No Introduction. I'm too fucking bored.

- Broadcast team as usual these days is Jim Ross, Jerry "The Pedophile" Lawler, and Jonathon "Mr. Charisma" Coachman.

- Mick Foley comes out, gets his cheap pop, making even me mark out for it, to introduce "Rowdy" Roddy Piper, who according to Mick, is in a new movie? Whatever he says... I guess Piper's Pit opens the show, judging by the ring set-up. Some jack-off in the front row has a very old "WCW" shirt on. The purple with yellow letters, for those that need a visual. Piper puts Foley over as a crazy bastard. Piper wants Foley to come back, but he needs a good reason. Piper gives him 12,000, and lesads a "Foley" chant. Out comes Bob Orton Jr. and his untalented son to interrupt. Bob Orton returns to Raw!!! Wait, did Orton ever appear on Raw to begin with? If Boreton RKO's Piper, I'm gonna be P.O'ed. I just remembered Bob Jr. and Piper had that friendship thing from 1984-86. I should've picked up on it earlier. Piper floors Orton after some trash talking, and they scuffle around on the ground before being seperated. RAPE! RAPE! RAPE! Bob Jr. sucker punches Foley, and Piper eats an RKO. Foley eats one as well. BOO~! Orton, of course, gets zero reaction for when he exits the ring. Surprise, Surprise.

- Highlights from Angle/HBK at Wrestlemania 21 and Vengeance. OH! Sweet Chin Music. *****~! Apparently the Ironman Match is coming up next...

- Backstage is Eric Bischoff (in his karate outfit thingy that I forgot the proper name of) and Theodore Long. Bischoff gets in Long's face, but Long denies it wasn't his idea to bring in the Orton's for tonights show. Bischoff makes threats incase Long has any funny business planned.

- 30 Minute Iron Man Match:
Shawn Michaels vs. Kurt Angle:
Oh boy, either way I go, I know I'm gonna get shit for the rating I give this match. Sometimes I question WWE's logic. "Oh, we need a big PPV feel match to draw fans to watch. Let's get one of our worst drawing champions and that guy we've booked as a joke for his entire career! That will surely make us more money! What do you mean we fired Jericho? Okay, bring me Kurt Angle instead." Excuse me while I get all the jokes I can out the window so I can pay attention to the match. Is it me, or does Angle have a mouthpiece in? Front row we see Harley Race, Jimmy Hart, Nikolai Volkoff who looks like he weighs 100 pounds soaking wet, Koko B. Ware, and others. I think I spoted Dr. Death too, making me mark like a bitch. Dig that anorexic pop for Shawn Michaels. Good job pushing those young stars WWE.

Fall #1: Michaels charges the ring and mounts Angle with punches. Chops in the corner by Michaels, and he slams Angle for a two count. More chops... just go to the fucking armbar you love to do for 20 minutes. Irish whip, and Michaels catches Angle with a swinging neck breaker for another two count. Angle gets dumped over the top rope, because they have to stretch for time in a 30 minute match. Michaels eventually rolls out for more chops, and is that THE AMERICAN DWEAM!? Oh yeah, daddy! Back inside, and Michaels heads UP TOP~! with a sledge, and that gets a two count. Angle with a boot to the midsection, followed by hard rights. The action goes to the corner, but Michaels applies a sleeper hold. Angle escapes with a back suplex, and Michaels sells like it's 40 minutes into the match. Too bad he can't sell like that 40 minutes into a match. Angle with a vicious european uppercut, followed by stomping to the receding hairline. High knee by Angle, and he mounts Michaels with some rights. Angle with a scoop slam for a two count. Angle goes to the reverse chinlock. Since this slows things down, why is Angle using that mouthpiece? Michaels humps his way back up and breaks the hold with a jaw breaker. Irish whip is reversed, but Michaels slams Angles face into the canvas. Angle charges, but takes a nasty ass face first somersault bump to the floor. Damn, that gets a point for the rating. Michaels with a baseball slide attempt, but Angle avoids it and nails the Angle Slam on the floor. I smell a cheap count-out... nevermind, Angle throws him back inside, because he knows Michaels will just kip up and no sell it anyway. Angle throws Michaels into the corner and stomps away. Michaels comes back with rights, but Angle powerbmbs him into the top turnbuckle! That gets a two count. I thought that was it. Silly me. Angle sets Michaels up on the top turnbuckle, but Michaels throws him off from a belly-to-belly suplex attempt. Angle falls into a certain position for the elbow drop, but to my surprise (pfft...) he no sells and Angle Slams HBK off for the three count at 8:11. Holy Crap! Michaels lost already?! CLEAN?!? I pegged this to be WrestleMania XII Part Deux.

Fall #2 (Angle 1, HBK 0): We come back from commercial break and Angle is still in control (and Michaels' bald spot is even more noticable). Angle goes to a reverse chinlock as we get a replay of the first fall finish. Michaels backs Angle into the corner to escape, and elbows him in the side of the face. Irish whip to the corner, and Michaels posts his left shoulder. Angle with a release german suplex for a two count. Angle beats on HBK and takes him over with a suplex for a two count. Michaels with even more chops in the corner. Irish whip is reversed, and Michaels gets whiplash on the impact. Angle Slam is countered with a sunset flip, but thats countered into the Ankle Lock. TAP BITCH! TAP BITCH! TAP BITCH! Michaels counters with a victory roll, and he takes the fall at 14:52. BOO! Go Angle!

Fall #3: (Angle 1, HBK 1): Michaels cradles Angle out of nowhere for a two count. Angle sends Michaels splling outside to kill 20-30 seconds. Angle rams Michaels into the ring steps. Back inside, and Angle covers for a two count. Body scissors applied by Angle. Wow, this hold is eating up a lot of time. Michaels turns it over and bites to break free. Angle boots him in the midsection, and a series of suplex blocks and counters leads into the Ankle Lock again! TAP! Michael kicks off, but Angle holds on! Grapevine it! Grapevine it! Angle hooks the leg, and HBK taps like the bitch he is at 18:45. WOO! Take that nancy boy! Way to go with holding on in that hold for a good minute. Even the Undertaker probably tapped out faster than that.

Fall #4: (Angle 2, HBK 1): Before we come back from the commercials, I get me something to drink, a bag of gummi bears (bouncing here and there and everywhere), and take a piss. We come back to Angle applying a spinning toe hold or whatever. Less than 8 minutes remaining, by the way. Michaels is acting gimpy and takes a pounding in the corner. Michaels chops #1059 and 1060. Angle with a leg sweep and elbow across the knee. Leg grapevine by Angle to slow down the match, which actually makes sense in this match. Michaels with a bitch slap in the corner, followed by MORE chops (jesus Shawn, learn a new way to transition between moves). Michaels with the diving forearm... oh, my god... HE SOLD THE ANKLE! HOLY CRAP! IT'S A MIRACLE! Michaels with a series of clotheslines, followed by a scoop slam. Shawn continues selling and goes UP TOP~! again. Elbow drop connects, and nails Sweety Chin Music for the three count at 25:15. No goofing around by tuning up the band... I liked that.

Fall #5 (Angle 2, HBK 2): Angle is down and out on the arena floor, and Michaels rolls out after him. Back into the ring, and Michaels continues chopping like a Lumberjack. Irish whip is reversed, and Michaels flips up in the corner. Angle Slam, but Michaels kicks out at two. BOO! That shoul've won a fall, easy. Angle with rights, but a kick to the face turns the tide. HBK counters another Angle Slam with a Tornado DDT, and both men are down again. Michaels rolls over with an arm across Angles chest, but that's only a 2.9999999 count. Both look gassed, or maybe both are selling really good. Angle runs 100 mph into a fist, and Michaels comes off the tip rop with a standing moonsault but ANGLE COUNTERS! ANKLE LOCK! HOLY CRAP! Michaels tries doing a funky rolling reversal, but Angle keeps it on. Leg grapevined again, and there's only 60 seconds left! Michaels tries everything he can, and escapes with 20 seconds! BOO! That should be the death hold! Angle applies again, but Michaels counters, sending Angle into the corner! Sweet Chin Music, but the time limit expires at a 1 count! So is this a tie?!? BOO!! Oh come the fuck on... Michaels wants the microphone, but does he have the saliva to talk? Yes he does... he wants more. He wants Sudden DEATH! Angle walks away... and keeps walking. Oh well, 2-2 Tie. ***3/4 I was going to go into the 4-Star zone for this, but that finish left me a little pissed off. They actually kept the pace going with very little resting, both sold incredibly well (amazing, isn't it?), and some transitions between big moves were awesome, most notabely from Angle. However, Michaels' nonstop chopping and no-selling the Ankle Lock for 2 minutes before tapping out doesn't leave a good flavor in my mouth. Michaels gives hugs to Dr. Death and Volkoff. DUGGAN! KOKO! MAE! MOOLAH!

- Fluff piece for John Cena. This gives me a chance to go get something else to drink, because watching that last 8 minutes drained me. (Commercial: USA is somehow going to air Scarface sunday at 7:30 pm)

- Lilian Garcia introduces.... KEVIN VON ERICH! Then we cut backstage to Vince McMahon. Bischoff wants his match to be a No Disqualification Match, but McMahon ponders the thought, and refuses. Bischoff gets in his face about being embarrassed as often as possible by McMahon. I love shoot comments that aren't supposed to be shoot comments. Bischoff even makes reference to the Warrior DVD, and calls Vince sick. GO BISCHOFF! Vince growls "Monday Night Raw" to a big pop.

- Lilian Garcia now introduces... from a pre-written card (he's strong, handsome, and has a big shlong), Mr. McMahon~! He also takes credit for creating Hulk Hogan (HA!), Steve Austin (HA!), and The Rock (maybe). Back on USA where things are Uncensored (Uncut and Uncooked). McMahon recalls February 8th, 1998...? I don't remember that, but apparently Vince McMahon beat up Austin that night. Crowd chants "Bullshit." McMahon's favorite Raw Moment it was and we see the highlight. Vince forgot this was in 1999 on the Saturday Night Raw. We now see... Steve Austin make his entrance! At least he's not going to stunner someone that I care about. McMahon kisses butt because Austin is God apparently. God damn this crowd and their "What!?!" chant. Austin drags this puppy down fast. How about bringing in Dr. D (not Steve Williams) to be Mr. Redneck? We get highlights of Austin assaulting McMahon in the hospital. BED PAN! BED PAN! BED PAN! More Footage... Austin kidnaps McMahon and makes him piss his pants with "Bang 3:16." One more clip, because it's a special Clip Show! Beer Truck incident leading up to WrestleMania XV. McMahon tries to what looks to be swim out of the ring. Those were the days... Austin goes into 2001 mode and asks McMahon if he wants to be Stone Cold's friend. McMahon tries leaving... STUNNER! STONE COLD! STONE COLD! STONE COLD! Beer Bash!

Wait... it's SHANE MCMAHON! Oh no... tell Kane to leave the God damn building! Stunner to Shane, and that makes Austin my favorite wrestler again. For the next 10 minutes at least. Bring out Stephanie to..... Oh damn, they did! Stephanie McMahon comes out now, and she has blonde hair?! At least she doesn't look like a butterface. She gets up in Austins face... Austin offers Stephanie a kiss, so she slaps the taste out of his mouth. STUNNER TO THE BITCH! STUNNER TO THE BITCH! STUNNER TO THE BITCH! Oh wait, now everyone will complain that he beat up a woman for no reason in a scripted TV show that everyone knows is fake. OK, bring out Triple H to eat one, or maybe Linda? IT IS LINDA! YES! YES! (cackles evily) Crowd chants slut for the fallen Stephanie, but Austin calls her a "Precious" piece of trash. Linda wants an apology. Austin gives in, to the delight of no one in the crowd. Austin wants a kiss on the cheek, but with his eyes open. Someone in the crowd mumbles something, and Austin recognizes it... then wants some beer. BOO! This is eating up way too much time now. Thankfully now it's over. Wait... SERIOUSLY BOTCHED STUNNER TO LINDA! STONE COLD! STONE COLD! STONE COLD!

- Money In The Bank, Loser Leaves Raw, Ladder Match:
Matt Hardy vs. Edge (w/ Lita the Skank):
Lita is about an 8.5 on the skank meter tonight. This is the feud that seems to never die. Edge attackl Hardy on the ramp, runs in, and tries climbing the ladder. Hardy tosses him off and tries himself. Edge tips over the Ladder, but Hardy is on his feet and connects with the Side Effect. Hardy sets the ladder up in a "V" form and sandwiches Edge in between it. Matt with a leg drop, and he squashes Edge in between the sides. Hardy sets the ladder up in the corner and whips Edge into it. Hardy charges, but gets drop toe hold-ed into it by Edge. Edge now sets the ladder in the corner. Suplex onto the ladder. Ladder is set up in the middle of the ring and Edge goes climbing, but he ends up coming off with a sledge. Irish whip, and a flap jack sends Hardy up onto the ladder, but Edge pulls him back off. Edge puts the Ladder across the top turnbuckle for some preplanned punishment. Irish whip is countered, and Hardy goes for the Twist of Fate. That's countered, and Edge shoves Hardy face first into the Ladder. Back into the ring with Edge and another Ladder. Edge with the slow climb of doom 2 minutes into the match. Oh come the fuck on... Hardy most obviously pulls him down and rams him into the turnbuckle. Hardy uses the Ladder as a battering ram into the midsection of Edge. Hardy with a suplex attempt, but Edge blocks with a front suplex across the ladder. Edge goes climbing slowly again, allowing Hardy a chance to climb back up the other side. Hardy throws Edge off onto the other Ladder, and Edge in return backs into the original, sending Hardy crashing off into the ropes as we go to a commercial break.

We come back to a pointless table spot being set up. Hardy whips Edge into the security wall and gets yet another ladder. That shot sends Edge crashing into the crowd, and Matt sets it up for more action. Hardy with a dive off the ladder and onto Edge in the crowd. Lita stops Hardy from going into the ring, but he snapmares her off his back. Edge prevents Lita going through a table with a kendo stick shot to the back. Edge with a series of blows, and he sets Matt up on the ladder. Edge off the apron with a big splash through the ladder! Edge... slowly... crawls... into the ring, where 2 ladders are conveniently set up next to each other. As predicted, here comes Matt from the other ladder, and he nails the twist of fate! The impact sends Edge rolling to the outside. Hardy moves the ladder around a lot before climbing up... Lita WHIFFS with the kendo stick shot, but the second shot hits. Matt blocks the third, and he whips her hard into the corner. Matt has the briefcase, but Lita takes the ladder from under him. Edge swings Matt around by the legs, causing him to crash across the top rope. Edge ties up Matt in the ropes, and now Lita adds a crucifix as Edge climbs up and gets the briefcase at 10:42 (commercials edited out). That was anticlimatic if there ever was such a term. **1/4 Nothing we haven't seen before. The usage of a table spot takes points from the match, because I generally feel needing to work in another gimmick spot that isn't in the context of the match is reaching for something the crowd will respond to. And that finish sucked fucking dick.

- Judging from tonights lineup remaining, the matches are going to be really short changed on time, or the run over is gonna be fucking huge. They have 4 matches to go, and Hulk Hogans appearence. As I say that, we get an Ultimate Warrior DVD Commercial. If you don't know how this came out, you go to hell. You go to hell and you die!

- Backstage is Hacksaw Jim Duggan, TED DIBIASE (WOO!), And Jimmy Snuka, being flashed by Mae Young. Dibiase offers her $1,000 (then $2,000) to put her shirt back on. Oh man, I miss the Million Dollar Man. Snuka takes Dibiase's money, offers to pay him back, then goes after Mae. Duggan's reaction is quite funny (covers his eyes, then peaks through).

- Ric Flair the Drag Queen is interviewed by the Walking Ditz in what looks like a prom dress, but at least she's hot enough to not suck completely. He rambles incoherently like Jake Roberts at Heroes of Wrestling. At least he's not blowing Triple H. Wait... did he say Carlitus Colon? I hope he meant Carlito.

- Ric Flair & Triple H vs. Chris Masters & Carlito (No Longer Carribean Cool):
Only the third match, and we just broke the two hour mark. At least the filler (well, most of it) has been entertaining. Gotta love Ted Dibiase. Triple H better fucking turn on Flair 50 seconds into this match, otherwise the show will be even more squeezed for time. Shot of Kevin Von Erich in the crowd looking at a potential hooker... oh wait, thats Ric Flair again. The referee looks really old. Must be a local legend referee or something. Triple H looks like he stole Stephanies ding-dong stash. Or maybe he just drank another bottle of steroids. H still has the Harley Race beard going. Flair/Carlito and HHH/Masters pair off. Trips clotheslines Masters out and Flair dumps Carlito. Hugs from the "faces"... and please tell me they aren't chanting for Triple H. Calrito tries a sneak attack on Hunter, but he's too small to work WWE style. Double Chops from Flair and HHH and now double struts. Masters gets chopped down, and down goes Carlito. Trips struts more as we go to the commercial break (OH! Monk!). We come back with Carlito stomping on Flair. He goes for an applie and spits it on Flair. Figure-Four by Carlito! Trips breaks it up with an elbow drop (illegally), but Carlito is still in control. Slaps from Triple C, and he talks trash to Triple H. Flair returns the favor with sick sounding chops. Irish whip is countered, and Carlito with a non-Arn Anderson spinebuster. Carlito mocks Flair, then heads up top. Flair slams him off (oh, the irony), and Flair does the flop a foot away from Triple H. Masters calls for the Mastercock, and Flair low blows him. Take that you bastard! Trips hot tag in and he controls both men. Irish whip, and a back drop to Carlito. Hunter with a clothesline to Masters. Running high knee to Carlito. Irish whip is reversed, and H with another, this time to Masters. Nice spinebuster to Carlito, and a second to Masters. Triple H came to play. Hunter goes to the outside... SLEDGEHAMMER! Flair is so eating that. He bashes the steps to give us proof if it's the rigged one or not. Batter Up! Carlito prevents the usage, so he eats the Pedigree. Flair prevents a Masters save, and H covers Carlito for the victory at 6:55 (without commercials). *1/2 I've seen worse, but this seemed like an old SNME Match where the faces controlled most of it, had a small face-in-peril period, then cleaned house. Triple H, to the surprise of NO ONE, nails Flair with the Sledehammer. Douche punches~! Flair blades for the first time in a while (almost 3 weeks), and the beating continues for about a year. Flair is bleeding all over the place. None of the legends make the save, sadly. I really wanted Koko B. Ware to give it to Triple H. Backstage (during the break) Michaels Hayes tried saving, but that didn't last long. This goes on forever... (cuts wrists)

- Legends Celebration in the ring, with the American Dream Dusty Rhodes on the microphone! Superstar Billy Graham, Arn Anderson, Ted Dibiase, Jimmy Snuka, Howard Finkel, Harley Race, Koko B. Ware, Greg Valentine, Ricky Steamboat, Nikolai Volkoff, Steve Williams, Hillbilly Jim (not dressed as a Hillbilly), Sgt. Slaughter, Steve Keirn (a.k.a Skinner and of the Fabulous Ones fame), Dean Malenko, Pat Patterson, Kevin Von Erich, Jimmy Hart, Mae Young, Fabulous Moolah, andTony Garea in the ring. Rob Conway interrupts, but Dusty Rhodes gets in his face. Race and Duggan cheap shot Conway, and Rhodes does his goofy dancing and bionic elbows. Von Erich CLAW~!~~! Snuka goes UP TOP~! Superfly Splash! Conway gets dumped out by a gang of legends. Entertaining throw-away segment.

- I'm not wasting my time with this 3-on-2 handicapped Bra and Panties match. Someone wins by pulling someone elses pants off. No one cares. This just wasted about 7 minutes of valuable air time, until I remembered Jim Ross saying they will be given more time for the overrun by the USA Network. Lucky us I guess. In the blunder of 2005, Ashley nearly takes down Candices' panties in the finish. Way to go Diva Chick. You earn your $250,000 with such great talent like that.

- Backstage, Eric Bischoff and Kurt Angle plot on how to get the World Championship off of John Cena. We know where this is going... OK, I don't really know, but I need to say that to build interest.

- Batista, Rey Mysterio, Chris Benoit vs. John Bradshaw Layfield, Christian, Eddie Guerrero:
OK, I want the show to fucking end now. We cut to Tazz and Michael Cole on commentary for the very special Smackdown! Match in honour of Homecoming. Jesus, what's with Rey Mysterios new theme? Oh well, it's still better than horrible crap he used for 3 years. I must note Chris Benoit gets a far better pop for his entrance than Mysterio got. What, Guerrero has new music too?! Damn, I need to watch Smackdown once in a while. Gotta love that "I'm your Papi" shirt. Batista and BJL start... but Eric Bischoff interrupts?!? The lights go out in the arena. I guess we can have a Dark Match. Commercial Break... and the match doesn't happen. WAY TO GO WWE!

- Mean Gene Okerlund is in the ring now to introduce the one, the only, the Immortal Hulk Hogan! (marks out) OK, get him out of the arena. I'm tired, cranky, and pissed off. I'm surprised the crowd is still alive this far into the broadcast. I know I'd have fallen asleep during the womens crap. Hogan wants Michaels again apparently, but his next "victim" is... according to the crowds chant, Stone Cold Steve Austin... and that's the end of the Interview. TIME TO POSE~!

- WWE World Championship; No Disqualification Match:
John Cena © vs. Eric Bischoff (w/ Kurt Angle):
Bischoff made this No DQ once McMahon left the arena. Oh well, so much for the lame segment earlier that was rendered pointless. Thank the fuck Christ this is the final "match" of the show, because I've suffered enough for one night. Worst. World Champion. Ever. In Real life, Eric Bischoff could probably kick Cena's ass with Karate, but apparently wrestling is a lot more devistating. Cena blocks a kick and punches Bischoff down. Back elbow. Sounds like the crowd chanted Cena sucks, but it was too muffled. Cena goes through his crappy moves. Angle in with the Angle Slam attempt, but thats blocked. Bischoff low blows Cena and covers for TWO! Angle accidentally bops himself with a chair, a spot he does way too much. D-U-H to Bischoff ends his night at 2:46 to the surprise of me, because I thought Vince was dumb enough to give him the title. Angle and Cena brawl afterwards, but out comes Teddy Long. Uh oh... Smacdkown guyts rush the ring and beat the shit out of Angle and Cena. I see only Ken Kennedy as someone we haven't seen tonight. Heels destroy Cena and faces do it in for Angle. Bischoff gets slaughtered by everyone. BATISTA BOMB~!.. wait, Shelton! Carlito! Masters! Eugene! Conway! IT'S ON LIKE DONKEY KONG! BRAWL! BRAWL! BRAWL! VISCERA! SNITSKY! SHOW!

End of Broadcast. Thank God.

Final Thoughts: I'm too bored to do anything. Angle/Michaels was great, no matter how much I tried hating it. Edge/Hardy was the same-old Ladder Match we've seen for the last 6 years. The bait-and-switch for the Smackdown match pissed me off, and the rest was either garbage or just not neccessary. The segments ranged from mark out material (Hogan, Legends), to mixed reviews (Austin/McMahon) and downright horrible crap (HHH beating down Flair)

For a three hour broadcast, how the fuck did WWE fuck up this show? Three hours gives them a lot of time, and they managed to overbook everything to the point they had to get a little more time from USA, and still didn't follow through with some of the advertised segments. All around a poor effort from WWE once the Austin/McMahons segment haulted everything down to hell.

A night of let-downs. :( It was a good, basic Raw, but for something that was hyped...

Terrible. I fart in your guys' general direction for getting me to watch this. (I know, I know..nobody said "ES, you putz, you need to watch this".. but the fact that I'm around this board made me wanna' be part of the IN crowd by watching it).

-We got the return of the Nitro ending! The ring's filling up! We're running over our time limit! Fans, we've gotta' go!!

-When I saw the preview for this show, several weeks ago I said something like "see, I'd wanna' see this...but I'll probably tune in and get a 30 minute McMahon segment". Yup, got that.

- Cuz' when you think LEGENDS, you think Koko B. Ware! Well, the Broncos Annual Alumni Gathering is this weekend..and they're promoting back "Legends" like Jon Keyworth, Dave Wyman and Doug Widell....so it's not unprecedented.

-Ahem..Scroogey...note the "homecoming queen" sash on the bimbo?! See, the show was called "Homecoming", so they played up the goofy high school dance thing.

-Years ago, I was babbling on the old KayFabe Memories board that it'd be nice to see Kevin Von Erich get a front row seat and acknowledgement the next time they were in Dallas. Got that, so I was satisfied. Guy still has that mid-70's overgrown bowl haircut. I expected KVE to run-in and help Flair doing that ridiculous beating (or even Duthy, when I saw him!), but I marked out for the CLAW, later on!

-By process of elimination, was that Hillbilly Jim in the dark glasses, slicked back hair, beard and ponytail?! He was tall enough, but if that was him, I didn't recognize him at all. My guess, at the time, was that it was Fred Ottman (Typhoon) minus a few pounds.

-When Snuka went up top, I'm betting Jimmy Hart was saying through the megaphone: "work on him, baby, work on him!" Also, does this mean Hart isn't managing the Naturals anymore?

-Hey, Harley Race! Haven't seen him since he played Thurman Merman in "Bad Santa"!

- Like how DiBiase, Duggan, Snuka and Mae made it from the front row to backstage and back again, in about five minutes.

-Couple of contradictory quotes that made me chuckle...but I forgot about them already. So basically I sat through almost 3.5 hours to see Kevin Von Erich claw a lower midcarder. Damn.

-Oh yeah, Impact was GOOD!

Your review was better than mine, and it was 50000 times shorter. Good job. :lol:

Yes, that was Hillbilly Jim with his hair slicked back and doing his best impersonation of the 1999-present era of Randy Savages appearence.

Here's something I wrote for my livejournal:

This past week, both WWE and NWA-TNA entered new eras. TNA iMPACT debuted on Spike TV on Saturday and WWE Raw returned to the USA network after five years on Spike TV. I watched both shows and I had some thoughts...

iMPACT: The show starts off with AJ Styles basically squashing Roderick Strong. While a more competitive match would have been a better idea, this is a good way of introducing new viewers to AJ Styles since he has been the most popular TNA star since the beginning. The next match was Monty Brown, another popular TNA star, squashing Lex Lovett. This furthers my belief that Styles shouldn't have squashed Strong in the opener. Then we get Chris Sabin vs Alex Shelly vs Petey Williams in a really good X division match. This is what TNA needs to do because this is what really sets them apart from WWE. Our main event for the night is Jeff Hardy vs Rhino, both of whom used to be WWE stars. The match is a step down from what I'm used to seeing in TNA, but would have worked quite well on WWE's Sunday Night Heat. The last part of iMPACT was the highlight for me though. Jeff Jarrett and America's Most Wanted come to the ring and Jarrett boasts about winning the NWA title again (a fact which infuriates me, btw). However, this leads to Team 3D (formerly the Dudley Boyz in WWE and ECW) coming out and destroying AMW. Jarrett escapes, but Kevin Nash makes his return and powerbombs Jarrett. This segment had me marking out, though I really wish Nash wasn't suddenly the #1 contender. Overall, a good show from TNA that left me wanting more.

Raw: The show starts off with a Piper's Pit segment, featuring Roddy Piper, a star from the 80's who pops up every now and then. His guest is Mick Foley, the hardcore legend who retired five and a half years ago. They are interupted by Smackdown star, Randy Orton. Now as entertaining as this segment was, why would you want to introduce your new viewers to your show featuring a two guys who will not be on next week and another guy who will probably jump over to Smackdown? Seems kind of counterproductive to me.

After that, we were treated to a 30 minute Iron man match between Shawn Michaels and Kurt Angle. This one did not disappoint, IMO. The only annoying thing was that the match ended with a draw, which is a huge let down to most fans. Once again, I would not think it would be a good idea to be screwing over your viewers, especially when many of them may be watching for the first time.

From there, we get a half hour segment featuring Stone Cold Steve Austin giving every member of the McMahon family a stunner. This was just awful. It dragged on forever and served no purpose, especially since Austin's appearances are just every now and then. I should probably mention that this episode of Raw went on for over three hours and only featured five matches.

Edge and Matt Hardy had their final encounter in a very disappointing ladder match. If this had been their second or third match, it would have been fine, but it was their blow-off and it was anti-climatic. It seemed even more offensive since Matt Hardy lost, meaning how all of his heat is dead. By this point though, it is painfully obvious that WWE only rehired Hardy to keep him from signing with TNA. This whole Edge/Hardy feud had the potential to be the biggest feud in years and boost both Edge and Hardy into superstardom, but instead WWE decided it would be better to make Hardy look foolish and put him in his place rather than, you know, make money and entertain the fans. I really wish Hardy had signed with TNA over the summer instead of what we got.

Somewhere in here, an out of shape Triple H makes his return and teams with Ric Flair against Carlito and Chris Masters. Triple H pins Carlito after a pedigree and then proceeds to beat up his buddy, Flair. This goes on forever. You'd think SOMEONE would have helped Flair, maybe one of the legends sitting at ringside (not all of them hate Flair) or Shawn Michaels. Triple H is back for one night and I'm sick of him already.

Ah, my memory gets a bit fuzzy from here on what order things happened in. There was a divas handicap match with Trish Stratus and Ashley against Torrie Wilson, Candice, and Victoria. This match was more entertaining than I would have expected and I got mad at myself for rooting for Trish and Ashley.

My favorite part of the show is next, as all the legends in attendance are in the ring at once. Dusty Rhodes has a microphone and he's putting them all over, until Rob Conway comes out and makes jokes about how old they are. This turns into Rob Conway vs about 20 of the biggest names of the 1980's (and somehow Dean Malenko is there too, which I thought was cool that they'd show him that kind of respect). Kevin Von Erich hits the claw on Conway, and the crowd couldn't be happier. This was good stuff.

There was going to be a special Smackdown match featuring Batista, Chris Benoit, and Rey Mysterio against JBL, Eddie Guerrero, and Christian. However, as the match was about to begin, Eric Bischoff came out, had all the lights turned off, and laughed at Smackdown. Had I been the one booking this, all six of them would have proceeded to beat the holy crap out of Bischoff, but instead they stand there in the ring looking like fools. I cannot believe WWE continues to book Smackdown to look inferior to Raw. It's not as if Smackdown is Nitro or anything, it is THEIR OWN SHOW! If Smackdown was successful, WWE in general would be more successful!

Hulk Hogan comes out and says he wants to wrestle Stone Cold. The crowd gets all happy at the idea, while I groan. Austin retired from wrestling in 2003 due to his severe neck problems. His last match was a highly respectable ***3/4 outing with The Rock at WrestleMania XIX. He has retired with dignity, a match with Hogan would likely be ugly as sin.

The main event is John Cena defending the WWE title against Eric Bischoff in a no DQ match. Kurt Angle tries interfering, but Cena 316 once again overcomes the odds and hits the FU on Bischoff for the win. After the match, the Smackdown stars (along with Ken Kennedy and Randy Orton) rush out and beat up both Cena and Bischoff. Once again, I am annoyed. It was not that long ago that Cena was a Smackdown star himself. More logical booking would have had Cena leave Bischoff and Angle to the Smackdown guys. The Raw lockerroom rushes out to fight the Smackdown guys, and this looks stupid because suddenly Shawn Michaels and Kurt Angle are on the same side, as are Batista and JBL.

So now let me pretend that I have not watched WWE in five years (or ever) and am just watching it now because it is on USA again. I would be confused next week when I tune in again and don't see Piper, Austin, Orton, Hogan, the McMahons, or the other Smackdown guys. I would be confused. That's not a good thing to be. In comparison, TNA's debut on Spike TV was very straightforward. They presented the new viewers with some guys who are established top stars, and they brought back some familiar faces with Kevin Nash and Team 3-D. Everything was logical, and they hinted that there are more big stars to introduce. I am looking forward to iMPACT next week and I am curious to see what WWE does next week to follow up on their Homecoming special. However, for this week, one hour of TNA was more satisfying than three and a half hours of WWE.

Thanks, Rowe--you typed a Buncha' Stuff I agree with and had forgotten about. You're right, it was cool to see Malenko in with crowd.

Oh yeah.. you never want Linda "Stop, Drop and Roll" McMahon taking a stunner again.

I'm wondering: is JYD in the WWE "Hall of Fame". If he's not, that's incredibly contradictory and petty. They put guys like Nikolai and Hillbily Jim in, cuz' they're still alive and can appear to help sell shows and videos. So please tell me JYD is in.

JYD was inducted for last years show.

Hillbilly Jim isn't, and neither is about 90% of the people in the ring last night.

Yeah, I remember his daughter was there in his place. If I recall properly, some fans at MSG even booed her. :P

Well, she ain't the JYD. It's actually her fault he died. He was coming home from her graduation when he got in that accident.

Wow, that's harsh. Yeah, what did that bitch think she was doing, graduating and all!

But Hillbilly Jim works in marketing for the WWE. It's only a matter of time.

:lol: I meant it as a not-serious comment, but whatever you say.

:lol: Me too, man. Me too.

Let's have cake.

(grabs them cakes) Mine, bitch! Mine! (throws monkey feces at Rowenoke)

No, you share!


And my only questions is how did you come to have monkey feces in your possesion? Is this why you were banned from your local zoo?

I have pet chimpanze's? Or maybe I'm a Monkey-Man!~!!

That would explain why you don't want to post your photo. I'll just save you the trouble.



Scrooge ^^^^