Announced matches:

NWA World Heavyweight Championship:
The Rock © vs. Edge

NEW World Championship:
Chris Jericho © vs. Big Show

NEW Tag Team Championship:
America's Most Wanted © vs. Team 3D

Submission match:
Spartacus vs. Mick Foley

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. John Cena

Rhino vs. Sonny Siaki

Ron Killings vs. Rene Dupree

Tajiri and D'Lo Brown vs. Brian Kendrick and Jerrelle Clark

32 Flavors of Pain
July 28th 2006

We are treated to an opening hype video set to the song “Rooftops” by LostProphets. The package hypes up Jericho/Big Show, Rock/Edge, AMW/3D, and Foley/Flair.

Iron Troy Cumings and Professor Plague are on commentary tonight. They do not know where President Rowe is, for he hasn’t been answering his phone.

Backstage, “Dapper” Dave Choate is standing by with “Nature Boy” Ric Flair.

Choate: Ric, how does it feel to be able to go by your true name again, now that it has been thirty days since River Rumble?

Flair: Let me tell you something, the last thirty days were the absolute worst of my entire career! I had to wrestle by the name of “Spartacus!” It was a nightmare. You know I am a sixteen time World Heavyweight Champion. I have been main-eventing for three decades. I deserve nothing less than the respect and adoration of each and every person who calls themselves a wrestling fan. But what did I get this past month? Everywhere I went fans were pointing and laughing at the Nature Boy. Do you know how many times I had to hear that stupid “No, I’m Spartacus!” joke? DO YOU? I had to shave off my signature platinum hair, I had to wear a damn earring, and I had to wrestle in a f(bleep)ing toga! And all the while, Mick Foley just stood by and laughed it all up. Tonight I’m going to face Foley in MY kind of match. We’re going to have a submission match, where the winner needs to display great technical WRESTLING! That’s right, I said WRESTLING! We’re not going to judge who is the better man by one’s ability to throw the other in a pile of dog crap. We’re going to have a real match where I will break Mick Foley in half! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

(89%)

Match One: D'Lo Brown and Tajiri vs Brian Kendrick and Jerrelle Clark (#1 Contendership for NEW Tag Team Championship)

Clark and Kendrick make their entrance first and are playing cocky heels now. They climb the turnbuckles and flip into the ring, not because they have to, but because they can. Brown and Tajiri rush out, and attack Clark and Kendrick before the bell even rings! This is a fast paced match up from bell to bell, with Tajiri and Clark having a dazzling exchange of cruiserweight high flying action. Clark goes for the 630 splash, but Tajiri gets out of the way and tags in Brown, who cleans house on both Clark and Kendrick. Brown bodyslams Kendrick and hits his specialized frog splash for the win at 8:14!

Winners: D’Lo Brown and Tajiri, ***3/4 (81/71/91)

Iron Troy: What a way to kick off 32 Flavors of Pain!

Plague: What a crappy way to kick off 32 Flavors of Pain! Clark and Kendrick were robbed tonight!

Iron Troy: What were you watching, they got their asses beat fair and square!

Plague: I see what I want to see! Anyways, let’s take a look at this little incident that happened yesterday at the Ben and Jerry’s Factory. They were kind enough to give a tour to all NEW superstars during our stay here, in Vermont.

The video shows a group of babyface NEW stars (including The Rock, Big Show, Mick Foley, Ron Killings, Tajiri, and D’Lo Brown) receiving a tour at the Ben and Jerry’s factory. The guide is showing them a vat where the cream sits before being processed. Rene Dupree comes in and cuts off the guide. He says he will take over. After all, "Only French people know anything worth knowing." The wrestlers tell him to shut up, but he insists. Ron Killings then takes the initiative and lifts up Dupree, who is wearing a nice suit, and tosses him into the ice cream vat. The group of wrestlers break out into laughter, especially when they see that the ice cream in the vat is to become “French Vanilla.”

Iron Troy: That’s hilarious!

Plague: This is an outrage! You can be sure that Rene Dupree is going to want payback when he faces Ron Killings later tonight!

Match Two: Ric Flair vs Mick Foley (Submission match)

They tie up and Flair takes the advantage. Flair goes right to work on the legs of Foley, trying to weaken them for the figure four. Foley comes back and clotheslines Flair, and himself, over the ropes. They have a brawl at ringside, where Foley bloodies Flair by smashing his head into the steel steps. They return to the ring and Foley drags Mr. Socko out of his pants. Foley locks Flair into the mandible claw! Flair looks groggy, on the verge of passing out, when Tommy Dreamer storms the ring and cracks a kendo stick over Foley’s back. James Gibson runs in and makes the save, but Flair is back on his feet too. He puts Foley in a half Boston crab, to capitalize on Foley’s hurt back. Foley is in trouble, but does not want to tap out under any condition. Foley tries to crawl to the ropes, but passes out from the pain, giving Flair the victory.

Winner: Ric Flair, **3/4 (87/92/77)

Iron Troy: Foley passed out, he couldn’t stand to suffer the indignity of tapping out!

Plague: Well, if Foley thinks passing out from pain makes him look more hardcore, than he’s wrong! It means he still lost!

Match Three: Rhino vs Sonny Siaki

The match starts off slow, with both men trying to gain an upper hand. Rhino goes for a gore in the early going, but Siaki side steps out of the way, and Rhino collides with the corner turnbuckles. Siaki takes control from here, methodically stomping away at Rhino. Siaki puts Rhino into a sleeper, to try and put him down for good, but Rhino fights out of it. Rhino tries to make a comeback with some punches, but Siaki hits a flying spin kick. Siaki goes for the cover, but Rhino kicks out. Siaki then goes for the Siakalypse, but Rhino counters it and hits a belly to belly suplex! Siaki is in a daze and is an easy victim for the GORE! Rhino quickly pins Siaki for the victory at 4:45!

Winner: Rhino, *** (83/85/80)

Iron Troy: Rhino picks up an impressive victory!

Plague: Give me a break, Siaki had the match won, until he screwed up in the end.

Match Four: America's Most Wanted © vs Team 3D (NEW Tag Team Championship)

America’s Most Wanted makes their entrance first. The referee insists on checking each man for weapons. He finds a pair of handcuffs on James Storm, which he confiscates. He doesn’t find anything on Chris Harris, but he warns him that he wants no funny business. Team 3D charge out to the ring and the match is on! Brother Ray and Harris are the legal men, and Ray takes control in the early going. Ray and Devon make frequent tags in the early going, trying to keep Harris from tagging in a fresh James Storm. They even manage to hit the 3D on Harris, but Storm breaks up the cover. Harris desperately hits a low blow on Brother Devon and hits the Catatonic! Harris goes for the cover, but Brother Ray interrupts it! Harris finally tags in Storm, and now Team 3D are in big trouble! Storm cleans house on Ray and Devon before isolating the weakened Devon. Storm puts on a dazzling series of rest holds to wear Devon down, but it works to build up some nice crowd heat. Devon desperately needs a tag, but is isolated. AMW sets up Devon for the Death Sentence, which Brother Ray interrupts, unable to stand by helplessly at ringside. Brother Ray hits the “Bubba Bomb” on Harris and knocks Storm loopy with some hooked punches. Brother Ray then pushes Devon and yells “DEVON… GET THE TABLES!” The crowd goes crazy as Team 3D pulls out a couple of tables from under the ring. The referee is outraged and threatens to disqualify them, but AMW rebounds before it comes to that. Harris spears Brother Ray into a table they had positioned in the corner, and it doesn’t result in a DQ since Team 3D had been the ones who brought them in. Storm keeps Devon still, as Harris covers Brother Ray for the victory at 21:55!

Winners and still NEW Tag Team Champions: America’s Most Wanted, ****3/4 (92/85/100)

Iron Troy: What a war we just witnessed!

Plague: Those stupid Team 3D morons tried to bring in tables and it backfired on them!

Iron Troy: Yes, but they’ll live to fight another day.

Plague: And furthermore, what the hell was up with “Devon, get the table!” Last I checked, they are forbidden from using that phrase for legal issues.

Iron Troy: I am not sure of that. WWE owned those rights, but they are gone now.

Match Five: John Bradshaw Layfield vs John Cena

JBL is hurting physically, so this match is kept short. JBL and Cena have a decent brawl, but neither man are taking much of any bumps. They brawl all over the ring, ringside, and even up the ramp for a bit. Finally the action spills back into the ring, and Cena goes for the F-U. JBL reverses the move and hits a surprise clothesline from hell! JBL goes for the cover, but Cena kicks out! JBL is outraged, and is easily tripped. Cena locks JBL into the STFU, and JBL is on the verge of tapping out! JBL makes it to the ropes and Cena lets go of the hold. Cena goes for another F-U, but JBL rolls him up and grabs the tights for the win at 5:02!

Winner: John Bradshaw Layfield, *3/4 (87/97/64)

Plague: YES, YES, OH YES!

Iron Troy: What are you so happy about?

Plague: JBL is my favorite NEW star. He is the only one who cares about keeping NEW pure and keeping outsiders from other territories out!

Iron Troy: Give me a break, we all work for the NWA! We shouldn’t see other stars from CSW, or M-A, as outsiders!

Plague: Get with the times, you jackass.

Iron Troy: Go to hell. Anyways, up next is the big one folks. The New England Wrestling Championship is on the line!

Match Six: Chris Jericho © vs Big Show (NEW World Championship)

Chris Jericho comes out to the ring by himself. He gazes at his NEW title belt and reluctantly hands it over to the referee. Big Show comes out and stares a hole through Jericho. The bell rings and the match is on! They tie up, but it Show just shoves Jericho to the floor. Jericho bounces back up and ties up again. Show throws Jericho down so hard that he slides under the ropes and to ringside. Jericho throws a temper tantrum and even kicks the steel steps. Jericho climbs back in and ties up with Show one more time. Show lifts up Jericho and throws him into the corner turnbuckles. Jericho bounces right back and slaps the taste out of Big Show’s mouth. This fires up Big Show, who then proceeds to chop the life out of Jericho. Show tells the crowd to “shhhhh” so they can hear the sickening sounds of the chops. Jericho’s chest is beat red and he collapses. Big Show goes for a cover, but Jericho kicks out. Jericho escapes to ringside, so Big Show chases after him. Jericho catches Show off guard as he toe drops him into the commentator’s desk. Jericho then climbs up to the Spanish announce table and jumps off of it and drops Big Show with a hurrancarana, something we don’t see Jericho do everyday! Show pulls himself into the ring, but Jericho aggressively hits a drop kick to his face. Jericho then tries to put Show into the Walls of Jericho! Big Show is too big though and he kicks Jericho into the turnbuckles. Jericho stumbles right into Big Show’s hands and gets lifted into the air for a Chokeslam from hell! However, Jericho grabs the referee while in the air and blocks the move. The referee is unwittingly dropped to the mat hard, and is down and out. Before Jericho can capitalize, Big Show catches him by the throat again and this time manages to hit the Chokeslam from hell! Show covers Jericho, but the referee is still out. Show gets up and tries to revive the referee. However, out of no where, John Bradshaw Layfield enters the ring and hits the clothesline from hell on Big Show! JBL pulls Jericho over Show and revives the referee, who counts 1……2……3! Jericho retains the championship at 15:23!

Winner and still NEW World Champion: Chris Jericho, ***3/4 (93/97/87)

Plague: Ha, this night keeps getting better and better!

Iron Troy: Why did JBL do that!

Plague: I don’t know, and I don’t care. Why don’t you go ask him yourself?

Iron Troy: Dammit, I will!

Iron Troy runs over to the entrance ramp with a microphone and catches JBL before he can disappear into the backstage area.

Iron Troy: JBL, why did you just cost Big Show the match! Why did you get involved, that match had nothing to do with you!

JBL: You are wrong, my dear boy. You see, I was hanging out in the locker-room and I just happened to be going through Big Show’s stuff. You see, you can’t be too careful in this company, you never know when someone is going to try and stab you in the back. And I found out that is exactly what Big Show was going to do to all of us! In his traveling case, I found a contract for NWA: Pushing the Limits… with Big Show’s signature on it! That bastard was going to win the NEW title and bring it with him to PTL! How could he do that? We don’t even know if PTL will still exist after tomorrow night and here he is trying to bring our championship there! I know that no one else is concerned with the threats that the other territories pose to NEW, but I’m going to be the one who stands up and takes pride in my territory! And I say that the NEW title stays in NEW so that NEW stars can compete for it! I spit on PTL! I spit on CSW! And I spit on M-A! The sooner they learn to stay away from New England Wrestling, the better off we will all be!

Iron Troy: JBL, you are insane! You need to calm down and realize that we all work for the NWA, there is no reason why…

JBL shuts up Iron Troy with a slap across the face. JBL poses and heads out to the back. Actually, “chased out” is the more correct phrase as Big Show got to his feet and realized what had happened. Iron Troy gets up and heads back to the commentary booth, feeling a bit defeated.

Match Seven: Rene Dupree vs Ron Killings

This is the popcorn match of the night, between the two big title matches. Killings and Dupree put on a decent little match, with lots of back and forth action. The crowd is having some fun chanting “French Vanilla” at Dupree and cheering on The Truth. Killings hits a beautiful scissors kick to put Dupree away at 4:22! After the match, Dupree hits a big clothesline and chokes Killings to add a bit of revenge. Something tells us that the rivalry between these two men is far from over.

Winner: Ron Killings, ***1/4 (83/82/85)

Iron Troy: Okay, folks. Now it’s time for the match we’ve all been waiting for. Edge will challenge The Rock for the NWA World Heavyweight Championship!

Match Eight: The Rock © vs Edge (NWA World Heavyweight Championship)

The match starts off with a slow feeling out process. The Rock underestimates Edge, who takes him down with a scoop slam. Edge goes right to a chin lock, but The Rock fights out of it. Rock unleashes his trademark punches on Edge, who is already in a daze. Rock sets him up for the Rock Bottom, but Edge wakes up and counters into the STO. Edge puts Rock into a body scissors, trying to get him to submit. The Rock is trapped in the hold for what feels like an eternity, but manages to get to the ropes. Edge flips out and stomps away at The Rock. Rock pulls Edge by the tights, and sends him flying through the ropes to the floor. The Rock follows after him, where Edge greets The Rock with a chair shot! The referee lets this go, feeling that there should be a winner in this first title defense. Rock is bloodied! Edge tosses The Rock back into the ring and goes for the cover and it’s 1…….2……..NO! Rock kicked out! Edge is outraged. He waits for The Rock to stand up and hits the spear! Edge goes for another cover: 1……2……NO! Rock kicked out again! How in the hell! Edge angrily waits for Rock to get up again, and hits a second spear! Edge goes for another cover: 1……2…….NO! (Iron Troy on commentary reminds us that this is how Edge beat Christian Cage at the Great American Bash, and that if Edge hits another spear, The Rock is doomed). Edge readies for another spear, but Rock somehow dodges it this time. Edge’s head bounces off the turnbuckle padding and he turns around and gets hit with the Rock Bottom! The Rock goes for the cover and it’s 1……..2………3! The Rock did it! The Rock beat Edge to retain the title at 19:33!

Winner and still NWA World Heavyweight Champion: The Rock, **3/4 (90/97/76)

Iron Troy: And there you have it! The Rock is walking tall as NWA World Champion!

Plague: What a depressing ending to an otherwise sensational night.

Iron Troy: Shut up, I’ve had about enough of you. I want to send a thank you to all of our great fans who were in attendance tonight and to those of you who picked up 32 Flavors of Pain on DVD! We look forward to making our pay-per-view debut next month! It’s going to be Summerslam, on August 20th, from the TD Banknorth Garden in Boston, Massachusetts!

Overall: 87%
32 Flavors of Pain was attended by 6932 people!
We made $277280 from ticket sales.

Really fun show, although AMW and Team 3-D busting out a ****3/4 match made my head explode.

Haha, thanks for the feedback. Yeah, I was a bit caught off guard with that rating too, it is likely due to the high experience levels of both teams and their styles meshed well.

Yeah, a very good show with tons of good action. Seriously though, looking at their stats, how the fuck did they pull a 100 MQ? Also, Big Show does an 87 MQ? What the fuck was going on during this show. Do I need to check your stats?

Nice show though. The right people retained their titles, and I loved the JBL run in on Big Show. At first it bothered me, but then you explained it, and made it alllll better. Nice show.

Jericho's a miracle worker in EWR dude. He once had a ***1/2 match with fucking TEST in one of my games.

The tag match still baffles me though.

I haven't tampered with Big Show's stats, he just meshed with Jericho, and since I just went global, they both gained some overness and it made a for a positive rating.

And seriously, the 3D/AMW match isn't that much of a surprise. When two teams that both have 100 experience as a team wrestle, and when their styles mesh, it creates workrate magic. They don't have to be a bunch of Benoit's or Angle's to achieve a good rating. The 100 workrate rating did surprise me too, but in a good way of course :)

And yeah, I was hoping the JBL run in would catch people off guard. Since Big Show is on his way to PTL, I figured it would make for a good angle too :)

Good show. I see you've been using the tradition popcorn matches between your main events, good call. I've avoided using popcorn matches because sometimes get the "the crowd was too pumped up from the match before, so it killed your rating", and mess-up the overall quality of the match.

The French Vanilla bit was a good bon mot on your part.

This is how you're using John Cena?! Dammit! Screw you Rowe! Screw you and the NEW! Cena is coming back to Mid-Atlantic next week!

Yeah, I feel they serve a good purpose and no one would think that Dupree/Killings was the secondary main event, even if it was the second to final match of the night. I figured they were both over enough so that the crowd wouldn't take a collective shit on it.

Thank you, thank you :)

What, he did a protected job to a 100 over JBL? :P

My sources tell me that John Cena is demanding a rematch against JBL, preferably at next months debut ppv, Summerslam ;)

Bite my shiny metal ass.

My sources are now telling me that it won't be a singles encounter. ::eerie music plays::