Seriously. There's this guy I met in college. He graduated a couple of years ago and here's where the trouble begins.

So the guy's going to be 26 in August and the dude is only working part time at Kroger for maybe $7 an hour and I would suspect probably closer to $6.80 or something. He won't work full time and when they have him come in for anything more than 20 hours in a week he'll whine and whine about it like you won't believe. He doesn't even apply for other jobs and won't apply for anything outside of the town he lives in. This is part of the issue as there aren't jobs for someone with his degree in this town. He's also still living at home and he's not trying at all to find his own place and he's never lived away from home. He's also a boozer and he's gaining weight at an alarming weight. The current joke running around our circles is that he's found all the weight I've lost over the last year. This is an issue for him because he doesn't exercise and he doesn't have the drive to push himself physically enough to make weight loss a possibility.

We've been on his case for a solid 2 years now about how he's in his mid 20s and needs to get his shit together. I know I'm living at home currently but I've at least lived on my own for 2 1/2 years.

He's also become an ass in general. He can't be happy for anyone else. He either bashes them or whines about how unfair it is that they're successful and he's not.

I just don't know what to do with him anymore and I think maybe I should just cut my losses on the friendship at this point.

I'd say if you don't enjoy his company, don't be around him. I really don't see how his life choices are anyone else's business, so you should all get off his case about that, and if you can't, yeah, just stop hanging around him.

I'd say don't necessarily "cut him off"...just distance yourself from him. If he's a regular Hang Out Buddy, skip calling him next time a Hang Out comes up. I never completely cut myself off from people, regardless of their level of dorkitude or annoyance.

I have two friends who sound like him, though. One's a chic I met in college about 10 years ago. She was cuter than fuck back then..but always lazy and looking for the easy way. Now, she lives with her folks, smokes alot, added about 50 pounds and whines about not finding a good job. We still keep in touch, but only hang out or do Active Friend Stuff about once or twice a year.

The other person sounds identical to your bud. He's my best friend's little bro. He just turned 21, has no ambition and is the unofficial town drunk. He works part time jobs-- kitchen crew, pizza delivery, etc. Kinda' like AJ Soprano.. without the mob ties. My buddy's on him like a hawk, though and got him to at least enroll in the community college.

Here's the shitty thing about getting up in the years: after awhile, you only see your friends for stuff like weddings, baby showers, funerals and the like. So if you haven't seen someone in years, it's not necessarily the end of a friendship.

Mostly because he wouldn't do shit unless someone nagged him to the point where he did it. He wouldn't even have a job or have graduated from college unless we had been on his case constantly about it.

Yeah, we do a lot less with him now. He just can't relate to us that well anymore. It's like running into a high school buddy 5 years after the fact and them having not changed at all.

I know what you mean MD. I have a friend that is 25, lives at home, doesn't work or do ANYTHING outside of smoking weed and watching wrestling. Although I enjoy those things too..............I actually do shit with my life (or I'm ATTEMPTING to). You either have to figure out if it's worth the aggrivation to hang out with him or not. I wouldn't tell the dude to go fuck himself or anything but I agree with ES on this.......distance yourself a bit.

I guess to repeat a little of what Es said, I think being old and married has changed my perspective on friends. I just don't have time in my life for a "friend" to cause me those kind of hassles. The people I hang out with now are mostly there because I have a gig and they happen to be there. I would never question what any of them are doing with their lives. When they stop being fun, I just go back home to my wife. So yeah, maybe my perspective is a little different.

I have cut people off before. A couple of my friends after high school started hitting the booze really hard and I essentially told them to call me once they sobered up.

A ton of people I know from home are basically stuck in a loop, smoking, drinking, and living at home, still beating the shit out of eachother, buying guns and cars they can't afford, and being dickheads. The best thing you can do is just say the hell with it and get rid of him, because he's probably not changing anytime soon.

My cousin is the same way. He's 23, 10 days older than me. He lives at home, doesn't have a job and didn't finish high school. He spends most of his days playing XBox. I've been begging him to go to college, but he won't even try. Not even community college.
The big problem is the fact that his parents won't do anything about him. They whine and bitch about him not being anything, but they won't do anything else. The magic button is to make home life SOOOO uncomfortable that it's easier to move out. My aunt won't try that, though, because she thinks kicking/forcing him out makes her a bad mom.

I'm stuck with mine, but if I weren't, I'd go my own way

So my friend and I were discussing this earlier. And we pinned it down on what his problem is and we decided it's just entitlement. He thinks he's entitled to a good job, a good looking wife and all of that shit without working for any of it. We both agreed that we were really happy that he's too stupid to figure out how to get on welfare.

What kind of degree does he have?

If you think he's entitled to a good job... then, I'm guessing he tried before for other jobs pertaining to his field and got turned down? Because I don't think working at Walmart would make him happy.

I'll go against everyone here, and be supportive of this guy.
I've known people worse than this... who don't work, just have hs education, that's the worst. Just having any type of degree should get him some $10~ job at a temp place, or something. Even if he bitches that he only wants part-time, it's at least some improvement. Just try to drag him out of his rut. Depression sucks.

What exactly is a $10 hour job at a temp place of something?

Cause I have a degree, and I'm stuck bartending and shit. For less.

Staffing agencies usually dish them out. Basic office work. We had a temp do order entry for us, about two years ago.

I got an office job through a temp place, after I got my first associate's. Basic data entry/customer service/phones and such.

I was in a somewhat similar position as Mad Dog's friend, thinking a 30k+ job would just fall in my lap, putting in a few applications now and then for those types of jobs... and eventually it led to depression, finding out that ANY job pertaining to my Business degree wasn't coming my way.

That lowly office temp job I had gave me the experience to take a pretty good paying job at my college... which led to the job I'm very lucky to have today.

He applied to one place pretaining to his degree. For awhile we were even bringing him places to apply to and he wouldn't do it. I think at one point a place even offered him 25-30k but he wouldn't move.

So just an update. My friend is getting married in December and this ass won't stop complaining about it. Despite the fact that everyone else in the wedding party knows the guy getting married better he's convinced he should be the best man because he's known him longest. So now he's pissing the guy off and it's just typical of him anymore. He can't be happy for anyone, everything's just about him.

This seems to be the ongoing trend with some friends of mine too since a couple other friends got hitched.

It's just dumb. In this case anyone with half a brain knew that it wasn't even a question of who the best man would be. I think he's going to end up getting himself uninvited before December gets here. He's on the edge of that right now and he'll get worse with time. But I'll make it clear that if he does anything to ruin the day for our friend that I'll beat him to within an inch of his life.

I sent out the same threats myself to a couple of our idiot friends during one of my buddies weddings. The sad thing is I purposely pulled out of being in the wedding myself because I didn't want shit like that to happen. I attended and everything and pretty much did everything everyone else got to do........without actually BEING in the wedding.

I'm going to tell him a few weeks before and then pull him aside the day of the wedding and tell him that if he does anything to piss my friend off that I will hurt him. I'm the one planning the bachelor party and I think I might just forget to invite him to that.

By the way, if the bachelor party was anything like my friends..........you guys are in for a hell of a time.

I'm renting a cabin and telling everyone to bring a tv and their X-Box. So booze and video games probably for 48 hours nonstop.

No hookers/strippers?

Wow. That's weak.

It was requested that there be no strippers so I planned accordingly. We as a group don't get together very often anymore so it'll be good for us to hang out as a group and just goof off in general.

My bachelor party was me and my dorky friends watching Alien vs. Predator.

Unless you include the week before, which was my cousin (Who's like my brother) my best friend and I playing Zelda on SNES and going to a Reds game. Best week of my pre-married life

OK, I'll fess up. My bachelor party was the night before my wedding. I say to my friends, "Umm, aren't we supposed to do a bachelor party or something?" They all look at each other with that confused look. So we basically go out to eat and go home and watch Con-Air.

Well, my friends bachelor party was fucking insane. Three stipper chicks, a whole bunch of weed and alcohol, and shitloads of drunk ass dudes. A few people got blown, I got drunk as fuck, a couple of MMA fights broke out (yeah, I swear. There were a couple of dudes there that are actually being trained in MMA), and an actual fight broke out. Not bad for one night of debautchery if I say so myself.

Skip the video games. Please. I will never talk comic books with again if you end up playing video games in a cabin and calling it a bachelor party.

Coolest thing we ever did was go to a paintball arena. That ruled. But the groom was on the police force and the "friends from work" were all SWAT officers. We got destroyed. Then we went to dinner and a strip club....five of us had a "Boy Scouts reunion" at the strip club. Hilarious.

Another cool gimmick was having a bunch of Mardi Gras beads. It was actually the bride's idea, but we all had a buncha' beads and went out to dinner. Chics would come up to you and ask for beads and you could pull off all sorts of wacky stuff. We started at a restaurant and never made it to the strip clubs. Went bar hopping and met so many chics that it was better than a strip club. Ended up with four of 'em in our hotel room. Would have been fun...but as soon as we got in, the bride's crew from next door came in. The party girls all left immediately, but I hooked up with someone in the bridal party.

If you do end up at a strip club, don't tell them that you're in a bachelor party. Especially the asshole DJ's. Every club has some stupid pre-planned routine where they take the groom up on stage and try to embarass him, etc. It's lame.

Worst bachelor party was "meet at some guy's house, watch Nuggets game on TV, then go to a strip club". I wasn't real close friends with the guy, but we spent FOUR fucking hours at Some Guy's House--listening to him read jokes from MAXIM. Guys laughing at the dumbest shit and praising the reader by saying: "Bwahaha! Read it again! Read it again!" Had to literally pry these dweebs away from the MAXIM readings and get them to the club. Spent maybe one hour at the strip club.

When we got to the club, the best man took up a collection for the "special bachelor party treatment"...then pocketed the money for his own self. If I ever see that prick again, I'll beat the living shit out of him. That's not cool at all.

Thank you eStragand. FINALLY someone knows the fucking deal here.

So an update on this guy. I guess he decided he's going to move up to the big city. He's talking like it's going to be one non-stop party every night of the week. He also thinks he's just going to get a job at Kroger and be able to live off of that. I don't even know if he's planning to work full time since he whines about working 24 hours a week all the time. My other friend tried to convince him to move into his area as he can get some decent jobs with his degree but of course he said no. He essentially spent good money on 6 years of college to work at Kroger for the rest of his life.

And he's not good with money either. He currently has no expenses and spends every penny he has on booze and eating out all the time.

The older you get, the more you realize that people are fucking stupid. They make horrible decisions, bitch constantly, and never do anything to get out of their rut. It sucks.

I have a friend who literally hasn't worked in about 4 years. He does nothing, lives with his parents, and at the most gets out of the house twice a week to play in a Basketball league that his parents PAID for. Pretty fucking sad, because he's a smart kid and he's a decent enough person. What can you do though?

We've tried to explain to him that it's not a party. This is the thing that gets me about this guy. Everyone he knows has friends higher in the pecking order yet he expects you to hang out with him more than friends who you're closer with. I've even asked him why I would hang out with him on a nightly basis when I hang out with my best friend maybe twice a month these days?