WWF @ Boston Garden - August 3rd, 1985


- Like the title of the review says, this is an arena show held at the Boston Garden, one of the many anual locations visited by the WWF throughout the 70's and 80's. Commentary is handled by the team of Gorilla Monsoon and Mean Gene Okerlund, which means we'll be hearing nothing but babyface praise and heel bashing all night. I like Okerlund the Interviewer, but he doesn't compliment Monsoon's style, so it's basically two guys going "oh yeah, that's right" instead of your usual Ventura or Heenan comeback. Random math fact: I was negative 26 days old when this show was originally broadcasted on NESN. Hurray for me!


- Opening Match: Jose-Luis Rivera vs. Les Thornton:
Interesting match to open the show with... I'm sure everyone at one point has seen JLR, who usually formed one half of the greatest tag team in wrestling: Los Conquistadors. Les Thornton is far less known to the general wrestling fan, and myself have no real knowledge of him other than he's from Manchester, England. All I've seen of him was being Mick Foley's partner during a match with the British Bulldogs in September '86. Since this is Bah-ston, I'm betting $50 that they shit on the match less than 5 minutes in because A.) neither guy is over, and B.) It'll probably suck anyway. Gorilla Monsoon notes on commentary that Thornton is the WWF Junior Heavyweight Champion? THE FUCK? The boring chants come into effect less than a minute into the match. That's your typical Bah-ston crowd. Lots of chinlocks, to the point you'd be confused that you're watching Backlund/Muraco from March 1983. Plenty of head scissors too, for those who like those. They go through a bunch of long rest spots, and I have no time to waste on this junk. This just keeps going and going like the retarded version of the Energizer Bunny. To the finish... Rivera springs off the middle ropes with a cross body, but Thornton reverses with the momentum and grabs a handful of ass for the three count at 12:34. That was so pointless and "going through the motions" as you can get, but more in the "this is so fucking boring" rather than "worst match ever." (DUD)


- George "The Animal" Steele vs. Tiger Chung Lee:
Oh crap... didn't I review this same pairing from the February 1986 Boston Show? Was there that much of a demand to see this so many times? Lou Albano (Steele's manager/handler/cheater) is absent for the match. I guess the managers didn't bother to show up again. Before the match, Steele tosses Lee's fruity shower sandles at him outside of the ring, rather than smash up his Kendo Stick like on 2/8/86. Much like every Steele match in the history of wrestling, this one doesn't consist much of anything other than punching and weird dancing. Chumley the Walrus stalls a lot (I'm sure not many people will get that name dropping), and Steele acts stupid. You know, the usual. Chung Lee manages to control the match for about a minute, but Steele comes back and nails Lee with a foreign object after being bothered during some eating of a turnbuckle, and that's good enough for the three count at 4:37. The foreign object appeared to be just a bunch of thick tape wrapped around a pencil or something. Well, at least the match was short is all I can say here, but it still sucked. (-*)


- George Wells vs. Brutus Beefcake:
Beefcake is missing Johnny Valiant, thus continuing the missing managers streak. Choice (and only) sign in the crowd: Brutus Fruitcake. Well, it was 1985 and it's Boston. Do you expect intelligent jokes? George Wells is announced as a former Canadian Football League star, but if he was any kind of star, he wouldn't be fucking wrestling, would he? Beefcake takes his sweet time to remove all of his entrance attire while Monsoon speculates why Beefcake was announced from Parts Unknown and is suddenly from San Francisco. Insert Gorilla's gay joke here, minus mentioning Terry Garvin or Pat Patterson. Wells controls early with football-stance charging shoulderblocks to the lower-body of Beefcake, sending him out of the ring. It doesn't take long for Beefcake to take over, and that lasts for a while. Beefcake works over the left arm of Wells after ramming it into the ring post. Not a terribly exciting match, but at least Beefcake spends the rest of the match working over the arm. Wells comes back, exchanging blows down on the canvas. Sadly, Wells doesn't bother selling the last 5 minutes of arm work. Wells with a goofy enziguri/head scissors move and a high knee. Wells misses a charge into the corner, and Beefcake nails a running high knee across the back, and that's all she wrote at 10:21. Feh... on one hand Beefcake carried the match. On the other, BEEFCAKE carried the match. The arm work was decent, but the lack of selling and the finish that didn't even include anything to do with the arm loses points. (3/4*)


- Pedro Morales vs. Mr. X:
Oh sweet Jesus in hell, this match is going to SUCK. Pedro Morales gets the best babyface reaction of the night, although considering everyone else sans Steele got boo'ed, that's not much of a compliment. Monsoon makes sure to remind us that Morales is a former World, Intercontinental, and Tag Team Champion, and really, that's all Morales had going for himself. He was a terrible wrestler and from what I've seen, rarely has shown any kind of charisma in the ring. Mr. X is, depending on who you want to believe, Danny Davis or some other chump. The first few minutes of the match includes a hip toss and LOTS of stalling. Mr. X continues stalling, as if he were being paid by the minute and refused to lose in 30 seconds. Morales takes control in the ring with an armbar, and Mr. X runs outside of the ring again to stall. If you love stalling, you'll love this match! Morales with a string of offensive manuevers, and not too much later, finishes Mr. X with the Boston Crab at 7:48, and only about 30 seconds of that was actual wrestling. I bet the crowd only cheered the finish because the move has the word "Boston" in it. Terrible, terrible, terrible match. This match would make everything from the Heroes of Wrestling show look good. (-**)


- "Mr. Wonderful" Paul Orndorff vs. "Rowdy" Roddy Piper:
Finally something I can appreciate and enjoy at the same time. I just hope neither of them are in a "half-assing" mood for this show. Just a quick recap... Piper blamed Orndorff for their loss at WrestleMania, Orndorff turned face and joined forces with Hogan, and now Orndorff wants to kick Piper's ass. That's the best kind of storyline: short, to the point, and violent. The crowd is really into this one, for the first time all night. Short, and simple, this one is going to be a fight, not a wrestling match. TABLE SPOT! Okay, so no tables are broken, but it still counts. Lots of brawling as expected, and Orndorff shows off his heel side and Piper's ass by yanking down Piper's trunks to take him down for a sunset flip. Piper and the referee argue a bit before Piper goes back to beating down Orndorff. Piper applies a Sleeper hold, the first wrestling hold done all match. Orndorff surprises Piper with a head scissors, but Piper manages to float over into a cover. Orndorff bridges out at a two count, and they spill outside of the ring, where they continue to brawl. Orndorff bashes Piper with a weapon, but instead it's a Double Count-Out at 7:52. Afterwards, Piper clotheslines Orndorff from behind and nails the referee just for the hell of it. Orndorff quickly goes after Piper outside the ring and hammers on him up the aisle until both men are out of site. Fun brawl and outside the sleeper hold spot, not a bit boring. I could've done without the lame finish, but this was 1980's Roddy Piper, who rarely ever jobbed clean back then. (**1/2)


- Salvatore Bellomo vs. "Macho Man" Randy Savage:
This is really early in Savage's run in the WWF. One notable example is he doesn't have Elizabeth with him yet, and on the Capital Center show a week or so later, was announced as the "Hottest free agent in wrestling", or something along those lines. Savage gets a better face reaction than Bellomo, who appears to be having choice words with someone in the crowd, and give the "under chin thrust" gesture a handful of times. Savage still has the old "Memphis heel" character going through his system, taking forever to undress and spends some time outside of the ring to hassle fans. Referee for the match appears to be a mop-topped Danny Davis. Save also doesn't have his signature bald-spot yet, for you Nacho Man fans who just need to know. The match is boring enough that Monsoon and Okerlund go back down memory lane to remember who invented the Full Nelson. Savage beating the crap out of Bellomo's pasta eating ass outside of the ring is worth a mention. Savage with a double axehandle to the outside, and back in the ring Savage finishes Bellomo off with his signature top rop elbow drop at 9:16. Not much of a match, but it was OK when it wasn't Bellomo sucking or Savage stalling. (*)


- "Quick Draw" Rick McGraw vs. Terry Funk:
Yes, the guys nickname really was "Quick Draw." I wonder how the WWF got out of paying Hanna-Barbera for that obvious copyright stealing. This is also early in Terry Funk's rather short run with the WWF. Too bad Mel Phillips isn't around to get an ass-kicking again for being a pedophile. Once again, McGraw is a decent and rather stocky wrestler, but his lack of height probably kept him from behind pushed any further up the card than being someone's whooping boy. The referee once again is Danny Davis. Pretty much like every match of the night, Funk plays the cowardly heel, except he plays it more with a "this guy isn't all there" character. Decent match overall, since Terry Funk is pretty good at working a crowd compared to Mr. X or Tiger Chung Lee, but there's far too much resting going on for my liking. The crowd spends a lot of the time between resting to chant "JYD" at Terry Funk. They had an angle going at the time of course, and actually Funk's only angle, since he vanished pretty quickly after his feud with Junkyard Dog ended. After nearly 3-minutes of stalling while McGraw stood around outside the ring, the action finally resumes. McGraw gets in some token offense for a couple of near falls, but Terry Funk remains in control, since he was part of one of the top feuds in the company at that point. To the finish... McGraw takes Funk down with an airplane spin, but a cross body press only gets a two count. Funk catches McGraw coming off the ropes with a Sleeper Hold, and it's Good Night, Irene at a much too lengthy 13:40. Yes, I know that was Adrian Adonis' finishing move, but I don't care. I like saying that. After the match, Funk does his traditional branding of an opponent. At least it looks better than Justin Bradshaw's shoe-polish branding jobs from 1996. McGraw comes to afterwards and chases Funk from the ring with the branding iron in question. VANILLA MIDGET RETRIBUTION at Boston Garden! (*1/4)


- Ricky Steamboat & The Junkyard Dog vs. The Magnificent Muraco & Mr. Fuji:
I guess you could say this is one really disappointing main event to close out the show. They should've switched places with this and the Piper/Orndorff match from earlier in the card. The angle going here was between Steamboat and Muraco/Fuji, with JYD being the "I need a partner so I choose this guy over here eating a donut and snorting cocaine" partner. That reminds me... why didn't they have a Steamboat/Muraco blowoff at WrestleMania 2? They were still feuding through February of '86, so it would've made more sense than Steamboat/Hercules. If this were just Steamboat vs. Muraco, it might have a chance to reach the 4-star barrier, but the addiction of Junkyard Dog and Mr. Fuji kinda cripples my hopes a little bit. Cheap bastards WWE clips out the entrance for Steamboat and JYD, because they have to pay for Queen's "Another One Bites the Dust" and Steamboat's "Chicago Bulls Intro Music." The faces beat the piss out of both Muraco and Fuji for the first 4-5 minutes until Steamboat gets to play the face-in-peril. The heels work over Steamboat pretty well and cheat whenever possible. Death spot of the match comes with them sharing time to apply vulcan nerve pinches. Have I ever mentioned how much I hate that fucking move? Oh well, I guess it's better than the Titty-Twister Sika gave to Hulk Hogan at the October '87 Saturday Night's Main Event. Back to the match, and Steamboat continues to play dead. JYD finally gets the hot tag after 5 minutes of Steamboat getting his ass kicked. Steamboat comes back inb and beats the shit out of Muraco. Pissed-off Steamboat is always awesomr to see. Fuji gets to play whooping old man, and Steamboat finishes him off rather quickly with the top rope cross body press at 11:55. After the match, Steamboat gets a face-full of salt, but nothing else happens. Pfft... Muraco would've beat the crap out of him and hung him with his black-belt like he did on Championship Wrestling a few weeks later, not run away like a pussy. Fun match with a pretty good tag-formula psychology going on, but it could've done with another 4-5 minutes to build up. The opening babyfaces thrash the heels and the heels destroy a babyface segments ate up a lot of time, leaving the finish to be rather rushed. (***)


Final Thoughts: Outside of a couple of good matches in the form of Piper vs. Orndorff and the Tag Match at the end, this show really fucking sucks. It was cool to see Savage and Funk during the early days of their runs at the time, but both matches were nothing to write home about. The less said about the first half of the show the better, especially since a Brutus Beefcake carry-job couldn't break the 1-star barrier, and was easily the best match of the first hour. Strong Recommendation to Avoid, but for a Rarities kind of guy, knock yourself out.

Looks like kind of a fun show to me...............and Scrooge you need to see some Pedro Morales stuff from the 70's, by the time this show happened he was HELLA washed up.

C'mon and see, see, see...Tennessee Tuxedo!

Oh, and Les Thornton played Checkmate in World Class. He did several appearances in the NWA around the South, as well.

Washed up is probably being nice. From the handful of stuff I've seen of him from the mid 80's, he makes the Giant Gonzalez look good. :P

In the 70's he was a super fuckin babyface...........and his comeback's were pretty cool when he was champion.

It's a little hard to come across stuff from the 70's, so my only bets on seeinhis stuff from then is probably on the History of the World and IC Title Coliseum Videos.

There's people that have his 70's stuff, although rare, if you know where to look for it you can find a good deal of it.