"The Cave" is your usual run-of-the-mill monster flick. A boring plot with missed opportunities and a forgettable cast makes me wonder why this was given a theatrical release.
The story starts with a flashback to the Trans-Carpathian mountains in Romania. A group of umm.... tomb robbers? Archaeologits? Commandos?..we're not sure (or else I forget) find an old church, set back in the mountains. They uncover a giant seal and enter a cavern beneath the building. They're soon trapped inside and hear a "spooky" cricket chirping noise that recalls the sound effects from "Predator" somewhat.
Cut to the current day where a "scientist" has re-discovered the remains of the church, and the cavern beneath. The obligatory old, frail, yet knowledgeable head scientist puts in a call to an EXTREME team of cave divers. With the intro out of the way, the divers arrive while the plot makes attempts to engage the audience. What follows is a dark and boring trip through the cavern. The cramped, longing-to-get-out feeling of the divers will engage the audience...but not in the way the movie wanted. Audiences will be wanting to get out of the theatres.
The cast is forgettable. Every member of the dive team is a REBEL...who does things THEIR way! They're indistinguishable and you quickly lose track of who's who. The Chinese guy from "Lost" is on board as a photographer. If this counts as his biggest break, the guy's in trouble. Piper Perabo, the cute broad with the big jaw from "Coyote Ugly" is included as the obligatory tomboy or "tough chic".
A funny scene occurs when the first member of the dive team is killed. Everyone in the exploring party (divers and scientists) acts somber, and you expect the head diver to say: "it's okay to cry...except YOU, Chinese Guy From Lost...you didn't know him! Don't cry!!" That is, if the sets don't make you laugh. Every cave set has perfect stalagmites and looks like the interior of Disney's Splash Mountain. In one room there's ice..in the next, fire!
A small effort to tie the monsters into history or folklore is alluded to, but nothing is done with it. It's just "oh yeah...some knights a long time ago used to fight these monsters". Really, that's the "historical" explanation. A crafty writer would have tied it into old biblical tales or given examples, instead of simply alluding to it.
If you like stuff like "the Relic" or "Deep Blue Sea", then it's only a few months until you can add this to your $4.88 bargain DVD collection.
Ticket price: 9.25
Worth: .75
eStrangand I'm surprised that you saw this. I could have told you that it would have been the crapith.
From now on, if you are curious about a horror film......look no further than your DWB God of Horror himself.............Dynamite Kido.
Now I know not to buy the DVD of this crappy movie.
We went into the movie expecting it to blow. We see some ads and think "oh yeah..this is gonna' suck. We're there, dude". Usually we see something like this and find something that makes us laugh uncontrollably...sort of like a live-action Mystery Science Theater. Heck, we even went to see "Walking Tall" last year, knowing it would be painful. That was fun, since there was a redneck broad sitting behind us. She answered her cellphone, talked to her friend, then apologized to the entire audience: "sorry, ya'll... had to take that!". She would also scream dumb stuff like "oh shit! Watch out! Behind the door!!" Completely terrible movie, but funny movie-going experience.
Aside from the "dont you dare cry, Chinese Guy From Lost", not much made us laugh about "The Cave". The theatre had maybe 12 people, tops. Dismal turnout for an opening movie on the teenaged side of town.