The Critic: The Complete Series (1994-95)
It Stinks! Two words forever made famous by a short, fat, balding, and miserable film critic. The Critic is an Animated Seris created by Al Jean and Mike Reiss of "The Simpsons" fame, originally broadcasted on ABC ("I had a big show on ABC... for about a week") for the first season, then moved to FOX for the remainder of it's run. Starring the voice of Jon Lovitz as the voice of Jay Sherman, and a supporting cast of whacky characters, ranging from his best friend Jeremy Hawke, to his father Franklyn ("If I could be a vegetable, I'd be a carrot"), boss Duke Phillips (voiced by Charles Napier), and make-up woman/chain smoker Doris (voiced by Doris Grau). The show is almost entirely based on movie/television parodies while making an effort to make the story of the episode make sense. Since I'm lazy, I'm not going to do running commentary on the episodes, and just make random notes.
Episode #1: The Pilot
Plot: Jay is astounded when beautiful actress Valerie Fox takes a romantic interest in him. Despite warnings from his best friend, Australian actor Jeremy Hawke, that dating actresses is extremely dangerous, Jay begins an affair with the luscious Valerie.
Opinion: This episode is jam-packed with jokes, parodies, and everything in between. From "Beauty and King Dork" to the infamous "Wee Wee" Story, this is probably one of the best episodes of the series. Parodies of films include Home Alone... 5 ("we left Kevin home alone... and he's only 23!"), Rabbi P.I. (Arnold Schwartzenegger undercover as a hasidic jew), Family Affair: The Motion Picture (starring Marlon Brando being paid $8 million to play Mr. French), and Seinfeld.
Rating: 10/10
Favorite Line:
Jay: ...and this is where I had my 8th birthday party. The clown scared me and I wet my pants. Everyone laughed and called me "Wee Wee."
Valerie: Kids can be so cruel.
Horse Keeper: Hiya, Wee Wee. Still wettin' them drawers?
Jay: Oh, shut up!
Horse Keeper: Sure thing, Mr. "W."
Episode #2: Miserable
Plot: At a screening, Jay falls for a lovely projectionist, not realizing she's actually an obsessed fam determined to make him her prisoner.
Opinion: Obviously an almost a direct rip-off of Stephen King's Misery. The first act seems to drag a bit with Jay being depressed about not finding love. Once the storyline kicks in, it's pretty good, with some awesome lines. Although the whole episode just makes fun of Misery, we also get a helpful scene of Indecent Proposal 2 ("Last time you offered us $1 million." "Yes, but then I was worth $1,000,006"), Tim Burton's Edward Plungerhands ("Please shoot me."), and Honey, I Laminated The Kids.
Rating: 8/10
Favorite Lines:
Strange Woman: This is the day I start killing you.
Jay: Start?
Strange Woman: The way I do it, it takes 16 days. This is step one... (pulls out pair of scissors)... I'm gonna give you a stupid haircut.
Jay: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
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Franklyn Sherman: If I could be a vegetable, I'd be a carrot.
(News Paper Headline: Carrot Man to Big Apple: "I Miss My Baby Carrot!")
Episode #3: Marty's First Date
Plot: Jay's hints to his son Marty on how to romance a young woman have far-reaching consequences: the critic has to speed to Havana to rescue the lovestruck lad, who has literally taken his father's advice and follow her home... to Cuba.
Opinion: The first episode to focus more on a supporting character, this time being Jay's son, Martin. We also get the first "live" appearence of Jay's ex-wife, Ardeth, who has flashbacks of "falling in love" with Jay, resulting in her screaming at the top of her lungs. While as good as the last episode, it seems to suffer more with a lacking ending than a boring opening. One of the memorable moments is an "international food fight", where the french table surrender after being hit with a piece of bread. Parodies include Jay remarking to the posters of Family Feud: The Movie and MASH: The movie of the TV Show of the Motion Picture. We are also disappointed that Jay's french-loving film called "The Red Balloon" is some other horrible Hollywood trash.
Rating: 7.5/10
Favorite Line:
(During the food fight)
Jay: (singing) Give me your french fries... (eats handful of french fries), give me your pot pies (eats a pot pie), I'll give you large thighs, self-served Ice Cream! (eats scoop of Ice Cream) Mmm.... DEEEEEEEEEEEEE-licious.
Episode #4: Dial "M" For Mother
Plot: Jay's attempt to show the world he can by warm by appearing with his mother on a talk shhow is a categorical failure: he just can't find anything nice to say about her.
Opinion: Another one of my favorite episodes. Duke does everything he can to make fans like Jay, from changing his show, giving him a "son" to work with, and putting him on TV to be with his mother. None of it works, and Jay breaks his mother's heart. Even after they make up, Jay and Duke pull every trick in the book to get positive reactions, including roller skating bears and Franklyn dancing in a diaper. Parodies include the remake of Pride of the Yankees (where Lou Gehrig survives his "Lou Gehrig's disease").
Rating: 9/10
Favorite Lines:
Duke: This audience monitors all of our shows. Here's what they think of you...
Jay: ...and that's why I'm glad the Beatles broke up.
(everyone votes negative)
Jay: That's not so bad.
Duke: Oh yeah?
Hitler: (Screaming in German)
(several people vote positive)
Jay: I'm worse than Hitler?!
Duke: Not worse, just less warm and cuddly.
----------------------------------------------------------
Jay: (yelling at his mother) Shut up, shut up, shut up!
(turns television off)
Duke: Jay, little buddy, I got one question: Why, in a show designed to improve your warmth, did you chew out your mama in front of 100 million viewers?
Jay: That's what you ask about? No questions about the old man in the diaper?
Duke: I thought he was cute... 'till the diaper dropped.
Episode #5: A Little Deb' Will Do Ya'
Plot: Jay's stepsister Margo reluctantly agrees to become a debutante and Jay's ratings are threatened by Humphrey The Hippo, a Children's show.
Opinion: The second episode to feature a supporting character, this time Margo, who is blackmailed into becoming a debutante when her mother threatens to shoot her favorite horse. While some site gags are hilarious (Margo dreaming of a mix between Jay and her horse), this seems like a very flat episode, and one of my least favorite. Parodies include from the creators of Howard's End, The Tea Cozy (getting Jay's highest rating... a 7 out of 10) and Humphrey is obviously a mock up of Barney the Purple Idiot.
Rating: 5/10
Favorite Lines:
Shakleford: Ah, Adopted Master Jay. I'll tell the cook to break out the sterling silver slop bucket.
Jay: Hey, I didn't come here for a free meal, all right? I'm not some dumb college student. By the way, I brought my laundry. (everything falls out, including a pair of red silk underpants) Can you get those?
Shakleford: If I can find a long enough stick.
---------------------------------------------
Kid #1: You made Humphrey sad!
Kid #2: Break his thumbs!
Jay: Let's get out of here, son.
Martin: Oh, this is worse than the time you sucker-punched Mr. Rogers.
Episode #6: Eye on the Prize
Plot: After the failure of his 1000th Episode Special and party, Jay is told that his TV show "Coming Attractions" is in trouble. It's time to take drastic measures.
Opinion: Another of my favorites. When Jay's show loses the interest of the fans, he's canned, despite begging on his knees while naked in his office. Jay, in need of work, takes a job to teach foreign cab drivers english on a low-rated early morning cable channel. Includes special appearences by Adam West and Phil Hartman. To get back on track, Jay writes a Pulitzer Prize nominated article on "The Sorry State of Films Today." Parodies include The Merchant of Venice with Keanu Reeves ("if we eat bad guacamole, do we not blow chunks?"), The Shining, and Arthur 3: Revenge of the Liver ("You're pancreas is swollen to the size of a basketball", "no wonder I dribble so much).
Rating: 9/10
Favorite Lines:
Jay: ...And now, to help me celebrate my 1,000th show, we have a very special guest, Meryl...
Stage Hand: Streep Canceled!
Jay: Merrily, we roll along to a commercial.
Stage Hand: Don't worry, we have T.V's Batman, Adam West, standing by.
Jay: Adam West? What the hell am I gonna say to Adam W---ell, I'll say, Thank You for the years of laughter and tears.
Adam West: What tears would those be?
Jay: Why, tears of laughter. Ha-Ha, oh. Tell us all about your amazing film career.
Adam West: Well Jay, one of my most amazing films is The Happy Hooker Goes to Hollywood. It came out in 1980. It's one I'm sure you enjoyed all the way to the end.
Jay: All right, thank you. We're out of time.
Adam West: I just got here.
Jay: Coming up next---
Stage Hand: Lorne Greene.
Jay: Lorne Greene's dead.
Adam West: Man, I wish I had his agent.
----------------------------------------------------
Orson Welles: Rosebud... yes, Rosebud frozen peas. Full of country goodness and green peaness. Wait, that's terrible. I quit.... just a handful for the road. (munching) Oh what luck, there's a french fry stuck in my beard.
Episode #7: Every Doris Has Her Day
Plot: Jay befriends an accidentally "dates" an older woman, make-up artist Doris, only to suspect she might be his biological mother.
Opinion: Focused more on the character of Doris, one of the more popular characters of the show, it's another good one with a realistic storyline and some great parodies. In the end, when they find out the truth, Jay has to give a horrible movie made by Duke a good review to have Doris keep her job. Parodies include Howard Stern's End ("You never put out, you're like my wife"), The Hunchback of Notre Dame, The Restored Director's Cut of J.F.K. with 2 hours of new footage ("back, and to the left...").
Rating: 9/10
Favorite Line:
Jay: That was, of course, a clip from Howard Stern's End. With me now, distinguished actor: Sir Roger Twice-Nightly. Sir Roger, why in the world did you do this movie?
Sir Roger: Because I need the money. I have 3 mistresses of various ages and genders in London.
Jay: Well, I have 3 roast chickens of various ages and genders in my apartment.
Episode #8: Marathon Mensch
Plot: When an accidental fire breaks out in the stuido during his TV show, Jay's whole audience watches as he panics and runs screaming from the set. Jay gamely struggles to restablish his manhood.
Opinion: Another good episode, but with a little lacking in storyline. While Jay being trained by his father and taking more time to run the marathon than it takes to walk the route, it just falls a bit lower than the previous episodes, but still a good episode. Parodies include the Bad News Mets starring Tony Curtis ("Who impregnated my daughter? (remaining players walk away) Oh marvelous."), Cops go to Shannon Doherty's House, and The Cowering Inferno: The Jay Sherman Story ("I've got to go potty!").
Rating: 8.5/10
Favorite Line:
Jay: Oh my God! Fire! Help!
Stage Hand: Oh dear, I need to go back. Mmm... chocolate (takes doughnuts).
Jay: I can't die like this. I have holes in my Little Mermaid Underwear.
(cut back)
Jay: This is it, I'm gonna die. I'll see you in hell, Justine Bateman!
DISC 2
Episode #9: L.A. Jay
Plot: In the wake of the positive response to a screenplay he has wirtten, Jay takes a sabatical from his show and joins Jeremy in Hollywood, where studio boss Gary Grossman (voiced by Billy Crystal) agrees to buy it on the spot.
Opinion: The string of good episodes continues. The highlight of the episode is Billy Crystal playing a clueless idiot Hollywood big shot, and Jay attempting to make a good movie out of a sequel. With jabs at Andrew Dice Clay and Vanilla Ice (and an awesome scene where the Elephant Man makes fun of Jay), this is a keeper. Parodies include Scent of a Jackass ("Whoo-ah!") and Ghostchasers III.
Rating: 9/10
Favorite Line:
Jay: Our last film tonight stars Al Pacino in Scent of a Jackass.
Al Pacino: Whoo-ah! Charlie, you pimply little preppy, I'm gonna kill myself.
Charlie: Good.
Al Pacino: I mean it you MTV watching mama's boy. I'm gonna pull the trigger.
Charlie: Fine, if it'll shut you up.
Al Pacino: You're gonna miss my whoo-ah, my tangoing, my blind driving, my whoo-ah.
Charlie: You said that already.
Al Pacino: I say it alot. Whoo-ah!
Jay: Talk about overusing a catchphrase. Hotchie Motchie! It Stinks!
Episode #10: Dr. Jay
Plot: While at the Cannes Film Festival, Jay comes to the rescue when Duke is diagnosed with a terminal illness.
Opinion: A few steps down from the previous episodes, but still entertaining. Duke contimplates suicide after finding out he'll die in 4 years, but Jay does everything he can to create a cure for his boss. In exchange, Jay wants Duke to destroy his Phillipsvision which recreates classic movies with "better endings." Parodies include Babar (Jay walking out of a room swinging his arm and strutting), Jurrasic Park 2: Revenge of the Raptors, Phillipsvision's version of Sparticus ("I love you, Sparticus"), and One Flew Over the Cukoo's Nest.
Rating: 7.5/10
Favorite Line:
Jay: You simply cannot do this.
Duke: I can do anything I want. If I want Citizen Kane's last word to be "Schwing", then that's what it's gonna be. I'm a God, I tell you! A Go---(passes out)... Rosebud... I mean Schwing!
Episode #11: A Day at the Races and a Night at the Opera
Plot: Jay tries to help Marty overcome an inferiority complex by taking him to see his psychiatrist.
Opinion: Easily the worst episode of the series, since the Martin character is so annoying and pussified. He fails at doing anything right at his School's Field Day and winning the Booby Prize. He tries learning to play a guitar, but instead, he wins the talent show by doing rhythmic dancing with his stomach. Don't ask. Parodies include The sequel of Silence of the Lambs, Honey I Ate the Kids and a Few Good Men.
Rating: 3.5/10
Favorite Line:
(during the opening title)
(phone rings)
Jay: Hello?
Al Pacino: Whoo-ah! Jay, it's Al Pacino. Whoo-ah! I can't stop saying "Whoo-ah! Keep that in mind when you review my next film, The Godfather Part Whoo-ah!. Whoo-ah!
Episode #12: Uneasy Rider
Plot: Jay quits his show to become a truck driver after he's asked to promote Savvy Indian Chewing Tobacco on the show.
Opinion: Like the plot outline says, Jay quits after Duke tries pushing him to promote Savvy Indian (formerly Savage Indian) Chewing Tobacco on the air. Jay becomes a trucker, and earns the respect of his fellow truckers under the handle of "Lardbutt" by delivering Politically Correct history books from Florida to New York. However, his true calling is doing films... and Rex Reed's horrible tobacco addiction is costing Duke $50 each time he sings "Yu-u-my. Yummy yum yum." Parodies include Chicken starring Jack Nicholson ("I'm gonna peck up your wall! Cluck. Cluck."), Rocky VI Texas Chainsaw Massacre 4, and Schenectady starring Jerry Lewis ("here's my 2 word review: bad movie!").
Rating: 8.5/10
Favorite Line:
Trucker Employer: Are you prone to having blackouts?
Jay: No.
Trucker Employer: Are you prone to having blackouts?
Jay: No.
Trucker Employer: Are you prone to having blackouts?
Jay: No!
Trucker Employer: Oh, better than the rest of us Mr. I know-where-I-am-at-all times. Are you prone to having blackouts?
Jay: Yes.
Trucker EmployeR: Excellent. Previous salary?
Jay: $271,000 a year.
(Trucker guy punches Jay)
Episode #13: A Pig-Boy and his Dog
Plot: Inspired by her son's portly figure, Eleanor writes a childrens book called "The Fat Little Pig", and Jay becomes a laughingstock.
Opinion: The final episode of Season 1 (a.k.a the only entire series). It's one of those forgetable episodes since the plot is rather boring, but the jokes are still pretty good. Jay's torment is always funny, but his mother eventually grows a heart and kills off the Pig Boy. Parodies include the remake of Pinocchio starring the voices of Robin Williams and Arnold Scwartzenegger, Home Improvement (Franklyn talking to "Wilson" the Scarecrow), Jurrasic Park, JAWS, Robo-Clapper, and Barney the Dinosaur: The Motion Picture (with Marlon Brando being paid $10 Million to play Barney).
Rating: 7/10
Favorite Line:
Jay: The Fat Little Pig? (turns page to see himself in pig form) Hotchie Motchie!
Eleanor: It just poured out of me.
FLP: Mother, I'm dropping out of law school to become a film critic.
Mother: Oh, that's terrible. Just rip out my liver and whip it into a scrumptious pate.
FLP: Don't mind if I do.
(Mother Goose bites FLP's nose)
Jay: This whole story is about me, isn't it?
Eleanor: No, No... a thousand times, no. Well, yes, but so what?
Episode #14: Sherman, Woman, and Child
Plot: Jay meets Alice, who gives him tips on improving his show and boosting his poor ratings.
Opinion: The first episode of the series to air on the FOX Network, and they spruce up the jokes to be a little more mature. The image of Jay is made to make him look more likeable by making his eyes bigger and head less-flat. A good way to debut on FOX, with plenty of random jokes to make up for the weak storyline. Parodies include a Few More Good Men ("What am I, a freakin' Myna Bird?!), Tim Burton's The Nightmare Before Chanukah, Forrest Gump II: Gump Harder, Scent of a Wolfman ("Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-ah!"),
Rating: 9/10
Favorite Line:
Jay: Doris, I hate to ask, but did the ratings come in?
Doris: Yeah, you're getting your butt kicked by the Benedictine Monk Variety Hour.
(on television)
Monks: (singing) Oh.......Pretty woman. You are so bodacious, pretty woman. Just like St. Ignatius...
Monk #1: We've got a great show tonight with our special guest star, the Pope!
(The Pope breaks a block of ice with his head)
Epsiode #15: Sherman of Arabia
Pilot: Jay recalls his heroics during the Golf War while chaperoning a slumber party for Marty.
Opinion: Easily one of my favorite episodes. It's basically all made up fantasy crap, but everything is gut busting hilariously awesome. Jay retelling the story of his time in Iraq during the Gulf War is hard to make funny when just typing it. Dancing around singing that "In the Jungle" song, being bothered with a guy reading riddles off of a paper cup, and forced to watch horribly dubbed movies are just some of the things. Oh, and making fun of George Bush. Parodies include Beverly Hills Robo-Cop 9 1/2 2 (*explosion*), Roseanne (poking fun at ABC), Brown Acres, Hee-Haw: The Next Generation, and Arthur.
Rating: 10/10
Favorite Line:
Jay: Oh, well, I've created a new scale that shows which diseases I'd rather have than than watch this movie. Well, we're past scurvy, leprosy, unidentified yellow discharge, and the winner is: Spastic Colon. Good night!
Duke: Hold on their a minute Chumley, I'm on the phone with the Spastic Colon people. Can you hold on a minute? Oh, you can't.
Episode #16: A Song for Margo
Plot: Jay's stepsister Margo is wooed by grunge rock star Johnny Wrath. Alice seeks help from Jay in finding the right school for Penny.
Opinion: Wow, Margo episodes sure do suck. I guess it's because you can't really relate to her lame-ass character, which is nothing. The stuff with Alice looking for pre-schools is pretty funny (including a Nightmare on Elm Street Parody and children forced to make Simpsons merchandise), but the episode sucks. The finish with Jon Lovitz playing a hasidic jew is funny, though. Parodies include Star Trek: Generation X starring Christian Slater and Keanu Reeves, the politically correct version of James Bond, On His or Her Majesties Secret Service, and the Energizer Bunny.
Score: 6/10
Favorite Line:
Alice: Maybe this one will be better.
(sign reads "A Nightmare on Elm Street Pre-School when a branch uncovers the top)
Pre-School Guy: Come on in, it's nap time.
Penny: I don't want to nap.
Pre-School Guy: (transforms into Freddy Krueger) You will nap or be eaten by the worm from hell!
Alice: I don't like this school.
Freddy Krueger: Which part didn't you like? It's the worm from hell, isn't it?
(Worm from hell comes through floor)
Freddy Krueger: He's not so bad once you get to know him.
Alice: Let's go honey.
(worm from hell whimpers)
DISC THREE:
Episode #17: From Chunk to Hunk
Plot: Jay and Marty go to camp to lose weight and both discover that they are actually happier being fat.
Opinion: Another boring episode with some good jokes thrown in, and once again, the bad episode is featured on the boring second-tier characters no one likes. Marty loses a lot of weight, but everyone only likes him for his looks, so he gets fat again. Parodies include Speed Reading ("It's fish, you idiot. Fish!.") and Jim Carrey in Abe Lincoln: Pet Detective ("Four score and seven years ago... and now, a rebuttal from the south!").
Rating: 6.5/10
Favorite Line:
(opening title)
(phone rings)
Jay: Hello?
FOX Representative: Jay, this is the FOX Network with a little advice. At the beginning of each show, why don't you write on a chalkboard like Bart? And could you change your name to Homer? And weat an 8-foot-tall blue wig like Marge? And how would you feel about sucking on a pacifier?
Episode #18: Lady Hawke
Plot: Alice is jealous when Jay is courted by Jeremy's beautiful sister, and Jay finds himself in the unusual position of having to choose between two women.
Opinion: I ran out of stuff to say. This is a woman's episode, so I'm bored. The jokes are still funny. Parodies include Yesterday Night Live ("starring the not-good-enough for feature film players, including the fat guy, the crazy woman, and the token black guy!"), True Lies 2 starring Tony Curtis ("I used to dance like this for Kirk Douglas."), and Little Men starring Michael J. Fox, Dudley Moore, and Joe Pesci.
Rating: 7/10
Favorite Line:
Marty: Dad, there goes Yesterday Night Live alum Jon Lovitz!
Jon Lovitz: Make way! Make way, you comedy peons. Famous movie star coming through, and I am carrying something you've never seen before. It's called "talent."
Jay: Man, I wish I had half his looks.
Marty: Well, you kind of sound like him.
Jay: You think?
Episode #19: Frankie and Ellie Get Lost
Plot: Jay's parents disappear on their 40th anniversary vacation and Jay and Margo suddenly inherit their vast fortune.
Opinion: I believe the only episode to really focus on both of Jay's Parents, and when one of the best characters of the show is the father, you expect great things. Funny quick jokes with them, Orson Wells, and various other supporting characters makes this a great episode. Parodies include the Electric Football documentary, and The BodyGuard II staring the Three Tenors ("we-he-he-he will always love you!").
Rating: 9/10
Favorite Line:
Orson Welles: Hello, I'm Orson Welles. What follows is a terrifying journey into the world of magic, mystery...
Director: Mr. Welles, this is a video will.
Orson Welles: What? Look, I don't need to do this. I've got a fish stick commercial in an hour... oh, what the hell, I need the money. What follows is a terrifying journey into the world of probate, beneficiaries, and goblins.
Director: Mr. Welles...
Orson Welles: Fine, fine. No goblins. I give you, The Living Will! (evil laughter)
Episode #20: Siskel & Ebert & Jay & Alice
Plot: When a popular movie reviewing team breaks up, Alice encourages Jay to audition to becom the new partner.
Opinion: Best. Episode. Ever. Something about 2 guys in their 50's acting like a couple of pre-teens just warms my heart. Also the musical number at the end is awesome, and the film parodies are some of the best. Oh, what the hell, we all know the best part is Jay wanting to win an Oscar because it's made of chocolate. Or maybe it's Siskel seeing through the devil's disguise. Or the guy melting when watching a horrible movie screened by Ebert. Parodies include Children of a Lesser Godzilla, The 1970's Planet of the Dogs ("Dr. Zaius, quit sniffing my butt!"), Willy Wonka, Arnold Schwartzenegger as Mrs. Doubtfire, and Sleepless in Seattle.
Rating: 10/10
Favorite Line:
Auditioning Reviewer: Tim Allen gives that same likeable performance we always love, once again proving Disney pictures have the magic touch that may not win awards, but keep America smiling. How was that?
Siskel: .... You're Satan, aren't you?
(Reviewer turns into Satan)
Satan: You win another round, Siskel, but we shall meet again!
Episode #21: All The Duke's Men
Plot: Jay is hired as a speech writer when Duke runs for presidency and soon learns some grim truths about the world of politics.
Opinion: Short and sweet, a good episode, and the only one that really focuses on Duke, who has the natural appeal to hate but still be funny at the same time. Reading speeches to jews, gun toting lunatics and ZOMBIES is rather strange, but cute (especially since Doris is looking for a husband at the Zombie one), and Franklyn's speech is simply... odd. Parodies include A Few Good Monsters ("5 minutes to Munsters. Got to see Herman. Got to see Herman."), and Apocalypse Wow starring Marlon Brando doing an awesomely lame song.
Rating: 8/10
Favorite Line:
Woman: Our candidates are now entering the studio... Vice president Al Gore, Republican Candidate Rich Dull Wasp, and former Governor of New York, Franklyn Sherman. Governer Sherman, an opening statement?
Franklyn Sherman: As the first black female head of the Ku Klux Klan, I'd like to say America stinks!
Duke: This may hurt us more than it helps us.
Woman: And Governor Sherman, what would you do in the case of Nuclear attack?
Franklyn Sherman: (imitating Julia Child) Then you sprinkle the chicken liberally with old spice.
Episode #22: Dukerella
Plot: Alice's upstaging sister arrives in search of a rich husband and quickly turns her attention to Jay.
Opinion: Another of those "womeny shows" that men can't get into, and since the show focus' on a one time only character, well... it doesn't come out too well. I can't say anything more since I'm really running out of ways to say how something stinks or rules, so I won't say nothing. Parodies include Guess Who's Coming to Dinner? with Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley.
Rating: 5/10
Favorite Line:
Randa: Bonjour, y'all. I have always depended on the kindess of strangers.
Guy on Bus: Then you're in the wrong place, toots. This is New York. Now, I'm off to my job, English Professor at N.Y. "Youse."
Episode #23: I Can't Believe It's a Clip Show
Plot: Jay is held hostage at Carnegie Hall while hosting his show's 10th-anniversary celebration.
Opinion: For a clip show, it's not too bad, since it at least tries to make an interesting "new story" around the clips. The clips in question is a long list, but here are some of them... Arthur III: Revenge of the Liver, Honey I Ate the Kids, Chicken, Jurassic Park II, Smokey and the Sparticus, J.F.K. with 8 (not 2) hours of bonus footage, Rabbi P.I., The Slide Whistle, What's Truth Got to Do With It, Family Affair: The Motion Picture, Every Which Way but Lucid, Crocodile Ghandi, Hold the Mustard Gas, Ghostchasers III, Scent of a Jackass, Schenectady, Edward Plungerhands, Robo-Clapper, Home Alone 5, Merchants of Venice Beach, The Remake of Pinocchio, Rocky VI Texas Chainsaw Massacre 4, The later work of Orson Welles, and Jay Sherman's Student Film.
Rating: 7/10
Favorite Original Line:
Jay: Tonight, I'll be showing clips from my short lived ABC series. You know why they canceled me? Politics. You steal candy from the Olsen twins (or in todays case, crack) and you'll regret it for the rest of your life.
Bonus Features:
- Audio Commentary on episodes Pilot, Miserable, Every Doris Has her Day, L.A. Jay, A Pig-Boy and his Dog, Sherman, Woman & Child, Sherman of Arabia, and Siskel & Ebert & Jay & Alice (and more) with series creators Al Jean and Mike Reiss, voice actors Maurice Le Marche, Charlies Napier, Nick Jameson, and various writers and producers of the series.
- The Critic's Trailer Parodies:
1. Brown Acres
2. The Red Balloon: Part II: Revenge of the Balloon
3. Dennis the Menace II Society
4. Jurassic Park II
5. Rabbi P.I.
6. The Slide Whistle
7. Honey I Ate The Kids
8. Smokey and the Sparticus
9. One Flew Over the Cukoo's Nest
- The Critic's Top Ten List: (No idea on the order)
1. A Few More Good Men
2. Tim Burton's Nightmare Before Chanukah
3. Planet of the Dogs
4. Apocalypse Wow
5. D.T.: The Drunken Terrestrial ("I fly better when I've had a few.")
6. The Cockroach King
7. Scent of a Wolfman
8. Family Affair: The Motion Picture
9. Star Trek: Generation X
10. Arthurt III: Revenge of the Liver
- "Creating The Critic" Documentary with interviews from the same gaggle of idiots who did alternate commentary for select episodes. Only runs about 10 minutes, or about the length it ran on ABC before they told them they wouldn't be picked up for a 2nd Season. Very not that good, as it mainly talks about how they created the Jay Sherman character.
- Webisodes: 10 short episodes of the Critic on the internet, made around 2000-2001 it seems, judging by the references of movies and jokes. While not too bad, they aren't very good either, since we've no Doris (Doris Grau died in 1995), Franklyn or Eleanor, Alice, Duke Phillips, and all the other good characters. Maurice le Marche & Nick Jameson come back though, so it's not a complete loss. However, the running storyline is Jay having an affair with his new 20-something make-up lady. Very boring, but the first episode is pretty good, at least. Interesting seeing these now, since I didn't have the internet back then.
Final Thoughts: If you love off-beat jokes that rarely make sense with the actual storyline and 20 second clips of various movie parodies, this is the show for you! The bonus features aren't much to brag about, but it's still more than almost every TV box set has. WOO! Commercials for OTHER DVD's! What awesome bonus features! Anyway, thumbs up and solid recommendation for the fans I mentioned, but if you like more "down to earth" shows, avoid avoid avoid! Thank you, good night every body! [cue Critic closing music]