TNA iMPACT!
January 14, 2006

-This is my first TNA review in quite some time. I got out of work early tonight, so it was convenient for me.

-Our hosts for the evening are Mike Tenay and Don West. They are shilling Sunday’s Final Resolution pay-per-view, which will feature the return of Sting!

Abyss (with James Mitchell) vs Jay Lethal

Abyss is heading into a match against Rhino at Final Resolution. I smell a squash. Lethal hits a drop kick to the head of Abyss. Abyss strikes and Lethal escapes further assault into a corner. Abyss charges at him anyway. Abyss sets Lethal up in a torture rack and drops him down. Mitchell hops up on the apron to give Abyss some instructions. Abyss hits the Black Hole Slam on Abyss and pins him for the win at 1:15. Lethal deserves better booking than this. DUD. I guess Abyss did need to look strong going into the pay-per-view.
Winner: Abyss

-A video package plays, giving the results of the online year end awards that fans voted for online. Mike Tenay gets into the ring and is going to award the “MVP” award. AJ Styles wins the award for the third consecutive year. There is an audible “Joe got screwed” chant, some fans feeling that Samoa Joe was the uncrowned champion. Styles thanks the fans who voted for him (none of them seem to be in the arena) and he puts over his match at Final Resolution. Shannon Moore runs into the ring and tosses powder in AJ’s face. Moore steals the plaque that had just been awarded to Styles and flees the arena.

-A video package hyping the debut of Sting airs. They interviewed a bunch of marks who seem to think its still 1997.

-We go to a never-ending commercial segment.

-Tenay and West put over Final Resolution again, with its main event being Jeff Jarrett and Monty Brown vs Sting and Christian Cage. They go on to discuss how Konnan and his new group beat up the 66 year old “Bullet” Bob Armstrong. This heads into a video package looking back on how Konnan turned on the Kru. For those of you not in the know, Armstrong is the father of Kru member, BG James. This leads to BG James and Kip James standing by with Shane Douglas. BG has no idea where this dark side of Konnan came from and he cannot believe he had it in him. Kip adds in that “hell is coming.”

Samoa Joe vs Cassidy Riley

Christopher Daniels joins West and Tenay at the commentator’s booth. I am sure Daniels has no ambition of attacking Joe or anything. I smell another squash. Joe’s X title is not on the line. Riley is quick on the attack against Joe, but it has no effect. Joe knocks Cassidy down with little effort. Joe whips Cassidy in the ropes and hits an atomic drop. Joe drops his big ass on Cassidy. Shannon Moore comes running into the ring and runs around with AJ’s plaque. Styles runs in, takes down Joe, and resumes his chase on Moore. Cassidy goes for the cover, and Joe gets out of it. Joe comes back with a vengeance and hits a knee to the head of Cassidy Riley. Joe sets him up for the Muscle Buster puts him in the rear naked choke for the submission win at 1:54. This was a squash and the bit with Moore and Styles was random. DUD.
Winner: Samoa Joe

-After the match Joe proceeds to beat Cassidy Riley down. Daniels runs in for the save and ducks a chair shot. Daniels kicks the chair into Joe’s face and then nails him with it. This pretty much guarantees that Joe is retaining the X title at Final Resolution.

-Shane Douglas is standing by with Jackie Gayda, who claims she has dirt on Jeff Jarrett. Gayda tells Douglas that it is not his problem to solve the issue and that it is between her and Jeff Jarrett. Scott D’Amore comes in and tells Jackie he delivered her blackmail letter to Jarrett and that he read it. Scott thinks she is blowing the whole thing out of proportion and agrees that Jarrett is a liar. Scott thinks Jackie’s demands are outrageous. The segment is interrupted by AJ Styles and Shannon Moore brawling into their area. Jackie Gayda showed more talking skills in this one segment than she did in three years with WWE.

Team Canada vs Matt Bentley, Sonjay Dutt, and Chris Sabin (with Tracy Brooks)

Team Canada consists of A-1, Eric Young, and Petey Williams. It is scary how over Bentley is in the iMPACT Zone, with many fans doing the “Bentley bounce.” Sabin starts the match off for his team, and goes to battle against Petey Williams. Tag is made to Bentley, who takes down Williams and goes for an early cover. Tracy gets on the apron for a distraction and Bentley almost gets a roll-up victory. Bentley takes Williams down and gets another near fall. Williams comes back with some punches, and Dutt is tagged in. Dutt gets a near fall in but a tag is made to A-1. A-1 uses his power, but Dutt is fast. He springboards off the ropes but is caught by A-1. A-1 slams Dutt down and goes a near fall. Meanwhile, Alex Shelley is at ringside, taping the match. Eric Young is tagged into the match but is a victim of a head scissors take down. Sabin is tagged in and nails Eric Young. Williams is tagged back in and is victim of a lariat from Sabin. Sabin kicks Williams in the head and hits a back suplex into a near fall. Sonjay Dutt comes back into the match and springboards over the ropes on the other Team Canada members. Back in the ring, Sabin goes for a cradle shock but it is reversed by Williams. Alex Shelley makes a distraction and Sabin is caught in the Canadian Destroyer from Williams, who gets the win at 3:50. This match was a real mess, ¼*.
Winners: Team Canada

-Raven gets his own video package. Raven states his most painful moment in TNA was when James Mitchell “skinned him” (translation: shaved his head). Raven puts over his match at Final Resolution where he will face a mystery opponent, chosen by Larry Zbyszko. Raven has been triumphant against his other two mystery opponents (Chris Kanyon and Justin Credible) so he has his confidence going for him.

-We get a short video package where Jarrett and Brown moan and groan about the new faces who have arrived in TNA within the past several months.

America’s Most Wanted (with Gail Kim) vs Christian Cage and Rhino

AMW will face Team 3-D at Final Resolution, defending their NWA Tag Team Championship. The titles are not on the line in this one. Rhino still gets a great pop, he won many fans over back at Bound for Glory. Christian gets a good pop from the audience as well. Christian and Rhino are two guys who just were not fitting into WWE anymore, so it is good to see they had an alternative in TNA. The match will begin after a commercial break.

Christian and Chris Harris start the match. Christian stalls at the start, playing to the crowd. They tie up and push each other in the corner. Harris gets some knees into the gut of Christian, and takes control. Harris knocks Christian down with another punch. Christian comes back and gets some momentum going, even attempting a pin fall. Christian tags in Rhino, who shoulder blocks Harris into the corner, snap mares him, and makes a cover attempt. It is a near fall, and a tag is made to James Storm. Rhino pummels away at Storm and arm drags him. Rhino goes for another should block, but Storm moves out of the way. Tag is made to Harris, and AMW double team Rhino. Harris throws Rhino shoulder-first into a turnbuckle. He tosses Rhino into AMW’s corner, and Storm chokes him on the ropes. Rhino soon comes back with a power slam on Harris and tags in Christian. Christian hits a back breaker into the back shoulder of Harris. Gail Kim makes a distraction and Christian is the victim of a body to body over head suplex and exits the ring in spectacular fashion. I just realize I forgot to start the stop-watch, but it was about five minutes of action thus far. We head into another commercial.

After the break, Chris Harris is in charge of Christian Cage. Harris hits a stall suplex on Cage and goes for a cover. Cage kicks out, so Harris tags Storm in for a double team. Storm hits some head-butts on Christian. Christian blocks a super-kick and hits an inverted DDT of his own on Storm. Christian is so dazed, he fails to find his own corner to tag Rhino in. Christian finally makes the tag, and Rhino cleans house on AMW. Rhino gets a spine buster in and gets a near fall on Storm. Christian perches himself on the top turnbuckle and hits a flying Crossbody on Harris. Christian sooner counters the Catatonic from Harris and sets him up for the Unprettier. Gail Kim enters the ring and low blows Christian to save Harris. Gail Kim climbs to the top rope for some more interference, but Team 3-D runs in and Bubba Ray knocks her off. Team 3-D enters the ring and attack AMW. Rhino hits a Gore and Christian gets in a frog splash for the victory! The match was a bit under ten minutes. The match was fairly dull for the most part, but had some exciting parts. *3/4.
Winners: Christian Cage and Rhino

After the match, Jeff Jarrett, Abyss, and Monty Brown run in for a big brawl. The faces and heels fight each other in a good old fashioned ECW-style brawl. Monty Brown is the last man standing in all of the chaos, pouncing the life out of Christian. He holds Cage up for a guitar shot from Jeff Jarrett, and they lay him again. The lights go out and the scorpion symbol shows up on the screens. Sting’s voice boons throughout the arena “Let the mind-games begin!” Sting is calling Jarrett the “Queen of the Mountain” and Brown is the “Alpha Female.” I don’t think even John Cena would have even touched nick-names that lame.

Final thoughts: This was a disappointing iMPACT to come back to. There was no “good” match to save the show and the endless squash matches are becoming tedious. The good was that the show made Final Resolution look like it is worth the 30 dollar price tag and it is good to see some angles developing. TNA has a very talented, credible talent roster and they are always fun to watch.

Thumbs down.

Even when it's Thumbs Down, you can't bash the show. (throws garbage)

Hey, I usually find nice things to say about Raw when I give it a thumbs down (which is almost always).

Good point... but you're too nice. Rip into something for once. Watch KOTR '95 or GAB '91.

Yeah, just last night I was thinking that I have yet to go all out into ripping apart a show. Even the shows I pick up because I think they will suck hard enough turn out to be sort of decent (GAB 04 comes to mind).

I was thinking of grabbing GAB 05 at some point because it's still at Best Buy, I wish I could have bought up Movie Scene's WCW collection when they went out of business. Long before this board came into creation, I rented Great American Bash 99 and at this point in time I would label that the worst pay-per-view I've ever seen (granted I haven't seen GAB 91, or Heroes of Wrestling).

I should do a review for Judgment Day 2003. That show really pissed me off.

I liked JDay 2003, but not a lot.


I'll send you copies of GAB '99 and Heroes of Wrestling to review... MY GOD, those shows suck ass. It makes me hate being a wrestling fan.

That would be fun. Want money and an address to send them to?

$5 for a blank tape, small envelope, and stamps should cover it. Only if you review the shows, though. Otherwise it's $10 like everyone else. :D

:lol:

That's awesome. Okay, just send me your billing information over PM and I'll scrounge up some cash.

Be warned: These shows are hazardous to your health, and should not be viewed by anyone. Heavily medicated mental state is advised.

:D Having seen GAB 99, I have an idea of the horrors I am about to put myself through. I guess you could say I am a masochist.

Can I add another five for GAB 91?

I don't have GAB '91, but I do have KOTR '95 and IYH: DX, 2 other PPV's I labeled as the worst ones ever.

Hmm... I think I'll stick with HOW and GAB 99 for now, but those other two do sound despicable (particularly KOTR 95).

Even I'm not brave enough to review those shows... (cries) So awful. AWFUL I TELLS YA! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAWFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUL!!!

Here's a bad show you need to review... Uncensored 1995. (has nightmares)

I just looked up Scott Keith's review of IYH:DX and I wouldn't touch that show like her name was Lita.

Why not? It's really bad, and you need to rip into a show good. Also it has a cool ending.

Yeah, I'm going to send you the money for those shows as soon as a I get a ten dollar bill in my posession. Lately all I've had are 20's that keep disappearing on other stuff (ie, gas) and the use of my debit card.

Disappear a $20 on me and I'll do something nice for you. ;)

We'll see :lol:

I have to be careful with my funds, valentines day is right around the corner, and it's a double whammy for me since it is also the two year anniversary with my girlfriend.

Wussy. :D