7-16-06
Live from "The Jungle" on the campus of IUPUI in Indianapolis, Indiana.

The lights come on and the ring has a shiny new apron, along with a new "jungle themed" entranceway.

Dark Match: Claudio Castagnoli vs. Chad Collyer
These two are engaged in a bit of friendly competition. With both men as faces, it's a clean match. Claudio, though, ekes out the win.
WINNER: Claudio Castagnoli (70/52/88)

The Pyro goes off and WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE is underway

Raven & Sterling James Keenan vs. CM Punk & Jimmy Jacobs
CM Punk makes his way to the ring, with Jacobs in tow. Jacobs is flashing the Straight Edge X's on his hands, and the XXX's on his boots. (I've never really understood why XXX represented Straight Edge. Isn't that what you stick on moonshine jugs?) Anyway, Punk grabs a mic and taunts Raven.

Punk: Raven, if the only person you could find to help you fight me was Sterling James Keenan, then you must not have been looking in the right place. I've whipped Keenan's ass from here in Indianapolis all the way to Pittsburgh and back. Several times, in fact. I've beat him so many times...

Jacobs: How many times did you beat him, Punk???

Punk: (glares at Jacobs)I've beat him so many times that his mom called and asked me to stop. She got down on her knees and begged me.

Raven and Keenan jump over the railing behind Punk & Jacobs. They slide in the ring.

Punk: And while she was down there....

Raven and Keenan attack. The ref rings the bell and we have a match. Raven and Keenan throw Jacobs and Punk into opposite corners. They beat on the two for a bit before climbing the turnbuckle for dueling punches to 10. Keenan gets to five before Punk headbutts him right in the jimmy. Then Punk runs into the ropes opposite his corner and causes Raven to stumble, which allows Jacobs to deliver a powerbomb. Though Jacobs did deliver said powerbomb with his head up Raven's kilt.
Punk stomps Raven a few times. He drags Raven into the corner and says "I'm so much better than you, I'm letting Jimmy Jacobs kick your ass!" Jimmy jumps in and starts punching and kicking at the fallen Raven. He sets Raven up in his corner, and then runs across to Raven & Keenan's corner. He raises his arms in the Straight Edge pose. He rears back, ready to charge, and yells "STRAIGHT EDGE!!!" right as Keenan grabs his feet. Which means Jimmy open mouth kisses the canvas. The Indy crowd starts with a "Jimmy can't run" chant. Raven stands up and starts to head out of the corner, but Punk grabs his hair and jerks him back to the mat. Jimmy finally makes his way back to the corner and tags Punk, who stomps on Raven and throws him into the turnbuckle before taunting Keenan. The taunting brings Keenan out of his corner. Punk looks at Jacobs and says "That's how it's done." He then runs over and baseball slides Keenan's feet from underneath him before charging at Raven with a high knee.
Raven rolls out of the ring. Punk goes after him, but Raven is in HIS element now. Punk climbs onto the apron. As in actually on the curtain. Raven pulls the curtain and Punk falls on his ass. As in literally on his tailbone. Raven grabs Punk and delivers a Russian Legsweep into the guardrail. He then throws him into the ring steps, and Punk hits them ass first. Raven rolls into the ring. He heads over to his corner, but Jimmy Jacobs jumps onto his back. Raven stumbles. Jimmy slaps on a sleeper. Raven walks over step by step to his corner where Keenan is waiting. Raven yells "fly swatter!" Keenan hops down. Raven stumbles to his knees feet from his corner. Jacobs is stoked. He's gonna take out Raven!
Keenan climbs onto the apron with a chair in hand. Raven lets his head down. Jacobs thinks he's got the win until he looks up JUST as the chair is coming down. Raven tags Keenan and rolls out of the ring. Keenan sets up for the MK Ultra when Punk slides in and clocks him in the gut. Punk hits a DDT and rolls Jacobs on Keenan. He looks at the ref and says "Count that shit!" The ref obliges.

WINNERS: CM Punk & Jimmy Jacobs (69/61/77)

Afterwards, Punk points down to Raven and says "I am STILL better than you!"

No doubt, the champion has arrived...
A limo pulls up outside the building and Batista steps out. He throws the belt over his shoulder and confidently walks into the building. Styles is excited about the brawl that will take place, while Jimmy Bauer is surprised that Batista had the balls to show up. Speaking of Balls.... (77)



Chair Swinging Freaks vs. The British Invasion©-HARDCORE MATCH
The Brits come to the ring with The Chair Swinging Freak's chairs that they stole last night. They then unfold them and sit down. The Freaks want to know what's going on. The Brits ask for a mic, and the camera guy gives them one. They say that they're not going to wrestle in a hardcore match. The Freaks ask if they're scared, to which the Brits reply "no, we're just gentlemen who don't want to besmirch our reputations by wrestling in a garbage match." Boy, did the Freaks not take to that nicely. Though, as Joey Styles tells us, The Freaks may not even know what they meant.
Both of the Brits get up QUICKLY and fold their chairs before running to the back. They step behind the curtain. The Freaks follow. Chairs slap up against something and both the Freaks stumble. Axl falls right through the doorway, while Balls takes part of the entranceway/stage with him. This allows some of the crowd to see backstage, including Raven talking to Roddy Piper. The Brits throw down their chairs and clap their hands. They each cover a Freak, thinking that they've finished the match. But Balls and Axl have a surprise for the Brits, and that surprise is HIGH pain tolerance. Both Freaks kick out, and the Brits look surprised.
The Brits decide they're going to try and clobber the Freaks into submission, so they go about pounding on them with various objects. Balls turns the tables on Nigel after a bit and whips out the cheese grater. Nigel is screaming bloody murder, which tells Burchill that Nigel needs help. Burchill attacks Balls and picks up the cheese grater. He looks at Nigel and asks "What do I do with this?" Nigel points to his forehead and Burchill asks "He did that?" Nigel nods. "With this?" Nigel nods again. Burchill looks stunned. He looks at Balls, then the grater, then Balls again. He drops the cheese grater and heads back towards Axl Rotten. Nigel tries to charge Balls, but Balls jabs him in the face, which leads to the "Balls, Balls, Balls, WHOOOOOOA BALLS!" spot. Everyone works their way back towards the ring. The Freaks throw both Brits in the ring. Axl and Balls hop in, and Nigel jumps out quickly. He backs up the ramp a step or two to catch his breath. William Regal makes his way down the walkway and stops Nigel. The Freaks hit Burchill with a chair, and then Balls picks up the cheese grater again. Nigel points to the cheese grater. Regal nods and whispers something into Nigel's ear. Nigel nods in agreement. Nigel runs back to the ring. Regal stays put.
Nigel pulls Burchill out of the ring and pulls him to his feet. Burchill wipes his hand on his forehead, and then stares at the blood. Nigel whispers in Burchill's ear, and Burchill lights up. Both Brits climb into the ring. The Freaks charge at them, and the Brits *GASP* wrestle them to the ground. They throw Balls into the ropes. Regal grabs his foot. Balls turns and follows Regal up the walkway. Burchill throws Axl into Nigel, and Nigel delivers a BEAUTIFUL European uppercut. Regal turns around just in time to CLOCK Balls with the Brass Knucks as the Brits deliver "England Prevails" to Axl Rotten.

WINNERS: THE BRITISH INVASION (74/67/81)

Ken Kennedy vs. Terry Funk
Kennedy makes it to the ring first. He's very cocky. He puts the.... Okay, I'm not going there, but you get what I mean. Funk comes out to an ovation. The people love their old wrestlers. A "Funk him up Terry, Funk him up" chant starts. Funk offers his hand like a gentleman should. Kennedy reaches out, and then pulls away with a "You're too slow Grandpa." Funk responds with a quick left. Kennedy rubs his jaw and verbally threatens Funk. Funk responds with another left. This continues for about three more punches, until Kennedy kicks Funk in the gut and slams the back of his head into the mat.
Kennedy rakes his foot across Funk's face. He taunts Funk with "Maybe there's some gum down there for ya!" Funk hits a single leg takedown. He tries to set up for the Spinning Toe Hold, but Kennedy kicks him in the gut. Kennedy punches Funk in the face, then yells "These are Steel Toes. You won't be spinning my toes any time soon." He then kicks Funk in the ribs to prove it. Funk rolls outside. Kennedy hops down after him and gets served some chops. Funk then punches Kennedy. Funk rolls Kennedy onto the apron. He grabs his ankle and slams it into the ringpost. Kennedy freaks. Funk does it again. The crowd chants "One more time" and Funk obliges. Kennedy is grabbing his ankle. He starts to loosen his boots. Funk steps on his crotch and pulls the boot off. He then slaps on the Spinning Toe Hold. Kennedy tries to play tough, but taps in the end.
WINNER: Terry Funk (77/82/67)

After the match the stretcher comes down to haul off Kennedy, and Funk doesn't look so happy.

THE CAGE IS GOING UP!!!
While the ring crew puts the cage up, we get a recap video telling us about the Lynn-Homicide Feud. We see the beginning, with Homicide attacking Lynn, Onyx & Delirious, then Onyx turning on Lynn after Onyx's match with Jimmy Jacobs. We see Homicide forking Lynn at Summer Glory. The emotion wells when we see Homicide and Onyx cuffing Lynn to the ropes so Homicide can hit Lynn's kid with a lead pipe and then a Cop Killa. We hear from Homicide's interview the week after when he tells Lynn he might as well give up custody, and finally see last night's brawl and the locker room preventing Homicide & Onyx from leaving, and Roddy Piper's announcement that tonight's match would be in a steel cage. (62)



Jerry Lynn vs. Homicide-STEEL CAGE MATCH
Homicide is first in the cage. He's pulling on the cage, testing it's sturdiness. Lynn comes out and boy is he focused. He doesn't take his eyes off of Homicide for one second. This is a problem as Onyx comes out quietly from behind the curtain. But what Onyx doesn't know is that ROWDY RODDY was waiting for him to pull something like that. And before Onyx can get to Lynn, Piper has him. Piper signals that Onyx is banned from Ringside. Onyx tries to hit Piper, but Piper is quicker than he looks, and he decks Onyx. Lynn turns around and sees Onyx on the floor. He thanks Piper and then steps toward the cage. Security hauls Onyx off and Piper says to take him out of the building. Lynn steps into the cage. Piper grabs the lock and locks it himself.
Homicide and Lynn stare at each other from across the ring. Homicide mimics swinging the lead pipe. Lynn charges. Homicide sidesteps and throws Lynn into the cage. Lynn grabs his head and nods towards Homicide, as if to say "I see how it is." The two grapple, and Lynn gets the advantage, finally slapping Homicide hard in the back of the head. Homicide stands up quickly and gets in Lynn's face. Lynn slaps Homicide hard across the face. Homicide tries to punch Lynn, but Lynn catches his arm. Homicide tries again and Lynn still catches him, but this time he kicks Homicide in the gut and nails a Monkey flip, throwing Homicide into the cage. Homicide lands on the ropes and Lynn hits a cross body which puts Homicide further into the cage. Lynn puts Homicide on the top turnbuckle. Lynn climbs up himself and jumps up. Homicide is expecting a hurricanrana, but Lynn surprises him with with a dropsault off the turnbuckle. Homicide again meets the cage.
Lynn goes to pick up Homicide, but Homicide hits him with a thumb to the eye. Lynn takes a moment, which is all Homicide needs to get to his feet. Lynn turns around and Homicide dropkicks him in the knee. Homicide then hits a legbreaker. Lynn hits the mat. Homicide grabs his foot and holds it up. He puts his foot on the back of Lynn's knee, lifts and stomps down. Lynn grabs his knee in agony, and Homicide takes a moment to catch his breath. Lynn hobbles up, and Homicide scoops him up and slams him down. 'Cide stomps the knee again.
Cide scoops up Lynn and places him in a tree of woe. Homicide climbs up the cage. He gets near the top. Still holding onto the cage, he lines himself up. Homicide jumps up and aims for a double stomp onto Lynn's bad knee. Except Lynn pulls himself out of the tree of woe. So Cide ends up racking himself on the turnbuckle with his back facing the ring. Lynn climbs up the turnbuckle and moves behind Homicide. Lynn sets up Homicide for a SUPER Cradle Piledriver. The crowd rises to their feet. Lynn jumps, mainly off of the one good leg, and lands the INSANE move. Homicide looks to be dead, and Lynn rolls around the ring in agony. He may have ruined his knee. He wants to make the cover, but he can't get to Homicide. Every move makes him scream in agony. Homicide finally begins to stir. He's not completely there, but he's awake. Lynn is still trying to crawl over. The crowd is going BONKERS trying to cheer for Lynn. Lynn is dying to make the pin. Almost literally. After what seems like eternity, Homicide stumbles up. Lynn tries to stand. He can't do it. Homicide falls into the ropes. The ref asks Lynn if he wants to quit. Lynn says no. Lynn tries to stand again, but he stumbles down onto his good knee. Homicide turns around, still a bit groggy. Lynn has just enough in him to roll up Homicide in a school boy. The ref counts. 1..... 2..... and NO. Homicide kicks out. Lynn slaps the mat in anger. He rolls to the ropes and pulls himself to his feet. He hops toward Homicide, who's just starting up. Lynn goes for a Shining Wizard, but Homicide ducks. Lynn hits the mat and Homicide takes advantage, locking Lynn into an STF. Lynn taps immediately.
WINNER AND NEW X DIVISION CHAMPION: HOMICIDE (73/69/78)

After the match, Homicide takes his belt and holds it in Lynn's face. He tells Lynn that he is now the standard bearer of the X-Division, not Lynn. Lynn holds his knee with one hand, then flips off the departing X Division champ with the other. The medical crew comes to take care of Lynn while the ring crew takes down the cage.

Chris Benoit vs. Sabu
Joey Styles tells us about the upcoming Chris Benoit vs. Sabu match while Lynn is being carried out and the cage is disassembled. He reminds us that the feud started when Fonzie showed up and blew the whistle in Benoit's ear. That Benoit made Sabu tap, and that Fonzie helped cost Benoit his chance at the NWA World Title. And finally, that Benoit attacked Fonzie and last night that Sabu and Fonzie beat Benoit and Terry Funk thanks to Kennedy..... Kennedy.
Sabu and Fonzie make their way to the ring. Suddenly the lights go out and when they come back on Benoit has attacked Sabu. Benoit stomps on Sabu. Sabu rolls out of the ring and walks away. Benoit is close behind. Sabu rolls back in the ring. Benoit rolls in and Sabu attacks. Sabu throws Benoit into the corner and charges in with an Air Sabu that Benoit barely dodges.
Benoit takes advantage with several german suplexes. Benoit lives up to the "Rabid Wolverine" moniker, as he doesn't give Sabu the opportunity to stand up, much less fight back. Sabu, though, has Fonzie on his side. Fonzie climbs up onto the apron and blows his whistle at Benoit. Benoit can't pass up the opportunity to go after Fonzie. The problem is that going after Fonzie allows Sabu to recover and respond. And Sabu does. Sabu sets up a chair, leaps off, and delivers a guillotine legdrop which has Benoit and Sabu spilling to the outside. Again. Benoit is quick to get up, and he whips Sabu into the railing. Benoit charges after Sabu, who hiptosses Benoit into the crowd. Sabu climbs the turnbuckle like a rabid squirrel and dives off into the crowd onto Benoit. A "Holy Shit!" chant starts. Sabu leaps up and climbs over the railing to grab a table. Benoit climbs over the rail, then back into the ring. Sabu slides a table into the ring. Benoit stumbles to his feet as Sabu sets the table up in a corner. Sabu grabs Benoit and attempts to whip him into the corner. Benoit reverses. Sabu is heading straight for the table, and Benoit is charging behind him. Sabu runs UP the table, causing it to flip up like a teeter-totter and slap Benoit in the bottom of his jaw. HARD. Sabu falls to the floor from the turnbuckle, and the table comes down on him. Both men lay momentarily, but Sabu is quickly up. He picks up the table and slides it back into the ring. He sets it up in the middle of the ring. He picks up Benoit and throws a punch. But Benoit ducks the punch and quickly moves behind Sabu where he locks Sabu up and delivers a Northern Lights Suplex through the table. Fonzie doesn't even see, as he's telling the crowd how great Sabu is. Which allows Benoit to get the win.
WINNER: Benoit (85/86/86)



Batista© vs. Abyss
James Mitchell accompanies Abyss to ringside. Abyss is gesturing to his waistline, emphasizing that he wants to be the champ. Batista comes out, and holds up the belt for everyone to see. As if they didn't already know. The two stare at each other from across the ring. Neither seems to want to step forward. Mitchell encourages Abyss to attack. Abyss looks at Batista, who flexes. Abyss responds in kind. The two lock up. There's a lot of power in the middle of the ring, and both men want to prove that they are the dominant one. Abyss backs Batista into a corner, and flexes to show his dominance. They lock up again, and Batista pushes Abyss into the corner and poses. That's right, we have dueling Silverback gorillas in the ring. Abyss starts to pose again, and Batista clotheslines him to the mat. Batista pulls Abyss up and delivers some strong blows to the head. He throws Abyss into the ropes and hip tosses the Monster onto the mat. Batista pulls Abyss up, and delivers a stalling vertical suplex. The crowd applauds. Batista finally drops Abyss, but Abyss stands up almost instantly. This is a mistake, though, as Abyss is now dizzy from the suplex. Batista charges at Abyss with a clothesline, and Abyss counters with an intstinctual BLACK HOLE SLAM!!!
Fortunately for the champ, Abyss is still reeling from the suplex and can't make the cover. James Mitchell is POUNDING the apron, doing as much as he can to encourage Abyss to stand. Someone in the front row insults Mitchell, and Mitchell turns around and swings at the guy with his cane. The crowd boos Mitchell, who responds with "We'll see who's laughing when Abyss is holding the title!!!"
Back in the ring, Batista groggily pulls himself to his feet. Abyss, who has finally recovered from the rush of blood to his head, charges full speed and SQUASHES Batista against the turnbuckles. Mitchell climbs to the apron and calls for "Doomsday!" Abyss turns to face Batista and TELEGRAPHS that he wants to hit the Shock Treatment. Batista catches on, and gets out of the hold, catching Abyss with a back suplex. Batista pulls Abyss to his feet, and sets the Monster up for the Batista Bomb. But Abyss hits the back body drop reversal instead. Abyss crawls out of the ring and pulls out his secret weapon: THUMBTACKS. He climbs back into the ring as Mitchell distracts the ref. Like a pyro pouring lighter fluid, he drops the tacks across the floor. He claps his hands and turns around just in time to get a kick in the gut. Batista lifts him up and BATISTA BOMBS him directly onto the tacks. Mitchell is shocked. He yells and tells the ref that Batista brought in the tacks. So Batista pulls Mitchell in. He picks up Mitchell and delivers the Batista Bomb to Mitchell ON TOP OF Abyss. He pins both men and gets the win.
WINNER: BATISTA (75/76/73)

Overall: 74

Welcome to the Jungle was attended by 3949 people!
We made $157960 from ticket sales.

That was a really good, really awesome show.

Punk-Raven continues, as it should.

LOVED Homicide-Lynn. That was just awesome, and Homicide is your most over guy, for me. Loving everything you do with him.

Batista-Abyss was nice, with the right guy going over, and a nice finish.

Also enjoyed Sabu-Benoit, although it doesn't feel like a blowoff. Perhaps it will continue.

All in all, just a great supershow. Keep it up, I'm interested in the direction now, bigtime.

Fun show, and sweet DVD case.

Has anyone ever done that spot that Sabu did with the table in real life? I seem to remember someone doing that with a ladder but I might have just dreamed it.

Once again I find myself marking out at the dvd cover design. I haven't had the chance to give the show a proper reading, but from skimming at the results, I say kudos are in order.