Title: WWE Juniors Division
Big F'N Swigg - October 16, 2005 04:14 PM (GMT)
| QUOTE (WWE.com) |
The Juniors Are Coming!
Oct. 15, 2005
In an unprecedented collaboration, network executive Palmer Canon and SmackDown General Manager Theodore Long announced today the introduction of a new WWE wrestling division exclusive to Friday Night SmackDown: The Juniors.
The Juniors Division will be comprised of world-class athletes at or below 5 feet tall. “Midgets, dwarves, the little people; they’re all welcome,” said Long. “We don’t discriminate against anybody on my show, as long as they can bring it.”
“The network believes there’s big ratings and big excitement in the new Juniors Division," Canon added. "I think fans will be shocked at what these tiny, but very talented, competitors can add to the already incredibly gifted roster here on Friday Night SmackDown.”
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The Tolands will dominate
Scrooge McSuck - October 16, 2005 04:15 PM (GMT)
I can see the big feud of the division... Jamie Noble vs. Kid Kash, with Rey Misterio as a special referee.
Big F'N Swigg - October 16, 2005 04:29 PM (GMT)
Why is it that WWE always reverts to gimmicks to try and get people to watch?
Scrooge McSuck - October 16, 2005 04:30 PM (GMT)
Because McMahon thinks it's 1989, and everyone that works for him is a butt-kissing yes man? Or maybe it's WWE making fun of TNA's X-Division. I wouldn't past McMahon to do stupid shit like that.
jamiegeist - October 16, 2005 04:44 PM (GMT)
Just wait till he hangs cables 6 feet off the ring and has them climbing to the middle to retrieve a giant "J". Then we'll know his real motivation.
Mad Dog - October 16, 2005 11:38 PM (GMT)
It would be a travesty if the Tolands got stuck doing midget matches.
whitemilesdavis - October 17, 2005 02:33 AM (GMT)
At or below 5' tall? So are they really starting a midget division?
Big F'N Swigg - October 17, 2005 02:37 AM (GMT)
prof_plague - October 17, 2005 03:46 AM (GMT)
The best thing that could happen is that they bring back Max Mini. But the WWE wouldn't want him to show-up Rey-Rey.
They should bring in Meatball. Former two time MWF Heavyweight champion - he's 4'8" and 250 pounds.
Wait, isn't Tank Toland is 5'8"? And Chad 5'9"?
Mad Dog - October 17, 2005 03:48 AM (GMT)
Yeah, they just looked really small on Smackdown this week.
dynamite kido - October 17, 2005 04:42 PM (GMT)
Am I the only one that sees the WWE turning smackdown into a fullblown Ringling Brothers any day now?
Scrooge McSuck - October 17, 2005 05:06 PM (GMT)
I knew they brought Doink the Clown back for a reason. :P
eStragand - October 17, 2005 05:17 PM (GMT)
| QUOTE (TheBigSwigg @ Oct 16 2005, 10:14 AM) |
| QUOTE (WWE.com) |
“Midgets, dwarves, the little people; they’re all welcome,” said Long. “We don’t discriminate against anybody on my show, as long as they can bring it.”
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Niiiiiice. We don't discriminate against anyone..least of all midgets, dwarves, little fuckers, smurfs, half-pints, or little people.
It doesn't necessarily mean "midget rasslers", though. CMLL and AAA has a bunch of junior guys. They're closer in stature to Rey Mysterio than they are to Max Mini. They have junior versions of La Parka, Octagon, Abismo Negro, etc. I think that Maximo guy would qualify. I don't think this particular "junior" niche has caught on in North America, yet.
whitemilesdavis - October 17, 2005 05:20 PM (GMT)
Even Rey is 5'3" though. Anybody much shorter than that would have to be a midget, right?
Scrooge McSuck - October 17, 2005 05:22 PM (GMT)
I think to be an official midget you have to be 4'5" or shorter, but I'm hardly a reliable source. It just sounds close to home.
whitemilesdavis - October 17, 2005 05:24 PM (GMT)
An "official midget"? Do they give you a badge or what?
Scrooge McSuck - October 17, 2005 05:27 PM (GMT)
I meant to be classified as a midget... but I think you should get a badge too, incase you meet someone who can't tell. :P
prof_plague - October 17, 2005 06:39 PM (GMT)
| QUOTE (Scrooge McSuck @ Oct 17 2005, 11:27 AM) |
| I meant to be classified as a midget... but I think you should get a badge too, incase you meet someone who can't tell. :P |
Badges with sound devices so that even blind people know.
Scrooge McSuck - October 17, 2005 07:13 PM (GMT)
Blind people could use midgets as seeing-eye dogs... I mean people. :P
Big F'N Swigg - October 18, 2005 01:20 AM (GMT)
| QUOTE (whitemilesdavis @ Oct 17 2005, 11:24 AM) |
| An "official midget"? Do they give you a badge or what? |
*rimshot*
Post of the day
eStragand - October 19, 2005 06:47 PM (GMT)
According to ol' Wikipedia:
| QUOTE |
| The word dwarf has generally replaced midget even for proportionally short people, and the term little person is also sometimes used. According to the Little People of America, the human definition of this term is stated as such "a medical or genetic condition that usually results in an adult height of 4'10" or shorter, among both men and women, although in some cases a person with a dwarfing condition may be slightly taller than that." |
4'10"..whew. I've wanted to bang the 5'2" Liz Phair for about 12 years now, and I'd feel awful if it had turned out that she qualified as a midget.
Scrooge McSuck - October 19, 2005 06:50 PM (GMT)
4'10" or shorter?! That means my fathers 1st wife was a dwarf! She was only 4'8"! AHAHAAH!
TheGreatWhiteChoate - October 19, 2005 07:24 PM (GMT)
This is the end of Smackdown. This absolutely blows, because I certainly haven't enjoyed RAW lately.
dynamite kido - October 19, 2005 07:37 PM (GMT)
Welcome to the land of the WWE. They thought the cruisers were too small................so they got smaller ones.
Scrooge McSuck - October 19, 2005 07:43 PM (GMT)
Only in WWE (and possibly mexico) could Midgets be pushed on the same level as a cruiserweight division.