Dark:
*Nunzio and Vito defeated Trevor Rhodes & Garrison Cade.

Velocity:
*WWE Tag Team champions MNM defeated Roadkill and Danny Doring.
*Frankie Kazarian pinned Scotty Too Hotty.
*The BWO defeated Nick Berk, Jason Static & Scott Sower.
*Christian defeated Funaki.

Smackdown

*Show opens with video package announcing JBL will have a victory speech "tonight" for his victory this Sunday against Batista for the WWE World championship.

*Rey Mysterio defeated Super Crazy via DQ. Eddie Guerrero comes down and does commentary several minutes in. Mysterio hits the 619 on Crazy. Guerrero grabs one of the lawn mowers and breaks it over Rey's back for the DQ.

*They did a video feature on two great Americans - JBL and George Washington.

*Backstage, Eddie Guerrero tells Teddy Long that he's leaving. Long says that he isn't going anywhere because he has a match tonight. When he questions who he is wrestling, Long says it's a secret.

*Backstage, Josh Matthews interviews Christian. They keep showing footage of Christian hitting the Unprettier on Booker T. Christian says that he's going to defeat Booker at the Great American Bash.

*Backstage, Road Warrior Animal is putting on his makeup. Heidenreich comes up to him and says he has a poem for Animal. Animal says he is more like Hawk than he thought.

*They air another video on two great Americans - JBL and Neil Armstrong.

*Animal & Heidenreich defeated Julio Dinero and Nick Berk, using the Doomsday Device for the win.

*Chris Benoit is the mystery opponent for Eddie Guerrero. He tells Guerrero that he's listening to the wrong people and even his wife is trying to reason with him. Benoit was busted open across the back of his neck and was bleeding badly. Guerrero walked out after about 18 minutes and near falls.

*They aired a recap of Undertaker laying out Muhammad Hassan's lawyer last week.

*Candice Michelle comes out and announces the United States military will see the PPV this weekend for free. Melina comes out and they mention that Michelle will be the referee this weekend for the Melina vs. Wilson match. She attacked Michelle and tries to pull off her skirt. Torrie Wilson made the save and ran off Melina.

*They aired a video on two great Americans - JBL and Martin Luther King.

*Booker T pinned Simon Dean. Simon said that he respects Booker, but not Sharmell because she goes to the buffet "Five times, Five times, Five times."

*They aired a video of two great Americans - JBL and Ronald Regan.

*JBL's "Victory Speech" features JBL coming out dressed like Uncle Sam as they drop red, white, and blue confetti. He says that last year at the Great American Bash he won the belt and he will again this year. He noted that Batista is on the cover of Smackdown Magazine and shows a mock-up of the "next issue" with JBL winning the belt. Batista hit the ring and ran off JBL and Orlando Jordan. Batista wore the Uncle Sam hat before leaving.

Velocity looks appetizing for those of us who don't mind watching midcarders and "Jobbers", and Smackdown sure as hell looks a lot better and more entertaining on paper than Raw was. Yuck.

Well, that looks decent. ...All of it. I can't wait to see those "Two Great Americans" segments.

And notice, Mike Bucci gets to be both bWo Nova and Simon Dean. Good for him. And good the WWE for just having the Simon Dean character just disappear after bring drafted.

Benoit and Guerrero, huh? I wish there was a way to figure out how many times they've wrestled each other.

This must be the first time in WWE history that a non-jobber (as in over-weight no-names from back in the day) was wrestling under 2 different gimmicks in the same time frame. Last week he's Simon Dean, this week he's Nova. Go WWE!

At least it's not obvious he's both. He's earning his paycheck.

Shouldn't he get 2 paychecks since he's competing as 2 people?

Yeah. But they better be paid-out to two different people. The WWE doesn't want anyone to catch on. ;)

Velocity looks killer. Doring and Roadkill. And Even Smackdown. Julio Dinero? Kickass.

Well it looks like like WWE is taking our offensive ideas and running with them. That JBL /MLK video is bound to piss people off.

I can't wait until the fun loving Heidenreich defiles Hawk's grave.

Yeah, I can't wait for the upcoming Animal-Heidenreich feud. :shudders:

Speaking of Heidenreich, here's a nugget of shit no one wants to remember... whatever happend to the Little Johnny angle?

Oh God. I just realized they are gonna make Heidenreich a member of LOD. Now THAT's offensive.

Even Droz was a better member for LOD than Heidenreich. At least Droz looked like a guy who came off the streets (stinking of booze). Heidenreich just looks like a goofy wuss.