- Since I'm really bored, and the tape is only about 55 minutes, I thought I'd do a quickie review of an old Coliseum Video. It's been said often that the World Tour series of tapes (and it's cousins Best of the WWF Vol. 16: Around the World and Global Warfare) are some of the worst of the Coliseum Video run, and it's not too hard to understand that considering the shit from the 1991 and 1992 editions alone. This version is one of those cheap tapes released for $9.95 featuring some reject matches and recycled crap from other tapes.
- WWF Hasbro Wrestling Figures commercial, featuring Randy Savage, Mr. Perfect, Sgt. Slaughter, The Undertaker, and more people. The figures highlighted seems to be the third set, including Koko B. Ware, Greg Valentine, The British Bulldog, The Dragon (not Ricky Steamboat!), the Texas Tornado, Bret Hart, Sgt. Slaughter, Mr. Perfect, Typhoon, The Undertaker, and new versions of Hulk Hogan, Randy Savage, Big Boss Man and Brutus Beefcake. Don't forget new Tag Team Figure sets of the Legion of Doom and the Nasty Boys!
- "Texas Tornado" Kerry Von Erich vs. Ric Flair:
Taped from Barcelona, Spain during a tour of Europe in October of 1991. Commentary is being done by Sean Mooney and Lord Alfred Hayes, and we already hear stupid shit about this being for the World Title, despite this being taped when Hogan was the champion, and Flair doesn't have any WWF belt with him. Old school fans will remember these two trading off the NWA World Title back in 1984 following the death of one of Kerry's brothers. The quality of this match depends on two things... how much can Von Erich go, and how many mind altering drugs did I take to believe Flair really is the best wrestler ever. Crowd is jacked for this one. Feeling out process by both men, and a lockup sees Tornado shove Flair across the ring to a big pop. Lockup #2 goes into the corner, and Tornado does the same. Knucklelock goes into a Flair wristlock, but Tornado counters, hammers away on the left arm of Flair, and bars the arm. Tornado turns it back into a wristlock, but it's broken in the corner. Flair with a standing side headlock, and Tornado counters out with an overhead wristlock. Tornado drops a leg across the arm of Flair, and bars the arm again. Flair escapes in the corner and chops the skin off of Tornado's chest. Flair hammers on Tornado a bit and dumps him out of the ring, but Tornado is back in with a sunset flip. Flair blocks that with a short right, and follows with a snapmare and knee drop for the first two count. Flair goes for another knee drop, but Tornado rolls away and quickly applies the Figure Four (Dusty Rhodes style aplication)! Flair quickly makes it to the ropes to break the hold, and now begs him off from the corner. Tornado with mounted punches in the corner. Irish whip to the corner and Tornado comes charging with a clothesline. Flair rolls to the apron, but is quickly taken back in with a suplex, and that gets a two count. Flair with a poke of the eyes (finally), and now they exchange blows in the corner, with Tornado coming out on top of that. Irish whip to the corner, but Tornado kisses the steel on a charge attempt. Flair drags Tornado to the outside, where he works Tornado over. After a little bit of stalling, Flair snapmares Tornado across the top rope, but Tornado seems to be no-selling it. Flair does it again, and this time stomps away at Tornado in the corner. Choking from Flair... WITH AUTHORITY! Flair and Danny Davis get into a shoving fight, and that might be the only face pop Davis ever got (naturally, Mooney nor Hayes remember that Danny Davis was a wrestler). Flair goes back to working over the Tornado. Chops in the corner from Flair, followed by a snapmare. Flair covers (with feet on the ropes, of course), but it only gets a series of two counts. Flair gets pissy and yells at the crowd, gives a "WHOO!", allowing Tornado to recover. Tornado with a series of rights in the corner, and the whip to the corner leads to Flair rolling up the ropes, run the apron, climb the top rope, and jump into the VON ERICH CLAW~~! Flair manages to escape with a back suplex... then falls face first to the canvas. Tornado quickly grabs a headlock, then puts Flair down with a shoulder block. Tornado comes off the ropes, and Flair catches him in a Sleeper Hold. Tornado's arm drops twice but not thrice, and it's time for the comeback! Shoulders to the midsection, followed by a shoulder block. Flair puts Tornado down again coming off the ropes, this time with a big chop. Irish whip, and Tornado counters a hip toss with a back slide for a two count. Tornado pulls a Sting and no sells a big chop in the corner. Tornado pounds the crap out of Flair in the corner and hip tosses him across the ring. Flair begs, pokes the eyes, and runs to the outside, where Tornado catches him and rams Flair into the security rail. Back into the ring we go... Flair whips Tornado to the corner, Whoo's, and gets clotheslined down. Flair rakes the eyes and goes to the top rope again, and gets slammed off. Tornado calls for the end, and the Tornado Punch connects... but Flair is in the ropes at the count of two. Tornado clotheslines Flair over the top rope and to the floor. Flair is back up on the apron with a shoulder into the midsection of Tornado. He slingshots himself in through the ropes, covers Tornado, and uses the ropes for added leverage to pick up the victory at 15:16. Damn, I hate that finish. *** I give Flair shit all of the time for being slightly overrated, but this was a pretty good match. However, I won't say it was a carry job, since Von Erich looked more motivated here than I've seen him in most other matches during his WWF run, which could contribute to the goodness of the match... is goodness a word? Anyway, for a Coliseum Video exclusive, this was pretty good, and given plenty of time to work out, since most CV Exclusives tend to go only about 10 minutes. This was my only reason for getting this tape, so it's all downhill from here.
- The British Bulldog & Legion of Doom vs. The Nasty Boys & The Mountie:
I believe this was taped in Munich, Germany during the tour of Europe following WrestleMania VIII. Sadly, we don't get the Mountie's kick ass theme music, since the heels entrances aren't shown. I have very little confidence in this match being any good, since pretty much everyone in it either sucked or was already past their prime. A glimps at the banner hanging above the ring looks like it says European Rampage, so I guess that was the name of this particular show the match came from. Animal and Knobbs start after some stalling. Animal wins a shoving match, and beats the crap out of Knobbs until he falls out of the ring. Back in the ring, and Knobbs with wild blows to work over Animal. Irish whip, and Animal comes off the ropes with a clothesline. Sags runs in to get dropped by Hawk, and the Mountie runs when Bulldog comes in. The Mountie tags in now, and calls the Bulldog a chicken. Now that I think about, I wonder if Davey Boy and Jacques had some heat with each other, considering the incident between Dynamite and the Rougeaus back a few years previous. Bulldog tags in, and we get more stalling. Mountie boots Bulldog in the midsection a few times, but is caught in a press slam off of a reversed Irish whip. Bulldog with a standing side headlock, followed by a headbutt as the Mountie tried out smarting him. Hawk and Sags are in the ring now, and the crowd chants for the obvious choice. Lockup into the corner, and Sags with some cheap shots. Hawk no sells (of course) and nearly knocks the shirt off of Sags with his chops. Irish whip is reversed, and Sags catches a boot of Hawk... who counters with an enziguri! A game of cat and mouse leads to Hawk being worked over by Sags. Irish whip, and Hawk comes back again with a reverse neck breaker. Knobbs comes in and Hawk slams both Nasty Boys into the canvas face first. Really boring and all over the place match. Hawk posts his shoulder on a charge, finally giving us the heel heat segment. The bad guys triple team Hawk at some points, doing nothing of note other than punch-kick-punch-kick. Mountie applies a reverse chinlock, which gives a chance for Hawk to make the big comeback. More heel working over Hawk, and this match, just like Matt Hardy, won't die! Animal gets the hot tag and nails some dropkicks (and pretty good ones too) on all the heels. Diving shoulder tackle to Sags, and Bulldog comes in to give a double clothesline to Knobbs. Bulldog with a horrible delay suplex, and it's a pier-six brawl. LOD whip Knobbs into the Bulldog, and the running powerslam ends it at 12:25. Blech... 1/2* Fucking mess of a match, but the hot finish saves it from being an official stinker in the ratings department. I guess I should be thankful that I was able to fast forward pretty much the entire match and not miss much of anything.
- WWF Intercontinental Championship Match:
Bret "Hitman" Hart © vs. "The Model" Rick Martel:
Now we're in the Sheffield Arena and probably from the UK Rampage '92 event. I won't get too excited for this match, mainly because Hart wasn't usually in full kick-ass mode for these Coliseum Video matches, and Martel usually thought "gimmick first, good match second", considering almost everything he did from 1989-1993. Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby Heenan are on commentary (thus confirming it's from the UK show), so that's a plus for this match. Crowd is really into Hart, and that's another plus... these british fans will be pumped for everything. Lockup to start goes nowhere, so they circle each other and try again. Martel with a series of knees to the midsection, but an Irish whip is reversed, and Martel works in the cartwheel counter to break the match up. Lockup into the ropes, and some jackass has that horn thing to get the crowd to chant. Martel with a cheap shot in the corner, followed by some roundhouse rights. Irish whip, and Martel with a boot to the midsection. Hart blocks a roll up attempt and drops Martel with a series of clotheslines, sending him running to the outside. Back inside the ring, and Martel quickly goes to a front facelock. Hart escapes by applying a wristlock, but Martel is quick on the move and puts Hart down with a clothesline. Martel applies a front facelock again. Same reversal, and this time Hart ducks the clothesline and nails his own. Hart teases the sharpshooter, but simply stomps Martel like a bitch. Irish whip to the corner is reversed, but Martel misses a charge, hurting his knee in the process. Hart kicks his leg from under his leg and tries to tear the knee out. Hart jerks Martel back to the middle of the ring and scissors the leg. Hart drops a leg across the knee of Martel, and applies a spinning toe hold. Martel kicks Hart off to the ropes, but gets taken down with a hip toss. Hart takes Martel down again, and goes back to working the knee. Martel kicks Hart off again, with Hart eating the turnbuckle in the process. Martel hammers away at the back of Hart, but Hart punches the knee of Martel to get the momentum going again. Martel escapes a leg scissors with choking. Martel does a little dance... oh wait, he's selling my bad. Hart continues to not give Martel anything, using an atomic knee drop. Hart tries wraping Martel's leg around the steel post, but Martel finally gets the advantage and makes Hart eat some instead. Martel rams the lower back of Hart into the ring post, and slowly works him over. Irish whip to the corner, but Hart doesn't do the chest-first bump at 338 mph. Martel with a series of elbows across the back of Hart. Irish whip, and Hart comes back with a boot to the face. Martel is back up first though... and Hart jumps up to show he was playing possum, and it's the "five moves of doom" time. Side russian leg sweep gets a two count. Snap suplex gets a two count. Side back breaker and second rope elbow drop gets a two count. Irish whip, and a roll up attempt has Hart spilling to the outside. Martel with a suplex attempt from the apron, but the roll up doesn't work again. Hart with an inside cradle out of nowhere wins it at 13:02. That really was a bit out of nowhere. ** To quote someone else, this was perfectly acceptable wrestling, although a bit on the boring side, with both men working over the other where it would lead to their respective finishing moves (the Sharpshooter and Boston Crab), but the surprise ending didn't factor any of that in. You could make a case that working off the knee prevented Martel from kicking out a bit more, but that's grasping for straws.
- The Bushwackers vs. The Beverly Brothers (w/ The Genius):
According to the Coliseum Video graphic, this match is taped from somewhere in Canada... and oh joy, it's a fucking Bushwackers match, and on top of that, it's against the Beverly Brothers. Excuse me while I go hang myself with a tongue... I mean tie. Gorilla Monsoon and Alfred Hayes are on commentary. We have name graphics on the screen, which makes me think this was pulled from an episode of PrimeTime Wrestling (which explains the Gorilla/Hayes combo). Beau Beverly quickly starts the match by beating up Butch, but he misses a charge to the corner. Both Bushwackers work over both Beverly's, and the marching morons celebrate. Blake Beverly and Luke are the legal men now. They exchange blows, and Blake puts Luke down with a weak back breaker. Luke rolls out of an elbow drop attempt, but Blake runs to the outside. The Bushwackers again clean house of both men, and even nail the double stomach buster (their other finisher), but no count since all hell is breaking loose. Luke quickly is a victim of a beating. We get the old hot tag that doesn't count since the referee didn't see it spot. Really shitty match, and I'm just phoning it in now to get this tape done with. Butch eventually gets the hot tag and cleans the clocks of both Beverly Brothers. Battering ram to Beau, but Blake breaks the pin... wait, reverse that, it was Blake being pinned. Butch gets tripped up by Beau, and Blake nails a shitty elbow drop for the victory at 6:05. What is this, the Survivor Series? DUD Shitty match as you would expect from these two teams with maybe 2 moves that weren't a punch and kick, and all around sloppy and rather light work (almost everything look liked it missed by a good few inches). At least it was kept reasonably short. Not painless, but short.
Final Thoughts: A 2 out of 4 average for a quick hour tape from Coliseum Video isn't too bad. The good isn't that great though, and the bad is pretty bad. Hart/Martel is available else where (on World Tour '92), so I'd only really recommend this tape if you're interested in the only match between Flair and Von Erich in the WWF (unless you count their brief scuffle during the '92 Rumble Match), or are a mark for shitty tag team matches. Thumbs in the middle, leaning down on this one.
The BushWackers got a shout out on ESPNNEWS today.
Some guy introing the next segment: The Bushwackers were a tag team in the old WWF, but now its a whole new thing.
He then said something about Nascar/Busch Racing, and I don't know a goddam thing about it, and wouldn't have a clue where he was going with it.
Minutes later while I watched the North Carolina-Boston College game, Dicky V said shitty play by play dude a little exchange:
Dicky V: Ohhhhh, their all tangled up! Its like WWF out there. Wrestlemania BABY!! Is Hulk Hogan still wrestlin'!
PBP: I'm pretty sure he's retired.
Dicky V: (obviously stunned by the lack of play-along) Oh....well he'd love this match going on here today.
PBP: (trying to make it less awkward, but sounding stupid) Of course in that business you can go till your 80, all depending on how they write the script.
Jesus, what is this? 1990? Who the hell takes "wrestling is fake" shots anymore???