WWF Royal Rumble 1998:
- The Royal Rumble for quite a few years at this point, was becoming a bit of a disappointment, thanks to a seriously lacking roster (1997 had a bunch of mexicans for christ's sake!), and "reused" superstars from previous matches, something that, between 1988 and 1993, only happend once (Roddy Piper in 1992, and only because he was a last minute replacement for Bret in the IC Title Match). 1998 continues the trend, but will that be enough to shoot down an entire show?
Free For All Highlights:
- Dok (or is it Doc?) Hendrix and Sunny (skanked out) run down some of the stuff we'll be seeing on this show... including MIKE TYSON, who doesn't exactly get the warmest reception, despite being one of the most popular fighters in recent history (for better or worse). They keep hyping him for Raw the next night, however. I wonder if anything of importance is going to happen then....
- Tito Santana (then a spanish broadcaster) talks about (in kayfabe) the Royal Rumble Match. Look at that clip from 1988 with Tito!
- Interviews with several of the Royal Rumble Participants, including Cactus Jack, Chainsaw Charlie (Terry Funk under a pantyhose mask), Jeff Jarrett (NWA Champ!), and The Nation of Domination (Rock, Faarooq, D'Lo, Kama, and newest member, Mark Henry).
1. The Man They Call Vader vs. The Artist Formerly Known as Goldust (w/ Luna):
For those who completely blocked out this time frame, Vader and Goldust have had a beef ever since the Survivor Series, when Goldust walked out on team USA (which included spousal abusive Marc Mero, white-boy wanna-be tough-guy Steve Blackman, and fat-ass Vader). Since then, they've had issues. As for the TAFKA Goldust gimmick, it's basically the same thing, except more weird and with colorful outfits. Here he has a lot of green going on. About as good as a match as you would expect from a phoning-it-in Goldust and more and more nuetered Vader. That means it isn't very good, but at least I can sit through it without wanting to punch myself in the ear. The only real highspot is the finish, where Vader came off the middle rope for the Vader-Bomb, with Luna on his back the whole time, squashing Goldust in the process. And thus is the only PPV victory for Vader in 1998 (a whopping record of 1-4 before being released/fired/whatever in the Fall).
2. Midget Tag Team Match: Max Mini, Nova, Mosaic vs. Battallion, Tarantula, El Torito:
Special Referee for this match is Sunny. The heels (?) don't have any music, but my tape is crapped out here, so maybe it's just me, and the faces have the generic mexican music used by all those guys back in 1997. The only thing worth a damn in this match is NOT Sunny. It's Jerry Lawler unloading about 60 midget jokes (most notably about Max Mini) the entire duration of this match. If you've seen one mexican midget match in the WWF, you've seen them all. 1,000 variations of an arm drag, a few slams, then some high spots. I doubt anyone in the crowd really cared about this match, hence the addition of Sunny as the "referee." I think it was just an excuse to put her in short shorts, although she was nearly half-naked during the FFA, so that can be shot down. Anyway, after a lot of tumbling acts, Max Mini pins El Dorito... I mean Torito, with a crucifix combination. Now let's never speak of this match again.
3. WWF Intercontinental Title Match: The Rock © vs. Ken Shamrock:
Over the past few weeks, Shamrock has made every member of the Nation tap-out to his ankle lock. Last week, during a tag team match, Mark Henry turned heel (no one cared), and laid out Shamrock, meaning the World's Strongest Man is better than the World's Most Dangeorus Man. Pre-Match interview from The Rock, and he's confident he'll retain the title, don't ya' know? Typical match these two wrestled about 670 times in 1998. Rock stalls and punches a lot, Shamrock does his goofy worked-shoot fighting, which looks completely fake (more than usual, at least). In the big surprise of the night, Shamrock takes out the Rock with a belly-to-belly suplex for the three count to win the Intercontinental Title... but WAIT! The Rock, earlier in the match, slipped a pair of brass knuckles into his tights, and after the match, tells the referee Shamrock used them. The ref' does find them, reverses the decision (Rocky retains the title now), and gets his ass kicked by Shamrock, because in real life, the referee always gets his ass kicked by a guy that should've been banned from the sport the first time he did it. Not a good match, by the way. Rocky was still not "The Rock" we know later on who had plenty of good matches.
4. WWF Tag Team Titles: The New Age Outlaws © vs. The Legion of Doom:
Blech! You know your time is up when signs and chants of "O.L.D" are making appearences during your match. Still, the LOD return from a major beatdown, to continue putting over the now getting over Outlaws, who are sporting Bret Favre uniforms for this match. Another pretty bad match, but this time it's REALLY bad. And long. Punchy-kicky the whole way through until the Outlaws decide to cheat, by handcuffing Hawk to the ring-post and constantly double-teaming Animal in the ring. Where's the Disqualification? Hawk eventually snaps the cuffs off the post and makes the save for Animal, with steel chairs becoming involved in the fray, resulting in a Disqualification victory for the Legion of Doom. Less than a month later, the LOD "split up", then for no reason, reformed for WM XIV as "L.O.D. 2000" with Sunny as their manager. What the 2000 represents is a mystery, but I'm sure the NAO made an age joke somewhere.
5. 30-Man Royal Rumble Match:
Side-Note: The entire "video package" for the Royal Rumble is centered entirely around Steve Austin. I wonder if he's going to win this thing or not. Earlier in the night, a host of people were looking for Austin, but when a "Bald wrestler" was found, it ended up being one of the DOA twins (they say Skull, but who really knows or cares?) #1 is Cactus Jack, and #2 is Chainsaw Charlie. Yeah, this thing was random all right. They exchange weapon shots, freely I might add, until #3 enters. It's Tom Brandi (a.k.a Salvatore Sincere), and he's eliminated quicker than I can type this sentence. #4 is the Rock, who only wrestled about 15-minutes earlier. I'm sure no one saw that coming. He takes a beating too, but manages to survive the 2-minutes. #5 is Headbanger Mosh. #6 is Phineas Godwinn. #7 is 8-Ball. Not a whole lot happening, obviously. Just as I type that, Charlie eliminates Cactus. #8 is Blackjack Bradshaw. #9 ia Owen Hart, but Jeff Jarrett knocks him silly, and doesn't make it to the ring. He also got the biggest pop so far, but with such notable faces like Mosh and Bradshaw, that's not a surprise. #10 is Steve Blackman. #11 is D'Lo Brown, the 2nd Nation member to enter. Rock and D'Lo end up fighting each other, in another rare notable moment. #12 is Kurrgan (formerly the Interrogater), and it's time to clean house... I hope. Mosh is gone by his hands. #13 is Marc Mero (w/ Sable), and Blackman is dumped by Kurrgan. #14 is Ken Shamrock, and he leads a group of superstars in eliminating Kurrgan. #15 is Headbanger Thrasher. No one cares.
#16 is.... Mankind? Yup, Mick Foley is making a 2nd appearence, subbing for a Quebecer. He quickly eliminates Charlie, revenge from earlier in the match. #17 is The Artist Formerly Known as Goldust, and he ends Mankind's night. #18 is Jeff Jarrett (NWA Champ!), and as soon as he enters, Owen Hart returns, and dumps his sorry ass. Take that! #19 is The Honkytonk Man (sub. for an injured Triple H). Chyna and HHH take out Owen from the match. BOO! #20 is Ahmed Johnson as Owen falls down heading backstage. Ahmed appears to be wearing ear-rings for the match. #21 is Mark Henry, the 3rd member of the Nation. #22 is NO ONE, and everyone assumes it's Austin. Henry dumps Ahmed, then Phineas Godwinn. #23 is Kama Mustafa, and now FOUR members of the Nation are in the ring. They continue fighting each other. #24 is Stone Cold! Stone Cold!... through the crowd, and he quickly dumps Marc Mero. Then 8-Ball. #25 is Henry Godwinn, and he stomps a mudhole in Austin. Too many people to follow! #26 is Savio Vega with the entire Boricuas gang, but Austin cleans house of them all, and only Savio remains after about 6 seconds. #27 is Faarooq, and now ALL Nation members are in the ring. Rock and Austin brawl outside the ring, but neither has been eliminated. #28 is DUDE LOVE (who didn't see that coming), and he eliminates Bradshaw. People's Elbow to D'LO! #29 is Chainz. #30 is The Man They Call Vader. Rapid-Fire Eliminations occur (Bye-bye, Honkytonk, Kama Savio, Vader, Godwinn, Goldust, Chainz, and Henry).
Final Four: The Rock (#4), Steve Austin (#24), Faarooq (#27), Dude Love (#28). The babyfaces and heels pair up, with the former Tag Champs taking control. Dude with sweet SHIN music and a DDT to the Rock, then Austin and Love battle it out. Mandible Claw applied, but Austin goes low, and Faarooq clotheslines the Dude out. Then the Rock turns on Faarooq and dumps him. Rock vs. Austin! Before it meant anything! After about 30-seconds of back-and-forth action, Austin dumps out the Rock, winning his "2nd" Royal Rumble Match, and earns a shot at the World Title at WrestleMania XIV. Definitely not one of the best Rumbles. Too much hugging and clustering, very little star power, and a dead give-away winner hurts it more. Still better than 1995 and 1999, at least.
6. WWF Title; Casket Match) Shawn Michaels (w/ HHH & Chyna) vs. The Undertaker:
Side note: J.R. makes a rare error in events, claiming the HIAC Match was for the WORLD TITLE, despite Shawn not being champ for another 5 weeks. For whatever reason not explained, the feud going on between them that was blown-off at Badd Blood in October of 1997, was reopened here, no doubt because Steve Austin was still a months away from winning the title, and the only other "contender" was Owen Hart, who was pretty much Midcard-4-Life at this point. Oh yeah, and for a chance for Kane to screw the Undertaker. You see, at the previous episode of Raw, Kane "turned face" (the first of many) to rescue his "brother" from D-Generation X. In typical Casket Match fashion, Undertaker pretty much dominates the entire match, giving Shawn very little offense, and selling even less of it. A notable moment midway through is Shawn taking a bump out of the ring, but ends up landing on his lower back across the edge of the casket and fucking up his back enough to send him into retirement for 4 1/2 years (Karma is a bitch). After Undertaker tombstones piledrives Shawn into the casket, it's a 1994 Rehash! Here comes the Outlaws and Boricuas (don't even ask me to name anyone but Jobbio) to prevent 'Taker winning. This made sense at least, since both teams were under DX's employ at times over the last month. However AGAIN, the lights go out, and Kane comes to the rescue, punching everyone out of the ring. Pyro time... but it doesn't go off, making Kane look like a goof, and in the most obvious double-cross in the history of WWF... in 1998, Kane attacks his brother, chokeslams him into the casket, and the lid is closed, allowing Michaels to retain the belt. Post-Match, the fun continues. Kane drenches the casket in "gasoline", then throws a pack of matches on it to burn the Undertaker alive. At least it looked better than 1994's sorry ass excuse to rid us of the Undertaker. Still, WAY too goofy.
Final Thoughts: Definitely a must-miss show. The two undercard title matches had finishes that pushed the feuds to go on longer, the World Title Match was over-gimmicked with a tired (and obvious) finish, the Royal Rumble was one of the most lack-luster at the time, and to top it all off, a fucking MIDGET MATCH to shore up the undercard? What happend to the Light-Heavyweight Title? Couldn't they find SOMEONE to face TAKA Michinoku? Strong Recommendation to avoid.