WWF: The Ultimate Warrior (1989 Coliseum Video)
- Well, I already sat through three hours worth of Warrior talk and matches, so what's another 80 minutes? I already lost my sanity weeks ago when I reviewed Heroes of Wrestling, so anything on here will be a major improvement.
- First we get some Warrior commercials from Hell. The first being his "Say no to cigarettes" one, where he appears to be eating the cigarettes instead of crumpling them up. The second is a Slim Jim commercial, where he, you guessed it, spouts off random comments about Slim Jims. Jim Ross was right... he really does need subtitles. We get an opening montage of Warrior in action, and your host is the insane one himself. Occasionally, he'll randomly pop up to comment about the match coming up, but I'll generally ignore them.
- The Ultimate Warrior vs. Hercules:
From the February 7th, 1988 episode of Wrestling Challenge. Backstage is Bobby Heenan giving Hercules a pep talk. For some reason, Vince McMahon is on commentary. I'm surprised because he only did Superstars and Saturday Night's Main Event at the time, and rarely ever did commentary on any other broadcast. They go nose-to-nose, so Hercules does some posing. Warrior returns the posing, then backs Hercules off a bit. Hercules wents a tug-of-war with his chain, and Warrior accepts. Hercules' chain looks a bit thinner than usual. They tug away with the chain, and after a bit of that, Warrior yanks hard and the chain breaks in half! (This was mentioned during their match at WrestleMania IV) Hercules clotheslines Warrior with the remains of his chain, drawing the Disqualification at 1:57, then chokes him down. We're having a good old fassion hanging, me thinks! Hercules shoves off several referees until the Job Squad (including Steve Lombardi) pull him off. Lombardi doesn't look over the Warrior like the others two do, though. DUD No match, but it served it's purpose to build up for WrestleMania's meaningless match. Warrior decides to stop selling now and attacks Warrior in the aisle.
- WWF Intercontinental Championship Match:
The Honkytonk Man © (w/ Jimmy Hart) vs. The Ultimate Warrior:
Copy and Paste Time! Yeah, it should really read Mystery Opponent, but we all know who it is, so let's not play games. From SummerSlam '88 (from Madison Square Garden), with Gorilla Monsoon and Superstar Billy Graham on commentary (filling in for Jesse Ventura, who was busy being a referee that night). Honkytonk Man is scheduled to face Brutus Beefcake, but Ron Bass took him out a few weeks before the show, so Honky offers an open challenge... and of course, the Warrior answers it. He rushes the ring and hammers away on the Honkytonk Man. Scoop slam by Warrior, followed by a diving shoulder tackle. Warrior runs around like an idiot, clothesline Honky out of his boots, and splashes him for the IC Title, and ending Honky's 15-months reign in 31 seconds! DUD Not much of a match, but the crowd popped fucking huge, and this, sadly, was the Honkytonk's swan song from credibility, as he was put on the JOB Squad following the program with Warrior until being teamed with Valentine as Rhythm & Blues and then departing from the company in January 1991.
WWF-Intercontinental Championship Match: The Ultimate Warrior © vs. The Honky Tonk Man (w/ Jimmy Hart):
Copy and Paste Time Part II! From the January 7th, 1989 Saturday Night's Main Event. In a commentary that pisses me off, BOTH Jesse and Vince declare that no one has ever repeated as Intercontinental Champion, although two men did, and one of them is in the next match! For those who don't know, I mean Tito Santana, who defeated the Magnificent Muraco, lost it to Greg Valentine, then won it back in a Steel Cage Match. Another match featured on Coliseum Video, this time on the 1989 Ultimate Warrior tape. Warrior hammers on Honky outside the ring, then press slams him from the aisle and carries him back into the ring. Warrior with a leap frog over Honky, followed by a big boot to the face. Warrior rams both Honky and Jimmy Hart into each other, and continues having a coke fit. Irish whip and Warrior with a back elbow. Warrior with a choke lift, followed by mounted punches in the corner. Irish whip to the corner, and Warrior actually nails the charging shoulder block. Irish whip to the opposite corner, and this time Warrior misses an avalanche. Jimmy distracts the referee as Honky connects with a series of blows to the midsectyion with the Megaphone. Honky works over Warrior some more with blows into the chest, then does some playing to the crowd. Jimmy Hart gets some cheap blows in as well as Honky distracts the referee. Honky pounds away on the Warrior in the corner, but he 'Roids Up and slams Honky, but misses an elbow drop. Warrior blocks being rammed into the buckle, and sends Honky into it instead (8 times). Warrior with a clothesline, but he splashes the knees of Honky, allowing Honky to cover for a two count. Honky tries a clothesline, but it ends up knocking himself down. Warrior off the ropes, and he nails the diving shoulder tackle for the victory at 4:48. * Quick and inoffensive match from two people I rarely have anything good to say about when it comes to their actual work-rate. Honky's Job Tour '89 kicks off!
- WWF Intercontinental Championship Match:
The Ultimate Warrior © vs. Greg "The Hammer" Valentine (w/ Jimmy Hart):
From the February 3rd, 1989 "Main Event" TV Taping, and I'm pretty sure this on an episode of PrimeTime Wrestling, but don't quote me on that. Tony Schiavone and Lord Alfred Hayes on the commentary for this one. Warrior starts the match by knocking down Valentine, then goes after Hart outside the ring (without megaphone or glasses). Valentine comes from behind, but Warrior no sells. Jimmy mounts Warrior, but gets thrown into the ring for his troubles. Valentine blasts Warrior with his Hart-Breaker shin-guard behind the referee's back, and drops an elbow for a one count. Valentine with a series of elbows, followed by a kick to the midsection. Warrior comes back by ramming Valentine into the turnbuckle a few times. Scoop slam by Warrior, but he misses an elbow drop. Valentine drops an elbow for a two count. Valentine with a snapmare from out of the corner, then heads up to the top rope. He comes off with a sledge across the neck of Warrior, but Warrior comes back with an ugly face buster (ugly enough that Schiavone stifles a laugh). Warrior with a clothesline, followed by a diving shoulder tackle. Jimmy Hart uses the Hart-Breaker on Warrior now, but the referee doesn't call a DQ. Warrior press slams Jimmy onto Valentine, then clotheslines Valentine with the shin guard for the tainted victory at 3:45. * Same explanation as the last match. Short and inoffensive. I don't know why he needed to cheat to win though, considering Warrior was on the Superman Push Tour, and Valentine was rapidly losing a role of importance.
- WWF Intercontinental Championship Match:
The Ultimate Warrior © vs. King Haku:
Taped from the Los Angeles Sports Arena, but I don't remember the PrimeTime Wrestling broadcast date. Superstar Billy Graham and that Tronguard guy on commentary. Haku cheap shots Warrior and works him over in the corner. Irish whip, but Haku runs into the boot of Warrior. He comes off the ropes with a cross body press for a two count. Haku rakes the eyes, but a shoulder block does nothing. Warrior leap frogs Haku and takes him over with a hip toss. Warrior misses an elbow drop, then Haku misses a leg drop. Warrior with an atomic drop, followed by some chops. Irish whip to the corner, and Warrior misses a charge. Haku stomps away at the fallen champion, and snapmares him over, then applies the Tongan Death Grip of Doom. Warrior gets back to his feet and sends Haku into the turnbuckle, but shouldn't that not hurt Haiku? Warrior with a mounted position, but Haku escapes with an inverted atomic drop (called a "Reverse Piledriver" by Tronguard). Haku scoops up Warrior for a shoulder breaker, but it only gets a two count. Haku works over the neck of Warrior again, then goes back to the death grip thing again. Warrior battles back up again, and escapes with elbows to the midsection. Warrior drops Haku with a shoulder block, followed by a scoop slam. Warrior goes for the splash, but he meets the knees. Haku with more of those nerve pinches, meaning Warrior is doing better carrying this job. Haku with a scoop slam, and now he splashes the knees. Warrior starts shaking the ropes, meaning the end is near... Warrior with a clothesline, shoulder tackle, suplex, and splash ends Haku's night at 7:16. 3/4* Not too good of a match, but I expected negative stars from this one. I'll admit though that it wasn't too bad to watch, but when it comes to rating the quality, it's not too good.
- The Ultimate Warrior vs. "Macho Man" Randy Savage:
Champion vs. Champion, but I don't think any of the titles are on the line. Schiavone and Hayes are back on commentary. To go with my theory, the referee doesn't hold up the belts, and simply gives them to the ring attendant during the entrances, which is a good sign the titles aren't defended here. Savage attacks Warrior to start, but gets dropped with a roundhouse right. Irish whip is reversed, and Warrior shoulder tackles Savage out of the ring. Savage smack talks with some fans in the front row until Warrior cleans his clock again. Warrior press slams him back into the ring. Savage rolls back out again, then back in to catch Warrior coming after him. Irish whip is reversed, and Savage with a boot to the face. Savage goes to the top rope, and he comes off for a cross body, but Warrior catches him and ties Savage in the tree of woe for some stomping. Savage tries another sneak attack, but Warrior catches him coming in and works him over. Irish whip to the corner, and Warrior misses a charge. Savage with a running high knee sends Warrior through the ropes, then comes off the top rope with a double axehandle. Savage rams Warrior into a steel chair at ringside, and goes back into the ring. Savage hangs Warrior across the top rope, then chokes away for a two count. Savage applies a reverse chinlock for about a second, then drops a knee across the throat of Warrior for another two count. Back to the chinlock. Savage continues working in between quick pins and chinlocks for another minute or so. Warrior escapes with elbows to the midsection, but Savage nails him with the diving clothesline for a two count. Savage heads up top, and a double axehnadle gets another two count. Savage tries for a suplex, but Warrior blocks and takes him over with his own for a two count. We see Rick Rude come to ringside as Warrior rams Savage into the buckle a few times. Rude poses a lot, trying to distract the Warrior, but it doesn't work. Warrior with an atomic drop for a two count. Savage rolls up Warrior as he argues with the referee, but that only gets two. Warrior puts Savage down again, but splashes the knees. Savage works over Warrior for about 20 seconds, but Warrior is shaking the ropes. Warrior floors Savage with several rights and clotheslines, then goes after Rude outside the ring. Savage comes off the top with a double axehandle, rolls back in, and this allows Savage to pick up the win by count-out at 8:19. Cheap... *1/2 Not one of their best matches, but this was untelevised, so I didn't expect Savage to do a miracle carry job with Warrior here. Rude and Savage celebrate in the ring until Warrior comes in to clean house again.
- Super Posedown Challenge:
The Ultimate Warrior vs. "Ravishing" Rick Rude (w/ Bobby Heenan):
Copy and Paste Part III. From the 1989 Royal Rumble. I'm even going to waste my time by going into detail here. Mean Gene Okerlund is the MC on the contest, which everyone should know the result of before it even happens. Rick Rude actually does the poses better, with Warrior tripping over his feet half of the time, but since he's a babyface, the crowd cheers him and boos Rude. After about twenty minutes of this garbage, Rick Rude has had enough and smashes Warrior over the head with a workout bar he has been using in between poses, and chokes the bastard out afterwards. The Warrior finally comes to, and beats up everything walking, which is basically a bunch of shitty referees and backstage agents. This would get the worst rating possible for wasting so much time. After looking it over, the entire thing lasted 16:30, which was even longer than the opening match (of the PPV)!
- WWF-Intercontinental Championship Match:
The Ultimate Warrior © vs. "Ravishing" Rick Rude (w/ Bobby Heenan):
Copy and Paste Part IV: The Final Chapter. From WrestleMania V, one of the most overrated of all the WrestleMania's (as well as the 4th). Rude tries a sneak attack before the match, but knees the belt around the Warriors waist, and gets pummeled by the champion. Warrior throws Rude into the corner several times like a rag doll. Irish whip to the corner at 71 mph, and he does the same to the opposite side of the ring. Warrior applies a bearhug, but Rude is able to escape. He comes off the top with a cross body press, but Warrior kicks out fast and slams Rude down several times. Warrior goes back to work on the back of Rude, applying another bearhug. Irish whip, and Warrior with a back body drop, but he meets the knees of Rude on a splash attempt. Rude hammers away on the Warrior with severall boots to the midsection, followed by a jumping piledriver for an eventual two count. Rude connects with a jaw breaker and does his hip giration while selling a back injury. Irish whip, and Rude takes Warrior down with a clothesline for another two count. Rude connects with a Russian leg sweep for a two count again, and applies a modified surfboard submission. Warrior tards-up, and bounces off the ropes with a diving shoulder tackle. Rude gets his face slammed into the canvas several times, and the Warrior connects with a back breaker, then trips over his own feet. Irish whip, and Warrior with a clothesline, then rams Rude into the buckle. Irish whip to the corner, and Rude gets sent into the corner with a shoulder block. Warrior tries another charge, but eats the buckle instead. Rude goes for the Rude Awakening, but Warrior breaks the move and drops Rude with a clothesline. Outside the ring they go for some more "action". Warrior tries a suplex from the apron, but Heenan sweeps the leg from under him, and Rude covers for three at 9:41 to become the NEW Intercontinental Champion! * Match was dog shit, but better dog shit than most of Warriors shitty-ass matches from... well, his entire career. This was Warriors first pinfall loss in the WWF. After the match, Heenan takes a beating, and gets press slammed (and dropped on his face) for his troubles.
- The tape rounds off with highlights from several rematches, the first being at the April 22nd, 1989 Boston Garden event (first 4 minutes shown), and the second from the event held at the Meadowlands Arena on May 8th, 1989. Only about two minutes shown from this as well. Schiavone and Hayes were on commentary at both. What a waste of time... they could've just put 1 of the full matches instead of splitting up 2 by showing Warrior squash Rude for all of them. Poor editing by WWE. I expected something like this from WCW, not them.
Final Thoughts: While none of the matches were what I considered any good, none of them really came across as bad, and are somewhat enjoyable to watch on a rainy day. If you can find the tape for cheap, I say go for it, as long as you know what you're getting into, but I wouldn't go out of my way to get a copy of this. Thumbs in the Middle, leaning up on the 1989 Warrior Coliseum Video.