equal to the Rougeau Brothers and Can-Am Connection. I didn't notice, but the woman referee (Rita Maria?) has been doing most of the matches on this show. For some reason, this match is JOINED in Progress. The Islanders win easily following a Haku slam and Tama top rope splash on Navarro at 3:22. Babyface Islanders are still weird to watch.


7. WWF Championship: Hulk Hogan © vs. King Kong Bundy (w/ Bobby Heenan):
Woah, now THIS is what I call a Feature Match. It's a ReMatch of the WrestleMania 2 Main Event if you go by the date of this show. From the Boston Garden, originally held on October 6th, 1985(!), with Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse Ventura on commentary. Yes, a match nearly 18 months old. Bundy must be really ove,r because the ring is being littered with junk. Hogan comes out to a theme he used for about 3 weeks in 1985 before using Real American (I think the theme was used on the original Wrestling Album). It's generic theme for the most part, with chants of "Hulk" throughout. Monsoon confirms my previous statement. The crowd is already way into this, and the bell didn't even ring. A Much better match than what they produced at WrestleMania 2, thanks to the fact there was no Cage hampering the flow of the match. Bundy dominates briefly, even connecting with an Avalanche, but Hogan still manages to catch Bundy coming out of the corner with a powerslam, and that's good enough for the three count at 6:12. Keeping it short was another good idea, because I can't think of many good Bundy matches that were long. After the match, Hogan does his usual posedown routine.


- Monsoon and Heenan wrap things up from the studio, arguing over the result of the previous match. Heenan swears up and down that Bundy's shoulder was up, and that Hogan can't slam Andre the Giant. Until next week...

WWF PrimeTime Wrestling - 3/2/87


- Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan are the hosts of PrimeTime again (I'm getting really tired of having to point that out every week). Monsoon mentions visting the "training facility" of Andre the Giant over the past week, hyping up the main event of WrestleMania III with every bit of energy he can. No feature match is announced, so I hear what it might be this week. All matches on this weeks program, unless otherwise noted, were originally held at the Maple Leaf Gardens in Toronto, Ontario, Canada, on February 15th, 1987.


1. Moondog Spot vs. Sika:
Why the hell is there a match featuring Spot on every damn episode of PrimeTime Wrestling? Thank God the Moondogs split up in January, because that means it's only a matter of time until Spot finally got the damn axe. Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby Heenan are on commentary, which is always a plus. The only thing worthy of noting about this match is that it's heel vs. heel, but Spot has a history of being in them too, most notably at the Wrestling Classic against super-heel Terry Funk. Boring, awful match, with several extra-long chinlocks. Both men do stuff until Sika plants Spot with his signature Samoan drop for the three count at 7:08. Hopefully this will be one of the last times I have to see a Spot match. As for Sika, he's hanging around for at least another year, so until then, courage.


2. "Special Delivery" Jones vs. Outlaw Ron Bass:
Ron Bass had recently debuted in the WWF after several runs in Jim Crockett Promotions and Championship Wrestling from Florida (as Cowboy Ron Bass). Teasing of an angle between him and Blackjack Mulligan by Monsoon and Heenan, but that went nowhere. Pretty much an extended squash for Bass, but Jones does get in his occasional "token" offense. After making it through S.D.'s big comeback, Bass surprises him with a sloppy diving back elbow, and that's good enough to pick up the three count at 6:56. An impressive victory for Ron Bass, no doubt.


- A Very Special Presentation: The Official contract signing between Hulk Hogan and Andre The Giant, with Jack Tunney hanging around just for show. After Heenan and Andre sign the contract, Hogan, in total over-acting mode, moans and whines about how he would've given Andre a shot if he just asked... then he signs the conract. No, he didn't sign it in blood.


- WrestleMania III Report with Mean Gene Okerlund. The newest and final match signed for the biggest show of the year: Jake Roberts (w/ Alice Cooper in his corner) takes on the Honkytonk Man. All the other matches have been announced. We get promos from Bob Uecker along with Bobby Heenan, and Mary Hart with Jesse Ventura.


3. Corporal Kirchner vs. Johnny K9 (w/ Slick):
Kirchner, the kiss-ass of the year, comes to the ring waving the Canadian flag. Wait, Slick managed a scrub? Oh, he gets on the microphone before the match and explains that Butch Reed was supposed to be here, but he has the flu, so here's his replacement. Yeah, that sure is a good exchange. Butch Reed was no main eventer, but his replacement is Johnny K9?! My God, was Terry Gibbs or Mike Sharpe not available or something? No real action happens for the first 4-5 minutes, and once we get to a commercial break, I realize the horror that this match isn't going to be very short. K9 ends up controlling for a while, but Kirchner "Americas-Up" and finishes off K9 with a Samoan drop (hey, didn't we just see a match with this finish?) for the three count at 11:18. That's about 9-minutes too long considering one of the participants.


4. The Can-Am Connection (Tom Zenk & Rick Martel) & "Leaping" Lanny Poffo vs. The Dream Team (Brutus Beefcake & Greg Valentine) & Adrian Adonis (w/ Jimmy Hart & Johnny Valiant):
Courtesy of SuperStars of Wrestling, with Vince McMahon, Jesse Ventura, and Bruno Sammartino on commentary. Lanny Poffo's pre-match poem insults Adonis' non-too impressive body. Speaking of Adonis, he cuts a inset promo mid-match. As usual for feature matches on SuperStars, this one's super-rushed, with Rick Martel playing the face-in-peril. For whatever reason, Adonis pulls out a pair of scissors to cut Martel's hair, but he pulls the old switcheroo with Beefcake at the last minute, and Beefcake gets the trimming... which makes no sense. Why would Adonis cut hair without looking? Anyway, Beefcake, surprised at the actions of Adonis, throws a girly-fit until Martel rolls him up for the surprise three count at 3:33. I have a feeling this will be going somewhere down the road.


5. Billy Jack Haynes vs. King Kong Bundy (w/ Bobby Heenan):
Another match from SuperStars of Wrestling with Vince and Ventura on the call (I don't think I hear Sammartino anywhere), and the second week in a row where Haynes is wrestling a member of the Heenan Family. Just as the match begins, we get an inset promo from Hillbilly Jim, along with his midget partners Little Beaver and the Haiti Kid, hyping up their match against Bundy and Company at WrestleMania III. Just as soon as the match begins, it comes to an end, as Haynes applies the Full Nelson on Bundy, and Heenan runs in to draw the Disqualification at 1:54. Haynes goes after Heenan, but this time Hercules runs in to do a beating on Haynes, and leaves him laying. Will Haynes get his payback before WrestleMania III? Only time will tell!


6. Pedro Morales vs. "Mr. Wonderful" Paul Orndorff (w/ Bobby Heenan):
Back to the Maple Leaf Gardens, and Gorilla Monsoon is calling the action by himself. In a "this was still going on moment", Paul Orndorff comes out to "Real American", and gets very little reaction once everyone realizes it's him coming out. Boring back-and-forth action, but at least it's kept pretty short. Orndorff picks up the victory after reversing a cross-body press from Morales at 4:29. Monsoon swears Orndorff's feet were on the ropes, but I don't think I caught that. Another excuse to poke fun at the Heenan Family for being alleged cheaters.


7. The Killer Bees vs. The Hart Foundation (w/ Jimmy Hart):
(B. Brian Blair & Jim Brunzell vs. Brett Hart & Jim Neidhart)
Yes, the OFFICIAL spelling of Hart's name was "Brett" up until 1989, when it magically became "Bret" and people weren't confused over the situation. This is the feature match of the week, and I'm surprised that it's such a good one. Monsoon is joined on commentary by Billy Red Lyons, whoever the fuck that is. The Foundation, at the time, were only 8 days removed from winning the Tag Team Titles from the British Bulldogs (with plenty of help from crooked referee Danny Davis). Before the match, Jimmy Hart gets on the microphone to announce that this is a NON-TITLE match, because the match was signed before the Foundation had won the Championship. Monsoon corrects him, saying the decision was already made by Jack Tunney, and not them. The Bees have their ridiculous "bee" outfits on again (black spandex under their regular trunks and the "bee booties" from hell). Good match, as usual between these two teams. Blair ends up playing the face-in-peril until we get the old masks switching from the Bees, causing plenty of chaos. Since one bee does a great dropkick, I'm assuming the other is B. Brian Blair, who comes off the top rope with a sunset flip on Hart for the surprise three count at 8:39. This probably earned them a title match for the next card at the Maple Leaf Gardens, but I won't know that for another few weeks.


- We end things with more hyping of WrestleMania III. Alice Cooper will be in Jake Roberts' corner, and George Steele will be in Ricky Steamboat's for his title match against Randy Savage. Of course, more talk about Hulk Hogan vs. Andre The Giant.