Compilation tape part 3
Chris Benoit vs Shelton Benjamin
Ooh, I remember this match. It is the really short but really fast paced mini classic they put on in March. This will be tough to keep up with. They quickly tie up and fight for control. They back off after some exchanges. Shelton gets an armbar on Benoit, but Benoit fights out and they are back on their feet. They tie up and Shelton corners Benoit, which the referee breaks. Benoit chops Shelton, and Shelton fires back with some punches. After taking some abuse, Benoit fights back with some chops and lifts up Shelton over the ropes. Benoit chops Shelton to the floor. Benoit goes for a suicide dive, but Shelton moves and Benoit hits a ladder that was set up by the ring (if you’re wondering why it was there, it was to promote the upcoming Money in the Bank ladder match). Shelton rolls Benoit back into the ring and heads to the top rope. Shelton hits a flying clothesline on Benoit and goes for a cover, but only gets a 2. Shelton misses on a Stinger splash and gets caught in a series of German suplexes by Benoit. Shelton counters the fourth suplex with a roll-up but only gets 2 again. Benoit locks on to Shelton again and hits four more German suplexes. Benoit signals for the flying head butt and heads to the top rope. Benoit misses on the head butt, with Benjamin rolling out of the way. Benjamin goes for the cover, but only gets 2 again. Benoit reverses a suplex and goes for the crossface, but Shelton counters into a backslide pin. Benoit kicks out and counters a big super kick by Benjamin. Benoit locks the crippler crossface onto Benjamin, and Shelton taps out after an extended period at 4:31. This was a really short, yet intense and well wrestled contest. **3/4. I would love to see them have a one on one pay-per-view match some day.
Next up is the Undertaker as Dirty Harry. This one was really lame, why didn’t I tape over it? I guess ‘Taker looks cool holding a gun or something.
WWE Tag Team Championship: Eddie Guerrero and Rey Mysterio © vs John Bradshaw Layfield and Orlando Jordan
Good lord, if JBL and Jordan win this, they will be the new two man power trip, since JBL is still WWE Champion and Jordan is the U.S. Champion. Eddie and JBL start the match off, as the crowd chants “Eddie.” Did I mention how much I enjoyed the Eddie/JBL feud in 2004? Eddie starts off fierce, chopping and kicking JBL into the corner. JBL whips Eddie into the ropes and knocks him down. JBL locks in a side-headlock onto Guerrero, but Guerrero pushes JBL into the ropes, and follows up with some arm drags on a clumsy JBL. JBL retreats to the apron and makes the tag to Jordan. OJ jumps around and poses a bit, with Eddie mocking him in response. Eddie slaps Jordan and makes a tag to Rey Mysterio. Mysterio sends OJ into the ropes and then into a headscissors take down. Rey tags Eddie back in, and they briefly double team OJ. Eddie decides to work on the left leg of Jordan, driving his knee into it after twisting it in a modified ankle lock. Eddie tags in Rey, establishing Jordan as the “heel in peril.” Jordan gains some control over Rey and hits Rey with some thrilling and fascinating kicks… Jordan lifts up Rey and punches him, before tagging in JBL. They double Irish whip Rey into the ropes and knock him down again. JBL misses on a big boot, and then tries to powerbomb Rey but it is countered. Rey tags in Eddie, who flips over the top rope onto JBL. Eddie keeps control on JBL, which always brings a smile to my face. Eddie uses a snapmare takedown to put JBL in position for a sleeper. JBL fights out, and Eddie tags in Rey. JBL slams Rey hard on his back with a clubbing blow. Orlando Jordan is tagged back in, and uses his boxing hooks to corner Rey. Isn’t Orlando Jordan full of interesting offense or what! Rey regains control and hits a flying plancha on Jordan. The Bashams briefly get involved, before the referee throws them out. We go to a commercial.
During the break, JBL gained control over Rey and he is beating him up badly. And by badly, I mean with ugly offense. JBL tosses Rey out of the ring, literally, which outrages Michael Cole. Jordan continues the assault on Rey on the outside, ramming him into the apron. JBL gets Rey back into the ring and goes for a cover. Something happened to the crowd during the break, they were into this match before! JBL methodically works on the back of Rey Mysterio, slamming him into the turnbuckles and such. Crowd chants “619” even though Rey can hardly stand, let alone even think about hitting that move. JBL puts Rey into a BEAR HUG! My least favorite wrestling hold ever! Rey fights back by raking JBL’s eyes, so maybe I won’t deduct half a star from the rating afterall! JBL tags Jordan back in, and Jordan hits some elbow drops on Rey before going for a cover. Rey counters with some kicks to Jordan’s gut, but Jordan isn’t done just yet. Jordan puts Rey into a bear hug of his own, and I deduct that half star afterall from the rating. Rey boxes Jordan in the ears to get out of the hold, but Jordan keeps control… up until Rey counters a whip and sets up Jordan for the 619. JBL interrupts the 619, and holds Rey still so Jordan can kick him. A tag is made to JBL, who follows up with the “throw Rey into the turnbuckles” game. Rey hits a great tornado DDT on JBL and both men are down. Rey makes the tag and Eddie cleans house on JBL and OJ. Eddie trips OJ, setting him up for the 619. Rey goes for the move, but gets caught by a chair from JBL. The ref calls for the DQ! The Basham Brothers return to the ring and a beat-down begins. The rating might have been higher without the bear hug spots **. The Cabinet continue to beat down Rey and Eddie until John Cena storms the ring and destroys everyone, with an F-U on Jordan as the highlight.
Paul London vs Akio
Chavo Guerrero is at the commentator’s booth for this contest. The winner here gets a Cruiserweight title shot, though that ended up being forgotten about in place of a battle royal on Smackdown. This should be a tremendous, if hard to keep up with, match. Akio goes for a cover (?) in the early going, but it somehow didn’t work. Fireman’s carry by Akio puts London down, but London rolls out. They circle each other and tie up. London goes to the back of Akio, but Akio rolls out and gets caught in a head lock by London. Akio fights out and wrenches London’s arm. The action is lightning quick, as London gets a side headlock onto London. Akio pushes London into the ropes, and London bounces back to floor Akio. Another side headlock by London and he whips Akio again. This time, Akio slides under the ropes and pouts outside the ring. Akio returns to the ring and they circle each other again. Akio catches London and hits a back suplex on London, then goes for the cover. London kicks out. Akio clubs away at the back of London’s neck and then misses a flying scissor kick and lands on the ropes. Akio misses a running boot and gets hit by a London drop kick. London dodges a spin kick and takes control of Akio, ramming his head into the turnbuckle. Damn, I miss Akio. London clotheslines Akio out of the ring and London begins to signal a suicide dive. London goes to the top rope and hits a flying clothesline onto Akio on the floor! London hit it perfectly!
After a commercial break, London is trying to cover Akio. London corners Akio, whipping him into opposite corners. Akio finally covers with a kick to the knee of London. Akio targets the injured knee, trying to keep his enemy grounded. Akio locks onto London’s leg and wrenches it convincingly. London breaks the hold, but Akio lifts up London’s leg and slams it into the mat. Akio locks the leg again, but London strikes away to free himself. London barely makes it to his feet, but Akio hits a stiff kick to the back of London’s leg. The work on London’s leg continues for several minutes, and London is selling it like a pro. Akio arrogantly kicks London on the back of his head and hits a single leg Boston crab on London. London desperately reaches for the ropes… and gets to the bottom rope! Akio rips off London’s tassels and whips London with it… nice touch. Akio continues the punishment on London’s leg and goes for another cover. London kicks out, further establishing how gutsy he is. It has been several minutes since London got any offense in, Akio looks strong. London finally hits some punches on Akio and hits a drop sault out of no where! Rob Van Dam could learn a lot about selling leg injuries from watching this match. London can still hit bit spots, but continues to sell the leg in the process. London hits a big elbow and then a clothesline on Akio, and then a big body drop! London collapses on his hurt knee, but still hits a great spinning kick on Akio! London barely manages to pull Akio into position for the 450 splash. London takes too much time climbing to the top, Akio gets up and hits a high kick on London’s head. European uppercut on London, and he goes to super-plex London! London reverses the momentum and catches Akio in a pinning predicament for the win at 10:50 (not counting commercial!) This match was great, for different reasons than the other London/Akio match I reviewed. This gets an easy ****.
Chris Benoit vs Tyson Tomko
Benoit is injured from a ladder attack from Tomko earlier. Tomko hits some big kicks on Benoit early on, but Benoit traps Tomko into a German suplex series, ending it with a release suplex. Benoit goes to the top rope and hits a flying head butt on Tomko. Benoit goes for the cover, but Tomko kicks out. Benoit clubs away at the back of Tomko, and goes for another suplex, but Tomko punches out. Tomko mounts Benoit, punching away at him. Tomko waits for Benoit to stand up for a running big boot (don’t fall down this time, Tyson). He misses and gets caught in the crippler crossface for a quick submission victory for Benoit at under two minutes! Even squash matches are fun when Benoit does it! ¾*
Next up is the Taxi Driver spoof video for WrestleMania 21. This one is still amusing. My favorite part is when the stuff on the shelf falls down behind Snitsky and he very defensively claims that it wasn’t his fault.
WWE Tag Team Championship: Eddie Guerrero and Rey Mysterio © vs Hardcore Holly and Charlie Haas
Eddie and Holly start the match off, and Eddie quickly locks a side headlock onto Hardcore Holly. Holly fights out, and looks pissed. They lock up again, and Hardcore goes to the back of Eddie. Eddie counters out and goes for a front headlock. Eddie whips off the ropes and Holly leap frogs over Eddie, but then hits a drop kick on Eddie. Holly tags Charlie Haas into the match, and Haas hits some arm wrenches on Eddie. Tag is made to Rey Mysterio, who I am quickly tiring of in this video. Rey positions Haas for the 619 but is interrupted by some Undertaker lighting. How very random, as no Undertaker shows up. Hardcore Holly capitalizes on the distraction by rolling up Rey, but Rey kicks out. Tag is made to Haas, and Haas puts Rey in a surfboard stretch. It takes Rey longer than usual to fight out of this. Haas whips Rey into the corner, but Rey elbows his way out. Rey hits a flying senton on Haas off the ropes and tags Eddie Guerrero in. Eddie cleans house on Haas, hitting a spinning head scissor take down on Haas. He follows this up with the Three Amigos, and then heads to the top rope for a frog splash. Haas rolls out of the way, but Eddie saw it coming. Hardcore Holly enters the ring and hits a full nelson slam on Eddie. Haas goes for the cover, but Eddie kicks out. Haas plants Eddie on the mat and goes for the Haas of Pain! Rey leaps off the top rope onto Haas to break the hold, and then knocking Holly to the floor. Eddie rams Haas into the turnbuckle, and places Haas on the top turnbuckle. Rey leaps up and hits a hurricanrana on Haas. Eddie hits a frog splash and pins Haas for the victory at 6:07. This match had a few fun spots, but mostly just a formulaic match. It could have been better had they let Eddie and Haas go at it. **.
Next up, Kurt Angle comes out to Shawn Michael’s music and does an uncanny impersonation of HBK. He has Sensational Sherri with him. If you recall, they do a horrible musical number to HBK’s music, play an HBK video package, and then Angle attacks Sherri.
Paul London vs Spike Dudley
What, I taped TWO London vs Spike matches? Good lord… what is wrong with me. I don’t even remember this second match. Ah well, it will likely be short, so I’ll review it. London is really getting into his “Cruiserweight warrior” gimmick by this point, it’s a shame it didn’t get more over. Spike has his goatee in a cool looking braid too… just thought I’d mention it. Spike gains early control, hitting a back suplex on Paul London. He follows it up with some choking. London goes to the mat and Spike stomps on London’s face. London no sells and laughs in Spike’s face. London stomps around the ring and chops Spike. Spike runs into some arm drags by London. London hits the “coconut crunch” on Spike after chasing him around the ring. Spike throws London over the ropes, but London skins the cat. Spike catches London during this and drop kicks London to the mat. This match is going a lot better than the first one I reviewed. London is a master bump machine. London reenters the ring, and gets caught in a neckbreaker by Spike, who then goes for the cover and only gets 2. Spike puts London in a single leg Boston crab camel clutch. Yes, you read that right. London reaches for the ropes and makes it. Spike is furious and takes his eyes off of his opponent. London and Spike exchange blows and then chops. London hits a stiff kick on Spike and goes for a cover. Spike is just able to kick out. London hits a dropsault on Spike, and the cover only gets a 2 again. Spike whips London into the ropes, but London counters out with a mule kick. I actually have to rewind a couple of times, I keep missing spots. London hit a suplex variation on Spike, and then catches Spike in a full nelson position. Spike goes to the mat and London goes to the sky. London hits the 450 splash for the win at about seven minutes! The crowd is happy and this was good stuff! **3/4.
Nunzio and Funaki vs Billy Kidman and Akio
Hurray, another cruiserweight match! Kidman is apparently making his 134,034th return from injury with this match. Funaki and Kidman start the match, and Kidman knees Funaki in the stomach and mocks Funaki’s clapping from a minute earlier. Funaki hits a headscissor on Kidman, and heads to the top rope. Flying crossbody by Funaki only gets a two count. Nunzio is tagged in and they double team Kidman. They take turns hitting drop kicks to the face of Billy Kidman. Kidman rakes Nunzio’s eyes and tags in Akio. Akio confidently kicks Nunzio in the head. Nunzio reverses a power bomb attempt by Akio into a small package, but Akio kicks out. Twirt a whirl headscissors on Akio by Nunzio is impressive, and Funaki is tagged in from the momentum. Funaki takes down Akio and puts him in an armbar. Akio corners Fuanki and tags in Kidman. They double team Funaki, who had been doing a good job fighting them both off. Kidman stomps away at Funaki. After a snapmare, Kidman kicks Funaki in the back and goes for a cover. Tag is made to Akio, and Funaki takes some stiff kicks to the head. Backbreaker by Akio looked brutal, and is followed up nicely by a stretch. Akio gives up on the submission and tags Kidman back in. Kidman continues the assault on Funaki’s back with a surfboard stretch. Funaki fights out, but Kidman stops him from making a tag to Nunzio. Funaki kicks Kidman to the mat, but goes down himself. Nunzio is tagged in and hits a swinging neckbreaker on Kidman. Akio interferes but gets caught in a big back body drop. Nunzio catches Kidman in a DDT and Nunzio continues to fight off both men. Suddenly Muhammad Hassan appears on my screen, cutting off this match. Damn. I seem to remember Kidman and Akio winning at about 6:30. Let’s just say *3/4 and call it fair.
Muhammad Hassan (with Daivari) vs Shawn Michaels
Hassan starts off with a really good promo, protesting that he’s been left off of WrestleMania 21 due to bigotry. He mockingly refers to HBK as “Mr. WrestleMania” which of course was a ridiculous thing for Michaels to refer to himself as. I want the last 30 seconds to that cruiserweight tag match back. The bell rings, but both men just stand there. They lock up, and Hassan aggressively hits some punches and kicks on HBK. Hassan whips HBK into the ropes, but HBK flips over Hassan. HBK hits some clotheslines on Hassan before clotheslining Hassan over the top rope. HBK follows Hassan to the mat, where he continues to punch away at Hassan. The action returns to the ring, where HBK continues the thrilling display of punching. Hassan finally gets a boot to HBK’s face and puts him on the mat where he PUNCHES HIM! HBK comes back with some chops, for variety, I guess. Daivari tries to distract HBK, but gets his fingers stomped on as a result. Careful Shawn, that’s a hate crime.
We come back from a commercial, and Hassan had HBK in a surfboard stretch (there’s that move again). During the break, HBK got caught with a backbreaker, sorry I missed that. Hassan tries to cover HBK, but to little luck. Hassan whips HBK into the ropes and into a clothesline. Hassan goes for yet another cover, and it fails yet again. Hassan puts HBK in a rest hold, but HBK is willed to life. That must be the work of God. HBK chops away at Hassan again, and I take a nap. Hassan hits an elbow drop on HBK and continues to kick him. I don’t remember this match going so long the last time I saw it. Hassan aggressively whips HBK into a turnbuckle and follows it up with MORE PUNCHING! After the match, they will probably drink some punch out back. Daivari meanwhile wraps HBK around the ring post and pulls at him. Hassan switches places with Daivari, so he can distract the referee. I was too busy typing to really make sense of that little exchange. Hassan is pleased with himself and looks to the sky for Allah’s wishes. HBK can barely stand, but can fight himself out of a hold by Hassan. Hassan knocks HBK in the spine and locks on the camel clutch! Now this I like. HBK gets to the ropes. Muhammad Hassan makes a gesture across his neck, which offends many. HBK fights back with chops and hits a flying clothesline on Hassan. HBK cleans house on Hassan, punching and kicking and dropping Hassan left and right. HBK hits a scoop slam on Hassan and heads to the top rope for an elbow drop. He hits it and signals for the Sweet Chin Music. He can’t hit it though, because Kurt Angle storms the ring and attacks HBK. Hassan holds HBK still so Angle can hit him. HBK ducks and Angle hits Hassan. Oh, the match sucked, it gets *. Meanwhile, Angle and HBK both fail to hit their finishers on each other. Angle exits through the crowd, while HBK is declared the winner by DQ.
That’s it for now.