No Mercy
October 3rd 2004
This is another review that I have wanted to do for quite some time. Since I’m still on school break, why not?
-The opening package recaps Big Show returning from injury and being provoked by Kurt Angle. It moves over to hyping the final match in the “Best of Five” series between John Cena and Booker T. Finally, we have a “last ride” match between JBL and Undertaker for the WWE Championship in the main event.
-Our hosts for the evening are Michael Cole and Tazz.
Eddie Guerrero vs Luther Reigns (with Mark Jindrak)
I think it is funny that Luther Reigns was only on the Smackdown roster for less than a year, yet in that time he had pay-per-view matches against Eddie, Big Show, and Undertaker. I guess WWE really wanted to get him over.
There is a huge “Eddie” chant to start things off. They tie up and Luther pushes Eddie into the corner. They tie up again, with Luther once again cornering the former WWE Champion. Luther hits a powerful clothesline, but Eddie recovers and pokes Luther in the eyes. Eddie rams Luther’s head into a ring post and puts him into a rear headlock. Eddie transitions into a basic headlock, and Luther breaks out and tackles Guerrero. Luther unleashes some methodical stomps, but Eddie back-sweeps Luther to the mat. Eddie goes back to the side-headlock. Eddie wrenches Luther’s wrist, but Luther reverses an Irish Whip and hits a press slam on Eddie. Luther goes for the cover, but it’s no good. Luther takes control of Eddie, cornering him with some kicks and a hard Irish whip into the opposite turnbuckle. Luther puts Eddie into a bear hug, and I groan. Eddie rakes the eyes of Luther Reigns and hits some head-butts to escape. Luther stops Eddie’s momentum with a big boot and goes for a cover. Luther jabs Eddie and goes for another cover. This doesn’t work, so Luther puts Eddie in a rear choke. Eddie breaks it, so Luther turns it into a surfboard stretch. Eddie gets to his feet and escapes by kicking Luther in the face. Eddie goes back to a side headlock, but Luther drops Eddie on his back. Luther goes for another cover, but it doesn’t work. Luther hits a backbreaker on Eddie, and turns it into a stretch. Eddie knees Luther in the head to escape. Eddie charges at Luther, who dodges and Eddie falls over the top rope. Mark Jindrak stomps at the fallen Guerrero while the referee isn’t looking. Eddie returns to the ring and tries to hit a back suplex, but Luther uses his strength to overpower Eddie and puts him down with a high elbow shot. Luther goes for yet another cover, which doesn’t work, so Luther repeats the backbreaker into a stretch. Eddie fights out of it again, but gets caught in a powerslam by Luther Reigns. Luther goes for another cover, but Eddie kicks out again. Luther goes for a neckbreaker, but Eddie fights out and hits a modified inverted DDT. Both men get back to their feet, and Eddie fires away at the gut of Luther with some lightning quick punches. Eddie corners Luther and hits some back elbow shots. Eddie fires away with a series of clotheslines. Eddie makes Luther suffer through the Three Amigos suplex spot… until Luther reverses the third attempt. Luther drops Eddie hard on his stomach. Eddie escapes to the ringside area and steels a baton from a security guard who had his back turned. Eddie hides the weapon in his boot and grabs a steel chair. Luther grabs the chair and Eddie dropkicks the chair into the face of Mark Jindrak, who was trying to interfere on the apron. Eddie hits Luther heads to the top rope for the frog splash. Luther moves out of the way, and both men are down. Eddie pulls out the baton and hits Luther in the head with it, and both men are down again. The referee missed it while trying to get rid of the steel chair. Eddie returns to the top rope for another frog splash and hits it for the win at 13:23! This was a solid match, with some classic cheating from Eddie Guerrero. **1/4. The parts of the match where Luther was in control brought the match rating down a bit.
Winner: Eddie Guerrero
-We see a recap of a cat fight between Dawn Marie and Jackie Gayda. Josh Matthews is backstage with Dawn Marie, asking her about the trouble she is brewing between Charlie Haas and Jackie. Dawn says she cannot help it if Haas is attracted to her and challenges Jackie to get back into her face. She waltzes into Jackie’s dressing room, who was in the midst of changing. Dawn accuses Jackie of forcing Haas to marry her.
Cruiserweight Championship: Spike Dudley © (with the Dudley Boyz) vs Nunzio (with Johnny Stamboli)
This was during Spike’s awesome heel run as “the boss.” Nunzio earned this title shot by upsetting Spike in a non-title match on Smackdown. They lock up and roll all over the ring before it gets broken up. Nunzio backs Spike into the corner, finally breaking up the tie up. Nunzio blocks a shot from Spike, and hits a forearm of his own. Nunzio hits a hip toss on Spike, but a second attempt is countered. Nunzio tosses Spike over the ropes, where Bubba Ray and D-Von check on their little brother. Spike reluctantly gets back into the ring and kicks Nunzio in the gut. Spike counters a back suplex, and goes for a slam but Nunzio counters and goes for a cover. Spike gets out, but has his arm wrenched by Nunzio. Spike puts a hammerlock on Nunzio, who escapes by pushing Spike through the ropes. Nunzio flings himself over the top rope and lands on Spike Dudley at ringside. Nunzio tosses Spike back into the ring for a cover attempt, but it only gets a two count. Nunzio takes Spike down by the ankle and tries another cover. Nunzio goes to the top rope, but D-Von pushed him off while Bubba Ray had the ref distracted. Spike goes for a cover, but it only gets a two. Spike aggressively goes after Nunzio, and puts him into a full nelson. Nunzio elbows his way out of the hold, kicks Spike in the face, but Spike gets a legsweep on Nunzio and covers him. Nunzio kicks out, and heads to the middle rope. Spike dropkicks the flying Nunzio and gets another two count in a cover. Spike hangs Nunzio on the ropes, allowing Bubba Ray and D-Von to get some cheap shots in. Spike puts Nunzio back into the full nelson, and it appears that Nunzio is fading. Nunzio gets back to his feet and backs Spike into the turnbuckle. Nunzio hits some shoulder thrusts, and catches Spike who had run up to the top rope with a big slam. Spike hits the mat hard, and Nunzio follows up with a cover and then a back suplex. Nunzio keeps up the offense, hitting a Sicilian leg drop, but Spike kicks out of yet another cover attempt. Spike rolls out of the ring, but Nunzio goes after him and back drops him on the mat. They return to the ring and Spike misses a Dudley Dog attempt, Nunzio capitalizes, but Bubba Ray hops up on the apron and hits a neckbreaker on Nunzio. Stamboli attacks the Dudley Boyz, but Bubba Ray is able to hit another cheap shot on Nunzio. This is too much, and Spike covers Nunzio at 8:52 to save the Cruiserweight title. This was a very well worked match. **3/4.
Winner and STILL Cruiserweight Champion: Spike Dudley
-We recap Undertaker winning the WWE Championship from Hulk Hogan at Survivor Series in 1991.
Paul London vs Billy Kidman
This match actually has a hype video! And it is a good one! Kidman turned on London after losing the WWE Tag Team Championship to Kenzo Suzuki and Rene Dupree. London charges the ring, but Kidman rolls out. Kidman is reluctant to get into the ring, but London hits a baseball slide and attacks Kidman to jump start the match. London gets Kidman in the match and hits some punches and a back body drop. London nails Kidman in the lower back with a stiff kick, and Kidman reverses an Irish whip. London hits the mushroom stomp on Kidman and an enziguri. London goes for a cover, but it does not work. London aggressively swings away at Kidman, until he is forced to break it up. London hits a big drop kick and hits a drop-sault, sending Kidman to ringside. London moonsaults off the top turnbuckle to Kidman who is standing helplessly at ringside. London rolls Kidman back into the ring and flings himself over the rope to hit his opponent. Kidman rakes London’s eyes and hits a stiff kick. Kidman takes London by the hair and sends him flying into the ring post. London is stuck there, and suffers a baseball slide from Kidman. London is in big trouble. Kidman capitalizes on a ground abdominal stretch, working on the bruised chest area of Paul London. London fights out by kneeing Kidman in the face. London battles back at Kidman with some right hands to the gut. Kidman stops it with another stiff kick and goes for another cover. London won’t be beaten that easily though. Kidman puts London in a surfboard stretch, torturing his former best friend. London gets out of the hold and aggressively fires away with punches. Kidman catches London on his shoulders and hits a sick gut buster. Kidman goes for another failed cover. Kidman whips London off the ropes and sends him flying upwards, London lands right on his ribs in the middle of the ring. Kidman continues his assault on London’s ribs by putting the abdominal stretch back on. Kidman breaks the hold, takes a stiff slap from London, and keeps up the assault with some stomps. London reverses an Irish whip and punches Kidman in the face. London proceeds to barely dodge Kidman’s aggressive offense. London connects with a running elbow and a spinning kick. Kidman goes for a tornado DDT but it doesn’t connect and London hits an enziguri. London goes for a power bomb, but Kidman counters the move into a BK bomb and goes for the cover. Kidman gets his head slammed into the ring post several times, but counters a suplex. London rolls up Kidman but it gets a long two count. London is hit with a dropkick, and Kidman is back in control. Kidman heads to the top rope for his dreaded shooting star press… but changes his mind. Kidman teases heading back to the locker-room. Kidman finally goes back to the ring, and London counters a back suplex and kicks him in the face. London heads to the top rope himself and goes for the shooting star press! Kidman gets his knees up, countering the hold. London is about dead by this point. Kidman positions London and hits the shooting star press. Kidman covers London for the win, ending this dramatic contest at 10:36! This match told a good story, Kidman destroyed London’s ribs throughout the match, and London nearly came back. This was a really good one, ***1/2.
Winner: Billy Kidman
-After the match, Kidman gets on the microphone and blames the fans for the vicious attacks he made on London. EMTs come into the ring and put London on a stretcher, but Kidman returns to the top rope and hits another shooting star press! Kidman angrily storms away from the ring. It is a damn shame that this angle was never touched upon again.
-We now see a recap of Undertaker winning the WWE Championship from Psycho Sid at WrestleMania 13.
-Josh Matthews is backstage with the WWE Champion, John Bradshaw Layfield. JBL cuts off Matthews and asks why this entire pay-per-view is biased towards the Undertaker. JBL compares the pay-per-view with the entire lying liberal media. JBL promises that Undertaker will only take the WWE Championship over JBL’s dead body.
WWE Tag Team Championship: Kenzo Suzuki and Rene Dupree © (with Hiroko) vs Rey Mysterio and Rob Van Dam
Although Suzuki and Dupree are not considered great wrestlers, they were a surprisingly good fit together as a tag team. Before the match, Dupree gets on the microphone and says some gibberish in French. Hiroko takes the mic and honors the match to New Jersey’s Bruce Springsteen. She hands the mic to Kenzo Suzuki, who proceeds to sing a very bad version of “Born in the USA” complete with air guitar. “Somewhere, Bruce Springsteen is having a heart attack” comments Tazz. Finally, RVD’s music hits to end the pain.
RVD and Rene Dupree start the match off. Dupree poses for a few seconds, which RVD responds with some posing of his own. They finally tie up, which goes from an arm-drag to a head scissors take-down. Dupree tries to piledrive RVD, but it is reversed, and they go through an impressive series of takedowns and reversals until they regain their bearings and restart the match. Considering that was Rene Dupree in there, that was impressive. Rey Mysterio is tagged in, and he is soon cornered by Dupree. Tag is made to Suzuki, and a double team takes place. Kenzo hits some open hand shots on Rey, but Rey fights back and takes Kenzo down with a kick to Kenzo’s ankles. Rey hits a baseball slide on Suzuki, and Rene Dupree comes in trying to break up the offense. Kenzo and Dupree are both flung to the floor and a tag is made to RVD. Both Rey and RVD fly over the top rope and each land on Rene Dupree and Kenzo Suzuki. Back in the ring, Kenzo and RVD are the legal men, and RVD is in firm control. RVD goes to the top rope, but Dupree sneaks up behind him and pushes him to the floor. Dupree tosses RVD back into the ring, and Kenzo Suzuki continues the offense. Kenzo corners RVD with some kicks and chops. Kenzo hits a power slam and drives his knee into RVD’s throat. Kenzo hits a snapmare and tags in Dupree. Dupree continues the assault and wrenches the neck and head of Rob Van Dam. RVD fights out, but Dupree catches RVD by the hair and pushes him to the mat. Dupree takes a second to knock Rey off the apron, and tags in Kenzo. Kenzo hits a big knee drop and goes for the cover on RVD. Rey Mysterio breaks up the pinfall attempt. Kenzo puts RVD into an armbar, slowing down what has been a surprisingly fast paced match. RVD fights out and desperately needs a tag. Rey is tagged in, and Rey springboards off the ropes onto Kenzo. Rey slides between the legs of Kenzo and hits a tornado DDT. Rey goes for the cover, but Dupree breaks it up. Rey sends Dupree flying out of the ring and corners Kenzo for some punches. Rey springboards off the ropes for a senton on Kenzo. Kenzo hits a stiff chop on Rey and Irish whips him. Kenzo catches Rey on his shoulders, but Rey fights out and positions the 619. Dupree interrupts the 619 attempt, and RVD comes in to help Rey. RVD hits the rolling thunder on Dupree and kicks Kenzo back into 619 positioning. Rey hits the 619, but Dupree stops Rey from spring boarding off the ropes again. RVD goes after Dupree, but the damage has been done. Kenzo rolls up Rey, using the ropes for leverage, and pins Rey Mysterio at 9:13. Considering the participants, this match was unbelievably good. ***.
Winners and STILL WWE Tag Team Champions: Rene Dupree and Kenzo Suzuki
Kurt Angle vs Big Show
Big Show had just returned from having taken time off for surgery, and this was WWE’s latest attempt to get Show over as a monster babyface. Angle immediately provoked Big Show, even going as far to shoot him with a tranquilizer. Jindrak and Reigns held Show up while Angle shaved Big Show’s head, which Michael Cole sells as the most awful thing any wrestler has ever done to another wrestler. Ah, that funny Michael Cole… This was also during a time period where Angle was actually wrestling as if he had been suffering neck injuries.
Angle bails from the ring the moment Big Show arrives. Angle reluctantly returns to the ring, but he is scared for some reason. I mean, did Angle not beat Show for the WWE title in 2002? Ah well. They tie up and Show corners Angle. The ref breaks it up and Show talks some crap. They tie up again and Show pushes Angle to the mat, then leaving the ring to regain his composure. Angle returns to the ring and circles Show as if he was an insect. Angle runs into the shoulder of the Big Show, and goes down hard. Angle goes to the back of the Big Show, maybe looking for a German suplex, but Show backs him into a corner. Show tosses Angle to the mat and hits a suplex. Show slowly steps on Angle and whips him into a turnbuckle. Show hits a press slam on Angle, who once again flees the ring. So far, this match is terribly slow and boring. Angle decides he has had enough and begins to exit… the referee counts out Angle, giving the win to the Big Show.
This brings out Theodore Long who tells Angle that if he leaves, he will never wrestle on Smackdown again. Long does not care if the match takes all night long, there will be a decisive winner. Long restarts the match and Angle has until the count of ten to get back into the ring. If he does not make it, he is finished on Smackdown. Angle considers hightailing it anyway, but he eventually finds enough courage to get back into the ring… tripping on the mat on his way. Angle is caught with a head-butt from Big Show, then gets cornered with a big chop. Show knocks the life out of Kurt Angle, and proceeds to choke Angle with his huge boots. Show tosses Angle across the mat again, and whips him hard into a turnbuckle. Angle falls out of the ring and grabs a steel chair. Show punches the steel chair into Angle’s face. Show chucks Angle back into the ring and takes his time dropping a leg. Show methodically (translated: lazily) corners Angle again with a series of chops. Show whips Angle again, but gets a shoulder to the face. Angle climbs the turnbuckles to dive on Show, but it caught in mid-air and slammed to the mat. Show goes for a Chokeslam, but Angle counters it into the ankle lock. Show struggles to get to the ropes, but Angle wraps himself around Show’s leg. After about a minute, Show is able to roll over and kick Angle, who falls into the referee. I guess this means Mark Jindrak and Luther Reigns will be making an appearance. Angle goes back to the steel chair and nails Big Show in the knee. Angle hits Show’s knee again and drops an elbow on it. Angle continues to focus on the hurt knee, the referee still hasn’t woken up. The ref gets up in time to see Angle using the apron to twist Big Show’s ankle in a rather neat spot. Angle places Show in the ring and puts Show in what Tazz describes as the beginning of a spinning toe hold. Angle keeps Show’s knee twisted, and drops some elbows. I wonder how Kurt’s neck is doing. Show finally kicks Angle away, but has trouble standing. Show knocks Angle down with a clothesline and a scoop slam, finishing with a boot to the face. Show has apparently forgotten his knee has been destroyed for the past five minutes. Show finally takes a moment to sell the knee, where Angle attacks with the Angle slam and goes for the cover. Show tosses Angle off of him at the two count. Angle heads to under the ring where he has hidden the tranquilizer gun. Angle goes to shoot Show with it, but Show grabs it and breaks it over his knee (the hurt one too, if I am not mistaken). Angle hits some punches on Show, who proceeds to no sell them. Show then lifts Angle up over his head and drops him on his chest. Show throws Angle into the corner and places Angle on the top turnbuckle. Show chokeslams Angel from the top and covers him for the win at 15:06. That was a cool ending to a boring match, complete with a lazy performance from Big Show. ľ*.
Winner: Big Show
United States Championship: Booker T © vs John Cena
This is the final match in the “Best of Seven” series between Booker T and John Cena. It did not exactly set the world on fire. It is crazy to think that they somehow stretched this series out from August until October. On a side note, if Booker T is disqualified from this match, he will lose the title. Booker and Cena slug away at each other to start the match. Cena hits a side tackle and goes for an early cover. Booker bounces back from it and takes Cena down himself, right into a front headlock. Booker goes for a big kick, but Cena fights back, spilling Booker out of the ring. The action has been fast paced thus far, so no complaints from me. Booker returns to the ring, and the match restarts. They tie up, but Booker kicks Cena in the gut and hammers away on his back. Booker corners Cena with punches and kicks, but Cena hits a boot to the face and a clothesline, and decides its time for another cover. Booker gets out of it, and hits a spine buster on the challenger. Booker goes for a cover, but it’s a kick out. Cena is removed from the ring by Booker and suffers a vicious chop before being thrown into the steel steps. Booker tries it again, but Cena reverses and sends the champion shoulder first into the steps. Cena rolls Booker back into the ring for a cover attempt, but Booker gets out. Booker hangs Cena up on the ropes, arm pit first, and sets Cena up for a super kick. The kick connects and Booker goes for another unsuccessful cover. Booker puts Cena in a sleeper hold, assumably because they are tired. Cena fights out of it, with the same courage he would later use as WWE Champion. Cena gets a lateral press on Booker. Booker reverses the Irish whip, and Cena hits the turnbuckle hard. Booker hits a suplex and goes for another cover. Booker puts Cena back in the rear naked choke, assumably because it worked so well last time. Cena fights out of it again, blocks a suplex from Booker, and hits a suplex of his own. Cena walks into a flapjack from the champion, and Booker T decides it would be smart to cover Cena. Booker would be wrong, since Cena gets an easy shoulder up. Booker punches Cena out of frustration. Booker misses an axe kick and gets hung up on the ropes. Cena blocks some punches and nails Booker in the face. Cena gets his clothesline and flying shoulder block on Booker, but a cover attempt only gets two. Cena gets his bulldog in and reminds Booker that “you can’t see me!” Cena gets the five knuckle shuffle in, but Booker T somehow kicks out. Booker T avoids the F-U and hits the bookend on the challenger. Cena miraculously gets a shoulder up at two in the following cover attempt. Booker goes for the steel chair, but the referee talks him out of it. Booker returns to the ring, misses a scissors kick, and Cena rolls him up for another two count. Booker goes back on the offense, but Cena corners him and sets him up for the F-U. Cena connects with the F-U and pins Booker T at 10:20 to become the undisputed U.S. Champion! The match was completely by the numbers, a great example of the basic WWE style. It was well done though, so I’ll give it a bit of credit. *1/2.
Winner and NEW United States Champion: John Cena
The Dudley Boyz and Dawn Marie vs Charlie Haas, Rico, and Ms. Jackie
Dawn is wearing a shirt that says “Charlie loves Dawn Marie.” No doubt she just wants to toy with Ms. Jackie a bit. I will point out that none of these six performers still work for the WWE and that’s a shame. Charlie Haas and Bubba Ray start the match off, but D-Von jumps Haas before the match can begin. Turns out D-Von is starting the match instead, and he clubs Haas into the corner. Haas hits a couple of hip tosses and a drop kick on D-Von. D-Von kicks out of a cover and gets a back body drop on Haas. Tag is made to Dawn Marie, who checks on Haas. Jackie is tagged in and she is all over Dawn. Jackie pulls off the offensive shirt and chokes Dawn with it. The referee is reluctant to stop the choking. Dawn whips Jackie into the Dudley’s corner, and Bubba Ray grabs Jackie by the hair. Dawn tags in Bubba Ray, who continues the assault on Jackie’s hair. Bubba demands a kiss and closes his eyes. Jackie makes the tag to Rico who gives Bubba Ray a kiss. Bubba Ray opens his eyes in absolute horror to see it wasn’t the young diva, but forty something year old Rico Constantino. Bubba storms away from the ring, as Rico rolls up D-Von. It doesn’t work, so Rico tries a backslide and another roll-up. D-Von fights back but gets caught with a martial arts kick. Rico goes to the top rope but Bubba Ray comes back just in time to grab Rico’s leg. D-Von stomps away at Rico, snap mares him, and hits a flying elbow drop. Rico kicks out of a cover, and Bubba Ray is tagged back in. Bubba is still mad about the kiss, and he angrily stomps away at poor Rico. Bubba tosses Rico over the top rope, where D-Von is waiting to slam Rico’s head into the steel steps. Rico is thrown back into the ring, where Bubba chokes him with his wrist tape. Rico rebounds with a DDT, but he needs a tag. This has been a damn fun match thus far. Haas and Bubba Ray are tagged in, and Haas takes the fight to Bubba. Haas hits a back body drop on Bubba and a drop kick on an interfering D-Von. T-Bone suplex on Bubba from Haas and he tries to make a cover on D-Von. Haas gets a German suplex on D-Von when the cover doesn’t work, and Haas is on his game tonight. Rico makes a blind tag and hits a lateral press off the top rope on D-Von. Meanwhile, Jackie and Dawn Marie are at it again. Bubba hits a slam on Rico and they set him up for “Waazzuuup!” D-Von doesn’t want to do it though, because Rico looks like he wants it. Haas knocks D-Von off the top rope. Rico meanwhile grabs Dawn from behind and tosses her to Jackie, where their cat fight continues. Meanwhile, Haas hits an axe handle off the top on D-Von. This makes him vulnerable for the legal man, Rico, who hits a moonsault on D-Von for the win at 8:49! As far as popcorn matches go, it does not get any better than this. **3/4. It is a shame that Rico was almost immediately fired after this show.
Winners: Charlie Haas, Rico, and Ms. Jackie
-We take a look back at Judgment Day 2002, when Undertaker hit Hulk Hogan with one of the crappiest chokeslams of all time to claim his fourth WWE Championship.
-We take a look back at the history between Undertaker and JBL. We see Summerslam, where Undertaker chokeslammed JBL through his limo. JBL later claimed that Undertaker would not be getting any more title shots, bringing out a hearse to symbolize a funeral for the career of the dead man. Theodore Long comes out and tells JBL that he doesn’t not decide who gets title shots and makes this “Last Ride” match for No Mercy. The winner of this match is whoever can get his opponent in the hearse and can shut the door. We now see footage of JBL rallying Viscera and Gangrel against Undertaker. Undertaker responds by destroying Gangrel, Viscera, and crucifying Orlando Jordan. Now there is only one target left for the Undertaker: JBL.
Last Ride match for the WWE Championship: JBL © vs Undertaker
There are no pin falls, count outs, or disqualifications in this match. The winner must stick their opponent in the hearse and then have the hearse drive out of the arena. JBL starts off aggressively, attacking the dead man with some punches. Undertaker fights back and corners JBL with his own series of punches. Taker head-butts JBL and changes his offense to kicking. Taker drags JBL into the center of the ring and drops some elbows on the champion. Taker wrings the arm of JBL and pulls him down to the mat. Taker drags JBL to the corner and goes for the “old school.” Taker hits the move and continues his methodical offense. Taker grabs JBL by the neck and chokes him on the ropes. JBL fights back with a club to the back of Undertaker, but Taker comes back with a jab and then a big boot. Taker misses an elbow drop, and JBL capitalizes with a thumb to the eye of the dead man. JBL stomps a mud hole into Undertaker, but soon misses a clothesline. Undertaker catches JBL with a Chokeslam in the early going. Undertaker tries to drag JBL to the hearse, but JBL clings to the ropes. Taker hits a hard elbow into JBL’s skull. Taker climbs back up to the apron and drops a leg across JBL’s neck. Perhaps Undertaker could end this match now and end the suffering of having to watch this go for twenty minutes. Taker continues to try and drag JBL to the hearse, but JBL keeps fighting back desperately. Taker drives JBL kidney first into the steel barrier. Taker then whips JBL into the steel ring steps, continuing the glorified squash of the WWE Champion. Taker walks over to the Spanish announce table and clears it, but JBL grabs the steel steps and nails Taker in the head. JBL follows it up with some punches and kicks, and Taker is in a daze. JBL leads Taker to the barricade and smashes the challenger’s head into it. JBL takes the steel steps again and drives it into the skull and shoulder of the dead man. JBL drops an elbow drop on Taker, who is slumped in the aisle. JBL drags Taker over to the hearse, but Taker fights back with a shot to JBL’s neck. JBL hunts after Taker and hits another series of hard punches. Taker rolls back into the ring, and I am enjoying this more now. JBL climbs to the top rope and hits a flying shoulder knock-down on Undertaker. JBL hits a swinging neckbreaker and goes to pull him up, but Taker counters into a triangle choke. JBL taps out, but there are no submissions in this match. JBL is out for now, and Undertaker must try to drag the champion back to the hearse. Taker dumps JBL to the ringside area, facing the announce tables. Taker slams JBL into the Spanish announce table and threatens the announcers with a monitor. Taker continues the methodical assault on the champ. JBL reverses a hard Irish whip and sends Taker flying knee first into the steel steps. JBL removes the top part of the steps and sets Undertaker up for a power bomb, but it is countered into a back body drop off the steps. JBL takes a great bump and hits the arena floor hard. Taker is back up and punches JBL over the barricade, and continues the assault in the crowd. JBL is bashed into another barricade, and Taker tosses him back into the ringside area. Taker then sets JBL for the tombstone piledriver on the steel steps… and hits it! Pardon my French, but holy shit! JBL is busted open and the champion appears to be about dead. JBL drives an elbow in JBL’s bloody forehead, and throws the champion over the announce table. JBL grabs a chair and hits Undertaker across the head with it! JBL clears the announce table and grabs a monitor. JBL sets the challenger up on the table and brings a chair with him. Taker grabs JBL by the neck and chokeslams JBL through the Spanish announce table! That marks the third big bump JBL has taken in this match! Undertaker sets JBL up on his shoulders and carries him over to the hearse. Undertaker opens the door, but Heidenreich was waiting inside! Heidenreich dumps a liquid on a cloth and smothers Undertaker with it. It must have been sleep-inducing, because Taker is stuck inside as the hearse pulls away. Taker wakes up and storms out of the hearse, attacking Heidenreich. JBL catches Undertaker with the clothesline from hell, and opens the hearse again. JBL and Heidenreich team up and force Undertaker back into the hearse. The hearse drives out of the arena, giving JBL the victory at 21:08. The match was a decent brawl and earns some points from the big bumps JBL took. That finish really hurt the match though, so I’m taking off some points. **1/4.
Winner and STILL WWE Champion: JBL
-After the match, JBL takes the microphone and rubs the victory into the face of all the fans. Backstage, we find out that Paul Heyman was driving the hearse. He encourages Heidenreich to get into a truck and drive into the hearse at top speed, “killing off” the Undertaker. A busted up Heidenreich comes out of the truck and laughs at what he has just done. Meanwhile, the live audience is completely silent, and they had been hot throughout the show.
Final thoughts: This was a really good pay-per-view up until that terrible ending. The under-card matches were all very solid and delivered, while the three most hyped matches fell flat. The main event was surprisingly decent, mostly thanks to the hard work of JBL. I can’t say I would advise anyone to seek this show out, but it is a good relic of a past era of Smackdown before a lot of talented stars were released and were actually being utilized.
Mild recommendation.