:ph43r:

Varitek is injured. YAY!

New York #1! Boston hawk-tooy!

I gots ta' know..and I've seen it everywhere...but what the hell does ":ph43r:" mean? Some internet slang that all the young'uns use today, with their yah-yah music, cellphones and iPods.

It's basically the nerdy, numbnut way of say "fear".

Fear? Really? I don't get it...is it supposed to be used in the context of something like "Zombie fears Steve Lomardi"?!

Well, at least the Braves' July surge seems to have died down. My bounty offer for opposing pitchers is still valid, though.

And with the way the Orioles are playing this year, they're gonna do worse than the 74-88 record of last year.

Woot! Shawn Chacon wins his Pirates debut, 3-2! (after using the entire bullpen to get the last 12 outs)

Oreos send Javy Lopez to the Red Sox. Simultaneously ending Javy's "punch the clock and get paid" exile in Baltimore, and gving the Red Sox a replacement for Varitek (BTW, Varitek's the only guy in MLB history named after a Robotech jet/robot).

O's played a close one against the Yankees, but Chris Ray is the Yank's bitch.. 3 of his 4 losses have come against the Yankees. And if you didn't know it by now, the O's still suck, at 49-61.

Fuck. My team has to play the Tigers again. And this time in Detroit. At least we get Francisco back, and we don't have to face Verlander.

Joe Maddon must have a brain. He WALKED Big Papi intentionally in a clutch situation to face a slightly less dangerous (but still "clutch") Manny Ramirez.

Oh, and WOO! Yankees win again! Yankees #1!

Goddamn. The Tigers hit everything. This series can't get over soon enough.

At least your Twins are in contention. For a small market team, they have been doing consistent the last few years.

But now I am feeling your pain of having two big powerhouse teams in my division...

And fuck, Liriano is "out indefinately" with pain in his pitching forearm/elbow. Fuck.

The TIGERS are a powerhouse? Outside of luck, they have a bunch of rookies in their rotation and a few big bats in the lineup. They don't have nearly the payroll of the Yanks and evil Sawx.

Edit: Is it me, or does EVERYONE steal Bob Uecker lines from Major League? Last night for example, Joe Magrane did the "just a bit outside" line after someone threw the ball about 7 feet from the strike zone.

Dude, don't be so naive. The Tigers are for real. They have the best pitching in the league and they are legit. Plain and simple, they are the 2006 version of the White Sox.

And yes, it's a cardinal rule that you must steal at least one line of Uecker from Major League per game.

Maybe I should've worded that better... strange and unusual luck. Who predicted them to be better than 4th place this year? I can't think of anyone. The only other mystery is the collapse of the Indians, and the MArlins having a respectable record for a team that was suppose to be 30-132 at the end of the year.

Well, I wouldn't have predicted the Tigers to be doing what they are. But I would have told you that they have one of the best young teams in baseball. That's why them hiring Leyland was genius. He's one of the greatest managers of all time at working well with young players.

What's even stranger is Daniel Cabrera pitching a good 7-inning game against the Blue Jays. Only gave up two runs, walked one, and struck out 7.

One walk for Cabrera?!? That's always been his achilles heel, has it not? Too bad your team still has the god-awful Rodrigo Lopez...

We also got Russ Ortiz, who should have never been signed.. And even more interesting, Miguel Tejada flips off a fan.

Yay, Twins take 2 of 3 from Detroit. Pending another Rivera blown save they could lead the Wild Card after tonight...

M-Azing... Royals swept the Sawx this week. Too bad the Yanks couildn't fucking capitalize on it!

Somebody just end the season now.

-Joe Magrane Headache can do better than that. The shelf life on "juuuust a bit outside" expired in June 1993.

However, I offer "here's the pitch..oh shit" as a replacement. Or, if you're really desperate, you can use "Thou shalt not make fun of INSERT PLAYER NAME HERE or thou will get their asses whipped". (I feel your pain if you know where that last quote is from).

-That would be the "Rawls" who swept the Sawx.

-Break up the Bucs! They've won FOUR in a row.

-ESPN's already promoting the shit out of the Yankees-Sox series.

-Insignifcant Signing of the Week: Vinny Castilla re-signs with the Rockies for a third tour of duty. He'll play with the Triple A Sky Sox until the roster expansion in September. He plans to retire after the season and accept an off-field job with the Rockies.

Major League: Back to the Minors could've been worse... they could've left out Bob Uecker.

For all intents and purposes, they did leave out Uecker. A big part of the first two movies was Uecker narrating the play-by-play. They left that out for the third movie. He only talked in stupid pressbox scenes.

But more Uecker couldn't have overcome Scott Bakula and the other awful characters. (Was it supposed to be funny when the Twins manager fluffed up his hair? Huh?)

Well... kinda? I don't know. :P

(still celebrating the massacre of the Red Sawx by the Yankees)

I have this friend who has been a life-long Red Sox fan and has gone to several games over the years and was the happiest guy on the planet when they won the World Series in 2004.

That said, on Friday I was at his house watching the Red Sox get creamed by the Yankees again for the second time in the same day and he proclaimed "The Red Sox suck!"

I was speechless. He said he still loves the team, but that particular night he was mad at them.

Damn, the White Sox lose so the Twins go ahead and give up 3 homeruns to Nick Markakis and lose to the fucking Orioles when they had a chance to take the Wild Card lead...

Nick Markakis for Rookie of the Year! He has Ron Gardenhire's vote.

I'm a little ticked that football's coming back. I've really been enjoying any baseball since the beginning of the month. I watched the fifth (day) game of the NYY-BOS series on Monday and had a blast.

Even this Dodger surge is interesting. I wanna' see a good ol' fashioned Yankees-Dodgers World Series. The Yankees really don't need Mastui or Sheffield. It seems they're better off with Abreu and Cabrera. Some guy named "Bernie something" is also doing allright...

Really, everybody else should be okay with a Yankees-Dodgers series. With both teams made up of patchwork free agents and trades, I'm sure there's SOMEONE who on either roster used to play for your team.

Example: My team's the Pirates, so......
-Former Pirate Joe Beimel is with LA (plus former Buc Elmer Dessens and 3 month rental-Buc Kenny Lofton).
-Former Pirate Craig Wilson is with New York (plus rental-Buc Ron Villone).

Give me a team...I'm sure I'll find a connection to either the Yankees or Dodgers.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Wild Card! Now we need to pull the fuck away from them instead of going down to the wire. Santana going tonight, so I like our chances of going up by 1 1/2 games...

Daniel Cabrera threw 7 shutout innings last night in the Orioles' 4-0 win. He now has 16 scoreless innings. Hopefully, Cabrera will start being more consistent.

Kid needs to work on his walks and he'll be great. He and Bedard are carrying that staff.

And maybe Adam Loewen and Hayden Penn will be the future of the staff as well. They just need a good bullpen as well. Already set at closer with Chris Ray.

I see your team somehow found a way to downgrade from Jorge Julio to LaTroy Hawkins...

Sorta even in my view. Julio blew games for them last year and many times in the past few years. LaTroy Hawkins is doing the same.. And now this year, Julio is putting up decent numbers with the D-Backs.

Man, do the Cardinals infuriate me. It's just a question of which DFA'ed douchebag we're going to pick up next at this point.

Make a Pirates connection to the Tampa Bay Blowing Rays. (Cries at a wasted season of injuries, trades, and rookie call-ups)