WWF March to WrestleMania VIII: A Tribute to Hulk Hogan
- As usual for the WWF From around 1990-1995, here's a special episode of PrimeTime Wrestling (and later years Monday Night Raw) for one final hype job for the big WrestleMania show coming out later in the week. In this case, the show is focused more on Hulk Hogan, who might or might not retire after WrestleMania, where he faces Sid Justice in one-half of the Double Main Events. Vince McMahon hosts the show from a studio lined up with lifesized photos of Hogan. Tonight we'll be seeing some of Hogan's biggest matches at WrestleMania and then-some....
- WWF World Championship Match:
Hulk Hogan © vs. Andre The Giant (w/ Bobby Heenan) ---- from WrestleMania III:
Commentary is handled by Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby Heenan, probably because Ventura was suing them over using his voice, or maybe because Ventura signed with WCW recently to do commentary. It's your pick. I'll spare the detailed PBP for this match, since I've already reviewed this one about 6 times already. Heenan still insists that Andre pinned Hogan at the start when Hogan failed to slam him. Monsoon tries stirring shit 5 years later by pointing out Heenan walked away from Andre, who was looking for advice. Heenan blames Andre not being a champion because he didn't listen to him, and runs down Andre for being stupid and not understanding english. Heenan makes fun of Bob Uecker for saying Andre didn't have a chance against Hogan. Monsoon works in some jokes now, ragging on Heenan's waiter suit from that night, and Heenan comes back saying he might wear it for WrestleMania VIII. Monsoon: I thought you had that dry-cleaned and burned. In one of the funnier "not intentional" moments, Monsoon pimps the WrestleMania Hotline during Andre's boring bearhug spot. Heenan: Is it possible I can call collect? I left my wallet in my other pants. Monsoon: You left your wallet in another life! We're at the finish of the match... you know the deal. Hogan slams Andre, then drops the leg for the three count at around the 12:00 mark. 1/2* Same rating as always. The match was probably the most important in the history of the WWF at that point, and it's possibly the worst WrestleMania Main Event in terms of actual wrestling. I'd give extra points based on the new commentary, but that wouldn't be fair to the other 50 times I've watched it.
- Highlights from SummerSlam '91, where Hogan does his usual posedown, then invites special referee Sid Justice to join him. Fast forward to the 1992 Rumble, and Sid eliminates Hogan from behind... too SUPER-CANNED HEEL HEAT. The live crowd actually cheered Sid's actions, and boo'ed Hogan. Now to the Press Conference to determine the #1 Contender, and Sid gets pissy because Hogan was named Flair's opponent. TUNNEY'S DECISION WAS BOGUS!!! Clips from Saturday Night's Main Event, where Sid walked out on Hogan and officially turned heel. Later that week on the Barber Shop, Sid Justice turns faces in the smarks eyes by smashing up the set and generally scaring the shit out of Brutus Beefcake. EVEN MORE EVIL ACTS! He "breaks the nose" of Virgil on an episode of SuperStars. MORE CLIPS! From the 2/23/92 MSG... it's the entire match!
- Hercules vs. Sid Justice (w/ Dr. Harvey Wippleman):
Hercules was still a heel here, but was on his way out at the time, and spent time wrestling other heels like the Barbarian and the Warlord (in losing efforts) on Primetime Wrestling. Justice had recently turned heel at the first ever Saturday Night's Main Event on FOX, setting up his match with Hogan at Wrestlemania. I never really got the reason behind WWF calling him Sid "Justice", but I guess NWA suddenly owned the name "Vicious." Really, after turning heel, how could he be Sid "Justice", since that name was conditioned for a babyface? Justice runs down Hercules for being a loser before the match, and gives him the chance to take a hike. Hercules responds by punching Sid in the face a few times, sending Sid outside. The chase is on, and Justice makes short work of Hercules, hammering away, booting him in the midsection and nailing the powerbomb for three at 0:26. Hercules, by the way, made sure to protect his head on the way down, and absolutely no sells it after the pin is made. DUD, for those who really need to know what kind of a rating a match that doesn't even last 30 seconds gets.
- "Rowdy" Roddy Piper vs. Shawn Michaels (w/ Sensational Sherri):
Wow, remember when Michaels was considered a warm-up for Champions? Both men have matches set for WrestleMania VIII: Piper defends the IC Title against Bret Hart, and Michaels gets to go over WrestleMania's Biggest Jobber, Tito Santana. This is Non-Title, so everyone can be fooled into thinking Michaels will actually pin Piper. Plenty of stalling to start, including Sherri looking up Piper's skirt and Piper smacking her ass. Shoving from both men, then slapping, instigated by Shawn Michaels of course, since only wussy men start SLAP FIGHTS. Piper wins that contest easily, by the way. Michaels with a side headlock, and he comes off the ropes with a cross body. Piper revers the momentum for a two count. Michaels comes back with a victory roll for another two count. Michaels misses a dropkick, and Piper slingshots him into the post for a two count. Sherri gets on the apron, so Piper gives her a big wet one as we go to a commercial. We come back with Michaels clotheslining Piper over the top rope to the floor. Michaels sends Piper into the steps, then comes off the apron with a sledge to the back of the head. Piper no-sells and now it's a BRAWL! Back into the ring, and Michaels hammers away with rights, followed by boots to the midsection. Reverse chinlock time! Piper fights free with elbows, but he runs into a reverse crescent kick. No pin, since this was before anyone sold the move like it was death. Piper tries for his tear-drop suplex thing, but Piper pokes him in the eyes. They exchange punches, with Piper winning that again. Michaels gets whipped onto the buckle, and Piper kicks him off, crotching Michaels across the top rope. Michaels eats buckle again, but the referee gets taken out during a bulldog attempt. Sherri tosses her high heel boot to Michaels (...), and nails Piper between the eyes. No referee, no count. Out comes Bret Hart now, and he tosses the boot to Piper. He whiffs on his shot at Michaels, and the revived referee calls for the DQ at 8:06, awarding the match to Shawn Michaels. BOO! After the match, Piper and Bret have words, because we all know it was face miscommunication. I can't say I didn't enjoy this match, even if it had a cheap finish (which loses points from the rating) and wasn't very long. Plus the crowd was REALLY into it, judging by the crowd's movements. (**3/4)
- Randy Savage/Ric Flair Recap. The match was already scheduled before an angle began, but that was a smart move, when you really think about it. Flair, the arrogant dickhead, wanted to get into Savage's mind, and used Elizabeth as his pawn, by exposing "photos" of them, trying to insinuate they had a relationship before she "married" Randy. Knowing that Savage was a hot-head that couldn't control his actions, this was the perfect way to get at him. Too bad we never got to see the Centerfold at WrestleMania VIII that Flair promised.
- Ric Flair (w/ Mr. Perfect) vs. "Jumping" Jim Brunzell:
Onto the squash matches, I guess. This is obviously a Non-Title match, considering that Brunzell is nowhere close to being a contender to any championship. 14 years later, Ric Flair just finished a 5-month long reign as Intercontinental Champion and is wrestling in Ladder Matches. For those that care about this sort of thing, Brunzell has some fruity rainbow colored underpants on. Lockup into the corner, and Brunzell gives a clean break. WOO! Lockup #2, and Flair applies a side headlock. Irish whip to escape, and Flair puts him down with a shoulder block. Brunzell comes back with a hip toss, slam, and a side headlock takeover. Flair takes it into the corner, and we get a clean break(!). Flair with a thumb to the eyes, followed by chops in the corner. WRESTLEMANIA HOTLINE PLUG! (Monsoon: When have you ever heard of a 900 number that you can call collect? Heenan: Then lend me $1.49. Monsoon: Get lost! Heenan: You dead beat...) Back to the match... Flair with a back suplex, followed by a knee drop across the forhead for a two count. Flair with an atomic drop, and a WOO! Brunzell comes back with rights in the corner. Irish whip across the ring, and Brunzell with a back drop. Irish whip, and it's the MOST ELECTRIFYING DROPKICK IN SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT for a two count. Brunzell applies a sleeper hold, but Flair escapes, connects with an atomic knee drop, and the Figure-Four ends it at 3:58. Pretty competitive for a squash match, so I can grade it a bit more fairly. Fun for what it was, but still too short. (*1/2)
- Vince McMahon with a very special at-home edition interview with the lovely Mrs. Macho (I swear, that's what they were calling Randy and her after SummerSlam '91). Probably the longest Elizabeth interview in her entire WWF run, which consisted of getting yelled at by Randy, saying two words and getting yelled at by Randy, or just being a low talker. The short and sweet version: Flair's photos are fake, Randy and her will prove that they're fake, blah blah blah, bling bling bling, blah.
- Title for Title Match:
Hulk Hogan vs. The Ultimate Warrior ---- From WrestleMania VI:
Once again, new commentary is added into the match, with Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby Heenan. This is the FOURTH version of the match I have with different commentary and probably the 6th or 7th copy period: The original, with Monsoon and Lord Alfred, this, and the one where they just took out Ventura's commentary. Again, I've reviewed this too many times to begin with, so you won't be getting detailed PBP. Monsoon and Heenan spend the entrances hyping up Savage/Flair for WrestleMania VIII, then move onto Hogan/Sid. It's really not the same watching this match with commentary using it as a background to hype the upcoming WrestleMania. Another Hotline Plug while Hogan walks around outside the ring, trying to sell a knee injury (Heenan: I managed to scrape up 49 cents, can you loan me the other buck?). And now for the usual make fun of Canadians line (Heenan: These people amaze me here in Toronto. You hear them counting to 10? I'm surprised they can do that... eh?). We take a commercial break after both go down with the double clothesline spot. Monsoon accuses Heenan of being a pick-pocket, so Heenan goes through a detailed rant about how one time he was trying to find somones number in a guys pocket, but it ended up being in his wallet. Fast forward time, because I'm getting lazy... and Heenan talks about two Canadian sisters he met, allowing Monsoon to work in his "Will you stop!?!" line. Hulk Up time, leg drop misses, and Warrior splashes for the cover and the World Title at 22:39. Probably Warrior's best match up until this point, and it really shows that Hogan was capable of pulling a good match out of a slug's ass if he wanted to. Yes, the entire match was planned out it advance, but the entire pace was controlled by Hogan, and he conveniently has to go to resting every few minutes because Warrior was gassed about 90 seconds into the match and thus couldn't do much other than suck the wind out of the first 40 rows. After the match, Hogan presents Warrior with the World Title, which seems to be the passing of the torch. Too bad the Warrior tanked as champion and Hogan was brought back into the picture for another reign, making this pointless by the next year. (***1/4)
- Now it's time to hype up Undertaker/Roberts with more Flashbacks! After Saturday Night's Main Event went off the air, the Undertaker prevented Roberts from using a steel chair on Savage and Elizabeth. A few weeks later on the Funeral Parlor, Roberts questioned whose side the Undertaker was on. His reponse was short and simple: "Not yours." Roberts responded by slamming the coffin on Undertaker's hand, DDT'ing Paul Bearer, and smacking the Undertaker around with a steel chair. Just incase you couldn't guess, Undertaker no-sold everything like he usually does.
- Jake "The Snake" Roberts vs. Jim Powers:
Another squash, but at least they brought out the Jobber All-Stars for this episode. Random comment: Jake's heel theme music was kick-ass, and the "Trust me" line is something I can't help but use when I'm lying my ass off. I doubt many people even remember the line comes from wrestling, espescially since it hasn't been used for 14 years. Roberts with a wristlock to start, and into the armbar. Powers ecapes with a hip toss, and backs Roberts down into the corner. Powers with a standing side headlock, and keeps it applied despite several irish whip escape attempts. Roberts with a back suplex, but again Powers keeps it applied. Irish whip to escape finally, and Roberts side steps Powers, causing him to fly over the top rope. That's what you get for teaming with Paul Roma. Back into the ring, and Roberts pounds away on Powers with his signature jabs. Powers ducks the short-arm clothesline(!) and hammers away with rights. ANOTHER HOTLINE PLUG! (Heenan: I got a buck now, give me 49 cents (Monsoon refuses) Boy are you tight...) Irish whip to the corner, but Roberts is playing possum, and nails the clothesline. Roberts connects with the DDT, and if you bet on Powers getting up, you'd be out of money. Roberts with the pin at 3:07 (Heenan: I wish he would DDT Mike McGirk on an escelator) Decent for a squash, but not as good as Flair/Brunzell from earlier in the show. (3/4*)
- The Natural Disasters vs. Kato & Barry Horowitz:
I wonder if the All-Star Jobber Team has a chance... and what's with Horowitz teaming up with these ''Japanese'' guys? First Kato, then Hakushi, and probably that other Japanese dude in WCW during 1999. The Disasters have a date with Money Inc. for the Tag Team Titles at WrestleMania VIII, so here they get to have a warm-up match. Kato and Typhoon lockup into the coner. Kato with a rake of the eyes and stomps to the midsection, but a hip toss doesn't wortk. Horowitz comes in to help, but Typhoon no-sells and clotheslines both down. Typhoon carries Kato into his corner, and Earthquake tags in to squash him. Earthquake with a powerslam, followed by an elbow drop. Horowitz tags in to try his luck, and is quickly put down with an atomic drop. Earthquake with a back breaker, and he calls for the end. THE VERTICAL SPLASH! Sadly, Typhoon doesn't do his Big Splash to complete the double team, so it's over at 1:58. Super-Squash, and not a very good one, either. (DUD)
Promotional Consideration paid for by the following... G.I. Joe action figures! The WWF Ring with DEMOLITON AND THE ROCKERS. Talk about being out-dated. Randy Savage pimping Slim Jims! Need a little excitment? Snap into a slim jim! Lord Alfred pimps Sneaker Tamers! WWF Super WrestleMania available on the Super NES!
- Vince McMahon with another very special interview, this time with the IMMORTAL HUUUUUULK HOGAN! This is unlike pretty much every Hogan interview ever at this point. No hollering "Wha'cha gonna do?!", no rambling like an idiot, and pretty much being as out of character as possible. Heck, he's not even wearing any Hulkster merchandise! A very humble Interview from Hogan, who at the time was considering retiring to spend time with his family and work on his film career. Obviously the latter failed, and money thrown left and right at him by WCW in 1994 brought him back in the gold full time again. Vince ends the Interview and the show thanking Hogan for what he's done for the WWF and the Hulkamaniacs.
Final Thoughts: A fun show overall, but the broadcasting of Andre/Hogan and Warrior/Hogan ate up a lot of time, and thus we got only one true "feature match" and a handful of extended squashes. The show did a good job hyping the card, showcasing all the top feuds and participants on the show, and using the time they had as best as possible without actually giving away main event matches. Oh yeah, and Heenan and Monsoon are once again gold on commentary. Thumbs up says I for March to WrestleMania VIII.