Abyss is staring directly into the camera. So much so that all you can see on the screen is his face. He's breathing heavily
Joey Styles: Not exactly the best way to start off our show, here at Gray's Armory in Cleveland, Ohio. But Abyss kidnapped our camera man, and he apparently wants to speak.
Jimmy Bauer: Well, Joey, why don't you shut up so we can hear?
Abyss steps back and
JAMES MITCHELL steps forward
Joey Styles: What the... JAMES MITCHELL? When did he show up here????
James Mitchell: Last week, Batista, you made an egregious comment. You told Josh Matthews that with Abyss, what you see is what you get...
Well, TONIGHT, you will see that Abyss is MUCH more than what you see. Because what you see is a 6'8", 300 pound human being. But what Abyss really is... well, he's a 6'8", 300 pound Weapon of Mass Destruction. And when The Monster is done with The Animal, all that will be left of you is a pile of bones and a puddle of blood. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
Abyss: HWUUUUUAAAAA!!!! -67%
Match #1:The British Invasion vs. the Lords of the RingJoey Styles: We're here at Gray's Armory in Clevelan, Ohio, and we're starting our in-ring action off tonight with a tag team match. Nigel McGuinness & Paul Burchill are in the left corner, with Nick Dinsmore & Rob Conway in the right corner.
Bauer From your TV Screen, that is. You can't just assume these things, Joey.
The match starts off with Nigel and Dinsmore squaring off. Some good ring work between the two. They seem evenly matched. Nigel tags in Burchill, who plays his power advantage well. Dinsmore works free and tags in Conway. Conway and Burchill stand nose to nose.
Styles: I hope for there sake that these guys haven't eaten any Taco Bell lately..
Bauer: I wish for mine that you hadn't.
Burchill goes for the first punch, and Conway blocks it. Conway takes the upperhand and the two brawl back and forth. It looks like Conway is going to win it for the Lords of the Ring.
Styles: This could be it for this match!
Nigel steps into the ring, which brings Dinsmore in. Nigel steps out quickly, and the ref starts yelling for Dinsmore to do the same. This allows Nigel to low blow Conway as Conway is in a collar and elbow tie up with Burchill.
Styles: Can someone get the ref some glasses?
Burchill and McGuinness hit their finisher.
Styles: ENGLAND PREVAILS!!!
and the ref FINALLY turns around, just in time to count to 3.
WINNERS: The British Invasion 68/60/77
Bauer: These two are doing their country proud.
Styles: Does EVERYONE in England cheat? Because their wrestlers love to.
BACKSTAGE... Josh Matthews: Homicide, last week you ran in during a 3 way X division match between Onyx, Delirious, and Jerry Lynn. The question has to be asked: WHY?
Homicide: It HAS to be asked? It HAS to be asked? Did you not watch that match? Did you not see a loony moron, an old man and a Homicide wannabe pretending to be X Division? I set the bar on the first episode of Saturday Night against Paul London. I set the bar, and I set it high. And until I find someone who can meet the standard I've set for the X Division, I'll stop these losers from bringing down what I've built up.
Styles: Does this mean he's gonna keep interfering?? -55%
Match #2: Batista vs. Abyss-Championship Tournament SemifinalsStyles: Man, is this match going to be a brawl.
Bauer: No doubt, Joey. This match is going to be a knock
down drag out beatdown.
James Mitchell is at ringside with Abyss. Batista asks the referee if Mitchell has to stay, and the referee tells him that Mitchell hasn't done anything yet. Abyss takes this as an opening and attacks Batista. Batista stumbles and Abyss follows, CLOBBERING Batista. Abyss throws Batista into the corner, and charges at him.
Styles: This is gonna hurt!!!
Batista comes out with a clothesline and stumbles down afterwards. Both men take a moment before getting to their feet.
Bauer: This is EPIC.
The men stand facing each other. Batista puts his hand up, and Abyss stares. Abyss looks back at Mitchell, who signals for Abyss to crush Batista's hands. The two lock up in a test of strength, and Abyss gets the upperhand right away.
Styles: I can't believe that Batista is losing....
Batista turns it around and takes advantage.
Styles: Sorry, spoke too soon.
Abyss ducks his head down, and delivers a back body drop to Batista. Batista stumbles up, but Abyss stomps him back down. Abyss throws Batista out of the ring, then throws him into the guardrail. Batista turns the tide and goes for the Batista Bomb, but can't because his back is hurting him from the guardrail.
Bauer: He's not strong enough to lift Abyss!
Abyss walks around and reaches under the ring. While the ref yells at Abyss, James Mitchell comes around and lifts his cane.
Styles:He's gonna hit Batista!
Batista turns around as Mitchell has the cane in the air. Mitchell freezes.
Styles: Looks like Mitchell's going to get what's coming to him!
Batista kicks Mitchell in the stomach.
Bauer: This is dispicable, Styles. Mitchell didn't do anything!
Batista delivers a Batista Bomb on Mitchell, who splats on the mats outside the ring. Batista climbs back into the ring. Abyss wanders back over and looks at Mitchell on the floor, and then looks at Batista.
Styles: What's he gonna do?
Abyss climbs back into the ring. He starts wailing away at Batista in anger, but Batista is staying a step ahead of The Monster. After a few moments of the same, Abyss roars in frustration. This allows Batista to throw Abyss into the ropes and nail him with the spinebuster.
Styles: Abyss may be in trouble!!!
Abyss stumbles to his feet, and Batista is ready as he sets Abyss up...
Styles: BATISTA BOMB!!!!Batista goes for the cover and gets the 1-2-3.
WINNER: Batista, who advances to the finals. 75/77/71
Bauer: Batista assaulted Mitchell! He assaulted an unarmed man who was not involved in this match!
Styles: You can hardly say he wasn't involved, Jimmy. He was ready to beat Batista with his cane.
Bauer: Innocent until proven guilty, Styles. It's the American way.
Styles: Speaking of the American way, NWA Midwest would like to announce that on Sunday, June 4th, we'll be holding our very first Pay Per View Event, Summer Glory. The main event will be Batista vs. the winner of William Regal and Chris Benoit for the NWA Midwestern Championship.
Bauer: And you can keep up on DWBNWAMidwest.com to see if there will be any more matches announced, or just tune in here EVERY Saturday Night....
Batista celebrates on his way up the ramp.
BACKSTAGE.... Terry Funk: I hear it and see it everywhere I go. When I step into locker rooms, I see the look in the eyes of the young kids. They pity me. Their eyes look at me, saying "Terry, please retire."
When I go home to the Double Cross Ranch in Amarillo Texas,my wife gives me a hug when I walk in the door. In tears, she tells me dinner's on the table, and asks me if I'm ready to quit yet.
My kids and my grandkids come to visit. "Grandpa can't get on the floor and play with you honey, his knees hurt." But I know she's seen me taking punishment in the ring, getting up and down without a problem. She doesn't believe me. She just thinks Grandpa doesn't want to play with her.
And now, Ken Kennedy, you come here, and starting spouting that at me in the one place where I've ALWAYS felt safe from it. In the ring. You spout jokes out like it's funny. Like it's funny that I have bills to pay, and only one way to pay them. Like it's funny that my wife cries every time I step through the door because I'm in worse shape than the last time I came home. Well I'll tell you something right now, Kennedy. I don't think it's funny. And I don't like that you do. -84%
Styles: Sounds like trouble for Ken Kennedy
Bauer: Sounds to me like Terry Funk doesn't know who he's up against
MATCH #3: CM Punk vs. Jimmy JacobsStyles: You know, it's about time I see CM Punk in action. I've been watching those promos for weeks, and I'm wondering if he can live up to the hype.
Bauer: Sit back and relax, Joey, you are about to see the man in action, and you're gonna be impressed.
Jimmy offers his hand to Punk, who immediately slaps it away. The fans boo. Punk looks at them, and then flips them the bird.
Styles: Blatant disrespect to the fans by CM Punk.
Punk locks up with Jimmy, and wrenches his arm. Punk then kicks Jimmy in the stomach, which doubles Jacobs over. Punk then hits the knee lift to Jacobs face, dropping Jacobs to the floor. Punk still has Jacob's arm wrenched.
Bauer: Is that not impressive Joey?
Punk wrenches Jacob's arm and backs Jimmy into the corner. Punk shoves his right elbow in Jimmy's face. He makes a fist with his right hand and uses his left hand to drive his elbow into Jacob's face.
Styles: Jimmy's gonna feel that in the morning.
Punk continues on, taunting both Jimmy and the crowd. Finally, he brings Jimmy to the corner where he hits the Pepsi Plunge.
WINNER: CM Punk 68/56/81
Styles: Quite an impressive outing, but I don't know if beating Jimmy Jacobs is going to prove his dominance here, though....
Bauer: It's just the beginning, Joey. Just the beginning.
BACKSTAGE...Josh Matthews: I'm here with The Rabid Wolverine, Chris Benoit. Chris, I've been told to ask you why the NWA Midwestern Championship Tournament is so important to you.
Benoit: Josh Matthews, I don't think anyone needs to be told why I want the NWA Midwestern Title. It's a symbol. A symbol that says that I am the BEST wrestler in this company. THE BEST. No questions asked. That's all I've ever wanted, since before I even started in this business, to be the best.
Tonight, I'll make it one step closer. I'll beat William Regal, and I'll face Batista at Summer Glory.
Hell, I'll BEAT Batista. Because I'm the BEST Wrestler in this company. And if anyone doubts it, they can PROVE ME WRONG. -69%
Match #4: Chris Benoit vs. William Regal-Championship Tournament SemifinalsStyles: I've been waiting for this all night! I've got goosebumps!
Bauer: You sure they're not just pimples?
Styles: Of course I'm... Shut up, Bauer.
Benoit and Regal lock up. Of course the match involves lots of stiff technicality. Regal is taking a lot more than he's dishing out at first, but he fires back pretty heavily.
Styles: Those chops are so stiff I'm getting bruised!
Regal backs Benoit into a corner. Benoit gets out by headbutting Regal repeatedly. Regal backs up and stumbles down, eventually rolling out of the ring. Benoit takes a minute to catch his breath before following.
Bauer: This is turning into my kind of match...
Benoit reaches for Regal, who pulls Benoit face first into the stairs. Regal then rolls back into the ring. Regal and the ref argue for a moment, which allows
Bill Alfonso to jump over the guardrail.
Styles: What the hell is Bill Alfonso doing here?
Bauer: You seem to be asking that a lot tonight, Joey.
Styles: Well, first James Mitchell, now Bill Alfonso. I'm having a serious case of Deja Vu.
Alfonso leans down and blows his whistle right into Chris Benoit's ear. LOUDLY. (as if Alfonso knew any other way) Regal hops down and looks at Alfonso before rolling Benoit into the ring.
Styles: Benoit is holding his ear...
Regal does a series of knee lifts that put Benoit on his back. Regal goes for the cover...
Styles: Bill Alfonso has cost Chris Benoit a shot at the NWA Midwestern Championship!!!
WINNER: William Regal, who advances to the finals against Batista. 82/77/87
Styles: Benoit will not be happy when he comes around!!!