Wrestling compilation part 2To follow up with Batista’s promise to appear on Smackdown, I taped the segment of which he appeared. JBL and the Cabinet make their way to the ring and JBL goes into his usual routine of “I am a wrestling God” and so forth. This drags on longer than it has any right to before we finally see Batista arrive at the arena, sporting a nice car. Batista looks to be headed to the ring, but he notices JBL’s limo in the back, and begins to break the windows. This goes on forever too. Finally, Orlando Jordan and the Bashams go back to stop Batista, leaving JBL victim to a confrontation with the Big Show (to hype up No Way Out, where they would have a barbed wire steel cage match). The Cabinet come back to help JBL, and they overwhelm Big Show… that is until Batista makes the save and lays waste to the Cabinet. This segment went on for waaay too long, but the end result was sure satisfying.
Randy Orton and Shawn Michaels vs Edge and ChristianBefore I get into the match let me just mention this: it bugs the hell out of me that they don’t mention that in kayfabe terms, Edge and Christian are brothers. Jim Ross refers to them as “former long term partners.” Either way, this was late in Orton’s time as a face, I’m guessing this is from the night after No Way Out. Orton and Christian start the match off, and they get into an aggressive tie-up. Christian forces Orton into a corner before the ref breaks it up. Orton knocks Christian down and does the fucking stupid pose that pisses me off. Christian ties up with Orton again and backs Orton into another corner. Christian breaks the hold and begins to punch and kick away at Orton. Christian whips Orton into the opposite corner, but Orton flips over and catches Christian in a side headlock take-down. Christian gets to his feet and isolates Orton in his corner, making the tag to Edge. Edge whips Orton into a turnbuckle, but once again Orton flips over and attempts a roll-up. Orton wrings the arm of Edge and makes the tag to Shawn Michaels. Michaels reverses a whip by Edge with a knee to the face. Edge comes back and slugs HBK. A tag is made to Christian, but HBK overwhelms his opponent with chops. HBK slams Christian’s head into the corner turnbuckle several times, as Randy Orton claps on like the generic suck-up babyface he was. HBK goes for a cover and almost gets the win. Christian rakes HBK’s eyes and makes the tag to Edge. Edge punches away at HBK, taking him down. Edge participates in the “slam opponent’s head into turnbuckle game” and HBK is helpless. That is, until HBK reverses an Irish Whip with a Lou Thesz press. Edge fights out and makes a tag to Christian. HBK gets an inside cradle on Christian and almost picks up the win. HBK traps Christian in an armbar and even gets Christian’s shoulders to the mat at a few points. The move transitions into a side headlock (very popular move in the WWE) but Christian fights off and whips HBK into the ropes, which HBK reverses into a hip toss. Christian gets up and slams HBK into the mat. Christian lifts up HBK and Irish whips him again, this time Edge pulls the top rope down and HBK goes to the floor. Edge clotheslines HBK on the floor and Jim Ross doesn’t think HBK can recover from that.
We come back from a commercial break and Edge is still beating on HBK. J.R. informs us that HBK was not able to tag in Orton at all during the break. Edge and Christian take turns tagging in and beating on HBK with some fairly generic offense. Still, it’s fun to see HBK get his ass kicked by Christian. HBK makes a brief comeback on Christian, but Christian knocks him down and goes to the top rope. Christian goes for a double ax handle, but HBK punches him in mid-air and Christian flips over. Now both HBK and Christian are down, and the crowd is cheering for HBK to get up. Christian makes the tag to Edge just as Michaels tags in Randy Orton. Orton cleans house on Edge, nearly botching about two spots in just as many seconds. Orton catches Edge and clubs him around the neck area. Meanwhile, Christian tries climbing to the top rope, but Orton knocks him down. Orton takes to the top rope himself and hits a flying crossbody on Edge. Orton makes a cover, but Edge kicks out. Christian hits a cheap shot on Orton from the outside, and Edge goes for a cover on Orton. The crowd buys this as the finish, but Orton kicks out. Edge drags Orton to his corner and makes the tag to Christian. J.R. and King discuss Edge and Christian of having a brilliant strategy by making frequent tags… which basically makes every heel tag team ever brilliant. Christian is now in full control of Orton, and locks on, you’ll never believe it, a REST HOLD! It’s some sort of sleeper, and Orton is his goofy self in selling it. Orton fights out of it, but Christian tags Edge back in. A double team move backfires and Edge and Christian, as Orton catches them both in a double DDT. All three men are down. Orton is up first and makes the tag to HBK. Michaels cleans house on Edge and Christian. HBK hits a back suplex on Christian, but is interrupted by Edge right after. Christian tries to hit the Unprettier on Orton, but Orton reverses it and throws him out of the ring. I don’t even remember who the legal man is. Edge reverses an RKO and pushes Orton right into the referee. Edge hits a spear on Orton right after. HBK attacks Edge and gets a flying clothesline in. HBK goes to the top rope and hits a flying elbow on Christian. Christian must be the most over jobber in wrestling. HBK sets up Christian for the Sweet Chin Music, but Edge cheap shots HBK from ringside. With the ref still down, Edge and Christian go for chairs and prepare to hit their patented “Con Chair Tow” on HBK, but HBK ducks and Edge and Christian hit each other. Christian takes another swing at HBK, but HBK ducks and hits the Sweet Chin Music on Christian. The ref is up in time to see HBK covering Christian for the win. This was a really formulaic tag match, ruined by some goofy stuff from Randy Orton. **1/4
Next up, Theodore Long makes a special appearance on Raw, looking to sign Batista away to Smackdown. Eric Bischoff is already in the ring, both have contracts for their respective brands. Big boos from the audience whenever Smackdown is mentioned. Without any further adieu, Batista comes out, looking pimping. He has Triple H and Ric Flair with him. It brings me great happiness that the World Heavyweight title is far away from Triple H now. Triple H makes it clear that he wants Batista to sign the Smackdown contract so Evolution can take over Smackdown as well. Batista teases signing the contract and gives Flair and HHH thumbs up… which of course is turned into thumbs down. Batista attacks Flair and HHH, and ends up power bombing HHH through the table. This segment is just as satisfying now as it was in March.
WWE Tag Team Championship: Eddie Guerrero and Rey Mysterio © vs Basham BrothersRey Mysterio still has the 619 cam, and I vomit. This was the first Smackdown after No Way Out, so Rey and Eddie were newly crowned champions. The Bashams come out to their lame music, and I chuckle because this was the era where the Bashams seemed to find new matching attire every week. Those poor Bashams could not seem to ever find their own identity as a team… ah well. Eddie and Danny start the match off, and somehow I predict there will be a lot of rest holds in this match. Eddie hip tosses Danny around to start things off, catching Damaja off his game. They lock up and Eddie tags Rey in. Rey hits a head-scissors on Danny and tags Eddie in again. Eddie takes control of Danny, shoving his head into turnbuckles and kicking him and such. Danny finally corners Eddie and makes the tag to his brother, Doug. Doug perches on the top turnbuckle and Danny lifts Eddie up to Doug. Doug slams Eddie off the top rope in a good spot. We go to a commercial.
After the break, Eddie and Danny are fighting pretty evenly. Danny Basham hits a neck breaker on Eddie, after Doug crawled under the ring to pull Rey off the apron. Good heel tactics by the Bashams thus far. Eddie dodges a spear attempt by Danny, and into the turnbuckles he goes. The Bashams then continue to use the old heel tactic of making frequent tags and making Eddie the face in peril. Danny Basham puts a surfboard stretch on Eddie, and that makes the first rest hold of the match. Shockingly, Eddie fights his way out of it. Danny continues to focus on the back of Eddie Guerrero, ramming him into the turnbuckle and targeting the back with his punches. Doug Basham is tagged into the match, who puts a single leg Boston crab on Eddie. I guess Doug didn’t want to follow up on the back work Danny had been doing. Pooh. Eddie is still stuck in the Boston crab, but he almost makes the tag to Rey. The Bashams panic and throw Eddie back into their corner and club away on Eddie’s back. Eddie attempts a comeback and lands some punches and then a dropkick on Danny Basham. Both men are down and need a tag. Eddie makes the tag to Rey, and he immediately hits a springboard plancha on Danny. Eddie remains in the ring and they each take a Basham to opposite turnbuckles and hit a “10 punch.” Rey and Doug are the legal men. Rey hits a second rope moonsault on Doug Basham, but Doug recovers and takes down Rey. Eddie knocks Danny off the apron and almost gets the three amigos on Doug. Danny was set up for the 619, but somehow Rey inadvertently hit the move on Eddie instead. The subtle seeds to their later breakup are already here. The action gets chaotic, but Rey positions Danny for the 619 again and actually hits it this time. Eddie goes to the top rope and hits the frog splash on Danny, letting Rey get the cover for the win. This was a pretty well worked tag title match with a hot crowd and at the time credible challengers. ***1/4 I can’t find my fucking stop watch anywhere, so I can’t say how long the match was, probably about 10 minutes.
Well, this site should help for future viewings:
http://www.shodor.org/interactivate/activities/stopwatch/Spike Dudley vs Paul LondonHere we are on another exciting edition of Velocity. Spike comes out wearing a Patriots jersey, so I’m guessing they aren’t anywhere near New England. London is now wearing the tassles. Spike takes early control of London, flipping him over his knee and hitting some weak punches. Spike goes for an inverted atomic drop, but London counters. London takes control of Spike for a few seconds, until Spike slides out of the ring and pulls at London’s leg, slamming it into the post. Spike comes back into the ring and stomps on London, literally. Spike follows this up with a knee to the face of Paul London, and then lifts London up to drag his face across the ropes. Spike continues to hammer on London’s neck with forearms, and London is probably selling this offense more than he should. London tries to get to his feet, but is knocked down with a big boot by Spike Dudley (feels weird typing that). It has been a few minute since London has had any offense here, and it is all Spike punching and kicking. London “hulks up” or in his version, stomps around the ring like a mad man. London hits some forearms on Spike and sends Spike bouncing off the ropes and into a big back body drop. London goes for a cover, but it only gets a 2. London hits a dropsault on Spike after a series of dodging each other off the ropes. Spike goes to the floor, and London runs off the apron with a flying clothesline on Spike. Spike crawls back into the ring and London goes to the top rope. Spike knocks London down and goes for the Dudley Dog. London reverses and hits a Dragon Suplex into a pin and gets the victory at about 4:15! The parts where Spike was in control was really painful, but London picked the pace up for the last minute or two. *3/4.
Street Fight: Shawn Michaels vs EdgeHBK comes out in normal street clothes (ie, jeans and his merchandise). Shawn Michaels takes control in the very beginning, hitting Edge with some punches and then taking his belt off and whipping Edge with it. Me likey. HBK continues the relentless assault on Edge, sending him off the ropes into a big back body drop. Edge retreats to the ringside area, with HBK hot on his trail. HBK punches Edge over the guard rail, and he chases Edge into the crowd where they brawl. By “brawl” I mean Edge gets in virtually no offense. They return to the ringside area, and HBK borrows a camera from a fan at ringside to take a picture of the look of agony on Edge’s face. This has been a freaking fun match thus far. HBK goes under the ring and pulls out a ladder, less than 3 minutes into the match! Before he can do anything, Edge hits HBK in the face with a trashcan lid. The janitors really should clean up better before the show begins. Edge takes control of HBK, throwing him back into the ring. Edge goes under the ring and pulls out a steel chair. Edge sits the chair up in the ring, but walks into a chop by HBK. Edge bounces HBK’s face into the steel chair in a “modified” DDT. We go to a commercial.
After the break, we find HBK bleeding and trapped in a rest hold by Edge. Shawn Michaels is so fucking heroic, how can any of us hate him. Easily. Next, HBK reaches down into his soul to take Edge down again. He finally remembers he set a ladder up earlier and he brings it to the ring. Edge dropkicks the ladder into HBK’s face and goes for the cover. HBK kicks out at 2, because HBK would never let us fans down. Edge has HBK’s blood all over his face, which is kind of gross, but I guess that’s what you can expect when you feud with Shawn Michaels. Edge goes to the top rope, but HBK hits him with the ladder, and Edge falls to the ringside floor. A few fans chant “Holy Shit” at this spot, but it takes more to impress me. HBK does a weak suicide dive through the ropes to take Edge down again. Michaels tosses Edge back into the ring and goes for his trusty ladder again. HBK positions the ladder in the turnbuckle, and then goes to chop Edge all over the ring. He whips Edge into the ladder, but Edge is able to stop himself before impact. Edge surprises HBK with a drop toe hold into the ladder! Edge makes a cover, but it only gets 2. That spot was cool. Edge sets the ladder back up and then scoop slams HBK into his desirable position. Edge climbs the ladder to the top and hits an ugly splash onto HBK. Edge makes another cover, but HBK kicks out again. I wouldn’t job to that splash either. Edge grabs the chair again and waits for HBK to stand up. HBK surprises Edge and slingshots him into the ladder. HBK crawls over to the chair and cracks it over the skull of Edge. Beautiful chair shot, Shawn you son of a bitch. Edge rolls out of the ring and finds a kendo stick under the ring. Who let Tommy Dreamer back into the building? Edge returns to the ring with his treasure and takes a swing at HBK, but misses. Shawn Michaels whips Edge into the ropes and hits a vertical atomic drop on Edge, a scoop slam, and takes the kendo stick for himself. He hits Edge in the head with the stick and Edge is down. HBK heads to the top rope and goes for the flying elbow… and it hits… but HBK is hurt… how tragic. Shawn signals for the Sweet Chin Music, but misses and gets a chair to the groin, courtesy of Edge. Edge doesn’t want to touch that chair anymore, so he goes to the ringside area for a new one. Nevermind, Edge is going for his one man con-chair-toe. HBK low blows Edge just in time to save his skull from being smashed in. HBK goes to hit Edge with the chair, but gets caught with a spear. Edge makes a cover, but Shawn Michaels kicks out… again. Edge is pissed off and rightfully so. Edge signals for a Sweet Chin Music of his own, but gets caught with the real thing. HBK covers Edge for the win at 15:03 (minus commercials). Afterwards, Kurt Angle makes a surprise appearance and beats the holy shit out of HBK. This match had a few cool spots and a few predictable/ugly spots. I’ll be fair and say ***.