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Title: Smackdown & Velocity Spoilers...
Description: a.k.a Benoit shows us bathroom fun...


Scrooge McSuck - August 31, 2005 05:55 PM (GMT)
QUOTE
DARK MATCH

The Shane Twins (announced from Jacksonville for cheap pop) over Relative Unknown Jobbers.
-- Brief match, but didn't hold the crowd's attention for very long before fizzling.

VELOCITY

Super Crazy over Nunzio (non-title match)
-- Both the Mexicools and FBI came to ringside. Couple of ECW chants during this, but nothing really got started.

Hardcore Holly over Random Jobber
-- Total squash. Very stiff shots in this match, but it's Hardcore Holly, so no shocks.

Brian Kendrick (!!!) over Paul London
-- Spanky pulls out Sliced Bread #2 to pull out the win.

Big Vito over Steven Richards
-- Steven Richards bumped like a mad man for Vito.

Doug "The Bash Man" Basham over Random Jobber
-- Basham's new gimmick is almost exactly like Rob Conway's, except WITHOUT the gay shorts.

SMACKDOWN

Heidenreich over Johnny Nitro
-- The New LOD is fairly over.but many wanted to see MNM's entrance (or should I say, Melina's entrance)

Ken Kennedy over Booker T (with interference from Christian)
-- Ken Kennedy is getting over slowly but surely, but mainly because he is that arrogant on the mike. Teasing Tony Chimel always wins crowd points though. Finish came as Christian (who was doing guest commentary) started to get into an argument with Sharmell, distracting Booker T long enough for Kennedy to hit his finisher.

Chris Benoit over his bowel and the toilet in 23 seconds (the 'Coffee Cup' or 'Orlando Jordan' Challenge continues)
-- This week, Chris Benoit decided to see if he could use the bathroom faster than he beat Orlando Jordan, and beats his own record by 2 seconds. He tells Josh Matthews that he'll break his own record tonight.

Chris Benoit over Orlando Jordan in 23.4 seconds
-- They put a timer on this match. Orlando Jordan tries to attack early and gets about 13 or 14 seconds of offense in before Benoit snaps in the Crossface and defeats him in 23.4 seconds. See you later Orlando, enjoy curtain jerking on Velocity now that you've been buried TWICE.

Divas Match - Stacy vs. Christy - No Contest due to interference from "Sylvain"
-- The 'Network Executive' insisted that the ladies have a match tonight, and just as it gets underway, the new 'Sylvain' interrupts to show the Divas how to make an entrance. He's interrupted by Hardcore Holly who beats the crap out of Grenier and sends him packing. No match here.

Batista over Simon Dean
-- Total comedy match. Simon hypes Batista as a user of the Simon System. Batista comes out, tries his stuff, seems stronger, then starts beating the crap out of Simon. He wears himself down, grabs another Simonshake, downs it, and continues. Match finish sees a Batista Bomb and a commercial pose standing on top of Simon. Totally hilarious. Batista is definitely developing as a character and was WAY over.

William Regal and Paul Burchall over Scotty 2 Hotty and Funaki
-- Heel Regal is way better than face Regal. Short and painful. Definitely the "pee-break" match.

Randy Orton over Rey Mysterio
-- Very nice match between these two. Finish involved a failed West Coast Pop where Orton CAUGHT Rey Rey on his arm (giving him a simultaneously sick looking low-blow) and then dropping him with a top rope RKO.

POST SHOW DARK MATCH

Batista over Randy Orton
-- Without introduction, Batista comes out and the two get into a quick match. Batista defeats Randy Orton in a slightly sloppy but entertaining match.

No JBL, No Undertaker, No Eddie Guerrero (except in a very creepy promo). Crowd went home somewhat happy - but wanted UT to show.

Biggest Pops:
1 - Batista, 2 - Divas/Booker T, 3 - Chris Benoit, 4 - Hardcore Holly

Biggest Heat:
1 - Randy Orton, 2 - Sylvain

NEXT WEEK ON SMACKDOWN:

Batista vs. JBL in a BullRope Match for the World Heavyweight Championship
Chris Benoit vs. Orlando Jordan (AGAIN) for the U.S. Championship
LOD vs. MNM for the Tag Team Championship
Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio Jr in a STEEL CAGE
Undertaker expected to show up


I find this person tries to act all smart. "OMG! HOLLY IS THROWING PUNCHES! HE'S STIFFING HJIM~!!l2004!"

Back to the show...


Dear London,

Welcome to Jobberville.

Population: You

Mad Dog - August 31, 2005 05:59 PM (GMT)
This sounds like complete and utter shit even by current WWF standards.

Real F'n Show - August 31, 2005 06:08 PM (GMT)
Spanky/London will be fun, as will the Guerrero/Mysterio cage match next week. Orton/Mysterio might be pretty decent. Rest looks like shit. Didn't we just have a Christian/Booker T feud? Booker should just retire, they have NOTHING for him.

Scrooge McSuck - August 31, 2005 06:14 PM (GMT)
If Eddie loses next week, there is no hope for the booking team. If MNM doesn't win the titles back next week, I'm paying a special visit to someones house, and if JBL wins the title... (collapses)

jamiegeist - August 31, 2005 08:45 PM (GMT)
They have nothing for Booker because he is the stalest (is that a word) guy on the roster. Both in character terms and his horribly plodding, lame, repetitive ringwork.

Not sure why I hate Booker T.....but boy do I.

Scrooge McSuck - August 31, 2005 08:48 PM (GMT)
I can't believe you... someone besides me actually doesn't like Booker T!

eStragand - August 31, 2005 09:35 PM (GMT)
Next week's card looks like something I'd want to watch....assuming I still had a TV, that is.

Scrooge McSuck - August 31, 2005 09:45 PM (GMT)
Just go a to a dirt motel and watch it. :P

prof_plague - August 31, 2005 10:34 PM (GMT)
So, is SD on Fridays now?

Scrooge McSuck - August 31, 2005 10:35 PM (GMT)
Read the Smackdown topic.

prof_plague - August 31, 2005 10:55 PM (GMT)
QUOTE (Scrooge McSuck @ Aug 31 2005, 04:35 PM)
Read the Smackdown topic.

Yeah, I just read that after I made this post.

Scrooge McSuck - August 31, 2005 10:55 PM (GMT)
Just keeping you on your toes, babe... uh... guy.

dynamite kido - August 31, 2005 11:50 PM (GMT)
Well, next weeks show looks REALLY good. Hopefully it delivers.

I swear, even though it's really bad TV filler.............I love the Benoit stuff. I'd rather have him doing shit like this than jobbing to people that don't even deserve to be in the ring with him.

Scrooge McSuck - August 31, 2005 11:57 PM (GMT)
It's definitely stacked, so I hope it delivers good results.

And Plague... go back to the Melina picture! No one wants to see 2 sweaty men with questionable private lives sweating next to each other. :P

Mad Dog - September 1, 2005 01:46 AM (GMT)
Next week Benoit sees if he can catch an STD quicker than he beat Orlando Jordan by fucking Lita.

jamiegeist - September 13, 2005 11:31 PM (GMT)
New Spoilers are out. Looks like fun, and finally some new direction.




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