TNA iMPACT!
January 21, 2006

-Final Resolution has come and gone, and from what I heard it was a very disappointing pay-per-view, full of WCW-like foolish match endings. Considering Sting and Jeff Jarrett were in the main event, I suppose we can pretend we are watching the rebirth of WCW. Sting is making his iMPACT debut tonight.

-Don West is outside the arena, waiting for Sting to arrive. This is his first television appearance in five years (in wrestling, of course, he makes appearances on religious programs).

-Our hosts for the night are Mike Tenay and Don West.

Elix Skipper and David Young (with Simon Diamond) vs Chris Sabin and Sonjay Dutt

Sabin has blonde streaks in his hair and looks funny. Skipper and Young jump their opponents quickly and whip them into each other. Sabin and Dutt come back and send Skipper over the ropes. They hit a double team on David Young and Dutt nearly gets the win in under a minute. Simon Diamond grabs Dutt’s ankles, throwing him off his game. Skipper runs in with a big clothesline and Dutt hits the mat hard. Skipper is the legal man now and takes control of Dutt. Skipper tags in Young and sets Dutt up for an off the ropes double-sledgehammer. Young executes the move, but Dutt comes back within seconds with a hurancanrana. Sabin is tagged in and cleans house, even though that really was not a hot tag. Sabin tags in Dutt, who escapes an spine buster from David Young. Dutt hits the Hindu press for the victory at 2:49, further establishing that Skipper and Young are simply jobbers in the rough. ½* for a total throwaway match.
Winners: Chris Sabin and Sonjay Dutt

-Shane Douglas is backstage with AJ Styles. Douglas asks Styles about his thoughts on his opponent, “The Prince of Punk” Shannon Moore. Styles tells Moore he can carry that plaque around all he wants, but Styles won the award. Christopher Daniels busts in and disputes that Styles is the number one contender for the X title. Daniels is mad that Styles threw in a towel during his match against Samoa Joe at Final Resolution. Styles does not have a good answer for Daniels, claiming that he had Daniel’s well being in mind when he cost Daniels the match. Daniels sarcastically says he is lucky to have a friend like Styles. That is fine, Christopher Daniels and AJ Styles are two guys I never want to see portrayed as friends. They must be bitter rivals for me to have any happiness in life.

-Shane Douglas is now standing outside Sting’s dressing room, trying to get a word with him. Sting has not arrived yet, but Douglas is determined to be the first to talk to him.

-Don West and Mike Tenay put over how great Final Resolution supposedly was and we see footage of Sting making his entrance. I have to hand it to TNA, even though every report I have heard said the show was disappointing, I still want to see it.

Team Canada (with Scott D’Amore) vs Ron Killings, Lance Hoyt, and Shark Boy

Argh, not another six-man featuring Team Canada! Team Canada consists of A-1, Petey Williams, and Eric Young. That face team was completely thrown together. Lance Hoyt could disappear forever and I would not notice until someone reminded me. How sad is that? Shark Boy starts the match with Petey Williams, so this might be good. Shark Boy chops Williams into the ropes and hits a big back body drop. A-1 runs in but gets caught with a drop kick from Shark Boy. Eric Young runs in but gets the Shark Bite. A tag is made to Ron Killings, who pulls Eric Young, the new legal man, back into the ring. Killings hits a power slam and gets a near fall. Killings goes for his scissors kick, but A-1 runs in and hits a back breaker. Young goes for the cover and gets a near fall. Young hits some shoulder thrusts and I imagine Young would fit in well in the WWE. Williams is back in the ring and takes control of Killings. We take a quick look at Dave Hebner in the audience, who is taking notes about the match. Young gets tagged back in and wrenches Killings’ arm. Killings comes back with an impressive suplex into a stunner. Killings tags in Lance Hoyt, who cleans house on Team Canada. Once again, we are supposed to buy this as a hot tag at only the three minute mark. Hoyt gets the pump handle slam on Petey Williams and gets a near fall. A-1 runs in and Hoyt fights him off. Shark Boy makes a blind tag and performs a missile drop-kick off of Hoyt’s shoulders onto A-1. Williams is tagged in and Shark Boy hits a great reversal on Williams. The comeback does not last, as Williams hits the Canadian Destroyer on Shark Boy for the win at 4:06. That was actually pretty fun, ¾*.
Winners: Eric Young, A-1, and Petey Williams

-We get a video package recapping the Jackie Gayda/Jeff Jarrett storyline. I am sort of curious to see where this goes. This sure beats the endless Jarrett segments from the old weekly pay-per-view days where Jarrett would sit there for hours on his cell phone arguing with someone and shouting things like “I am the NWA Champion!” “I don’t have to defend my title!” “I am a cancer to this company!”

BG James and Kip James vs Kenny King and Buck Quartermain

This is the first time BG and Kip have teamed together on iMPACT. They are now known as the “James Gang” which has a good ring to it. They are, of course, the former New Age Outlaws from the WWE. This match as “squash” written all over it. BG gets on the microphone and does his normal routine, which is fine. The match finally begins and Kip James starts the match against King. James wrenches the arm of King and puts him in a headlock. King escapes, but James goes back to work on the arm. King fights out, but gets his head knocked into a turnbuckle. James hits a big kick to the face of Kenny King, who makes the tag to Buck. Kip tosses Buck over the ropes and I think King is still the legal man after all. James hits a high vertical suplex on King and plays to the crowd. Kip hits the move formerly known as the One and Only and wins the match for the James Gang at 1:54. BG did not even tag in. This was pretty disappointing, even as far as squash matches go. DUD.
Winners: BG James and Kip James

-After the match, Konnan and Homicide appear on the screen and Konnan challenges the James Gang to a fight. Apparently the Latin American Exchange will face the James Gang next week. I’m down with that.

-Shane Douglas is still looking for Sting and is demanding answers from Larry Zbyszko. Douglas is mad that Sting has signed a long term contract but cannot be found. Monty Brown busts in and is mad too. Zbyszko is now promising Sting for next week, as well as details about Jeff Jarrett’s opponent for Against All Odds. Brown takes the title contract and storms out with it, because he is just that plain ruthless.

-Shannon Moore gets a video package! Wow! TNA has done a nice job booking Moore thus far, he has come across as being more than a tad creepy. In WWE, he only came across as being a wannabe.

Street Fight: Shannon Moore vs AJ Styles

This is our last hope for a good match this week. Okay, the six-man tag was fun, but nothing I will remember. Moore is still carrying around the plaque he stole from Styles last week. Christopher Daniels is sitting in on commentary too. The bell rings and they start brawling. Moore rams Styles into the turnbuckle, but gets flung over the ropes onto the apron. Moore puts his legs on the shoulders of AJ Styles, looking for a takedown, but Styles flings him over the ropes. Moore hits the floor hard, and Styles pursues him with some stiff shots. The brawling picks up… so we go to a commercial… after a minute of action. During the commercial, I head over to Wrestlecrap.com and relive David Arquette winning the WCW title.

After a year of commercials, we are back and AJ Styles is in control. Moore attempted a chair shot, but Styles stopped him. They are brawling at ringside, and by “brawling” I mean that Styles is beating the crap out of Moore. Moore finally comes back, hitting a disgusting suplex, with Styles’ back hitting the guard rail! Moore and Styles brawl into the crowd, with Moore in control. Styles fights back, dropping Moore over a wall. Moore took a good little fall. Styles dives after Moore, and the crowd is pretty into this. Styles has always been good at using his environment to his advantage. The match finally spills back into the ring, and Alex Shelley is now at ringside, taping the match. Back in the ring, Moore has set up a chair. He goes to drop toe hold Styles into the chair, but Styles counters. Styles hits a drop toe hold of his own and Moore goes flying into the chair. Styles puts the chair around Moore’s neck and throws him into a turnbuckle. I am a big fan of violence, so I am enjoying this. Moore counters an enziguri, and he really is not selling any of those chair attacks. Moore puts the chair around the knee of AJ Styles. Moore goes to the top rope and jumps off. Styles lifts his leg so that Moore’s neck connects with it. Moore puts a single leg Boston crab on Styles, who needs to get to the ropes. Daniels hops up on the apron and throws in a towel, trying to screw him like at Final Resolution. AJ is annoyed with this interference, and it allows Moore to roll him up for the win at 5:42 (not counting the commercial). I just witnessed Shannon Moore picking up a victory over AJ Styles, I need a few minutes for that strange thought to sink in. Anyhow, the match showcased some nice violence, a few cool spots, but little to no selling from either guy. ** since it was entertaining, yet too short and had a dumb ending.
Winner: Shannon Moore

-Backstage, Shane Douglas is hanging out in Larry Zbyszko’s office with Team 3-D. Zbyszko comes in and Brother Ray has some words for him. Ray says that in their history they have been screwed and such, but Final Resolution was the worst. Brother Ray says they want both AMW and Team Canada for screwing with them. Devon adds that it is in Larry’s best interest to arrange this as soon as possible. Zbyszko is reluctant to give them what they want, and makes a weak promise to “do what he can.”

-Back in the arena, Christian Cage is in the ring. Christian says he got off the phone with Sting and he wishes he could be there tonight, but he was at the movies and could not pull himself away. He was watching the story of Monty Brown and Jeff Jarrett: Brokeback Mountain. Ha-ha, a gay joke! Christian says that Sting will be here next week, with a huge announcement to make. This brings out Jeff Jarrett, who is carrying a contract attached to a clipboard. Christian cuts Jarrett off before he can talk, reminding him that the fans think he sucks. Jarrett babbles on for a bit before getting to the point of his NWA title defense at Against All Odds. He says it won’t be Sting, since he has “run him out of TNA.” So Sting was driven out of TNA by winning a match against Jarrett? That makes no sense. Jarrett says they should have a new “flavor of the month” and get Chris Jericho in to wrestle him. This prompts a “Y2J” chant from the crowd. Jarrett is considering making Christian the number one contender, so he can send Christian to where he belongs: mid-card status. This lights a fire in Christian, who attacks Jarrett. This brings in Monty Brown, who joins in with a beat-down. Rhino runs in for the save. Christian and Rhino are victorious, but both men go for the contract at the same time. Before anything can come of this, Abyss runs in randomly. Rhino and Abyss brawl while Christian goes after Jarrett. Monty Brown sneaks into the ring and takes the contract. Brown teases signing it and… iMPACT goes off the air. I feel stupider for having watched that segment.

Final thoughts: The usual squash matches were less tedious than last week, with some okay competition in that six-man tag match. I am in complete disbelief that TNA used a bait and switch tactic by announcing the television debut of Sting and not delivering on it. Even better was that they had absolutely no good excuse for him not being on the show. I don’t like where this is heading. The run-in marathon at the end of the show was obnoxious as it did not really develop anything and did not give us any details on to what the Against All Odds main event will be. This was a pretty miss-able week.

Oh, and what the hell was up with AJ Styles doing a job to Shannon freaking Moore?

Thumbs down.

Nice review as always, Rowe-man. The show wasn't too bad tonight since I actually watched most of it, but here are my complaints...


1. Diamonds in the Rough. Shouldn't that mean, you know, they're GOOD or something? Finding a diamond in the rough is supposed to be some kind of special rare thing. What are they, awesome jobbers?

2. Sting is... NOT here. That's cold, Obi-Wan.

3. Shannon Moore. Period.

1) Haha, "awesome jobbers." I really feel they are wasting David Young, but Elix Skipper is virtually useless. His ability to hit one "holy shit" spot once every two years is not worth keeping him around.

2) Yeah, I felt like I was watching Raw or something :P The best part was that there was NO good reason for him not to be there!

3) Yeah, I'm still grumbling about that.

Elix Skipper is good I tells ya! Atleast better than David "I know 2 moves and sound like a hillbilly" Young.


I'm looking forward to next weeks episode, believe it or not. Shawn Michaels 2.0 getting mauled by Jo-Jo will be awesome, and STIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING finally shows up on iMPACT!.

Excellent. I haven't been keeping up on the iMPACT spoilers, but it's nice to know they won't pull the same "Sting isn't here, try again next week" shit for a second week in a row.

And I am always in the mood to watch Matt Bentley be destroyed. I give that match *** in advance :P

The only good thing about Bentley is the piece of ass he brings with him. Other than that, I'd rather watch a best of David Young Jobbing in 60 Seconds tape. When Eric Bischoff is fired by WWE, he should go to TNA just so he can do this...

"Tonight David Young, you're going to be jobbing to.... (Insert Big Hoss Name Here, Preferably 1 Word Name)

I would laugh really hard if Bischoff actually worded it as "You'll be jobbing..."

This is the age of smark references in wrestling promos, it would be gold :)

Bentley on a jobbing spree is probably just TNA's way of punishing the fans for embarassing themselves with that "Bentley bounce" crap.

Blech... Bentley bounce crap. I'm surprised Orlando hasn't had an earthquake because of all those porkers shaking the foundation of Universal Studios.

:lol:

What is even more sad is that it isn't just fat marks doing it, but guys who look like they would normally have a sense of self-respect.

Tracy should be seperated from Bentley and be paired up with someone who has, you know, a promising future in wrestling.



Then again, I always felt that if Bentley were to sign with WWE, he would do well there. He is the type of generic performer they love to push. Being related to HBK would not hurt him either.

Mentioning Shawn Michaels and "generic" in the same sentence to make fun of Michael Shane gets a thumbs up from me.

And we all know those guys are gay when they do that during Bentley's matches. You can tell by the well-groomed fingernails.

Good review of a pretty lame Impact.

The contract run-in mess could've been fun if they ever would've said that it was blank and open for signing. That wasn't really the point here though, which indeed made it pointless for people to want to take a look at it.

Was it already filled in? If so, Monty would have already looked when he took it to Jarrett, who also would have looked, and would know. So the answer would have to be no. Can you just sign it and take the spot? Again, Monty has never hid the fact that he just wants a title shot, so he would've signed it right away, or at the end in the ring. He didn't, so that wasn't it. So what the fuck? And why did Monty have that "oh boy" look on his face, when we know nothing happened.

And Moore/Styles was disapointing as hell. They just didn't seem to do anything, but Daniels throwing in the towel was a nice touch.

One gripe with TNA. Their supers (names on the bottom of the screen during entrances) always look shitty and bush-league. They need a better graphic for that, and a better font, and they need to put people's names on there, full name's if possible. AMW shouldn't say AMW. It should say America's Most Wanted. And Shannon Moore shouldn't say "Prince of Punk", thats fuckin dumb. it can say Shannon Moore, or "Shannon Moore - Prince of Punk". These are just a few examples, but it pisses me off on a weekly basis.

You're shitting me? They actually identified Shannon Moore as "The Prince of Punk" on the iMpact graphic? :lol:

Worse. Just "Prince of Punk".

Thats so fuckin stupid, I couldn't believe it.

I was waiting to see if AJ's would say "Phenomenal".

And I should also add that the commercial teasers said "Still to Come: Styles v Punk" which is also stupid, AND misleading.

:lol: How many smarks who don't typically follow TNA probably stuck around in hopes of seeing an AJ Styles vs CM Punk match.

I probably would've turned the TV off faster. :D

Golly..."Prince of Punk"? I watched last week's show and I couldn't believe that the Moore-Styles Tom and Jerry shenanigans are an actual angle. I was waiting for Styles to wait outside a door with giant bird net, or for Moore to paint a fake tunnel on a wall. Fans, there hasn't been an angle this intense since James Vandenburg stole Glacier's helmet! The way they kept popping into different sets was ridiculous... if ya' wanna' get REAL technical, it was like the Flash/Superman race, where the two would race through one panel of every comic that month.

Gotta' love the ambiguous contract rules of wrestling. Didn't HBK do something like this, last year? Signed his name on the contract that was drawn up for Batista. Next time I charge something at the grocery store, I'll be sure to sign it with a different name, then I won't have to pay! Brilliant! Logic in Wrestling!

I'm bumping this because I think it was one of my better reviews and its been lost under a sea of Scrooge's Wrestlemania reviews :P

Lost under a sea of reviews done 2 months ago? :D

And Prince of Punk was such a horrible name.