Okay, the other thread is big, long, and intimidating. Basically, what you need to know is that in September 2003, Ernie Rowe somehow became the guy in charge of the WWE Creative Team. So in terms of this diary, forget everything you know that has happened in the WWE from Summerslam 2003 and on.

And you should also know that Rowe helped WWE win a countersuit against the World Wildlife Fund, and the company has gone back to being the World Wrestling Federation. It was a time of great happiness.

The last diary ended with WrestleMania 23. This new one is going to start in August 2007, about five months later. Quite a bit has gone on between diaries.

John Cena returned to the Smackdown brand in April. Rhyno, the reigning WWF Champion, was a newly turned face who was battling Don Callis and his evil stable consisting of AJ Styles, Matt Stryker, Low Ki, and Rodney Mack. Since Rhyno had no friends among the faces, Rhyno needed back-up and called in his old pal, John Cena. In July, Smackdown brought back the Great American Bash pay-per-view, where Cena showed his true colors by turning on Rhyno and declaring that he wanted a shot at the WWF Championship.

Rey Mysterio came back from his injury, but has sort of been lost in the shuffle in his first months back. He was unsuccessful in his attempts to catch the United States and Cruiserweight titles.

Simon Diamond beat Paul London for the United States title at a house show on April Fool's Day. This was meant to cause a rattle in the IWC, since many fans thought it was a joke.

Kid Kash and Johnny Stamboli both went down with injuries during this time. Neither man is expected to return to WWF television. Alex Arion also tore his triceps, but he should be back by the time this diary begins.

AJ Styles suffered a minor hand injury in late May, but only missed the weekend house shows and an episode of Smackdown.

Matt Hardy and Tommy Dreamer were both released from their contracts after many months of low morale. Developmental workers Mike Kruel and Jason Lee were also released.

Paul Heyman had to step back from managing Bryan Danielson due to a triceps injury.

Samoa Joe made his Smackdown debut on May 3rd. He beat Sonjay Dutt in a squash match. Joe has quickly risen up the ranks on Smackdown, winning the King of the Ring tournament in June and facing Kurt Angle at the Great American Bash in July.

Other tidbits:

Charlie Haas jumped over to Raw shortly before WrestleMania. He formed a heel/face tag team with Frank Shamrock. They captured the World Tag Team Championship on the Raw before King of the Ring.

Steve Corino headed over to Smackdown after being exhiled from Raw. He got lost in the shuffle on Smackdown, but did befriend Shelton Benjamin, who was also lost after his tag partner left for Raw.

Chris Jericho became a part timer on Raw, taking Corino's spot at WrestleMania. However, Jericho's responsibilities in Japan caught up with him and he had to back out of his pay-per-appearance contract.

As a result of Jericho leaving Raw, Corino used a claus in his contract allowing him to have his old spot back. He brought Shelton Benjamin to Raw with him.

Funaki was moved to Raw.

Doug and Danny Basham moved to Raw after their Smackdown contract expired.

Danny Doring was released from his contract.

On the last episode of Smackdown, Don Callis fired Orlando Jordan.

Title changes:

Simon Diamond won the U.S. title from Paul London on 4/1.

Low Ki and newcomer Christopher Idol beat Chad Collyer and Paul London to win the WWF Tag Team Championship on the August 1st edition of Smackdown. Low Ki was a substitute for Ace Steel, Idol's usual partner.

John Jeter won the Intercontinental Championship from Adam Hastey at Backlash.

Lance Storm won the Intercontinental Championship from Jeter two weeks after Backlash, on an episode of Raw. Storm's former partner, Justin Credible, realized that his career had stalled since betraying Storm. Credible wanted to make things up to Storm, so he arranged himself to be the referee of the title match. Credible screwed Jeter out of the title, despite Storm not wanting him to.

CM Punk beat Chris Benoit for the World Heavyweight Championship at the King of the Ring, cashing in on his Money in the Bank title shot.

Chris Benoit won the World title back from CM Punk at Fully Loaded.

Jamie Noble won the U.S. title from Simon Diamond at the Great American Bash.

You STILL haven't signed him. GOD DAMMIT ROWE, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE FOR THE PEOPLE!

In the break between diaries, Backlash, Judgment Day, King of the Ring, Fully Loaded, and Great American Bash were held on pay-per-view. Here are the results:

Backlash
April 22nd 2007

Heat: Lance Storm beat Rob Conway

Hurricane, Shannon Moore, and Billy Kidman beat Kid Romeo, Test, and Chris Chetti in a tables match

Christian beat Julio Dinero

CM Punk beat Brian Kendrick

Women's Champion Jazz beat Trish Stratus

Charlie Haas beat Frank Shamrock

John Jeter beat Adam Hastey to win the Intercontinental Championship

Bryan Danielson beat Shawn Michaels

World Champion Chris Benoit beat Randy Orton

Judgment Day
May 20th 2007

Heat: Samoa Joe beat J.R. Ryder

Kurt Angle wrestled Low Ki to a 30 minute draw

Jay and Mark Briscoe beat Steve Corino and Shelton Benjamin

U.S. Champion Simon Diamond beat Johnny Stamboli

John Cena beat Rodney Mack

Cruiserweight Champion JC Ice beat Kazarian, Scoot Andrews, and Jamie Noble

WWF Tag Team Champions Chad Collyer and Paul London beat AJ Styles and Matt Stryker

WWF Champion Rhyno beat Sean O'Haire (with Trent Acid)

King of the Ring
June 17th 2007

Heat: Christopher Idol beat Kazarian

Shawn Michaels, Brian Kendrick, and Julio Dinero beat Randy Orton, Bryan Danielson, and Christian

KOTR Semifinal: John Jeter beat Lance Storm

KOTR Semifinal: Samoa Joe beat Jamie Noble

World Tag Team Champions Frank Shamrock and Charlie Haas beat Adam Hastey and Austin Lee, Kid Romeo and Chris Chetti, and Hurricane and Shannon Moore

U.S. Champion Simon Diamond beat John Cena, and Rey Mysterio

WWF Champion Rhyno beat Low Ki, AJ Styles, and Kurt Angle

KOTR Finals: Samoa Joe beat John Jeter

CM Punk beat Chris Benoit to win the World Championship

Fully Loaded
July 15th 2007

Heat: Julio Dinero beat BJ Whitmer

Women's Champion Jazz beat Erica Porter

Brian Kendrick beat Christian

Rob Conway and Randy Orton beat Doug and Danny Basham

World Tag Team Champions Charlie Haas and Frank Shamrock beat Shelton Benjamin and Steve Corino

Bryan Danielson beat Shawn Michaels

Intercontinental Champion Lance Storm beat Justin Credible, and John Jeter

Kid Romeo and Chris Chetti beat Hurricane and Shannon Moore

Chris Benoit beat CM Punk to win the World title

Great American Bash
July 29th 2007

Heat: Jimmy Rave and Nova beat Rodney Mack and Reno

John Cena beat Matt Stryker

Ryan Wing won a 10 man battle royal

Jamie Noble beat Simon Diamond to win the U.S. title.

Cruiserweight Champion JC Ice beat Rey Mysterio

WWF Tag Team Champions Paul London and Chad Collyer beat Christopher Idol and Low Ki

Samoa Joe beat Kurt Angle

Sean O'Haire, Trent Acid, and Scoot Andrews beat Kazarian, Orlando Jordan, and J.R. Ryder

WWF Champion Rhyno beat AJ Styles

:lol:

This is really going to piss you off... I actually had Kane under contract for a good chunk of the time the diary was in retirement. He showed up here and there, wrestled some one shot matches, even squashed Kid Romeo (I considered making him the Hardcore champ at one point).

Perhaps Kane will be back sooner than later.

Oh, and I'm about to edit in the results to Fully Loaded and Great American Bash.

Official Rosters

Raw

Main Eventers:
Bryan Danielson
Chris Benoit (World Heavyweight Champion)
CM Punk
Randy Orton

Upper Midcarders:
Adam Hastey
Austin Lee
Brian Kendrick
John Jeter
Lance Storm (Intercontinental Champion)
Steve Corino

Midcarders:
Billy Kidman
Charlie Haas (World Tag Team Champion)
Chris Chetti
Danny Basham
Doug Basham
Frank Shamrock (World Tag Team Champion)
Hurricane
Julio Dinero
Justin Credible
Kid Romeo (Hardcore Champion)
Rob Conway
Shannon Moore
Shelton Benjamin
Test

Lower Midcarders:
BJ Whitmer
Colt Cabana
Funaki
Jay Lethal
Jeremy Lopez
Ozzy Benton
Seth Knight

Women Roster:
Alexis Laree
Daffney
Chrissy Wolf
Erica Porter
Gail Kim
Jazz (Women's Champion)
Lita
Lucy Carter
Molly Holly
Taylor Matheny
Trish Stratus
Victoria

Non-wrestlers/Other:
Eric Bischoff (absent)
Shawn Michaels (Raw GM)
Paul Heyman (injured)

Smackdown

Main Eventers:
AJ Styles
Chad Collyer
Kurt Angle
Rhyno (WWF Champion)

Upper Midcarders:
J.R. Ryder
Jamie Noble (United States Champion)
John Cena
Low Ki (WWF Tag Team Champion)
Orlando Jordan (recently "fired" by Don Callis)
Paul London
Rey Mysterio
Samoa Joe
Sean O'Haire

Midcarders:
Ace Steel
Chris Candido
Christopher Idol (WWF Tag Team Champion)
Jay Briscoe
JC Ice (Cruiserweight Champion)
Jimmy Rave
Kazarian
Mark Briscoe
Matt Stryker
Nova
Rodney Mack
Ryan Wing
Scoot Andrews
Simon Diamond
Trent Acid
Ultimo Dragon

Lower Midcarders:
Alex Arion
Bill DeMott
Chris Hero
Men's Teioh
Nunzio
Paul Birchill (soon to debut)
Quenaan Creed
Reno
Roderick Strong
Sedrick Strong
Shashka Corbett
Sonjay Dutt
Steve Bradley

Nonwrestlers/Other:
Don Callis (Smackdown GM)

GRR! I'm fantasy booking 1995 when I feel like it. Tell me your favorite wrestlers from then so I can job them out to Well Dunn.

:lol:

I was a big fan of that Glen Jacobs guy, whatever happened to him?

...

(throws flaming toilet paper at Rowe)

Wait...

(forces Rowe to watch See No Evil 56 times)

Raw
August 6th 2007

-The crowd cheers, the fireworks explode, and Mike Tenay and Al Snow are thrilled to welcome us to another exciting edition of Monday Night Raw! They review last week’s Raw, where Chris Benoit found himself facing CM Punk and Bryan Danielson in a handicap match, because they beat up Benoit’s scheduled partner, Brian Kendrick. Benoit lost the handicap match, though it was only after Randy Orton interfered. Tonight, Punk and Danielson will team up again to face Chris Benoit and a mystery partner, whose identity is being kept secret for his own protection.

Technically Superior (Charlie Haas and Frank Shamrock) vs Shelton Benjamin and Steve Corino

Match Background: Technically Superior are the reigning World Tag Team champions, and have been since 11 June 2007. The titles are not on the line in this one. Shamrock and Haas won the titles from Adam Hastey and Austin Lee back in June and the Punk Rockers have failed to regain the belts since.

The Match: Frank Shamrock and Shelton Benjamin start the match off and thrill the crowd with their athletic style of hard hitting wrestling. Shamrock dominates initially, using his brute force, but the agile Shelton Benjamin fights back and traps his opponent in several variations of a reverse chin lock. Haas, who is a natural heel despite teaming with the fan favorite, Shamrock, enters the ring to stop the submission hold. Shelton tags in Steve Corino, who is merciless with his hard right hands to the temple of Frank Shamrock. Corino hits Shamrock so hard that he even begins to bleed a little. Finally, Shamrock tags in Haas, who cleans house on Corino and Benjamin. Haas positions Steve Corino for the Haas of Pain, but the referee misses Corino tapping out due to some antics from Shelton Benjamin. Adam Hastey of the Punk Rockers rushes the ring and cracks a baseball bat across Charlie Haas and exits before Frank Shamrock can catch him. Corino covers Haas and the referee counts 1….2…..3! Adam Hastey cost Technically Superior the match! **1/2 for some solid action, though the finish hurt it.
Winners at 7:30: Steve Corino and Shelton Benjamin

That crafty old HBK…

The Raw General Manager, Shawn Michaels, is walking through the backstage area, pausing briefly to shake Seth Knight’s hand. HBK turns a corner and finds that CM Punk, Bryan Danielson, and Randy Orton have been waiting for him.

Danielson: Okay, Shawn. We’re sick of your games. Who is Benoit’s partner tonight?

HBK: I’m not telling you.

Punk: Come on now, Shawn! How are Bryan and I going to prepare for our match if we don’t even know who we will be facing!

HBK: After that stunt you three pulled last week, beating up Brian Kendrick, I don’t have to tell you a damn thing.

Orton: You are making a mistake, Shawn. You do not want to make us mad. You see, the three of us have united to make sure that Raw changes for the better. We will not let you push us around any longer.

HBK: Oh, I see how it is. You three think you are going to be the new “super stable” here on Raw? You want to be the next Evolution? Maybe even the next D-X or nWo? That’s not going to happen, I have worked too hard to make Raw the show where superstars get fair treatment. You three think you are going to play mind games with me? Think again. If I know one thing about the three of you, it is that you are all incredibly selfish. You will not last as a unit. And to make sure of that… how about you (points to Bryan Danielson) and you (points to Randy Orton) wrestle each other at Summerslam… and the winner gets a World title shot the next night on Raw.

The room gets tense as Orton and Danielson are starring each other down.

HBK: Thank you for proving my point. Oh, and Randy, don’t be late for your match. It’s up next.

Randy Orton (with Bryan Danielson and CM Punk) vs Funaki

Match Background: Funaki recently joined the Raw brand earlier this summer after his Smackdown contract expired. Orton recently found out he is facing Bryan Danielson at Summerslam.

The Match: Orton aggressively takes the fight to Funaki. Orton grounds the smaller grappler with closed fists to the back of Funaki’s next. Orton goes for his side headlock and wears his opponent down. Funaki fights out of the head lock and mounts a small comeback. Funaki gets a dropkick and a springboard off the ropes in on Orton, before CM Punk grabs him by the ankles from ringside. The distraction is enough for Orton to hit the RKO on Funaki and get the 1….2….3! This was pretty much a squash, ½*.
Winner at 2:31: Randy Orton

Captain Charisma fights again.

Christian is backstage, about to be interviewed by Todd Grisham. Todd asks him what Christian plans to do, now that he and Test are no longer associated with Kid Romeo and Chris Chetti. Christian explains that tonight he is going to stop worrying about others and for now on he is about himself and no one else. Christian says that tonight he will take the Intercontinental Championship. Suddenly, Justin Credible walks in and tells Christian he has a good feeling that Storm will retain the title. Christian pushes Credible against the wall and threatens Credible, warning him to stay out of his match.

Intercontinental Championship: Lance Storm © vs Christian (with Test)

Match Background: This match is for the WWF Intercontinental title. Lance Storm has been WWF Intercontinental champion since 07 May 2007. For the past several months, Storm has been plagued by unwanted help from Justin Credible. Credible woke up one day and realized that his career had been suffering ever since he turned on Storm and he desperately wants to reform the Impact Players.

The Match: Just as the match is about to begin, both Storm and Christian are annoyed to see that Justin Credible has come out on the stage with a steel chair. They both protest his presence to the referee. Credible unfolds the chair and has a seat on the stage, so the referee decides to ignore him. Storm hands his IC title to the timekeeper, and Christian takes this opportunity to jump him. Christian hits some punches and chokes Storm on the bottom rope. Christian stomps away at Storm, but Storm reverses an attempt at a leg lock and tosses Christian over the ropes and lands on Test. We head to a commercial break. After the break, we find that Christian took the advantage during the commercials. Christian has Storm in a sleeper and the life is fading from him. Storm fights out of it after a few minutes and hits a spinning DDT on Christian. Storm goes for the cover and gets 1….2….NO! Christian is on his feet again and tries to hit some stiff punches on Storm, more than likely interested in hitting the Unprettier. Storm tosses Christian over the ropes again and pursues his opponent. Storm whips Christian into the ring steps. The referee checks on Christian, turning his back to Storm. Test takes this opportunity to catch Storm off guard with the big boot. Test throws Christian back into the ring. Christian takes forever limping in and makes a cover attempt. It gets 1…..2…..2.999! Storm kicks out! Christian is outraged. Test tosses a steel cage to Christian. Christian turns around and Storm super kicks the chair into his face! The referee lets it go and counts as Storm covers Christian for the 1….2…..3! Lance Storm retains the title! This was a good television match, ***1/2.
Winner at 12:35 and STILL Intercontinental Champion: Lance Storm

After the match, Justin Credible takes his steel chair and attacks both Test and Christian with it. Storm watches in disgust and heads up the ramp. Credible grabs the microphone and asks Storm if he would be his partner in a match against Christian and Test at Summerslam. Storm responds by giving Credible the bird and leaving.

Has-been?

Backstage, John Jeter is hanging out with his girlfriend, Trish Stratus. They are having a lively conversation when they stop because Test is helping a bloody Christian walk by.

Christian: What the hell are you two looking at?

Jeter: A has-been.

Christian: Excuse me!

Jeter: Oh, you’re right, I apologize. I meant to say a “never-was.”

Christian lunges onto Jeter and Test has to pull Christian off to keep Jeter from hurting Christian any further.

The Punk Rockers (with Chrissy Wolf)vs Hurricane and Shannon Moore

Match Background: Helms and Moore are one of the most experienced teams in the promotion. Earlier, Adam Hastey cost Frank Shamrock and Charlie Haas their match against Steve Corino and Shelton Benjamin. Chrissy Wolf is the manager of the Punk Rockers, she debuted around WrestleMania time.

The Match: This is the usual great match between the Punk Rockers and Moore/Hurricane. The Punk Rockers use their dastardly heel tactics to keep Shannon Moore isolated in their corner and in need of a hot tag. Hurricane finally gets the tag, and cleans house on Hastey and Lee. Hurricane’s momentum is stopped when Chrissy Wolf distracts the referee, allowing Austin Lee to hit a vicious low blow on Hurricane. The Punk Rockers look like they are going to steal a win, when Charlie Haas comes rushing down the ramp and jumps into the ring. Haas hits a T-Bone suplex on Lee, and leaves. Wolf is horrified as she watches helplessly as Hurricane pins Austin Lee for the victory.
Winners at 7:04: Hurricane and Shannon Moore

Those evil divas.

The WWF Women’s Champion, Jazz, and Molly Holly are walking down a hallway. Jazz orders Molly to destroy Erica Porter in their match. Molly agrees when she bumps into an unfamiliar blonde face. This unknown diva smiles and introduces herself but Molly just looks stunned. “Do you even know who I am?” demands Jazz. The two evil divas shove their way past the newcomer and head to the ring.

Molly Holly (with Jazz) vs Erica Porter

Match Background: Erica Porter was the most recent challenger to Jazz’s Women’s Championship. Jazz is hoping that Molly will bury Erica for good in this match.

The Match: Molly and Porter tie up and go through the motions of a formulaic women’s match. Porter hits some good offense on Molly, including a powerful DDT and even attempts a superplex. Molly reverses that move and sends Porter crashing down to the mat. Molly hits the Molly-Go-Round for the 1,2,3. The match was nothing special, ½*
Winner at 3:39: Molly Holly

After the match, Jazz and Molly proceed to beat down Erica Porter. This summons the blonde newcomer to run out and make the save. The unknown diva tosses Molly over the top ropes and hits Jazz with a great looking back breaker. Jazz escapes as well.

The main event:
CM Punk and Bryan Danielson come out to the ring for their match against Chris Benoit and his mystery partner. Benoit comes out, looking kind of bruised after the beating he took last week. Finally, his partner is introduced as the man that Don Callis just fired on the last episode of Smackdown: Orlando Jordan! Even better, he has brought Stacy Keibler with him!

Chris Benoit and Orlando Jordan (with Stacy Keibler) vs CM Punk and Bryan Danielson

Match Background: Chris Benoit is the reigning World Heavyweight champion, and has been since 15 July 2007. Benoit beat CM Punk for the World title at Fully Loaded. Punk wants another title shot but has not been given any hint if one is in his future or not.

The Match: The match begins with a brawl between all four men. Finally, Jordan and Danielson spill out of the ring, leaving CM Punk and Chris Benoit to exchange chops. Punk’s chest is raw after a few minutes and takes a vicious head butt from Benoit. Benoit blows his nose on Punk and looks to lock in the Crossface. Punk avoids the hold and takes Benoit down with a reverse Russian leg sweep. Punk goes for the Devil’s Lock, but Benoit is crafty enough to avoid it. Mike Tenay on commentary makes a note that Benoit and Punk have wrestled each other so much that they know exactly what the other one will do next. Punk makes a tag to Bryan Danielson, who also has a storied history against Benoit. Danielson hits some stiff shots to Benoit’s skull and a few chops of his own. Benoit comes back, hitting a painful German suplex on American Dragon. Benoit makes the tag, and Orlando Jordan makes his first moves in a Raw ring. Jordan hits some clotheslines on Danielson and sends him into the corner. Jordan monkey flips Danielson to the mat and goes for an abdominal stretch. Danielson fights out of the move and sends Jordan crashing into the turnbuckle. We take a commercial break. After the break, CM Punk has Jordan caught in a body headscissors. Jordan really wants a tag, but Punk has him trapped in the center of the ring. Jordan is able to connect some punches to the skull of CM Punk and escapes the hold. Jordan tags in Benoit, who hits a trilogy of German suplexes on Punk. Benoit signals for the diving headbutt. Benoit goes to the top turnbuckle, but Danielson shakes the ropes and Benoit hits the mat hard. Punk takes control again and tags in Danielson for the double team. Punk holds Benoit still to take a shot from Danielson, but Benoit ducks. Danielson accidentally knocked Punk in the skull. Benoit hits another German on Danielson soon after. Meanwhile, Jordan climbs to the top rope and hits a beautiful moonsault on Danielson. Benoit finishes it up with the Crippler Crossface on Danielson, who taps about after several seconds. This was a great, fresh tag team main event, ***3/4.
Winners at 16:30: Chris Benoit and Orlando Jordan

The fight is not done after the match. Randy Orton runs out and a huge three on two beat-down begins. Shawn Michaels and a limping Brian Kendrick run out to make the save. The chaos continues when Orton’s protégé, Rob Conway, comes out to attack Kendrick further. Things become even more crazy. CM Punk gets on the microphone and claims that he has big plans on inflicting pain on Benoit, Michaels, Jordan, and Kendrick. He calls out… the Punk Rockers! Adam Hastey and Austin Lee come down to the ring carrying their baseball bats, but on their way they are jumped by Frank Shamrock and Charlie Haas. Technically Superior leaves the Punks down on the ground and rush into the ring and allow Benoit and Jordan to be revived. The show ends with all the faces standing in the ring taunting as the heels angrily back up the ramp. The battle lines have been drawn!

Smackdown!
August 9th 2007

-We start with a look back at the Great American Bash when John Cena ambushed Rhyno, right after a successful WWF title defense against AJ Styles. This is followed by footage of Cena last week on Smackdown, saying that he is sick of being Rhyno’s lackey. Cena challenged Rhyno to a WWF Championship match at Summerslam, which Rhyno has accepted.

-The fireworks go off, the fans cheer, and Michael Cole is so excited to be here live on Smackdown, that it’s a wonder he doesn’t collapse from a brain aneurysm. Tazz is excited too, and we have a big show tonight. Ryan Wing will challenge JC Ice for the Cruiserweight Championship, the Briscoe Boyz will face Christopher Idol and Low Ki for the WWF Tag Team Championship, and Jamie Noble will defend the United States Championship against the two time former champ, Rodney Mack.

Good News!

Don Callis and his associates, Low Ki, Matt Stryker, and Rodney Mack come out to the arena. Callis takes a microphone and has “bad news” for everyone. Callis announces that after his loss at the Great American Bash, AJ Styles will not be here tonight. In fact, AJ Styles may not ever return! The crowd pops big time for this, save for some smarks in the front row. Callis says that this does not mean he wants to give up on his quest to rid Rhyno of the WWF Championship, because he has just signed a new client. This new client isn’t just any client, he is the number one contender: John Cena. Cena comes out to the arena to a chorus of boos and shakes hands with Callis. Cena takes the microphone and insults the size of Rhyno’s penis.

This brings out Rhyno, who charges the ring and GORES Stryker, but gets stopped by Low Ki before he can get to Cena. They begin to beat down Rhyno, when Kurt Angle runs out to make the save. However, Angle is cut off by none other than Samoa Joe, who was hiding out in the audience under a trench coat. Joe slams Angle into the steel steps and raises his arms in victory. Don Callis looks surprised to see Joe, as they have not been aligned. This does not stop Callis from making a match for the main event tonight: John Cena and Samoa Joe will team up to face Rhyno and Kurt Angle!

WWF Tag Team Championship: Christopher Idol and Low Ki © (with Ace Steel) vs Briscoe Boyz

Match Background: Briscoe Boyz are one of the most experienced teams in the promotion. This match is for the WWF Tag Team titles. Idol and Ki have been WWF Tag Team champions since 02 August 2007. Low Ki was the substitute for Ace Steel as Idol’s tag partner while Steel was on the injured list. Last week, Steel made his surprise return to cost Paul London and Chad Collyer the tag titles to Idol and Low Ki.

The Match: Jay Briscoe and the much larger Christopher Idol start the match. Idol uses his size and power advantages to crush Jay Briscoe for several minutes, before making a carefree tag to Low Ki. Low Ki hits some nasty kicks on Jay, who finally gets to his corner for a tag to Mark Briscoe. Mark cleans house on Low Ki before getting a spinning kick to the face on goes down hard. Low Ki puts Mark in a reverse chin lock, but Mark fights out of it and hits a spinning DDT on Low Ki. Low Ki tags in Idol, who charges into the ring and accidentally takes out the referee with a rogue clothesline. Ace Steel runs into the ring and hits a low blow on Mark, and Idol goes for the cover, but the referee is still out. This brings out Chad Collyer and Paul London, who storm the ring and toss Steel over the top rope. Collyer hits his spinning DVD on Low Ki to flatten him out, while London hits the London Calling on Idol. They drape Mark over Idol and leave as the referee comes to. The referee counts the pinfall and the Briscoe Boyz win their first tag team championship at 8:31! Good match, weak finish, **3/4.
Winners and NEW WWF Tag Team Champions: Jay and Mark Briscoe

Cole: Collyer and London pick up a measure of payback for being screwed out of the tag titles last week!

He ain’t no pirate.

Backstage, Josh Matthews is standing by with Paul Birchill. Birchill takes this opportunity to put himself over as the best thing to happen to pro wrestling in a long time. Birchill promises victory tonight in this match against Ultimo Dragon.

Paul Birchill vs Ultimo Dragon

Match Background: None… at all.

The Match: Ultimo Dragon uses his speed and technique to overwhelm Birchill in the early going. Dragon hits his trademark Asai moonsault at one point, laying out Birchill at ringside. Birchill recovers soon after and violently whips the Dragon into the announce table. Birchill throws Dragon back into the ring and surprisingly breaks out the Sharpshooter and forces Ultimo Dragon to tap out at 4:15. Clean, short match, **.
Winner: Paul Birchill

Tazz: I really like this Paul Birchill.

Cole: He has an impressive outing tonight, he beat a tough competitor in Ultimo Dragon.

More new faces.

We see a pre-taped segment featuring Tommy Teen putting over his client, Qenaan Creed. Teen warns the Smackdown cruiserweights, as well as the heavyweights and the legends, to take Creed seriously. He will be the next World Champion, Teen guarantees it!

United States Championship: Jamie Noble © vs Rodney Mack

Match Background: This match is for the WWF United States title. Jamie Noble has been WWF United States champion since the Great American Bash on 29 July 2007.

The Match: Jamie Noble wrestles a smart match, since he is squaring off against a much bigger star in Rodney Mack. Noble concentrates his attacks to the lower back of Rodney Mack, trying to weaken him before he can catch Noble with any power moves. Noble trips Mack into the ring ropes and hits a running lariat. Mack finally loses his temper and goes to ringside and grabs a steel chair. He returns to the ring and takes a swing and misses, but connects with his second try. The referee disqualifies Mack at 3:30. The match was nothing special, ¾*.
Winner by DQ: Jamie Noble

Tazz: Why the hell would Rodney Mack throw away his title shot by getting disqualified!

What gives?

Backstage, Samoa Joe is sitting in his locker-room, getting ready for his big match tonight. Don Callis comes in and offers him a handshake. Joe declines. Callis asks Joe what his agenda is? Joe says that he wanted to get Callis’s attention since apparently winning the King of the Ring and defeating Kurt Angle at the Great American Bash was not enough. Joe says that he should be next in line for a shot at the WWF Championship. Callis tells Joe he will “think about it.”

Cruiserweight Championship: JC Ice © (with Trent Acid) vs Ryan Wing (with Chris Hero)

Match Background: This match is for the WWF Cruiserweight title. JC Ice has been WWF Cruiserweight champion since 14 December 2006. Ryan Wing earned this shot at the title by winning a 10 man battle royal at the Great American Bash.

The Match: Rey Mysterio joins Cole and Tazz at the commentary booth for this match, claiming he wants to keep a close eye on JC Ice. Ice and Wing put on a hell of a match, one that needs a commercial break in the middle. Acid tries to interfere at one point, but Chris Hero stops him. Back in the ring, Wing and Ice are trading submission holds and reversals, and Ice has even busted Wing open by dropping him head first onto the turnbuckles. Since Wing is the masochist and all, this just fires up Wing. Wing sets up Ice in the tree of woe and hits a nasty drop-kick to the gut of the champion. Ice is in trouble and almost gets pinned. Finally, Scoot Andrews runs in and takes Chris Hero out with a chair, allowing Trent Acid to hop up on the apron to distract the referee. Rey Mysterio hops up and uses the ring post to hit a modified 619 on Acid. The damage has been done though, as Ice hit a low blow on Wing and rolled him up. The referee turns around just in time to make the cover, giving Ice the win at 16:54! This was a great match, but the overbooked finish hurt it a bit, ***3/4.
Winner and STILL Cruiserweight Champion: JC Ice


His Time is Now

Josh Matthews is standing by with the number one contender, John Cena. He asks Cena how he feels about teaming up with Samoa Joe. Cena says that Joe has not yet proven himself in his eyes, and he does not know if he can trust him or not. Cena says that he knows that Joe wants a shot at Rhyno too, and makes a warning: if he even thinks Joe might betray him during the match, he will gladly give Joe an F-U too.

Rhyno and Kurt Angle vs John Cena and Samoa Joe

Match Background: Rhyno is the reigning WWF World champion, and has been since 16 July 2006. This match was set up earlier when Rhyno and Kurt Angle attacked Don Callis and his clients. Samoa Joe came to the aide of Callis, resulting in this match being made.

The Match: Rhyno insists on starting the match off, since Cena is the legal man for the other team. Cena plays a mind game by immediately tagging in Samoa Joe. Joe seems annoyed by this too. Joe and Rhyno tie up and Joe pushes Rhyno to the mat, which surprises the champion. Rhyno comes back by shoving Joe to the mat himself. This fires up Joe and they begin to trade punches. Rhyno whips Joe into the turnbuckles and goes for a running shoulder thrust, but Joe moves out of the way. Joe plants Rhyno in the corner and washes his boot on Rhyno’s face. Joe makes the tag to Cena, who is more than happy to wrestle a weakened Rhyno. Cena hits a series of clotheslines and the five knuckle shuffle, which pisses the crowd off. Rhyno makes the tag to Angle, who puts Cena through a wrestling clinic. Angle goes for the ankle lock on Cena, who escapes and tags Joe back in. Joe and Angle lock up, which leads to Angle hitting an amazing overhead belly to belly suplex! Joe hits the mat hard and is soon the victim of the ankle lock! Joe manages to flip Angle over him and makes the tag to John Cena. Cena puts Angle in the STFU, but Rhyno runs in to break the hold. Angle gets a tag to Rhyno, and he takes control of Cena. Meanwhile, a frustrated Joe decides to pull his arch-enemy, Kurt Angle, off the apron and they brawl up the ramp, leaving Joe and Cena by themselves in the ring. Rhyno goes for the GORE, but Cena moves out of the way and Rhyno hits the turnbuckles hard. This leaves him as an easy target for the F-U! Cena hits the move and makes the cover for the 1….2….3! Holy crap, John Cena just picked up a clean victory over the WWF Champion at 15:10! This match was awesome, ****1/4!
Winners: John Cena and Samoa Joe

After the match, John Cena grabs the WWF Championship and poses with it, as the crowd throws garbage in the ring.

Raw
August 13th 2007

The fans cheer, the fireworks explode, and Mike Tenay and Al Snow welcome us to another thrilling edition of Monday Night Raw! This is the last stop before Summerslam, and with only one Raw match announced for the pay-per-view, GM Shawn Michaels has his work cut out for him. Also, tonight’s main event will be CM Punk taking on the newly arrived Orlando Jordan.

The Summerslam main event.

CM Punk comes out to the arena and talks about how he deserves his rematch against Chris Benoit for the World title. He makes a challenge to Benoit for a match at Summerslam. This only brings out Adam Hastey and Austin Lee, who agree that Punk deserves that match, but they also should get a match against Frank Shamrock and Charlie Haas for the World Tag Team Championship.

Chris Benoit, Frank Shamrock, and Charlie Haas come out on the stage and claim that they do not see how the heels should get another shot at either championship. They have had plenty of opportunities these past few months and there are other more deserving contenders waiting on the wings. Shawn Michaels comes out and declares that CM Punk, Adam Hastey, and Austin Lee will wrestle Benoit, Haas, and Shamrock at Summerslam. If the champions win, the challengers will not be eligible for any title shots for 12 months. If the challengers win, they can get their rematches next month at Unforgiven. HBK then announces Adam Hastey vs Charlie Haas for after the commercial break.

Adam Hastey (with CM Punk and Austin Lee) vs Charlie Haas (with Chris Benoit and Frank Shamrock)

Match Background: Charlie Haas is one half of the World Tag Team champions.

The match: The match starts off quickly with lots of grappling and reversals. Lee and Punk keep attempting to interfere, but Benoit and Shamrock intimidate them from even trying it. Hastey gets a blind low blow on Haas and almost gets the victory with a near fall. Haas fights back after several minutes and hits a T-Bone suplex. Hastey is in a daze, so Haas locks him into the Haas of Pain for the victory at 4:14. Clean match, but short **.
Winner: Charlie Haas

After the match, a six man brawl breaks out. Mike Tenay wonders were Rob Conway, Randy Orton, and Bryan Danielson are and why they aren’t coming out to help CM Punk. Benoit ends up trapping Punk in the Crossface to end the segment.

The new diva.

Todd Grisham is standing backstage with Erica Porter and the new diva who saved her from Jazz, Gail Kim, and Molly last week. The new diva introduces herself as Lucy Carter and says it has been her dream to work in the WWF. Grisham says he recognizes her from some past appearances on Sunday Night Heat, and Carter says that was her and it was her performances in those matches that has earned her a Raw contract. Jazz, Molly, and Gail bust in and try to intimidate Porter and Carter. It doesn’t work, as Carter is so confident that she challenges the three evil divas to a 3 on 2 handicap match! Porter does not seem too thrilled with that idea.

Erica Porter and Lucy Carter vs Jazz, Molly Holly, and Gail Kim

Match Background: Jazz is the reigning WWF Womens champion, and has been since 19 March 2007. The newly debuted (and apparently naïve) Lucy Carter asked for this match.

The Match: Lucy and Jazz start the match off. Jazz aggressively pounds on Lucy, though her arrogance gets the better of her. Jazz misses an elbow drop and Lucy comes back with some spin kicks and hits a nice looking hurrancanrana on Jazz. Jazz makes a tag to Gail Kim, who is taken down repeatedly by Lucy. Lucy tags in Erica, who uses her great strength to toss Gail all over the ring. Angry, Gail tags in Molly, who smacks Porter across the face. Angry, Porter slaps her back. They both lunge on each other and the referee needs to separate them. Molly throws a temper tantrum and while the ref is attending to her, Jazz takes a steel chair and cracks Porter with it. Gail attacks Lucy to keep her from entering the ring while Molly covers Erica for the win at 3:30. Not a bad debut, *3/4.
Winners: Jazz, Molly Holly, and Gail Kim

After the match, Shawn Michaels comes out and makes Erica Porter and Lucy Carter vs Gail Kim and Molly Holly for Summerslam. He makes the stipulation that Jazz is banned from ringside.

Orlando Jordan: Raw superstar.

Todd Grisham is standing by backstage, with Orlando Jordan and Stacy. Todd welcomes Orlando to Raw and asks him how he feels about his match tonight against CM Punk. Jordan jokes around that Punk shouldn’t be too difficult after what Chris Benoit did to him earlier tonight, when suddenly BJ Whitmer walks by. Orlando and BJ lock eyes before BJ continues on his way. Stacy and Todd both look confused, and Orlando says “it’s nothing.” He vows to make a big impact tonight and pick up a victory over CM Punk.

We cut to another backstage area where CM Punk is aching from the attack from Benoit. He is yelling at Bryan Danielson, Randy Orton, and Rob Conway for not coming to his rescue. Conway explains that Danielson and Orton were having a fight due to their being forced to wrestle at Summerslam and that he was too busy making sure they didn’t strike each other. Punk curses the life of Shawn Michaels and reminds his allies that they have a match up next against Lance Storm and John Jeter.

Randy Orton and Bryan Danielson (with Rob Conway) vs John Jeter and Lance Storm

Match Background: Lance Storm is the reigning WWF Intercontinental champion, and has been since 07 May 2007. Before the match begins, we see a graphic advertising John Jeter vs Christian at Summerslam. The winner gets a shot at the Intercontinental Championship. Shawn Michaels ordered last week that Bryan Danielson and Randy Orton have a #1 Contenders match at Summerslam as well, testing their unity as a faction.

The Match: Randy Orton just WALKS into a stiff lariat clothesline from Storm. A Gut buster connects on Orton and hits hard. Hooks the leg for a two count. Storm tags out to John Jeter. Storm and Jeter whip Orton into the corner. Lance Storm whips John Jeter in for a hard clothesline to follow-up. Covers for a quick two count. Spin kick by John Jeter to the face sends the opponent FLYING across the ring. Randy Orton once again takes the advantage after blocking a few punches and connecting with some forearms. Randy Orton hits a bulldog off the ropes. There's a two count on the pin. Orton tags out to Bryan Danielson. Spinning bulldog in the corner and Jeter is down! Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Jeter takes a flying neckbreaker from Bryan Danielson. Jeter flips out of a Bryan Danielson bodyslam attempt. Danielson takes a flying neckbreaker from John Jeter. Jeter tags out to Lance Storm. Storm drives a HARD forearm into the chest of Danielson. Tag to Randy Orton. Big dropkick by Lance Storm, who got a ton of air on the move. Orton grabs Lance Storm for Bryan Danielson, who swings...but Storm ducks, and ends up nailing Orton instead! Randy Orton is in trouble. Super Kick!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3 for the win at 17:45! Great television match, ****.
Winners: John Jeter and Lance Storm

After the match, Orton and Danielson argue over the loss. Conway tries to get them to settle down, but Danielson shoves him to the mat. Conway gets back up and tries again, but this time Orton shoves him down. Conway, keeping his distance this time, reminds them that they are supposed to be partners and that they should shake hands. Danielson and Orton reluctantly do.

The Peep Show

Christian is backstage and he announces that next week on Raw, he will hold the first ever “The Peep Show” which will be his version of Piper’s Pit. Christian promises that he will defeat John Jeter at Summerslam and says he has a big surprise in store for Jeter.

Hardcore Championship: Kid Romeo © (with Chris Chetti) vs Billy Kidman

Match Background: This will be a hardcore bout. This match is for the WWF Hardcore title. Kid Romeo has been WWF Hardcore champion since 28 January 2007.

The Match: This is a fun garbage brawl. Romeo cracks Kidman over the head with a garbage lid and Irish whips him into a garbage can propped up in the turnbuckles. Kidman comes back by nailing Romeo with some kendo stick shots. Chetti trips Kidman, allowing Romeo to get his momentum back. Chetti tosses a shopping cart into the ring. Romeo goes to Irish whip Kidman into the cart, but Kidman reverses it and Romeo crashes into the metal with a thud! Kidman goes for the cover and it’s only a near fall. Kidman places a chair on top of Romeo and climbs to the top rope for the Shooting Star Press. Fortunately, Romeo moves out of the way and positions Kidman for the Last Kiss! Romeo hits the move and covers Kidman for the victory at 6:03. Damn fun match, **1/2.
Winner at STILL Hardcore Champion: Kid Romeo

CM Punk vs Orlando Jordan (with Stacy)

Match Background: Orlando Jordan debuted on Raw last week as Chris Benoit’s mystery partner. CM Punk is heading into Summerslam for a six man tag that if he wins will earn him a World title shot at Unforgiven.

The Match: A Gut buster connects on Punk and hits hard. Tiger bomb by Orlando Jordan. There's a two count on the pin. CM Punk comes up with a right hand out of nowhere. CM Punk kicks the leg, knocks Jordan down, and goes to work on it. Hard impact Russian Leg Sweep by Punk. Pin, but Jordan is out just before the three count. Flying elbow from CM Punk connects. Jordan ducks a wild right hand. Reverse DDT on Punk. Hooks the leg for a two count. Belly to belly off the top rope! Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Back body drop by Punk gets a bit of a pop from the crowd. Some stiff chop lights up Punk who covers up to try and stop the agonizing pain! Jordan goes for a splash but Punk puts the knees up. Neck breaker on Orlando Jordan by Punk. Remember when that was a legit finish? Power drive elbow by CM Punk. The referee watches as the two wrestlers go to the outside and start brawling around ringside. He completes a ten count, and they are still outside, having ignored the count. This match is over via double count out at 15:03. Good match, weak finish, make this ***3/4.
No contest.

After the match, Chris Benoit comes running down and puts Punk back into the Crippler Crossface. The Punk Rockers run in with baseball bats, but Benoit escapes before he can get hit with them. Mike Tenay and Al Snow speculate that CM Punk is in no shape for Summerslam and look optimistic that Benoit will reign supreme.