Alright boys and girls. Here's how its going to go. I'll write (type?) reviews for all the good, bad, and occasionally downright ugly matches I have.

But I'm new here. So if anyone has any helpful suggestions pertaining to the improvement of my work, as always feel free to chip in.

Since this is my first post I should probably explain my rating scale.

***** (5 Stars) is the most perfect match you could possibly ever have. Its the pinnacle of work rate between two or more wrestlers. I rate very fairly and will probably give a 5* rating or two out at some point. But it won't be easy to achieve, or common to see.

**** (4 Stars) is just below the level of a 5* match. For whatever reason its that extremely small step below it.

*** (3 stars) represents PAW- Perfectly Acceptable Wrestling. Its a good solid match, but with nothing truly above the ordinary.

** (2 stars) is a good match. Nothing truly out of the ordinary. It may be good, but don't go out of your way to watch it.

* (1 Star) this is nearing the bottom of the barrel. Its not very good, and has few redeeming qualities.

DUD- The worst match you could ever see. Absolutley NO redeeming qualities. Its the type of match you should go out of your way at all costs to avoid seeing.

With that done maybe in my next post I'll actually review something.

Welcome back, looking forward to reading...

King Kong Bundy vs. Diesel- WWF World Heavyweight Championship

Backstory: Honestly, none that I can think of. Bobby Heenan wants to bring some level of success to his "family". Diesel is still on his hot streak as the champion. Bundy is years removed from being a legitimate threat towards any title and was essentially an oversized jobber at this point.

The Action:

They start out nose-to-nose. Bundy shoves Diesel, Diesel returns in kind. Bundy fakes a lockup and gets a kick to the gut and some heavy clubbing blows to the back. Diesel goes to the corner, he's whipped across. Bundy follows him in veeerrrrrryyyyy slowly with a couple of knees to the gut. Bundy- always the innovator, huh? Bundy with an elbow to the neck and a punch. This may or may not be more exciting than watching paint dry, but I know what I'd rather be doing.

Diesel gets sent to the mat, Bundy drops an elbow. Upon doing this his tits jiggle more than those of the lifeguards in the opening credits sequence of Baywatch. He gets two.

Bundy with more kicking and clubbing. Bundy with a backelbow. More punching in the corner. Bundy drops a knee for two.

Oh God help us......... Bundy locks in the WORLD'S LONGEST CHINLOCK. I'm gonna go make myself a sandwhich. No, forget it, I'm gonna drive to the Subway down town and but myself one. Because its literally taking Bundy that fucking long.

During this Gorilla Monsoon and his announcing partner take some time to insult Bundy's dental hygiene, imply that he's a narcoleptic, and all around stop talking about the match. I wish I could do that.........

We get our "false finish". Diesel fights back, but Bundy shuts him down. Diesel goes to the buckle.

Diesel gets whipped across, Bundy charges and eats boot. Diesel with a jumping clothesline for three.

Rating: DUD my God that sucked. Whoever decided Bundy should control almost the entire match should be fired and fed to sharks. It would've helped if Diesel would've done a damn thing, at least make some kind of comeback. But no, he played Bundy's punching dummy.

What a pathetic match.

Bundy really was terrible in that 95 run. Though he was never that good in the WWF. I did think he was fairly entertaining in Memphis though.

He wasn't too bad when he was working with the right type of opponent. Somebody smaller, or quicker than him who could in turn create a lot of movement around him to keep the crowd interested.

Diesel didn't do that. Frankly, if he would've maybe done something during the match instead of getting his ass beat it wouldn't have turned out so poorly.

I think this match was probably better than the Mabel defense. But then the Mabel defense was probably one of the worst matches I've ever seen other than the blindfold match with Roberts/Martel, HHH/Steiner and the shark cage match with Strongbow and Don Kent.

I agree with you about Diesel. Getting beat up for the entire match wasn't really his strength. He needed the small guy to work with like Bundy did. They really should've just extended his program with Michaels until Summerslam.

Next up

"Stone Cold" Steve Austin vs. Yokozuna

-The Night The Ropes........... Broke :D

Backstory: Its a Free-For-All match. These two are stuck together to push last minute PPV buys.

The Action: Austin jumps Yoko as he's disrobing and wails on him with punches. Yoko fights back with some punches and headbutts. Austin gets chopped down, but gets up and goes to the eyes. Austin with more kicking and punching, and a clothesline where he skillfully avoids even touching the ropes.

Austin tries two, and number three is countered into a Japanese-American-Samoan Drop. Yoko with a legdrop for two.

Yoko now goes for his Banzai Drop, but the top rope comes loose and he falls flat on his ass. Austin rolls over and covers for three.

Rating: 1/2* - I'm being a might bit generous here. The work wasn't great but I've seen worse.

Which "Mabel defense"?

His Summerslam 1995 match was its own kind of atrocity, but it was still marginally better than his Bundy match.

I liked the Kent/Strongbow- Shark cage match. It wasn't good, but the novelty of it made it worth watching.

I hate that Mabel Summerslam match with a passion. Especially it capped off what was a half decent night of inring action.

What was the date on the Austin/Yoko match?

Up next-

Diesel vs. Yokozuna

Backstory: None that I know of. Its a Coliseum Exclusive match.

The Action: They go nose-to-nose to start. Yoko with a shove, Diesel returns in kind.

Yoko's punch is blocked, Diesel clubbers all over Yoko. Diesel with a clotheseline. A move that was enough to fell King Kong Bundy. Diesel hits two more, and then a fourth flying one.

Now Diesel, in all his infinite wisdom attempts the Jacknife only to get backdropped. Yoko drops a leg for two.

Yoko with a Banzai drop attempt, Diesel moves and gets three.

Rating: DUD- I have got to find some better matches. I shouldn't have to explain why this sucked.

Mad Dog: The Austin/Yokozuna match happened on the Free-For-All show before Summerlsam 1996

One suggestion..and I think you've already touched upon this. But, I usually like to know a rough time frame. Just adding "November 1995" or "Winter 1995" would clear up alot of stuff.

I like how you separate "The Backstory" pre-amble from the actual match.

Keep it up..and don't be afraid to go off on goofy joke tangents.

I'm lovin these reviews of 2-minute matches. I can finish the review despite my short attention . . . hey, a cookie.

When was the Austin/Yokozuna match? I actually remember that match. Was it somewhere around spring/summer 1996?

Sometimes the answers are hiding in plain sight :)