WWF Survivor Series Showdown 1993 - November 21st, 1993
"Why didn't someone tell me that Hawaii was a foreign country?!"
- Just for a heads up, this will probably be as far as I go in terms of "newer shows" for my reviews, since I wanted to review one of the Survivor Series Showdown specials like a pal on another wrestling site did a few weeks ago, and the only full episode I have is the 1993 Version, so here we are. The 1993 Survivor Series hosted... not much, but it did kick-off the awesome feud between Bret and Owen Hart, and Santa Claus came to the ring to congratulate Lex Luger on his victory over the evil foreigner Ludvig Borga. But the Survivor Series is an entirely different broadcast, so let's get to the Showdown special held a few days before the PPV...
- This Weekend on SuperStars... Bret Hart was in a middle of a match with Irwin R. Schyster when interference from Mr. Fuji awarded the match by DQ to Hart. Before any beatings can be done on Bret Hart, his brother Owen made the save, and Yokozuna was made to look like a fool. Why is this important? Because Bret Hart challenges Yokozuna for the World Title on tonight's broadcast!
- Commentary duties is split in two, since the matches were taped in separate locations. Location #1 is being done by Vince McMahon and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan, and the B-Team... I mean Location #2 consists of Jim Ross and Gorilla Monsoon. While the latter would probably be better when it comes to the wrestling PBP, Heenan always rocks, and ticking off Vince McMahon is always a plus. Obvious blue-screen effects by WWE to make it look like the broadcast teams are actually in the arenas.
- Doink The Clown vs. Bastion Booger:
Commentary is being done by Jim Ross and Gorilla Monsoon for this match. Lucky them... you have the most talented broadcaster in Jim Ross, and he's doing the comedy match. At the Survivor Series, Doink teams with Doink, Doink, and Doink (please don't ask) to take on the team of Bastion Booger, Bam Bam Bigelow, and the Head Shrinkers. Doink comes to the ring on a scooter, with buckets hanging from the handle bars. Bucket #1 has confetti in it. Doink talks Booger into using his scooter, but Booger is too fat for it, and thus falls over. Booger, the tough man he is, takes his anger out on the defenseless inanimate object. Face-to-Face time and Doink squirts Booger with his flower. Next we get the old 100 foot glove trick as Booger tries jerking Doink towards himself by the arm. First lockup goes into the corner, and Booger misses a slow punch. Doink with an Irish whip to the corner, and Doink kicks Booger in the butt. Booger misses a charge to the corner, and Doink trips Booger by kneeling down behind him. Booger rolls outside for some stalling. He pulls Doink out by the leg and rams Doink into various things. He sets Doink up against the ring post, and for the first time ever, the charge actually hits! Booger hammers on Doink (weakly) and chokes him across the top rope. Irish whip, and Doink goes down from a back elbow. Booger with some dancing, and he goes back to work. After a lot more nothing, Booger goes to the reverse chinlock. Doink spills to the outside on a weak kick this side of Nikolai Volkoff. Back in the ring, and the clubbering continues. Booger with a series of shoulders to the midsection in the corner. Bastion flattens Doink with a leg drop, and chokes him a little more. Please wrestling God, end this fucking match... Doink attempts a comeback, but a rake of the eyes ends that. Irish whip, and Booger clotheslines Doink. He goes for a cover, but Doink tricks him into getting off, and Doink rolls Booger up for the three count at 7:35. -* That was really fucking painful to watch, and you're telling me that finish actually makes sense ever?! This was basically a super-extended squash for Bastion Booger until Doink outsmarted him for the surprise win. After the match, Doink dumps some hot sauce onto the pizza Booger brought with him before the match, and hilarity ensues!
- Three Weeks Ago on SuperStars... Tatanka battled Ludvig Borga in a battle of undefeated wrestlers. With the help of Mr. Fuji and a steel chair, Borga ended Tatanka's 20-month undefeated streak by pinning him with one finger. After the match, Yokozuna helped add insult-to-injury by dropping several Banzai's on the ribs of Tatanka until "Made in the USA" Lex Luger made the save (after fighting off both Quebecers). Because of Tatanka's injuries (kayfabe), The Undertaker was named his replacement.
- Raymond Rougeau with a very special podium Interview with the All-Americans, The Steiner Brothers, The Undertaker, and team captain Lex Luger. The feuds going into that match were technically Luger/Yokozuna and Steiners/Quebecers, but Luger was working house shows with Ludvig Borga, while we still had the hint of his feud with Yokozuna. When overwhelming crowd support for Bret Hart at Royal Rumble '94 changed plans, Luger was dead in the water for most of 1994 until Tatanka's heel turn at SummerSlam. Oh, this is a paint-by-numbers interview, as they preach about America being great, and they throw threats at their opponents.
- Four Weeks Ago on Monday Night Raw... Bobby Heenan did a special in-ring interview with Crush (with a goatee) and his "new" manager Mr. Fuji (no one brings up that Fuji managed Crush when he was a member of Demolition). Savage talked Crush into turning to the good side, but Crush turned heel a second time, and with the help of Yokozuna, flattens him like a bug. Two Weeks Later... Savage assaulted Vince McMahon before attacking Crush before his scheduled match against some unknown jobber.
- Virgil vs. Crush (w/ Mr. Fuji):
Now here's the deal... Crush is on a team called the Foreign Fanatics (with "Japanese" but really Samoan Yokozuna, Canadian Jacques Rougeau, and Finnish Ludvig Borga), but he's being billed from Kona, Hawaii still. Unless my geography is really bad, Hawaii is part of the United States, and has been for the last 47 years. Virgil has been on job duty for well over a year by this point, and quite honestly, was surprised he was still around. Virgil doesn't even get an entrance, the poor bastard. Crush attacks Virgil before the bell with a series of rights and a headbutt. Virgil goes down to a weak kick, and Crush follows with some choking. Snapmare and rake of the eyes by Crush, and Danny Davis gets in his face for it. Crowd chants "USA", but since Crush is from the USA, it's a weak chant. Virgil mounts a comeback with a boot to the face and a diving clothesline, and it's Lucha-Virgil with a plancha! Virgil applies a wristlock, but Crush isn't selling. He fails at a roll up, and Crush knocks Virgil's head off with a reverse crescent kick. Crush does his mock-karate offense a bit more while Heenan and McMahon discuss Lex Luger's motorcycle accident in 1992. Virgil tries fighting off Crush with shoulder blocks, but Crush no-sells and floors him with a big right. Crush works over Virgil in the corner, but misses a charge, and Virgil sunset flips him for a two count! Crush is back up with more whacky kicks and chokes. Choking must be a required move for heels, because Crush has been doing a lot of it. Virgil catches Crush charging into the corner with a boot to the face, and comes off the top rope with a clothesline. Virgil with his signature jabs, followed by a sledge that sends Crush to the outside. Crush tries something off the apron, but Crush catches him and rams Virgil into the side of the ring. Back into the ring and we get a Virgil chant. Virgil blocks a suplex with an inside cradle for a two count! Crush with a field goal kick to the balls and drops Virgil with more chops. Virgil ducks a punch and applies the Million Dollar Dream! Crush escapes that rather quickly and floors Virgil with a clothesline. Press slam by Crush and he drops Virgil's throat across the top rope. The Cranium Crush/Head Vice is applied, and damn, looking back on it that move really fucking sucked. Virgil apparently passes out from the pain, awarding the match to Crush at 7:54. I can't believe I actually liked that move... *1/4 While neither man did anything spectacular, Virgil's well-timed comebacks (and a plancha?!) made the match a bit entertaining, while Crush's lumbering offense made it boring. I guess when turning heel, it means you must put your movement into cruise control instead of looking like you give a shit. After the match, Crush reapplies the dreaded head squeeze, because it's that fucking awesome.
- WWF Intercontinental Championship Match:
Razor Ramon © vs. "The Model" Rick Martel (w/ Harvey Wippleman):
From an episode of SuperStars, and the long awaited rematch that determined the new Intercontinental Champion. The only explanation I have for them showing this again in much longer than recap version is that they had some time to fill. We're Joined in Progress with Ramon applying a knuckle-lock on Martel and turning it into a wristlock. Martel has Wippleman with him, because his team includes Adam Bomb, and his manager is Wippleman. Martel comes back with shoulders to the midsection, but misses a second rope cross body, allowing Ramon to cover for a two count. Ramon with the fall-away slam (a move used now by JBL) for a two count. Ramon calls for the Razor's Edge, but Wippleman climbs onto the apron to break it up and allow Martel to send Ramon outside via a running high knee. Wippleman teases an attack on Ramon, but gets caught. Martel comes off the apron with a sledge, but Ramon hits him in the midsection. Ramon sends Martel into Wippleman with an atomic drop, then rolls inside the ring to beat the count-out at 2:10. No Rating since this was too much joined in progress. After the match, Martel gets in Wippleman's face for costing him the match, so out comes Adam Bomb to tell off Martel for putting his hands on the greasy manager. Shoving match irrupts until Diesel comes to ringside to try and break it up, and finally the team captain I.R.S. makes peace (but not without a chant of "Irwin" from the crowd). How will this effect the team at the Survivor Series? Read someone's recap, since there's plenty of them.
- Reo's Roundup with special guest co-host Shawn Michaels (with his Intercontinental belt). This interview segment lasted all of 3 weeks before someone canned it, and featured the former Brother Love Bruce Prichard dressed up under all those dirty clothes of Reo (and doing his best Dusty Rhodes impersonation). Apparently they are outside the house of the Hart Family, but unless Calgary suddenly had a heat wave, I'm guessing they taped this somewhere else... and my suspicions are confirmed, as the door is answered by "Helen Hart" (with a walker in hand), a man with a hairy chest wearing a cheap mask. Michaels does a spit take after kissing "her", then tries to stir the pot that Owen is in Bret's shadow. We then see "Stu Hart" in a wheel chair playing Super Nintendo while petting a stuffed animal. Vince McMahon has enough and cuts away after that. A waste of time, but it's pretty damn funny.
- Marty Jannetty vs. Irwin R. Schyster:
Gorilla Monsoon and Jim Ross are back on commentary. Jannetty teams with Razor Ramon, the 1-2-3 Kid, and Mr. Perfect (subbed for by Randy Savage with no warning) at Survivor Series to take on the team mentioned earlier, but for those who skipped over it, it's I.R.S., Adam Bomb, Rick Martel, and Diesel. Crowd chants "Irwin" while we get a slow start. Warning: I'll refer to I.R.S. as Mike Rotundo during PBP, because it's a lot less annoying to type up. Rotundo scoop slams Jannetty from the lockup position, then readjusts his tie. Lockup #2, and Rotundo takes Jannetty over with a hip toss. "Marty" chant now, but it's a female dominated chant. Lockup into the ropes, and Jannetty blocks a cheap shot. Jannetty with a scoop slam, followed by a hip toss and dropkick, sending Rotundo out of the ring to take a breather. Jim Ross and Monsoon bring up Rotundo's background in amateur wrestling, but without calling him "Mike Rotundo." After a little stalling outside, we go back in the ring. Jannetty applies a wristlock as the crowd taunts Rotundo more. Irish whip, and Rotundo puts Jannetty down with a shoulder block. Jannetty comes back with a drop toe hold and goes into an armbar. Rotundo counters with a hip toss, but Jannetty holds on to the arm. Rotundo makes the ropes to break, and heads outside again. Back in the ring again, and Jannetty applies a standing side headlock. Jannetty walks up the turnbuckle to take Rotundo over with the hold, but it's countered by Rotundo with a head scissors. Jannetty kips up and applies a hammerlock, but Rotundo makes the ropes quickly. Jannetty applies another side headlock, and a crisscross leads to Rotundo side stepping Jannetty, causing him to spill to the outside. Rotundo rams Jannetty into the apron and ring steps before going back into the ring. Jannetty counters a suplex from the apron with a school boy roll-up for a two count. Rotundo is up first though, and puts Jannetty down with a back elbow. Rotundo with a quick elbow drop for a two count, then works in the reverse chinlock. Jannetty fights back to his feet, but Rotundo applies the obligatory abdominal stretch, then uses the ropes for added leverage. Jannetty eventually counters with a hip toss, but misses an elbow drop. Rotundo whips Jannetty to the corner, but misses a charge. Jannetty sends Rotundo to the corner hard then hammers away while holding his tongue. Jannetty with a fist to the midsection followed by a running knee lift for a two count. Irish whip is reversed, and Jannetty catches Rotundo in a sunset flip for a two count. Rotundo comes back with a snap suplex on Jannetty for a two count. Irish whip is reversed, and Jannetty connects with a diving back elbow for a two count. Another countered Irish whip, and Rotundo fucking kills Jannetty with the Write Off (diving lariat, with the Jannetty over-sell special for added effect) for the obvious pinfall at 12:36. *** A little slow at times, but a well paced old-school wrestling match and a super hot finish boosts the rating a bit. No commercials breaking up the action boosts my opinion, but I could've done without the stalling during the opening minutes of the match.
- WWF Unbelievable Commercial. Why am I noting this? Because some punk kid is dressing up as various wrestlers (including Randy Savage, Razor Ramon, Bret Hart, and Tatanka), with the joke being "don't fall for cheap imitations." I'm sure everyone is probably laughing and calling McMahon a hypocrite for this (and many other things), since we not only got "The Nacho Man" (an imitation of Randy Savage in the Billionaire Ted skits), but Razor Ramon as well (as part of the "New Razor and Diesel" angle with Jim Ross in the fall of 1996).
- Raymond Rougeau with another special podium interview, this time with the Foreign Fanatics, along with their various managers. Basically we get the same interview as from the All-Americans, but the names are changed and the threats are a little more violent. Forgive me but I pretty much fast forward this all until someone can speak clear English, like Johnny Polo.
- Survivor Series '93 Report hosted by Todd Pettengill (try spelling that name without looking at the graphic on the screen). The Survivor Series is coming up "this Wednesday" at 8 p.m. ET. Todd says he wouldn't be surprised if we saw more changes to the card by the time of Survivor Series (like Mr. Perfect being replaced by Randy Savage). We run down the entire card for Survivor Series...
1. The All-Americans vs. The Foreign Fanatics
2. The Hart Family (Bret, Owen, Bruce, and Keith Hart) vs. Shawn Michaels & 3 Mystery Knights
3. Doink x 4 vs. Bam Bam Bigelow, Bastion Booger, the Head Shrinkers
4. Ramon/The Kid/Jannetty/Mr. Perfect vs. Schyster/Martel/Diesel/Adam Bomb
5. Non-Sanctioned SMW Tag Titles: The Rock n' Roll Express vs. The Heavenly Bodies
- This Weekend on SuperStars... Bam Bam Bigelow has just won another squash match, but his post-match celebration is interrupted by Doink on the early-days Titantron screen. Doink goofs around then introduces his partners Doink, Doink, and Doink. Obviously it's the same guy filmed 4 different times with the same bucket. Bigelow, the genius he is, yells at the screen like Doink can hear him. Oh well, at least he didn't get bitched up in a verbal debate with a doll like Rick Steiner.
- WWF World Championship Match:
Yokozuna © (w/ Mr. Fuji) vs. Bret "Hitman" Hart:
It's the long awaited WrestleMania IX Rematch for the World Title, and this time I don't think Hulk Hogan will run in after the match and win the title from the new champion 124 seconds after the new champion beat the old one. McMahon and Heenan are back for the final match of the broadcast, and hopefully Bret has his working boots on, otherwise this one will be long and boring. Yokozuna doesn't have Jim Cornette with him, which makes me sad. Hart attacks Yokozuna from behind with roundhouse rights, rocking the giant champion. Hart comes off the ropes with a cross body, but Yokozuna casually slams him. Yokozuna misses an elbow drop (has he ever hit that?), and Hart dropkicks Yokozuna out of the ring. Yokozuna staggers around and accidentally bops himself on the ring post. Bobby Heenan claims he knows who the 3 Knights are, then gives a run-around speech to avoid telling us. Hart crotches Yokozuna as he comes back into the ring and applies a sleeper hold. Yokozuna snap-mares Hart off, but the pounding continues. Yokozuna no-sells again and floors Hart with a clothesline. Yokozuna drops an elbow across the throat of Hart and rams him into the turnbuckle. Yokozuna floors Hart with a headbutt then stomps him out of the ring, giving Mr. Fuji a chance to earn that paycheck. We come back from a commercial with Hart fighting off Yokozuna in with big rights. Yokozuna goes down to one knee, but takes Hart out with a blow to the throat. Snapmare by Yokozuna, and it's time for the vulcan neck pinch, a traditional move used by the Samoans. Hart eventually fights back to his feet, but Yokozuna casually dumps him over the top rope. Yokozuna follows out, and gets rammed into the ring steps for his troubles. Referee Earl Hebner is distracted by Fuji as Yokozuna smacks Hart across the back of his head with a steel chair. He's Hardcore! He's Hardcore! He's Hardcore! We take another break... We come back again with Yokozuna beating the tar out of Hart in the corner. Hart comes back winning a slugfest, but Yokozuna wisely side steps a dropkick and drops a fat-assed leg to squeeze some of the grease out of Hart's hair. Yokozuna plays some stalling by pretending the U.S. flag in the front row bothers him. Yokozuna chokes Hart in the corner, and you can tell Yokozuna is gassed. I don't recall many matches going this long, and since we had two commercial breaks, we are past the 16 minute mark if I kept them. Yokozuna misses the avalanche in the corner, giving Hart a chance to fight back. He nails a series of clotheslines, and the Hart Attack version drops Yokozuna for a two count. Bret lays out Fuji on the apron, then comes off the second rope only to be caught in a bear-hug. Hart escapes by biting away on Yokozuna. Hart with a punt of Yokozuna's face and comes off the middle rope with a bulldog for a 2.9999999 count. Bret to the ropes again and he comes off with an elbow drop for another two count. Crowd chants "USA", but Bret Hart is Canadian, so it makes no sense. Hart ducks under a clothesline, but jumps into a belly-to-belly suplex. Yokozuna is sucking wind like Scott Steiner at the 2003 Royal Rumble now, but he has an excuse (he's really big). Yokozuna bounces off the ropes and misses a splash. Hart takes advantage of Yokozuna's fallen situation and applies the Sharpshooter! Out comes Owen Hart for no reason other than to run-in. Mr. Fuji has the salt bucket and clobbers Bret with it behind the referee's back, which triggers Owen to comes in the ring to beat on Yokozuna with the bucket, drawing the DQ, and giving Yokozuna the match at 15:42. ** Pretty good match on Yokozuna's scale, but nothing special for Bret Hart. When Bret was in control, the match was going at a lightning quick pace, barely giving me time to keep up, but when Yokozuna was in the drivers seat... it's really bad. Also booking such a long match made Yokozuna winded, and the WrestleMania matches with Bret Hart going barely 10 minutes each shows that. The finish sucked, but you couldn't put the title on Bret here (Luger was still penciled in), and Bret couldn't take the fall either, so we got the un decisive finish.
- We wrap things up with both broadcast teams running down the card and giving their opinions on what will happen. Gorilla Monsoon makes threats at Bobby Heenan, which gives Bobby a chance to tell Monsoon to eat some bananas and makes fun of Jim Ross for not knowing what indoor plumbing is. Oh, and we get a special Thanksgiving Men on a Mission rap. Sadly, I didn't cut the tape her,e but thankfully, I do have the fast forward button, so I skip like I've never skipped before.
The Report Card: Not to sound like an old bitter person (I'm probably younger than everyone reading this), but I miss the days where getting a bunch of low-card matches and a main event was a special thing. Back in my days, we were lucky to get ONE feature match per episode of Superstars and Challenge, and if you didn't get the USA Network, you got jack shit else. While not the best collection of matches, for it's time, it holds a certain quality to itself that still holds up to those who liked the days when we didn't see every combination of matches 600 times.
Final Grade: B-
If you can find a copy of this show, Jannetty/Schyster is pretty good for television standards, but if you aren't the type who likes a lot of holds and needs 500 pointless high spots, the show is not for you. Hart/Yokozuna was as good of a match as you could expect from them (probably better in some cases), and Virgil/Crush did it's job that Crush is evil and will cheat at every chance. The only downside is Doink/Booger, but I'm sure some sicko's would enjoy that match. My copy for this tape isn't the greatest, but if anyone's interested, you know what to do.