WWF Royal Rumble 1990
- No random rambling introduction today, sorry. This is the Coliseum Video version again, but this time everything is left intact, unlike in 1989 and 1991 where matches were removed that were from the PPV Version. We open the show with Vince, once again, running down the list of participants in the Royal Rumble Match: The Ultimate Warrior, The Honkytonk Man, Randy Savage, Roddy Piper, Andre The Giant, Jimmy Snuka, Bad News Brown, Shawn Michaels, Haku, Demolition Ax, Rick Martel, Koko B. Ware, Bret Hart, The Warlord, Hercules, Rick Rude, Marty Jannetty, Mr. Perfect, Demolition Smash, Jake Roberts, Jim Neidhart, The Barbarian, Dusty Rhodes, Tito Santana, Akeem, The Red Rooster, Earthquake, Ted Dibiase, Dino Bravo, and Hulk Hogan.
- Live from Orlando, Florida, held on January 21st, 1990 (Duh), with Jesse Ventura and Tony Schiavone doing commentary for the show. Ventura is sporting Mickey Mouse merchandise, probably in a way to shill Disney World, and Ventura presents Schiavone with a Goofy cap.
- The Bushwackers vs. The Fabulous Rougeau Brothers (w/ Jimmy Hart):
(Butch & Luke vs. Jacques & Raymond)
Yikes! Remember back when the Rumble undercard was filled with crappy matches so all of the main eventers could be in the Rumble? Those were the days... These two teams must've wrestled a hundred times in 1989, including WrestleMania V and the Survivor Series, as well as an episode of Saturday Night's Main Event, and the Bushwackers won every encounter, apparently. Jacques is sporting a beard for the match, and Raymond looks really hairy suddenly. We get plenty of stalling once the bell rings. Butch and Raymond do the formal starting of the match a little more than two minutes in. Raymond sucker kicks Butch and punches a bit. Raymond applies a sleeper hold, but Butch escapes then bites the butt. Butch then bites the butt of the referee, and Jacques comes in to get poked in the eyes. Luke and Jacques got at it now, with nothing more than punching being done. Really bad comedy going on until the Bushwackers clean house with clotheslines. Jacques comes back in to call Butch a chicken then dares Luke to attack him from behind. Raymond in turn attacks Luke from behind, allowing Jacques to stomp away. Raymond chokes Luke with the tag rope while Jacques plays monkey in the middle with the referee and Bitch. Irish whip, and Raymond nails a reverse cresent kick to the midsection for a two count. Irish whip to the corner, and Luke is sent out of the ring for Jacques to work him over. Luke continues to take a beating in the ring, with nothing much of note going on. Jacques tags back in to nail a diving back elbow, then does a kip up to show-off to a chorus of boos. The Rougeaus double team Luke more and drop him throat first across the top rope. Snapmare and Raymond applies a reverse chinlock. Luke bites free, but the Rougeaus remain in control. Jacques finally works in is abdominal stretch spot. In comes Raymond again to apply a chinlock. This match just won't end! Slam by Raymond, but a Jacques splash meets the knees of Luke. Butch FINALLY gets the hot tag, and cleans the clock of Raymond. Butch works on both men until Luke recovers for a pier-six brawl. The Rougeaus get whipped into each other. Jimmy Hart prevents a battering ram, so the Bushwackers tease rippinghis pants off until the Rougeaus save and roll up Butch for a two count. Raymond with a Boston Crab applied. Luke prevents another double teaming. A battering ram nails both men, and Butch covers Jacques for the three count at 13:34. Yes... we got nearly 15 minutes for all of this. DUD Not one redeamable factor about this match. There were maybe 2 wrestling moves the whole match, a shit load of stalling, and just flat out long and boring. This would mark the final appearence of Raymond Rougeau as a wrestler in the WWF, and Jacques final match until nearly a year later when he became The Mountie.
- Mean Gene Okerlund is with Ted Dibiase and Virgil. Okerlund brings up how Dibiase picked the #30 entry number. Jack Tunney apparently had Virgil pick Dibiase's number for him, and he gets to be the first person in. This was the first time they actually gave away an entry number before the match actually happened. Dibiase predicts victory, of course.
- Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake vs. The Genius:
If you thought the last match sucked ass, this one is going to be about five times worse! Hogan was currently doing a mini-feud with Mr. Perfect, who was managed by the Genius. Since Beefcake is Hogan's lap dog, he got shoe-horned into that somehow, so we get this match. I'd rather Beefcake be in the rumble instead of wrestling in an actual match, but beggers can't be choosers. The Genius gives us a pre-match poem as usual. Lots of stalling to begin, with the Genius playing the cowardly heel that's also a pansy. A Lockup goes into the corner, and Beefcake gives a clean break... then demonsrates to the Genius what he can do with his butt. The Genius does some more acrobats. A second lockup goes into the corner, and this time the Genius rakes the eyes. The Genius works over Beefcake with punches, but gets nailed with an inverted atomic drop. MORE STALLING. Every time Beefcake gets in some big offensive maneuver, the Genius runs outside to hide. I pretty much described the whole match already: The Genius controls with generic offense, Beefcake does stuff, Genius cheats. Lather, rinse, repeat. Beefcake makes the Wonder-Woman comeback, doing nothing more than the most basic of maneuvers. Irish whip, and the Sleeper Hold causes a referee bump. Hebner took a good one, too. This reminds me playing Royal Rumble for SNES: I would constantly knock out the referee so I could cheat like crazy. Back to the match... Beefcake finally locks in the sleeper, but the referee is down and out. He goes for the scissors, and starts cutting away until Mr. Perfect runs in (wearing orange singlet with green and black back), and the bell rings at 11:06, probably because of a Disqualification... yup, a DOUBLE Disqualification. That's really lame. Afterwards, Perfect bashes Beefcake good with a steel chair. DUD Just as bad as the previous match, but thankfully it was a couple of minutes shorter. What a way to open the PPV, with two awful matches.
- Sean Mooney is backstage now with Bobby Heenan and the Heenan Family, Rick Rude, Andre The Giant, and Haku. Mooney tries stirring shit with the Heenan Family. Rick Rude says if he has to, he'll beat up Haku. Haku rebutts that, and now Andre starts mumbling about something.
- Submission Match:
"Rugged" Ronnie Garvin vs. Greg "The Hammer" Valentine (w/ Jimmy Hart):
Finally after nearly a year long feud of epic proportions, the blowoff of the Hammer Jammer... I mean Valentine/Garvin feud over Valentine retiring Garvin on Superstars, and Garvin becoming a referee to screw Valentine out of matches, even when he didn't cheat! Neither man gets an entrance, which is pretty weird seeing on a PPV. Valentine stalls, of course, but Garvin follows him out eventually and slaps him across the chest. Garvin nails Valentine with more chops and covers, but this is a Submission match. Valentine is rammed into the buckle 7 times and Garvin pounds away. Valentine fights back with some chops of his own, and now they exchange blows, resulting in Valentine taking his traditional face-first bump. Valentine takes control again, dropping a big elbow. He misses a second though, but is first up to drive a knee to the midsection of Garvin. Valentine with a headbutt to the midsection, then goes for a cover, but it's a Submission match. Valentine gives Garvin a taste of his own medicine with a fluery of punches. Garvin comes back again, but a headbutt puts both men down. Garvin goes for a piledriver, but Valentine blocks. Both men try pins, but it's a Submission match. Valentine works over Garvin in the corner with chops until both men collide, and go down again. Valentine turns his Hart-Breaker shin-guard around, probably to set up a figure-four soon. Valentine with a series of elbow drops, followed by some choking. Valentine applies the Figure-Four, but Garvin's Hammer Jammer is protecting him... then Garvin, to add insult to injury, MAKES FACES AT VALENTINE WHILE IN THE FIGURE FOUR. Valentine breaks and gets caught in a small package... You know the rest of the sentence. Valentine picks up Garvin for an overhead backbreaker submission. Really dull match going on, but better than the last few. Garvin blocks a figure-four attempt, so Valentine chokes. BIG slaps by Garvin across the chest of the Hammer. Garvin beats the crpao ut of Valentine in the corner with punches and headbutts. Single leg trip by Garvin, and he works over the left knee of Valentine with a modified STF type hold. The action spills outside where both men go at it again with chops. Valentine back drops Garvin out of a piledriver attempt on the floor, and now it goes back into the ring. Valentine works over Garvin more until both men collide again. Jimmy Hart steals Garvin's "Hammer Jammer", so Valentine quickly applies the Figure-Four, and Garvin is in pain. Garvin manages to turn it over, but Valentine grabs the ropes for added preasure, despite being illegal. Valentine beats on the left leg of Garvin, but a Figure-Four attempt is countered with a cradle. Valentine decides to head up top, but Garvin manages to limp over in time to slam Valentine off. Garvin takes off the Hart-Breaker now, but Valentine rolls him up before he can do anything. Irish whip, and Garvin comes back with a big right to get Valentine trapped in the ropes. Garvin assaults Jimmy Hart for fun then bashes Valentine with the Hart-Breaker. Garvin applies the "Reverse Figure-Four" (a.k.a Sharpshooter), and Valentine submits at 16:52. That's the end of Garvin being useful in the WWF, and also the start of the end of Valentine's. **1/2 Not too exciting of a match, but it had a old school NWA feel to it, with two wrestlers without any goofy cartoon gimmicks beating the crap out of each other while not using a wide range of moves to do it.
- Mean Gene Okerlund interviews Mr. Perfect, who runs down Beefcake and brags about the attack from earlier in the show, before telling us that he's drawn "the Perfect Number." Dammit, now we know the first and last entrant of the Royal Rumble Match!
[The Brother Love Show with Sister Queen Sherri and Sister Sapphire is next to eat up 20 minutes, but I'm not wasting my time. We all know what happens, we all know who fights at the end, we all know what non-wrestler gets beat up, and we all know who dances around like idiots to the disgust of Jesse Ventura]
- "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan vs. Big Boss Man (w/ Slick):
I don't think this match had any build up, but I won't go on record and say that with confidence. Since both men were upper-midcarders, the booking team probably thought they needed some kind of star power match on the undercard. It's pretty weird seeing the Boss Man coming out to Jive Soul Bro. It just doesn't fit him, I don't think. They lockup, and quickly start exchanging blows. Boss Man wins that for now, but Duggan floors him with several clotheslines, sending the BBM out of the ring. BBM pulls Duggan out of the ring, but Duggan is one-step ahead and beats on BBM with rights. Duggan eats ring-post soonafter though, and then Boss Man misses a charge into the steps. Back into the ring, and Duggan pounds on the left arm of Boss Man. Irish whip across the ring is reversed until Boss Man splashes Duggan in the corner. Boss Man feeds his foot to Duggan and executes an enziguri. BBM pounds away on the back of the head of Duggan. BBM chokes Duggan across the middle rope and nails a splash across the back. Duggan is introduced to the turnbuckles, but he's no selling! Duggan fights back with big rights and lefts, but BBM turns the tide again with a sledge to the back of the head. BBM chokes Duggan more, and here's Slick to get his shots in behind the referee's back. Slick to Duggan: Let that be a lesson to ya', crooked eyes! Snapmare and chinlock applied by the Boss Man. Duggan fights out with elbows to the midsection, but the comeback is short lived as he runs into a knee from the Boss Man. BBM with a rake of the eyes, and a clubbing blow sends Duggan on his ass again. Boss Man with a knee to the chest of Duggan, but that only gets a two count. To change things up, BBM applies a bearhug. That lasts about three seconds, as Duggan does the Bee Ear Smack. Boss Man has it locked in again, and again it only lasts a short while. BBM hammers away on Duggan in the corner, and now Duggan gets in his shots. It's a battle of the titans! Duggan sends Boss Man out of the ring with a big clothesline. Both men are sweating bullets already. Duggan with milkbone rights to the midsection, followed by mounted punches in the corner. Duggan misses a charge to the corner and Boss Man nails him with a clothesline. Boss Man heads up top and misses a splash. Duggan floors Boss Man with a shoulder tackle, but hurts himself in the process. The BossMan is fed up now and blasts Duggan with his nightstick, drawind the Disqualifcation in favor of Jim Duggan at 10:23. Duggan grabs his 2x4 to chase off Boss Man and beats up Slick with it because he's a model person. *3/4 Hardly a great match, but it was rather quick paced despite the lack of wrestling from both men, and the brawling wasn't too bad, since it wasn't lazy brawling.
- Royal Rumble Participant Promos! Here's the run down of everyone who talks... Earthquake & Dino Bravo, Demolition, Bad News Brown, Dusty Rhodes, The Rockers, Hercules, Rick Martel, Tito Santana, Jimmy Snuka, Akeem, and the Ultimate Warrior. FAN PREDICTIONS! Warrior! Hogan! Hogan! Warrior! Mr. Perfect! Mr. Perfect! Roberts! (crack whore!), AX!!! Bret Hart!?! Roddy Piper! Jimmy Snuka?! Randy Savage! Rhodes!... AX?!?!?
MORE TALKING! Randy Savage, The Powers of Pain, Jake Roberts, The Hart Foundation, The Honkytonk Man, and Hulk Hogan.
- 30-Man Royal Rumble Match:
We got 2:00 intervals this year as usual (until goofy booking screwed with the clocks a few years later). Also, managers are allowed at ringside for the match. #1 is, of course, the Million Dollar Man Ted Dibiase, and #2 is Koko B. Ware (with his goofy new bleached hair and parrot head paint). Dibiase attacks Ware before the bell and stomps a mudhole in Koko's ass. Irish whip and Dibiase with a back elbow. Dibiase pounds away on Ware and chops in the corner. Irish whip across the ring. Koko no-sells being rammed into the buckle and nails Dibiase with a drokick. Ware with a series of jabs and measured rights. Ware goes for a clothesline, but Dibiase back drops him out at 1:39 (Koko B. Ware - #1 Eliminated). #3 is Marty Jannetty, and for some reason they decide to play his entrance music, which hadn't been done before for anyone other than #1 and #2. Dibiase quickly beats on him, but Jannetty comes back with a series of dropkicks. Irish whip to the corner, but Jannetty charges right into a boot. Irish whip and Dibiase nails a clothesline, giving Jannetty to work in his signature turning inside-out bump. Dibiase heads up to the second buckle and comes off into a fist by Jannetty. Irish whip and Jannetty with a diving back elbow. Jannetty tries a cross body, but he clears the top rope and is gone at 3:47 (Marty Jannetty - #2 Eliminated). #4 is Jake Roberts, and they've been feuding, so it's gonna be INTENSE! He also gets entrance music for the match. Dibiase pearl harbors him as well and heads outside of the ring. Dibiase slams Roberts on the floor and applies the Million $ Dream, but Roberts ecapes by ramming him into the post. They head back into the ring. Roberts catches Dibiase coming out of the corner with a back drop and nails the short-arm clothesline. Dibiase escapes the DDT with a back drop of his own, but misses an elbow drop. Roberts with another try, and another escape. Dibiase with a series of shoulders to the midsection in the corner until he runs into a Jake knee lift.
#5 is Randy Savage (minus music) and he goes after Roberts. Irish whip is reversed, and Roberts puts him down with a clothesline. Roberts tries a running high knee on Dibiase, but misses. Savage chokes away and comes off the second turnbuckle with a knee across the throat. Dibiase pounds away on Roberts while Savage holds him in place. Dibiase comes off the second turnbuckle with a bionic elbow, and now Savage comes off the top with a double axehandle. Savage with more choking while Dibiase takes a breather. They trap Roberts in the ropes and beat on him more. #6 is Roddy Piper, and damn this is an awesome four-some in the ring right now. Piper goes after both men with a fluery of rights. Dibiase rakes the eyes to stop, but Piper comes back with a double clothesline. He frees Roberts from the ropes and goes to work on Savage while Roberts pounds on Dibiase. The crowd is REALLY into this exchange. Piper tries tossing Savage while Roberts nails Dibiase with an inverted atomic drop. Roberts goes over to help Piper try and dump Savage. Dibiase makes the save to go after Roberts again. Piper teases a few eliminations, as does Savage. Dibiase with a knee to the back of the neck of Roberts. #7 is The Warlord (w/ Mr. Fuji), but the 4:1 awesome to suck ratio is fine with me. Warlord pounds Roberts down before going after Piper. Savage and Dibiase attempt dumping Roberts while Piper brawels with the Warlord. Piper tries dumping the Warlord in the corner. Savage with a double axehandle from the second rope on Roberts, and more choking in the corner. Piper goes back to work on Savage and rams him and Dibiase together.
#8 is Bret Hart, and he quickly goes after Dibiase. Savage holds him in place, but gets a shot as Hart ducks. Hart saves Piper from elimination at the hands of the Warlord. Hart boots the Warlord on a charge attempt then teams up with Piper to nail him with a double clothesline. In the background of the shot, Dibiase and Roberts trade off choking each other. Hart tries dumping Savage and now Roberts and Piper are going at it. Piper works in an eye poke to Dibiase and rams him to the buckle. Roberts scoops up Dibiase for an elimination attempt, but he holds on. #9 is Bad News Brown, but he's not visible until he's halfway to the ring... damn that sounded racist. Dibiase comes off the second rope with a sledge to Roberts, whilw Brown goes after the Hitman. Roberts short-arm clotheslines Dibiase, but Savage nails him with a clothesline during a DDT attempt, and Roberts is out at 14:45 (Jake Roberts - #3 Eliminated). In the meantime, Hart hammers on Brown with european uppercuts until Savage comes to the heel rescue. Piper whips Dibiase to the ropes and nails him with a big right, but another elimination attempt is failed thanks to Savage. Brown and Dibiase go at it for a heel vs. heel exchange. The clock is a little fast now... #10 is Dusty Rhodes (w/ Sapphire) and guess who he goes for. Rhodes with bionic elbows to Savage, followed by a back elbow. Savage rakes the eyes, but a charge leads to Rhodes back dropping him out at 16:27, with a good bump too (Randy Savage - #4 Eliminated). Brown chokes Rhodes in the corner. Piper/Warlord and Bret/Dibiase pair up to do stuff in the corner. Dibiase fights off Hart with an eye rake, and Brown comes over to add a headbutt. Dibiase pounds away on Rhodes in the corner while the camera focus' on Piper and Warlord.
#11 is Andre The Giant (w/ Bobby Heenan), and hopefully we get an epic Bret Hart/Andre showdown. Warlord tries beating up Andre, but it's no sold, and Andre hip tosses the Warlord out at 18:31 to a face pop (The Warlord - #5 Eliminated). Mr. Fuji climbs on the apron to yell at Andre, so Heenan yanks him off and threatens him with violence. GO HEENAN! Inside the ring and Andre gives Piper and Rhodes a double noggin' knocker. Andre butt splashes Rhodes in the corner, then works over Rhodes and Piper at the same time. They fight back with double team shots, but Andre gives them another noggin' knocker. In the opposite corner, Dibiase and Brown have been double teaming Hart. #12 is The Red Rooster, and he quickly gets jumped by Rhodes. Brown tries dumping PIper, but Piper blocks and back drops Brown out at 20:18 (Bad News Brown - #6 Eliminated). Brown is pissed off, so he climbs back on the apron and yanks Piper over the top by his hair, eliminating him in the process at 20:24 (Roddy Piper - #7 Eliminated). They brawl back to the Locker Room, despite warnings from future boss Shane McMahon (acting as a referee). Back in the ring, and Virgil helps Dibiase avoid elimination. Andre works over the Hitman before setting his attentions on the Rooster. #13 is Demolition Ax as Andre dumps the Rooster at 21:58 (The Red Rooster - #8 Eliminated). Ax pounds away on Andre in the corner WITH INTENSITY, then does the double axehandle pounding. Rhodes nails his signature elbow drop on Dibiase. Ax and Andre trade off choking each other while Bret and Rhodes double team Dibiase. Rhodes saves Ax from elimination, and they get Andre stuck in the ropes for double bionic elbows. Andre takes a shit kicking by the make-shift tag team, but he's too big to dump out.
#14 is Haku, so we got the Colossal Connection vs. 1/2 of Demolition. He quickly goes to pound away on Ax. Irish whip, and Haku with a clothesline. Dibiase with an atomic drop on Bret Hart, and now Haku is stomping away on Rhodes. Andre with a series of butt-drops on Ax then some standing on his chest. Rhodes works over Haku, but falls on his ass during a celebration. Andre chokes Ax in the corner, as does Bret to Dibiase. Haku with a reverse crescent kick to Ax. Bret tries making a save, but stupidly does a headbutt, hurting himself in the process. #15 is Demolition Smash, so we get the big tag team feud showdown. Smash goes right after Andre, and Demolition do some double pounding. Haku tries a save, but Ax teaches him a lesson. Demolition with a double back elbow to Haku, followed by more punishment dished out to Andre. Andre comes back by ramming Ax and Smash into each other, then goes after Rhodes again. Hart is left with nothing to do, so he goes back to Andre. Demolition double team Dibiase in the corner until Haku makes the save. Hart pounds away on Andre and does his best to choke him. #16 is the African Dream Akeem (w/ Slick), and I hope we get Akeem vs. Andre. Akeem, Andre, and Rhodes all form into one corner for a MASSIVE amount of suck. Akeem pounds on Andre for a few seconds, then Demolition nail him with a double clothesline. Another double clothesline puts down Haku, and a double shoulder tackle sends Andre over the top and down to the floor at 28:33 (Andre The Giant - #9 Eliminated). Bret Hart was also eliminated somewhere in all the chaos, but it was off camera, making him the 10th eliminated. Demolition now go to Haku for some elimination attempts, but Andre saves from ringside before going back to the locker room. Akeem hammers on Rhodes, in what should be considered a "Dream Match." Dibiase whips Smash to the ropes and puts him down with a clothesline. Dibiase with an inverted atomic drop, and here comes Ax to save his partner.
#17 is Jimmy Snuka and he goes after Akeem. They exchange blows until Snuka nails a diving headbutt, knocking Akeem over the top rope and out at 30:32 (Akeem - #11 Eliminated). Smash with a fist to the midsection of Dibiase and Rhodes with an elbow across the back of the head. Demolition double team Snuka until Haku makes the save, no doubt because they are somehow related. Ax chokes Snuka in the corner as Dibiase nails Rhodes with a double axehandle from the second rope. #18 is Dino Bravo (w/ Jimmy Hart) and he just stands around before working on Ax. HAKU makes the save to battle with Bravo, while Ax goes to help Smash from being elimninated. Snuka saves Haku from elimination at the hands of Bravo, then noggin' knockers them. Demolition with a double back elbow to Dibiase, then Smash kicks at Heenan for no reason. Dibiase is ALMOST out at the hands of Demolition, but he hangs on, but barely. Dibiase rams Smash into the buckle, but Ax saves again. Rhodes and Bravo appear to be having a conversation on camera. #19 is the Canadian Earthquake, and it's time for some spring cleaning. Quake pounds on Rhodes and dumps him out at 34:19 (Dusty Rhodes - #12 Eliminated). Ax tries his luck with Quake now, but Quake is to fresh to be manhandled by one half of Demolition, and throws him out at 34:47 (Demolition Ax - #13 Eliminated). Quake works over Haku in the corner now with knees to the midsection. Bravo tries dumping Smash while Snuka tries the same on Dibiase. Smash puts Bravo down with a clothesline and nails some sledges to the midsection.
#20 is Jim Neidhart to a pretty good pop. He quickly goes after Earthquake. Everyone gangs up on Earthquake in the corner, and everyone minus Bravo manages to get him up and out at 36:32 (Canadian Earthquake - #14 Eliminated). The six remaining men pair up, doing nothing much of note, and it's time for a down period of the match. Smash and Neidhart nail a Demolition Foundation double atomic drop onDibiase. Smash and Haku continue to go at it on behalf of their teams. #21 is The ULTIMATE Warrior! He nails Bravo, no-selling smash in the process. Warrior fireman carry slams Bravo out at 38:12 (Dino Bravo - #15 Eliminated). Warrior pounds away on Snuka now until Haku saves. Smash comes over for a Three-on-One, but Warrior escapes and wipes the ring with Smash. Smash comes back with a knee to the midsection and rights in the corner. Neidhart and Warrior double team Dibiase with chops, then Warrior and Neidhart sucker-punch each other. #22 is Rick Martel, and he takes his time getting to the ring. Smash catches him coming in with sledges. They exchange blows until Martel rams him into the corner and tries for an elimination. Warrior and Martel double team to try and dump Smash. Haku backdrops Smash onto the apron and superkicks him off at 40:51 (Demolition Smash - #16 Eliminated). Neidhart clotheslines Martel over the top rope, but he hangs on for dear life to the bottom rope. Warrior and Dibiase pair up in the cornr, with Warrior no-selling of course.
#23 is Tito Santana and I bet he goes for Martel... yup, he went for Martel, and beats on him with rights. Martel is introduced to the turnbuckle ten times and Santana tries eliminating him. Neidhart chokes Dibiase down in the corner. Warrior nails Haku with a clothesline. Santana catches Martel coming off the top with a fist to the midsection. Dibiase noggin' knockers Neidhart and Snuka. Martel rams Santana into the buckle and tries eliminating him. In the other corner, Virgil AGAIN keeps helping Dibiase in the ring but pushing him back in as he's being dumped over. Too much punching going around until Snuka no-sells a Dibiase piledriver. #24 is The Honkytonk Man (w/ Jimmy Hart) and he's going to turn the tide, I bet. Warrior beats on him the second he enters the ring. Lots of hugging going on until Martel dumps Neidhart out of the ring at 34:36. (Jim Neidhart - #17 Eliminated). Warrior reverses a Dibiase whip into the ropes and clotheslines Dibiase out at 44:52, setting the (then) record for longest amount of time spent in a Rumble Match (Ted Dibiase - #18 Eliminated). Warrior goes back to working over the Honkytonk Man while Santana tries dumping Martel. Here comes the countdown... #25 is Hulk Hogan, and the crowd goes nuts. Snuka tries his luck, but Hogan clotheslines him out at 46:07 (Jimmy Snuka - #19 Eliminated). Hogan pounds away on Haku in the corner and comes charging in with a clothesline. Irish whip, and Hogan big boots Haku out at 46:29 (Haku - #20 Eliminated). Santana tries dumping Martel, but Warrior comes to Martels side to eliminate Santana at 47:00 (Tito Santana - #21 Eliminated). Hogan pounds on Honkytonk Man while Warrior works over Martel.
#26 is Shawn Michaels, and it's time for MORE house cleaning! Honky is dumped at 48:03 by Hogan (#22), Michaels is dumped at 48:11 by Warrior (#23, lasting 13 seconds), and Martel is gone at 48:15 (#24), leaving Hogan and Warrior by themselves! Hogan and Warrior circle the ring until we get some shoving from both men. Hogan tries a shoulder block, but Warrior doesn't budge. Warrior with a shoulder block, and the same result. They do a crisscross sequence, and a double clothesline puts both men down! #27 is The Barbarian (w/ Mr. Fuji) to clean up the mess of both men being done and out. He drops elbows on both men. Irish whip and big boot to Hogan by the Barbarian. Warrior headbutts the Barbarian in the midsection, and here comes Rick Rude at #28 about a minute pre-maturely. We even got a 10 second clock, despite it only being about 50 seconds since the Barbarian entered. Rude pounds away on the Warrior while the Barbarian does the same to Hogan. Warrior makes the save for Hogan, so the two heels double team him. Hogan returns the favor by nailing Rude and Barbarian with clotheslines from behind, but the impact causes them to knock Warrior out of the ring at 52:21 (Ultimate Warrior - #25 Eliminated). Warrior comes back in to nail Rude and the Barbarian with clotheslines, then runs back to the locker room. Ventura on Warrior: He's an idiot! #29 is Hercules, and we only got one person left. Hercules goes for Rude with a series of jabs. Hercules whips Barbarian and Rude into big boots from Hogan. Hogan hammers away on the Barbarian in the corner and does some choking. Hogan with a scoop slam followed by a series of elbow drops. Time for the final countdown... 10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1.... BZZZ!
Final Field: #25 Hulk Hogan, #27 The Barbarian, #28 Rick Rude, #29 Hercules, #30 Mr. Perfect:
I wonder who has the worst odds of winning this, the Barbarian or Hercules. Perfect has changed his tights since earlier in the show, now sporting his orange and black singlet. He goes rght for Hogan, and pounds him down to the canvas. Barbarian accidentally boots Rude, and Hercules back drops the Barbarian out at 55:36 (The Barbarian - #26 Eliminated). I guess that answers my question. Rude beats on Hercules with forearms then clotheslines him out at 56:07, no selling a Hogan attack in the process (Hercules - #27 Eliminated). Perfect and Rude (future Heenan Family members) double team Hogan. Heel miscommunication leads to Rude knocking Perfect through the ropes. Irish whip, and Perfect pulls down the ropes on Rude, causing him to be eliminated at 57:03 (Rick Rude - #28 Eliminated). Hogan rams Perfect into the ring post and slingshots him back into the ring. Irish whip, and Perfect boots Hogan in the face. Perfect with a charging clothesline, followed by a series of roundhouse rights. Perfect pulls off the Perfect-Plex for no reason, but Hogan no-sells (OK, that was the reason). Hogan no-sells some rights and slingshots Perfect into the ring post. Hogan with a series of clotheslines, and he tosses Perfect over the turnbuckle to win the Rumble match at 58:45! Weird note: They used that clip during the commercial for the Royal Rumble game on SNES and Sega Genesis. Hogan wipes his face on a fans sign at ringside, which I guess is pretty cool for the guy in question. Hogan does his pose-down, and the crowd is pretty into it, despite this being around the time that Hogan's popularity was starting to go down. ****1/4 One of the best Rumble matches other than the 1992, 2000, and 2004 versions. The dead-spots were few and far between, the star power was there throughout, and we got some awesome confrontations, like Jake/Dibiase, Demos/Connection, and, of course, Hogan/Warrior. The only problem was that someone else probably could've used the win here, but with Hogan/Warrior already set in stone (footage for SNME was taped several weeks in advance), I guess it made sense.
Final Thoughts: This definitely was a one match show, and thankfully that one match is the one that ate up nearly half of the PPV. While the undercard had a couple of decent matches, neither of them were particularly great, and the bad matches were REALLY bad. However, this featuring one of the best rumble matches ever should be enough to give this a thumbs up, but I'd skip the undercard, or at least the first couple of matches. Mild Recommendation, thanks to a poor undercard.