WWF Raw Is War - February 28th, 2000:
- From God's favorite arena, Madison Square Garden, the night after No Way Out, which included some of the most bizarre booking decisions I could remember when going into a Wrestlemania. For those who'd like to remember what happend, here's a brief rundown of the results...
- European Champion Kurt Angle def. Intercontinental Champion Chris Jericho
- The Dudley Boyz def. Tag Team Champions; The New Age Outlaws
- Mark Henry def. Viscera after the PPV feed went out momentarily
- Edge & Christian def. The Hardy Boyz for the #1 Contendership to the Tag Titles
- Tazz def. Big Bossman by DQ in about 5 seconds
- X-Pac def. Kane in a No Holds Barred Match with the stupid steel steps finish used in every Kane No DQ Match.
- Too Cool & Rikishi def. The Radicalz sans Eddie Guerrero
- Big Show def. The Rock for the #1 Contendership when Shane McMahon returned and attacked the Rock.
- World Champion Triple H def. Cactus Jack in a Title v. Career HIAC Match.
Yes... every champion is a heel (Crash Holly being the unmentioned Hardcore Champ, and Essa Rios, who never had any face/heel continuity was L-HW Champ, but wrestled primarily faces until losing to Dean Malenko), and the main event for Wrestlemania appears to be an epic clash between Triple H and the Big Show, a.k.a Gomez Addams Jr. with the stupid haircut he had at the time. Color me upset and/or disappointed for these outcomes. However, it's the WWF, so anything can happen, and maybe "tonight", things will right itself, eh?
- Let's see who in the Raw opening is no longer with the promotion... Chyna, X-Pac, Gangrel, technically the Rock, Mick Foley is around once a decade, Ken Shamrock, Jeff Hardy, Road Dogg... and that's all. Surprisingly enough, most of the ones mentioned competed in TNA.
- Triple H, to no ones surprise, comes out for his 20 minute promo where he talks slowly and says the same thing over and over again. Triple H acts all nice about Foley from the night before, and introduces us to a special DX Mick Foley Tribute Video®, but after about 15 seconds, it turns into shots of Foley getting his ass kicked by Triple H, and many shots of him scratching his ass. Well, Triple H swerved us again, and now he starts gloating. Out comes Big Show and Shane McMahon for some talking, and after a little of nothing, The Rock comes out to run down everyone. After that, Triple H talks smack, and books The Rock in a match against... the Brooklyn Brawler?! Oh man... small tidbit... one of the earliest TV matches, if not the debut, of the Rock (Not counting PPV) was against the Brawler.
- Backstage, the Hardy Boyz get the in the Acolytes faces for last night, but Faarooq just tells them off. The Hardys, tough guys they are, toss over their table, then run like bitches before they can have their butts lathered by Bradshaw.
- The Hardy Boyz vs. The Acolytes:
This match was set up... from the situation 2 minutes ago. I smell an ass kicking... at least I hope. Matt with a plancha, but he's caught, but Jeff with a suicide dive/senton turns the tide. Inside, they nail a double leg drop on Faarooq. Bradshaw trips up Jeff, and Faarooq nails a spinebuster on Matt. Irish whip, and a double shoulder tackle to Matt. Irish whip, and Bradshaw with a big boot, followed by an elbow drop for a two count. Bradshaw continues the pounding, but Matt fights back and nails a tornado DDT. Jeff tags in to get clotheslined, but he comes off the ropes with a forearm. Irish whip, and Jeff jumps into the fallaway slam. Faarooq comes in for a two count. Small package by Jeff gets a two count as well. Faarooq explodes in the face of Jeff Hardy... it was JR's words, not mine. The Acolytes continue the beating on Jeff. Irish whip, and Bradshaw with a shoulder block on Jeff. Dominator is blocked and Jeff with a facebuster on Faarooq. Bradshaw prevents the hot tag, but he whips him into his own corner. Matt in with a Twist of Fate, and that wins it at 3:49. 1/2* Spectacularly rushed, sloppy, and squash-a-riffic match. You know, the usual from a 2000 Raw.
- Backstage Kurt Angle talks to some guy about which belt, the IC Title or European Title, weighs more.... yeah, Angle sure was working the comedy spot. Commercial time gives us WWF: The Music Vol. 4... blech. Other than Triple H's, I really don't see the love Mr. Ass' or Big Show's craptastic themes.
- WWF European Championship Match:
Kurt Angle © vs. Rikishi:
Angle runs down Darryl Strawberry during his entrance... ouch. That's worse than the Patrick Ewing verbal assault at the Royal Rumble. Anyway, this is an open challenge match, so Rikishi answers the call. Remember when Angle wasn't roided up to hell and appears to have a bigger (and balder) head? Yeah, I miss the look too. Rikishi pounds away on Angle to start and takes him down with a scoop slam. Fat-assed leg drop connects, so Angle goes to hide in the corner, where we get the... nevermind, Angle clips the knee of Rikishi before he can get his face stinked. Angle now with roundhouse rights, but he runs into a Samoan drop. Ass-Avalanch by Rikishi in the corner, and now we get the Stink Face. Blech... Angle, rightfully so, takes his belts and leaves town for the Count-Out at 1:39. DUD Match barely started, so just guess where I got the rating from. Afterwards, Angle gets on the mic' and runs down Rikishi giving him a Stinky. Jericho interrupts and sends Angle into the arms of Rikishi to take a modified Tombstone Piledriver. Banzai Drop brings me memories of Yokozuna dropping ass on Jim Duggan. Here comes the Radicalz now to assault Jericho, Rikishi, and Chyna, but Too Cool come out to make the save. Yes, people ran away from GRANDMASTER SEXAY AND SCOTTY TOO HOTTY. We get a Super-Dance-Off with Too Cool, Rikishi, Jericho, and Chyna after the match.
- Edge & Christian vs. Al Snow & Steve Blackman:
Blackman and Snow come out to some goofy-ass theme music and a silly titantron video. Terri joins the broadcast position, by the way, but she sucks, so it don't matter. Blackman dumps Christian out of the ring, but Snow runs into an Edge big boot. E&C send Snow to the corner for some modified Poetry in Motion. Russian leg sweep by Christian to Snow gets a two count. Blackman gets the blind tag and kicks away. The crowd starts a Head Cheese chant... wow. Blackman with a snap suplex, followed by some trash talking. Back breaker by Blackman, and he comes off the second rope with an elbow drop for a two count. Snow tags in with a bridging german suplex for a two count. Scoop slam by Snow, and he goes UP TOP~!, but Christian crotches him thanks to Edge's distraction. Edge in with dropkicks to Blackman, followed by a DDT for a two count. Christian sends Snow to the outside, but he still manags to trip uo Edge. Terri puts on a block of cheese hat to distract Blackman, and that allows Christian to nail a missile dropkick and Edge to finish him off with the spear at 3:22. * Short and inoffensive match, but a bit rushed to mean anything.
- The Rock vs. The Brooklyn Brawler:
What a main event to close out the first hour of Raw. The Brawler certainly will be a tough customer for the Rock here, considering he's in his hometown... or city, depending on what he says next week. By the way, he has a New York Yankees shirt on, a.k.a The BRONX Bombers, not Brooklyn. Rock attacks him in the aisle and stomps a mudhole in the Brawler's ass. Inside the ring and Brawler with his token stomping and punches in the corner. Rocky no sells though, and cleans his clock. Irish whip to the corner is countered into a Rock Bottom for three at 0:29. Afterwards, Rocky calls out the Show and the Nose for a match tonight, with the Contendership on the line.
- Chris Jericho (w/ Chyna) vs. Perry Saturn (w/ Dean Malenko):
I don't expect this to be very good, considering the longest match on the show so far barely clocked in at over 3 minutes. This match was set up from the earlier altercation after Rikishi/Angle. Slugfest to start, with Saturn controlling. Irish whip, and Jericho nails him with a clothesline, followed by some punching. Jericho with chops, and Saturn comes back with a modified T-Bone Suplex. Shoulders to the midsection by Saturn, followed by a scoop slam. He heads up to the second turnbuckle with a spinning leg drop for a two count. Saturn misses a boot by a good foot, but Jericho still sells. Irish whip to the corner is reversed, and Jericho takes him down with the bulldog. Irish whip, and Saturn with a hurricanrana attempt, but Jericho blocks and connects with a powerbomb. Lionsault attempt is prevented as Malenko pulls down the ropes then clotheslines Chyna's manly ass into 2003. Distractions happen, and Saturn nails a back suplex on Chyna. Back inside, and Saturn with a series of knees to the head. Chyna comes in with a low blow, and Jericho finishes him off with the Lionsault at 3:02. *3/4 Not very good, but with such limited time, it's the best you could hope for. Have I ever mentioned how much I hated Chyna, especially in the role she was used?
- Backstage D-Generation X have conflicts, but Billy Gunn wants to wrestle considering his arm is in a sling thanks to the Dudleys. After a little more scuffling, Triple H beats him down and DX uncermoniously throw him out of the locker room. Face turn by Gunn? Nope... he's got a legit injury, so he needs 6 months off to have surgery and recover.
- WWF Hardcore Championship Match:
Crash Holly © vs. "Sexual Chocolate" Mark Henry (w/ Mae Young):
Highlights from last week when Viscera gave Mae Young a big splash... oh yeah, and she's pregnant thanks to Henry. Yeah... Crash had won the title the previous Smackdown from Test, with a little help from his "cousin" Hardcore Holly. The 24/7 Rule hasn't been created yet, so don't expect 500 run-ins. Crash tries a waistlock, but Henry breaks it and hammers on Crash with hard forearms. Irish whip, and Crash runs outside. Henry follows, but gets elbowed in the chest and whipped into the ring post. Crash with a 2x4 to the midsection, and another blow across the back. Crash stomps away on Henry in the corner, but gets whipped to the corner and squashed with a BIG avalanche. Henry with a big hip toss, and he calls for the end... but Mae Young comes in and drops a "big" splash, but she sells it... and the match never ends as we get a No Contest at around 2:00. DUD Not much of a match. Out come EMT's, Brisco, Patterson, and Moolah to help... if you don't know where this is going, be thankful.
- We get several segments backstage as Mae Young goes into labor... in a locker room. Oh man... after several unfunny segments, with Mae saying she hasn't had per period in roughly 40 years, flatulence and cigar smoking, Mae Young gives birth (wuth the help of the tongs of life)... to a HAND. Everyone acts like they want to vomit, probably because of how horrible the entire angle was. Surprisingly, Mark Henry would be sent to OVW soon after to "lose" weight, which he did... but they made him load it back on anyway, in a sign of stupid real life continuity. Patterson's "let's give Mae a hand" line is still pretty funny, though.
- Tazz vs. Chris Benoit (w/ Eddie Guerrero):
Oh hell yeah, this could be interesting. This could be Benoit's MSG Debut. Lockup into the corner, and Benoit hammers away. Irish whip, and Benoit connects with a charging elbow, followed by a snap suplex and elbow drop for a one count. They exchange blows. Irish whip to the corner is reversed, but Benoit books Tazz in the face. It's no sold though, and Tazz nails a overhead belly-to-belly suplex, but Eddie distracts the referee from makihng a count. Tazz with the Alabama Slam, and again Eddie causes problems. Tazz slaps Benoit as the ref tosses Guerrero from ringside. Irish whip, and a series of counters and duckings turns into Benoit clubbing on Tazz and nailing the rolling germans. Here comes Albert and Boss Man as Tazz applies the Tazmission, so BBM/Albert run in for the DQ at 2:04. Benoit with a german suplex as the beatdown continues. * Damn WWF for teasing us with potentially good matches and jipping us. Tazz's "push" sure went to hell really fast, didn't it?
- WWF Tag Team Championship Match:
The Dudley Boyz © vs. Road Dogg & X-Pac (w/ Tori):
The rematch from the previous nights title change, but Gunn is injured, so X-Pac is replacing him. All four men brawl to start. D'Von sends X-Pac out of the ring and the Dudleys nail a modified 3-D on Road Dogg. Bubba (technically still spelled Buh-Buh at the time) hammers on the Dogg and takes him over with a suplex. Bubba with a blatant punch to the balls, and D'Von tags in to connect with his twirling back elbow. Snapmare by D'Von, and he applies a reverse chinlock. Dogg fights free and gets a sunset flip for a two count. D'Von up first, and he drops Dogg with a clothesline. Bubba in with a scoop slam followed by a series of elbow drops for a two count. Bubba works on Road Dogg in the corner, but Road Dogg's a Crackhead on Fire. Jabs and Jivin' by Road Dogg, and he drops D'Von with the roundhouse. Bubba takes him down with a clothesline, but runs into the boot of Road Dogg. X-Pac gets the heel tag and puts down both opponents with heel kicks. X-Pac sucks chant as we get the Bronco Buster... and it's Kane! X-Pac runs, so Kane destroys the Dudleys and Road Dogg with chokeslams. No Contest I guess, at 4:30. 1/2* Match was nothing special anyway, so I don't care about the lame finish. Kane/X-Pac was one feud that just wouldn't die.
- Real Tribute Video to Mick Foley. Of course, it's only highlights of his WWF Career and home movies/pictures, because the WWF at the time didn't have the massive video libraries of every federation known to Mankind, Dude Love, or Cactus Jack. :-P
- The Rock vs. Triple H & Big Show (w/ Shane & Stephanie McMahon):
It's time for the Main Event.... I guess, I don't care. I just hope it's short, because I hate handicap matches, and I've never been a fan of anyone in the match, except for the Rock's run in 1998 and 2003 as the ultra-cocky heel. The Rock needs to pin either HHH or Show to get his Contendership status back for Wrestlemania 2000. Rock and Triple H exchange blows to start, with the Rock coming out on top. Hunter comes back by sending Rock to the buckle, but he gets dropped with a back elbow and more rights. Irish whip to the corner, and Hunter does the Harley Race bump out of the ring. Rocky follows and sends HHH into the ring steps, then brawl up the aisle. Here comes the Big Lazy Show to takes the Rock back to the ring, but Rock ain't selling for nobody right now. Back inside the ring, and Rock with a diving clothesline to HHH, but he gets taken down with a neck breaker. Here comes the Show to stomp all over the Rock, and he connects with a side back breaker and leg drop. Triple H tags back in to hammer away on the Rock. The heels dominate with nothing more than punches and kicking for quite a while. HHH dumps the Rock outside, and puts him down with a running knee for a two count. The punching and kicking continues until Rocky puts down HHH with a swinging neckbreaker. The face on fire run lasts no longer as a knee to the face stops him. Heel miscomunication happens and Rock nails a DDT on Big Show. Rock with a spinebuster on Hunter, a clothesline sends Show out, and a Rock Bottom to Hunter. People's Elbow time... and Shane runs in for the DQ at 6:51. The Rock didn't pin anyone, so Rock doesn't get his title match. SWERVE! 1/4* Another boring match, but at least it was a short one. It sounds like the crowd is chanting for Foley, but sorry, he isn't there. I expected MSG to know better.
Final Thoughts: Hmm... for a post-PPV Raw, this one really wasn't too good. A lot of short matches with lousy finishes, a lot of Triple H talking, and a shitty main event doesn't really excite me. Several of the pairings could've lead to some good matches (Saturn/Jericho, Benoit/Tazz, Angle/Rikishi...), but the overall rushing of everything hurt all of their chances at shining. Oh yeah... and Mae Young giving birth to a hand in Madison Square Garden is so wrong on many levels.