WWF Royal Rumble 1993


- Let's keep on trucking along with the 1993 Rumble PPV. From now on, all the reviews will be of the Pay-Per-View versions, unless noted otherwise. The 1993 Rumble marked the first time (officially) that the winner of the match would get a World Title shot at WrestleMania. The only problem with that is they packed the undercard with way too many big names, leaving a sea of jobbers to fill out the Rumble Match, and only 2 people with a hope in hell of winning.


- Live from the Arco Arena in Sacramento, CA on January 24th, 1993. Bobby Heenan and Gorilla Monsoon are on commentary, and that's really the highlight of the show. There's no Vince McMahon rambling on about the rumble participants (or many interviews), so we quickly go to the first match of the show...


- The Steiner Brothers vs. The Beverly Brothers:
(Rick & Scott Steiner vs. Beau & Blake Beverly)
The Steiner's had only debuted about a month earlier in the WWF, so this is their first "big" match. The Beverly's are missing the Genius, who I guess left the company in between the last episodes of PrimeTime Wrestling and this PPV. Scott and Beau Lockup to start. Scott with a single-leg pick, and Beau makes it to the ropes. Lockup #2, and Scott applies a wristlock, turns it into an overhead version and finally a takedown. Another lockup into the corner, and Scott takes Beau over with a hip toss. Beau with a boot to the midsection and a snap of the hair to take Scott down. Irish whip is reversed, and Scott catches Beau off the ropes with a kinda screwed up tilt-o-whirl slam, causing the Beverly Brothers to take a breather outside. Blake tags in for the first time and pisses off Rick for fun, which makes Rick tag into the match. Rick shoves Beau off the apron and a Lockup goes into the corner. Blake with a not-so-clean break and stomping in the corner. Irish whip, and Blake with a powerslam. Irish whip and Rick comes off the ropes to catch Blake in mid-air with his own powerslam. Rick applies an armbar and Scott tags in and connects with an over-head belly-to-belly suplex. Scott tries a double-underhook whatever, but Beau runs in to clothesline Scott out of his boots. Blake with a back breaker on Scott, and Beau comes back in with a sledge to the back. Beau with a side back breaker for a two count. Blake tags back in and comes off the ropes with a headbutt to the shoulder. Scott continues taking a beating from Beau and Blake adds some choking with the tag rope for added effect. Beau with a double underhook suplex for a two count. Blake tags in to take Scott over with a snapmare and applies a Boston Crab. Scott does push-ups to power out, so Beau comes in and drops an elbow across the back of his head. Blake tries for a suplex, but Scott blocks and takes him over with one of his own. Beau cuts off the hot tag, but gets caught with a double underhook slam. Rick finally gets the hot tag and makes Blake his bitch. Irish whip, and Rick with a back body drop. Release german suplex by Rick on Blake. Beau makes a save for some top rope move, but Rick comes off the ropes with clotheslines to both men. Scott comes back in with mounted punches on Blake, but gets caught in a Doomsday Device position. He counters with a victory roll on Beau for a two count. Irish whip is reversed, and the Frankensteiner ends Blakes night at 10:46. ** As some would say, this was "Perfectly Acceptable Wrestling." Neither team really made an effort to have a great match, since it was used mainly to put over the Steiners and to work in all of their big moves. However, it wasn't boring, and the resting was at a minimum, so huzzah.


- WWF Intercontinental Championship Match:
Shawn Michaels © vs. Marty Jannetty:
VIDEO RECAP! It was about a year ago that Michaels turned on Jannetty on the Barber Shop to kickoff his first heel run. Jannetty was "released" shortly after due to a house arrest sentence, then returned in October of '92 to beat up Shawn on SuperStars of Wrestling, and accidentally on purpose nailed Sherri with Shawn's heart-shaped mirror. The big deal though for this match is that Sherri is in a "nuetral corner", which means she'll turn on the heel somewhere in the middle of the match. Jannetty has some goofy ring attire for this match, that thankfully didn't see the light of day again. Michaels takes forever to disrobe of his entrance attire (a really cool looking gold outfit, for those that care. It doesn't mesh with his powder-blue belt leather though). Michaels talks smack before the match, so Jannetty clocks him with a roundhouse right. They run around outside and back in the ring until Jannetty slams Shawn's face into the canvas. Irish whip to the corner, and Jannetty catches Michaels coming out with an inverted atomic drop and running knee lift, sending Michaels over and out. Jannetty slingshots Michaels back in the ring and clotheslines him back out on the opposite side of the ring. Jannetty with a suicide dive and more punches (look! prostitutes!). Jannetty follows with a flying fist drop from the top rope to the floor. Jannetty tries it again, but Michaels catches him coming off with a punch of his own. Michaels scoops up Jannetty to ram his shoulder into the ring post, but Jannetty sells the WRONG shoulder... or maybe Shawn did it to the wrong shoulder, I don't know, but Michaels comes back out and rams the left shoulder into the post for good measure. Finally they go back into the ring, and Michaels connects with a shoulder breaker. Michaels pounds away on the left shoulder in the corner while Gorilla wonders why Shawn doesn't work the other. Because Jannetty is coked out of his mind! Michaels follows Jannetty out of the ring to slam him on the concrete. Back into the ring again, and Michaels applies a wristlock. Michaels continues working the arm and rams Jannetty's shoulder into the turnbuckle. Michaels heads to the top rope and comes off with a double axehandle to the shoulder. Michaels takes Jannetty down and applies an armbar. Jannetty taps out, but that's not a proper finish to a match for another four years. Jannetty fights free, but Michaels takes him back down with a single-arm DDT, for a two count. Michaels with another wristlock, and a splash across the arm. Jannetty escapes with rights, so Shawn pokes him in the eyes. Michaels with a scoop slam, but he comes off the turnbuckle into the boot of Jannetty. I never understood what the hell the heel is trying to do there, since it never works. Irish whip to corner, but Michaels misses a charge and rams his shoulder into the ring post. Jannetty finally mounts his comeback with a series of rights. Michaels dumps Jannetty out by using the tights. Michaels with a suplex attempt, but Jannetty counters on the apron and takes Michaels over the top and to the floor with his own! Sherri comes over to check on Shawn, then slaps him to a mild pop. Michaels of course, over-sells it badly, and Jannetty takes him back into the ring with a back suplex for a two count. Irish whip to the corner, and Michaels does the Harley Race bump out of the ring. Jannetty follows him out and rams Michaels into the steel steps. Back into the ring, and Jannetty catches Michaels off the ropes with a powerslam. Jannetty heads up to the top for his fist drop, but Michaels rolls away. Jannetty lands on his feet though, and nails a DDT for a two count. Irish whip to the corner... Michaels tries a superkick, but Jannetty ducks and nails his own for another two count. Irish whip and Michaels tries a sunset flip. A series of counters leads to Jannetty to slingshot Michaels into the post for a two count. The referee gets bumped during the chaos, and in comes Sherri to do something. Jannetty holds Shawn in place for Sherri to bop him with her shoe, but Jannetty takes the blow instead. Michaels mouths off Sherri before he casually picks Jannetty up and nail the superkick (with the spinning oversell) for the three count at 14:18. ***1/4 Very disappointing match from two guys who were supposed to, according to Jannetty, put on a classic match in Vince McMahon's eyes. The addition of Sherri to the match interrupted the flow of the match, and Jannetty being "out of it" for most of the match didn't help much, although outside of the ring post fuck up, it wasn't too noticable.

- We cut backstage for a Sherri interview, but we get Michaels/Jannetty brawling instead. I'm guessing if not for the untimely firing of Jannetty a week later (thanks to Michaels laying all the blame of the match not living up to the expectations of Vince on Jannetty and ratting him out for his unfit condition for the match), this probably would've lead to Jannetty winning the IC Title at WrestleMania IX... OK, that's more wishful thinking, but it made sense. This feud was far from over!


- The Reverend Slick cuts a promo about the WWF's Headlock on Hunger, including a special event held at Madison Square Garden later in the week, where the WWF donated $100,000 to the American Red Cross for the relief efforts in one of those loser countries. I still find it funny that THE UNDERTAKER was cutting promos about how people shouldn't starve to death. Couldn't they have used someone less creepy and to do with death? Oh, and to top it off, Gorilla Monsoon gives out the wrong information for the foundation. He doesn't catch the goof until later in the next match.


- Big Bossman vs. Bam Bam Bigelow:
No build up for this match. Bigelow had returned following the Survivor Series, and the Bossman was on his way out of the company, so Bigelow gets to be fed someone with credibility in hopes of building him up as a monster heel. This being Bossman's last big appearence (on PPV that is), Bobby Heenan makes a momma joke for old times sake. Bigelow attacks Bossman in the corner before the bell and quickly hammers on his lower back. Irish whip to the corner, and Bigelow nails an avalanch. Irish whip to the corner again, and Bossman is selling the back. Bigelow does more punching on the back. Heenan on Bossman's mother: her goatee is thicker than his. Bigelow sends Bossman out of the ring for more punishment. Back inside, and Bossman comes off the ropes with several clotheslines, followed by mounted punches. Bossman with more punching in the corner, and that's pretty much the whole match: Punching. Bossman with a side headlock, but Bigelow quickly counters with a back suplex. Bigelow misses a follow-up headbutt, and Bossman punches more. Irish whip to the corner, and Bigelow comes out into a punch and Bossman with a face-buster bulldog thing. Bossman tries a charge, but Bigelow back drops him over the top rope and to the floor. Back into the ring, and Bigelow works over the back more. Not much of note happens for a while, but Bigelow does apply a weird reverse bearhug. Bossman escapes then quickly gets dropped across the top rope for a two count. Bigelow goes back to the back and reapplies the bearhug. Bigelow tries a suplex, but Bossman blocks and takes Bigelow over with his own (and a sloppy one at that). Bigelow continues to dominate the match, but ends up missing a cross body press. Bossman takes Bigelow over with a back drop and does a wind-up punch like Popeye the Sailor Man. Bossman with a splash across the back of Bigelow, followed by a big punch on the outside. Irish whip to the corner, and Bossman runs into the boot of Bigelow, and gets dropped with a clothesline. Bigelow heads to the top rope, and ends Bossman's PPV run with the WWF with the flying headbutt at 10:09. 1/2* Nothing more than a super-extended squash match, with lots of punchy-kicky stuff and resting. I guess it did it's job though, since Bigelow was booked fairly strongly until Lawrence Taylor made him his bitch.


- WWF World Championship Match:
Bret "Hitman" Hart © vs. Razor Ramon:
Another match with very little build-up. The recap package shows Ramon making Owen his bitch on Mania and cutting a promo during the middle of a Sacramento Kings game. Gene interviews Bret just as he's about to come to the ring, so it's not very good, and the "it's personal" bit only works if he's feuding with the guy who beat up his family. I wonder how many times Scott Hall watched Scarface to get that awful cuban accent. Stu and Helen Hart are in the front row for the match! WOO! Ramon, sportsman of the year, tosses his toothpick at the kid who got Bret's glasses, so Bret kicks his ass for it. Ramon fights back with roundhouse rights and drives a series of knees to the midsection. Irish whip to the corner, and Bret's already selling like it's 20 minutes into the match. Ramon tries a charge, but his knee rams up against the turnbuckle. Bret with a single-leg trip and a sit down splash across the knee. Hart applies the Figure-Four 90 seconds into the match, so you'd probably expect this match to be really short. Hart sweeps the leg from under Ramon again and drops an elbow across the knee, and continues working the leg. Hart takes Ramon down again and wraps his leg around the ring post. Back into the ring, and Hart continues beating on the left knee of Ramon in the corner. Irish whip to the corner is reversed until Ramon whips Bret hard enough that he slides under the buckle and has his ribs smacked against the buckle. Ramon with a series of back breakers on the outside followed by ramming Hart's lower back into the post. Back into the ring, and Ramon's knee has magically healed over the last minute. Ramon slows the match way the fuck down with his boring crap of nothing. Ramon with the fallaway slam for a two count. Irish whip to the corner gives Bret a chance to work in his signature chest-first bump. Ramon applies an abdominal stretch, and for once it makes sense to use it. Bret manages to counter into his own, but Ramon hip tosses Bret off. Ramon misses a follow-up elbow drop, but puts Hart down with a shoulder block for a two count. Ramon continues to stomp away on the back of Hart and slams him face-first into the canvas. Irish whip and Hart comes off the ropes with a cross body for a two count. Hart with a elbow to the midsection, and a sunset flip gets another two count. Reverse chinlock applied by Ramon to kill time, and then goes into a bearhug. Bret escapes with biting and back drops Ramon over the top rope and to the floor. Suicide dive by Hart! Ramon is introduced to the ring steps, and the action goes back into the ring where Bret controls. Bret with several sessions of mounted punching in the corner and a lot more around the ring. Hart with a headbutt and more rights. Inverted atomic drop and clothesline by Hart gets a two count. Side back breaker by Hart, followed by a second turnbuckle clothesline for another two count. Running bulldog from out of the corner for yet another two count. Side Russian leg sweep for the millionth two count in the last minute. Sharpshooter attempt is countered with the use of the referee being thrown in the middle. Ramon takes control again by pounding on the ribs of Hart. The top rope back suplex is blocked with elbows, and Hart rolls through with a back suplex. Hart to the second turnbuckle again with a flying elbow drop attempt, but Ramon gets a boot up to nail Hart on the way down. For once I didn't see that coming. Ramon signals for the Razor's Edge, but Hart counters again and turns it into a back slide for a two count. Ramon applies a greco-roman knucklelock for no real reason. Ramon continues to control until Hart does a complex counter into a sunset flip position for a two count. Hart applies the Sharpshooter out of nowhere from a lying position, and Ramon gives up like the bitch he is, and Bret retains the belt at 17:58. ***1/2 Really good match, and probably Ramon's best non-gimmick match of his career. Although Ramon's offensive stretches were rather boring, they all worked into the story of the match, and Hart used his quick and sharp moves to keep my interest going.


- In the most homosexual moment of all time in 1993, Bobby Heenan, after weeks of bragging, unveils the Narcissist... Lex Luger! I say homosexual because Heenan appears to have an orgasm every time he screams at the top of his lungs about Luger's impressive body. Oh look, it's the prostitutes again! This goes on for WAY too long until Luger cuts a half-assed sucky promo on Mr. Perfect. I think I'd rather have had Perfect/Flair work their Retirement match at WrestleMania IX instead of a throw-away episode of Monday Night Raw than having to see this feud.


- More talking, except this time it's Julius Caesar and Cleopatra's cleavage to talk. This is painful to sit through, since Caesar doesn't work WWF Style and can't cut a promo to save his life. Short and simple, they hype up WrestleMania IX being at Caesar's Palace in Las Vegas, Nevada, on April 4th, 1993 at 4 p.m. EDT. No promos from the participants, so to the match...


- 30-Man Royal Rumble Match:
As mentioned earlier, the winner of the match gets a WWF Title match at WrestleMania IX. Several substitutions were done for Crush and Jim Duggan, but they didn't really explain it. Judging from the Reports leading up to the show though, I can guess it was Max Moon and Terry Taylor who filled in for them, since there's a rumor that the Romble '93 Program featured a page for a Moon/Taylor match on the PPV and that, of course, never happend (and the fact neither were featured in the reports until probably the last minute). In a weird bit of irony, Ric Flair draws his social security number, and Bob Backlund is #2. Backlund offers a handshake, but Flair just "Woo's" in his face. Backlund with a side headlock followed by a shoulder block. Backlund with a series of leg sweeps and some goofy dancing. Flair with a rake of the eyes and chops in the corner. Irish whip is reversed, and Backlund takes Flair over with a back body drop. Backlund with a delayed atomic drop, and Flair falls on his face for the 1st time. Backlund tries dumping Flair in the corner as we get the clock. #3 is Papa Shango, and he quickly hammers away on Backlund. Backlund is introduced to the buckle and Shango chokes away. Flair comes up from behind and easily dumps Shango out at 2:36 to a pretty good pop (Papa Shango - #1 Eliminated). Flair tries dumping Backlund, but he holds onto the ropes from the apron. Flair stomps away on Backlund and works him over in the corner some more. They exchange chops and slaps across the chest until Backlund sends Flair to the corner and tries dumping him again. #4 is Ted Dibiase, and he too goes after Backlund. Irish whip, and Dibiase knocks Backlund into the ropes with a back elbow. Flair and Dibiase lay a double shit kicking in on Backlund ("Can you get arrested for beating up the elderly?"). Flair and Dibiase trade chops on Backlund and try dumping him out, without success. Irish whip, and the heels put Backlund down with a double back elbow.

#5 is Brian Knobbs, and since he has a thing going with Money Inc. at the time, he goes right for Dibiase. Flair and Dibiase double team him upon entrance, but he comes off the ropes with a clothesline to both men. DOUBLE NOGGIN KNOCKER! Knobbs tries dumping Flair over, but he hangs on. Knobbs with a clothesline to Dibiase and some mounted punches until Flair makes the save with a rake of the eyes. Backlund wakes up from his nap to send Flair into the turnbuckle and allow Knobbs to continue fighting with his feud-partner. Knobbs gives Dibiase the pit-stop (rubbing his arm pit on the opponents face). #6 is Virgil, and one guess who he goes for. Dibiase attacks him quick, but Virgil comes back with an inverted atomic drops and his shuffling jabs and a clothesline. Backlund works on Flair as Virgil and Knobbs take over Dibiase with a double back drop. Backlund tries handling both heels, but Virgil pairs up on Flair while Knobbs works on Dibiase. Knobbs calls for a clothesline, but Dibiase ducks and Knobbs is gone at 9:01 (Brian Knobbs - #2 Eliminated). Virgil goes back to working on Dibiase since Knobbs is eliminated, and Backlund does his 1943 offense on Flair. Virgil rams Dibiase into the buckle a few times while Backlund appears to be holding in a shit while dangling on the ropes. #7 is Jerry Lawler, making his first in-ring appearence in the WWF. Lawler goes after Virgil since he doesn't like his kind. Flair saves with chops, so Lawler returns the favor with roundhouse rights. Flair bails to the outside, so Lawler goes back to Virgil to break up a double teaming on Dibiase. Virgil with chops on Lawler in the corner until Flair stomps on his knee. Lawler saves Virgil from elimination and rakes the eyes of Flair. Lawler with mounted punches on Flair in the corner until Virgil tries breaking that up. Flair/Virgil/Lawler continue having trouble pairing up properly.

#8 is Max Moon, but no one carea bout him. Moon hammers away on Flair and Lawler with roundhouse rights. Irish whip, and Moon with a dropkick on Lawler. Flair with a thumb to the eyes of Moon. Irish whip to the corner is reversed, and Moon takes Flair over with a back body drop. Flair works Moon over and tries dumping him, but Moon skins the cat back in and goes back to Flair for no reason. Moon rakes the eyes of Lawler and rams him into the buckle. Virgil breaks up a double teaming, so Flair tries dumping Moon again. Moon whips Lawler to the corner and nails a spinning heel kick type move, but a second fails and he goes over and out at 14:03 (Max Moon - #3 EliminateD). #9 is The Great Tenryu (Genichiro Tenryu, that is) and chops away on Flair, and that's the 2nd face-first flop of Flair. Lots of nothing is going on, since everyone is pretty heatless. Dibiase chops away on Tenryu in the corner and rams him into the buckle. Virgil winds up on the apron somehow, so Flair slingshots him back into the ring instead of knocking him off. Lots of hugging is going on, since no one feels like doing anything of interest. Tenryu and Dibiase continue having a basic brawl in the corner. #10 is Mr. Perfect, and the crowd goes HAPPY! Flair thumbs him in the eyes, but gets nailed in the corner with rights and chops. Flair goes to the top rope for some reason, and Perfect slams him off. Float-over neck-snap by Perfect, but Flair fights back again with a rake of the eyes. The cameraman pays attention to nothing but them two for the entire portion of Perfect's entrance. Perfect with mounted punches in the corner followed by an elimination attempt while Tenryu stands around.

#11 is Skinner, but he's nothing more than a Jobber at this point. He goes after Perfect for a quick double team with Flair, but leaves soon after. Irish whip to the ropes, Perfect ducks a chop and clotheslines Flair over the top and out at 18:39 (Ric Flair - #4 Eliminated). Perfect gloats about the elimination until Lawler attacks him from behind. Tenryu continues to stand around before taking a few shots at Backlund. Perfect hammers away on Lawler while everyone stands around more. #12 is Koko B. Ware and his Super-Sized Pajamas. Ware goes after Tenryu since he's the only guy he can probably beat in the eyes of WWF fans. Ware works over Lawler in the corner in a little USWA Mini-Match that only 3 people would notice. Virgil continues working on Dibiase, doing nothing interesting of course. Perfect tries dumping Skinner, but he skins the cat back in, so Perfect nails a running dropkick to send him over the top and out at 21:23 (Skinner - #5 Eliminated). Dibiase and Tenryu double chop on Perfect and Backlund pairs up with Virgil to do notihng again. #13 is Headshrinker Samu, but no one cares again. This match has really gotten boring in the last couple of minutes since Flair being eliminated. Samu with headbutts on random people, although mainly on babyfaces. Tenryu with a sloppy enziguri on Pefect, and Lawler comes off with a big right. Backlund holds Lawler in place for a chop, then Samu takes some shots at the King, since no one likes him. Lawler with a DDT on Perfect. Dammit, I didn't think it was hard to keep the crowd into it, but the crowd is fucking dead for this match. #14 is The Berzerker (HUSS! HUSS! GIVE HIM A HUSS FOR ME BIG BOY!), and he hammers away on everyone that's in reaching distance. Finally, some house cleaning, as Perfect back drops Lawler out at 24:54 (Jerry Lawler - #6 Eliminated). Dibiase and Ware double team Perfect in hopes of eliminating him, but he holds on like death to the ropes. In the meantime, Berzerker boots Virgil over the top rope and out at 25:15, but no one notices (Virgil - #7 Eliminated). After a long struggle, Dibiase boots Perfect in the head to get him off the apron at 25:29 to finish the elimination (Mr. Perfect - #8 Eliminated). Perfect and Lawler brawl, but they never had a program, so it was pretty much a waste of time and "Effort."

#15 is The Undertaker, and the crowd finally wakes up, since they know he's going to be cleaning house of some of the suck in the ring. Samu goes after him first with clubbing blows and headbutts. In the meantime, Berzerker takes Backlund out of the ring. Back in the ring we see Undertaker goozle and chokeslam Samu over the top and to the floor at 27:07 (Headshrinker Samu - #9 Eliminated). Tenryu hammers on Undertaker with chops and follows with an enziguri, but a charge leads to Undertaker back dropping him out at 27:29 (Tenryu - #10 Eliminated). Undertaker chokes Dibiase while Berzerker pounds on Koko. #16 is Terrific Terry Taylor, and his number is higher than the amount of time he lasts in the match, as Dibiase dumps him and Koko out at the same time while they have a Jobber-Fight near the ropes at 28:47 (Koko B. Ware & Terry Taylor - #11 & #12 Eliminated). Undertaker, pissed off at Dibiase doing his job for him, busts out a (then) rare chokesalam and clotheslines Dibase out at 29:06 (Ted Dibiase - #13 Eliminated). While Berzerker appears to be giving Undertaker head in the corner, out comes The Giant Gonzalez... stop laughing! Back in the ring, and Undertaker eliminates the Berzerker at 29:41 (The Berzerker - #14 Eliminated). #17 is Damian Demento, but he hangs around in the aisle and outside the ring. The Undertaker and Gonzalez have a 500 year long staredown until Gonzalez knocks Undertaker around and sends him flying over the top for the shitty elimination at 30:50 (The Undertaker - #15 Eliminated). Gonzalez continues beating up the Undertaker around the ring, but no one really cares. #18 is Irwin R. Schyster, and he does the same thing as Demento. Finally Gonzalez leaves after crippling the Undertaker around the ring post. Back in the ring, Demento and I.R.S. stomp away on Backlund, who was playing dead for the last 5 minutes. Whoever came up with the Giant Gonzalez idea needs to be shot. I blame Nailz the most though, since him being fired suddenly canceled his suck-ass feud with the Undertaker. I always wondered if Demento ever cut promos from the Event Center.

#19 is Tatanka (Buffalo), but the crowd is pretty damn dead again. Out comes Paul Bearer to raise the Undertaker with "the Power of the Urn", and what the hell is Undertaker holding in his hand, one of the prostitutes phone numbers? We watch Undertaker stagger back to the locker room while doing his best Marty Jannetty imitation. Demento/Backlund and I.R.S./Tatanka pair up for lots of hugging and punches and punching and hugging. #20 is Jerry Saggs, and no one cares Part III. He hates Money Inc., so we get another little bit of action featuring feud-partners. Saggs dominates thanks to using Irwin's tie for leverage, a tradition used in every match ever where someone got offense against Rotundo. Backlund and Tatanka double team Demento, but it's more like Backlund sucks wind while Tatanka chops away. #21 is Typhoon, and the only interesting thing here is Heenan goofing up and calling him "Tugboat." Since the Natural Disastors still hate Money Inc., guess who he wants to beat up, too. Typhoon squashes Demento in the corner with his big belly, and damn is this match really awful. After a long time of that, I.R.S. finally goes for Typhoon and rakes his eyes. #22 is Headshrinker Fatu... Jesus, couldn't they have made an undercard with Head Shrinkers vs. Nasty Boys while adding in Jannetty and Michaels to the rumble to add SOME talent? Fatu kicks off his streak of winless Rumbles (9 total) with lots of headbutts and worthless brawling. I.R.S. tries dumping fellow heel Demento, but Typhoon makes the save and squashes Irwin in the corner for his troubles. Backlund noggin kknockers Irwin and Demento, but he's too tired to do anything else.

#23 is Earthquake, and he goes after his own partner... and no one cares. FEEL THE ELECTRICITY! I said it before, and I'll say it again... this match sucks. They proceed to have a sucky little mini-match until Earthquake ducks a charge in the corner and back drops Typhoon and his big ass belly at 43:50 (Typhoon - #16 Eliminated). Saggs comes over to attack Earthquake, but Quake isn't selling tonight. There's way too many tag team wrestlers in this. We got half of the Nasty Boys, Head Shrinkers, Natural Disastors, and Money Inc. doing nothing. #24 is Carlos Colon, "The Caribbean Champion", and in the biggest bit of unintentional comedy, Gorilla Monsoon has the balls to say "there's a lot of fire in this YOUNGSTER." Colon stomps away on Demento then weakly hammers away on I.R.S. Backlund continues taking a beating from everyone, lying on the floor a lot. Colon and Demento go at it until Colon back drops Demento out at 45:59 (Damian Demento - #17 Eliminated). Damn that's mean... being eliminated by a one-shot wrestler without much trouble. Tatanka and Saggs join forces of the Native Americans and Sleazeball Punks to double team "the man" who audits them. #25 is El Matador Tito Santana, but he's about 5 years being past the point of doing anything worth noting other than lying on his back for three counts every night. Backlund eliminates Fatu at 47:18, his first elimination of the match (Headshrinker Fatu - #18 Eliminated). The camera kinda misses it, so Heenan accuses Fatu of throwing himself out. Santana tries dumping Backlund a few times while nothing else happens. Colon tries working over Earthquake, but he's a midget compared to him, so Earthquake no-sells and punks him out with bionic elbows. The crowd chants something, but it's not very clear.

#26 is The Model Rick Martel, and naturally, he goes after Santana for old times sake. Martel hammers away with rights, but Santana fights back and rams Martel into the buckle ten times and returns some punches of his own. While that happens, Irwin misses a clothesline on Earthquake and goes flying out at 49:33 (Irwin R. Schyster - #19 Eliminated). More nothing happens, and I'm thanking God this match is almost over. #27 is Yokozuna, and it's time to clean house. He takes forever to get to the ring, probably stopping halfway down the aisle to eat a bowl of rice. Tatanka tries beating up Yokozuna, but he's too fat, and Yokozuna casually dumps the Lumpy Indian out at 52:06 (Tatanka - #20 Eliminated). Colon is the next victim, but for some reason he looks to be smiling and laughing every time Yokozuna hits him. This goes on until Yokozuna dumps Colon onto the apron and quickly knocks him off at 52:25 (Carlos Colon - #21 Eliminated). Earthquake and Yokozuna have a confrontation now. #28 is The Rocket Owen Hart, but the camera man doesn't care, and neither does anyone else, since we see him run in and quickly go back to the mass of fat-ass trying to see who can make the other's tits jiggle faster. Afteer a whole lot of nothing, Yokozuna avoids an avalanch in the corner and does a really ugly and pathetic looking belly-to-belly suplex to eliminate Earthquake at 53:53 (Earthquake - #22 Eliminated). #29 is the Repo Man, who will no doubt clean house with the power of Demolition, but instead he runs in and quickly gets knocked on his ass by Yokozuna. After a lot more of nothing, everyone manages to gang up on Yokozuna near the ropes, but his fat-ass defies gravity, and fights them all off, this killing off any hopes of someone not named Yokozuna winning.

Final Field: (#3) Bob Backlund, (#20) Jerry Saggs, (#25) Tito Santana, (#26) Rick Martel, (#27) Yokozuna, (#28) Owen Hart, (#29) Repo Man, (#30) Randy Savage:
Savage rushes the ring to attack his two-week feud partner the Repo Man (he stole his hat on the January 18th episode of Monday Night Raw). LET THE CANNON FODDER ELIMINATIONS BEGIN! Yokozuna dumps out Santana pretty roughly at 58:05 (Tito Santana - #23 Eliminated). Lots of stuff of not worth mentioning continues going on. Owen Hart and Saggs double team Martel, but face miscommunication has Owen dropkicking Saggs over and out at 58:23 (Jerry Saggs - #24 Eliminated). Owen skins the cat back in to go after Yokozuna, but Yokozuna no sells and throws Owen out (and awkwardly landing on his leg) at 58:53 (Owen Hart - #25 Eliminated). Savage then dumps Repo Man out not long after at 58:59 (Repo Man - #26 Eliminated). Savage/Yokozuna and Backlund/Martel pair-up in opposite corners of the ring. Backlund takes a shit kicking until he manages to suplex Martel onto the top turnbuckle and knock him off at 1:00:29 (Rick Martel - #27 Eliminated). Backlund goes after Yokozuna, because he's really that stupid. Backlund manages to throw a couple of dropkicks to stagger Yokozuna, but he stupidly tries a charge and Yokozuna casually sidesteps him and dumps Backlund at 1:01:13 to a chorus of boos (Bob Backlund - #28 Eliminated). That record would last until 2004 when Benoit lasted 24 seconds longer. Yokozuna pounds away on Savage as Mr. Fuji comes to ringside to encourage the Japanaese Samoan from the Polonesian Islands. Yokozuna with choking in the corner, followed by more choking. Savage comes back with boots to the midsection and a series of jabs. Savage staggers Yokozuna with a series of clotheslines and comes off the top rope with a double axehandle. Savage goes to the top again and delivers a second axehandle. Savage bounces off the ropes, and runs right into a reverse crescent kick. Yokozuna with a belly-to-belly suplex and drops a fat-ass leg drop for extra damage. Irish whip to the corner, and Yokozuna nails his reverse avalanch. He goes for it again, but Savage moves out of the way. Yokozuna falls down from the impact, and Savage comes off the top rope with the flying elbow drop... and then tries to COVER?! Yokozuna easily presses Savage up and out to win the Rumble match at 1:06:36 while Gorilla calmly says you can't win with a pinfall, and thus ends the (at the time) worst Rumble Match to date. **1/4 Just to understand my rating, *** is the minimum for a decent Rumble. ** or less is an awful Rumble that deserves to be ripped apart for a half hour. This had very little flow, no big matches, and too many Jobbers doing nothing more than hugging and punching for over an hour.


Final Thoughts: While the undercard featured a couple of very good title matches and a decent opener, the Rumble match was pretty damn awful, and the good in the undercard isn't good enough to save the show. Better matches between Michaels and Jannetty could be found on several episodes of Raw later in the year, and Hart has had countless better matches throughout his entire career to watch, so a Solid Thumbs Down for the 1993 Royal Rumble.

I liked the 93 Rumble. As you mentioned Bret/Razor and HBK/Jannetty were both good. And I didn't mind Beverlies/Steiners or Bam Bam/Bossman, I just hate how bad the Rumble match was booked. It's still fun but there's way too many nobodies in the match. If it were up to me, if Hogan and Beefcake had to return they should've done it here. They should've put HBK and Jannetty in the Rumble anyway, along with Kamala, Crush, Doink and Duggan (Yoko could've done the Bonzai spot the next night on Raw). Boot Terry Taylor, Max Moon, Damien Demento, Berzerker, Skinner, Repo Man, Tenryu and Carlos Colon as they were on the way out in a couple of months or unknown. But anyway I liked as a decent PPV, just the Rumble needs a lot of rebooking.

Duggan's banzai squashing was taped several weeks before the Rumble, as was the 1/25/93 Raw :D. He was still being promoted for the match the week before the PPV, then suddenly didn't compete. I remember when #30 came up, I said "here's Duggan" and totally forgot Savage was still coming out.

Yeah I know, but I was fantasy booking. But the Rumble match would've much better this way. It's also crazy how Warrior, Nailz, Mountie and Bulldog were schedule to be in this Rumble match too. I guess this is the extent of all of the talent loss that happened in late 92 with the steroid rumors etc..

Wha? Warrior, Bulldog, and the Mountie were all released/quit before the Survivor Series. There was never an intention of the last two being in it, but who knows with Warrior. He's just a crazy bastard. Nailz I'm pretty sure was scheduled to be in it, but never made it to T.V. thanks to choking out Vince.


Edit: Using Bulldog and a Mountie in hopes of better workrate isn't really the best argument. Bulldog during his prime was good, but once he went solo in 1990 and pumped the steroids every 5 minutes, he was near awful, and Jacques Rougeau was never that good to begin with.

Thst should explain it, and Mountie was booked for Series as was Warrior and Bulldog so he was supposed to be in the Rumble for sure.

The Rumble isn't about workrate, it's about fun. Davey was always a solid-good worker, and in the early 90s he just had to be in shorter matches before he would blow up. And Jacques were always good, I'd say he was the better half of the Rougeaus and he was better than Oulette in the Quebecers. He was just a nice, cocky heel worker. As for Nailz, yeah he was set to be in the match and feud with Taker instead of Giant Gonzales. It's too bad that either way Taker would've been given shit to work with :( .

Jacques better than Pierre?! WHA!?!? Pierre today is a better worker than Jacques in his prime, and the guys about as big as a house. Jacques couldn't bump well, and he rarely did anything other than the basic resting and punching. I'll give him credit for being a good heel that can work a crowd, but if he's in the ring with a not-so-good wrestler, he's not going to be performing miracles.

Jacques actually did some great stooging in the Rougeaus matches with The Bulldogs and The Rockers. He's no great carrier unfortunately as he couldn't do anything good with the WWF stiffs from the early 90's but he's a very good tag worker. As for Pierre, I like Pierre, he was the bumper in the Quebecers tag team. But he's nowhere as good as a heel as Jacques. To his credit, he has some good matches Bret in 1995, but I would like the see how good a match with Bret and Jacques would be if given the amount of time the Bret/Pierre matches were given in 95.

Hahaha. Nice. Seriously.....this got a nice laugh out of me.

There's my good joke of 2006. Now back to the bad ones, most revolving around Shawn Michaels being gay.